The Lost Doll
SOLO, 1490 words
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Selvei giggled quietly as he clapped his hands together, over and over.
He'd figured out that, when he did that, and when he thought about it really hard, he could make sparkles appear. They arrived, just as he expected them to, exploding into silent flashes of light in midair - blue and white and green and pretty, like when one tossed water into the air and it became diamonds. He tried to catch one of them in his hand as it fell to the ground, but the moment it touched his palm, it flickered out into nothing. The rest vanished as they touched the floor, leaving behind a glow that also faded – draining through the wood like water.
He clapped his hands again, glancing over his shoulder quickly. He had to be quiet – Mommy was asleep and he didn't want to wake her. Ruulu was asleep and he
really did not want to wake her. He especially didn't want her to see the sparkles. She'd find some way to be mean about them, that was certain. And Mommy... He wanted to play with them a little more first, have it be his secret for a while before showing it to her.
The rain of sparkles nearly startled him, and he bit back a yelp, instead sticking out his tongue to catch one. They tasted like rain and heat, but they faded away before he could figure out what else they reminded him of. The rest of the sparks darkened on the floor, becoming nothing.
About to clap again, he had a better idea – what if he made one of his toys sparkle? Maybe it would stay sparkly longer if he did it! Then he could show Mommy without Ruulu seeing. Or Arronthain... or daddy... he could all of them! At the same time! He rifled through his toys, taking out his favorite dolly. It was made of wood and leather and painted green, with little markings on it. It had little antenna on it – an Alkidike. Auntie Kaa had given it to him, though she hadn't made it. Some friend of hers had, though, someone she'd said he could meet someday. He'd like to! Maybe he could get more dolls, build a whole family like his.
It was his favorite because he could make it do things, like fight and run and climb, and even fly in his hands! He knew that Ruulu would break it if she saw it, so he only played with it when she wasn't around. And now, he would make it sparkle, so it would be even better!
But how would he do that? Maybe if he clapped his hands on it, the sparkles would go on it too! That seemed to be the right idea! But how did he do that?
“Ah!” he exclaimed, putting the toy in one hand. If he clapped his hands, he would clap them both on the toy! That would work! Perfect!
Selvei focused again, trying to get the right sparkle-making feeling in his head. And then, with an eager grin, he clapped his hands. It hurt his hands to clap on the doll and he winced in pain, biting back a cry of pain so that he wouldn't wake anybody. Tentatively, he opened his eyes, expecting to see sparkles, his toy, and possibly a sparkly toy.
He saw nothing. His hands were empty. All that remained was an indentation on his hand in the shape of the doll, and a few glowing sparks fading away into nothingness. “Ah...?!” he exclaimed, frowning as he looked at the floor. It hadn't fallen. He looked beneath him – sometimes things he couldn't find were underneath him. It was not, however, there.
“Where?” Selvei asked, confused. He crawled on the floor, trying to see into every nook and cranny. “Where are you?” He couldn't find it – his favorite toy, the thing he wanted to show his Mommy, the thing he wanted to make sparkly. It was gone.
He searched until he grew tired. It was too much! How could he have lost his favorite toy? Where did it go? Now he couldn't show anyone anything! There was nothing to do but cry. Or was there? Sniffling, on his side, he clapped his hands one more time, weakly. Nothing happened. He clapped again, a little harder. No sparks. No toy. Had he done something wrong?
---
Selvei couldn't tell mommy or daddy about the vanished toy – he now knew it was vanished. Lost toys appeared elsewhere. Vanished toys were gone forever. He had made it vanish, because he had been bad. Somehow, he had been bad, and was being punished. Auntie Kaa had given him that toy, and he was sure – completely sure – that they would all be angry with him if he didn't somehow find it. Or... get it back? Could he do that? He had made it disappear, couldn't he bring it back? If he was being punished, then no. But if he wasn't, then maybe he could. He had to try – at least then he'd know.
He looked around him, just to be sure that he was alone and unobserved. His little face scrunched up in concentration as he tried to calm himself and do the special focus that brought the sparkles. Tentatively, he lifted his hands and brought them together...
No clap.
He hesitated there, hands hovering in mid air, barely touching. He shifted uncomfortably, glancing behind him again.
He was still alone.
He frowned at his hands, bringing them back and then, quickly together....
No. No clap again. He glanced behind him yet again. If he clapped, it might be loud this time, and everybody would know he had done something wrong. That would be bad – he was a good boy. He didn't want to be punished by them, too!
Which meant that he had to clap. He had to make the sparkles come again. He brought his hands away, steeled himself, and then brought them together. Hard.
It was the loudest clap he had ever made. It shuddered and resounded through the wet air of Jauhar, and he was sure that every member of his family, from person to beast, had to have heard it. Selvei flinched, ears twitching, expecting footsteps at any moment... but there they were! The sparkles; glittering in the air like stars.
And there it was! The doll, covered with sparkles like pollen, lying on the floor! They dripped off of it like water, seeping into the wood, and Selvei could see the floor through the shape of it, a contoured glittering outline that was clearly the doll. There – he could see the antenna! And there was the curved chest, and there... the spear!
It was as if it was there – enough for the sparkles to rest on it before fading away, but it wasn't there enough to be seen. He reached for it, comforted by the feel of it even as the sparkles fell off of it like dew and left it without any hint of visibility. He cuddled it to him, so that he wouldn't lose it, beaming through his tear-blotched face.
Now he could show mommy!
---
Mommy had been very confused, and Selvei could understand. The doll was there – but it wasn't! It could confuse anybody, even his big sister and brother who knew everything. He was going to show it to Daddy next, and maybe to Arronthain and Auntie Kaa – but not to Ruulu. She would throw it, or something, and he would lose it forever. He held onto the doll tightly. He didn't want to lose it again.
Though, Mommy had tried to help him with that. She'd helped him tie a string around the doll's neck – a brown bit of twine. It looked like it was floating on nothing. It was, she told him, something that Daddy would do, because it was smart. See, this way, he'd always know where it was.
But the brown twine blended into the wood and he couldn't see it if it was too far away from his face, so he held onto it so that it wouldn't fall. Maybe Daddy would have a brighter ribbon, or a better thing to tie onto it. Still – Selvei was pleased, because even though she was confused, Mommy had been proud. She had given him lots of hugs, and he'd thought he'd lose the dolly again, there were so many.
It would have been bad to lose the doll, but if it was from hugs, that would be okay, Selvei supposed. Maybe Daddy would hug him, too – hug him close to his big strong chest, like Selvei was hugging the doll now. Maybe. Daddy did not give out hugs all the time. But maybe this time, he would.
Because this was special, maybe he would.
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