Three days after his second run in with mag Mell, Rikard, he was still feeling the effects. He hadn’t realized he had so many mixed up feelings toward his ex and it had taken him a few days before he was willing to even admit he might need to sort through them. The half a bottle of wine he’d enjoye the second night hadn’t helped as much as he’d hoped.

Work had at least been a bit of a distraction and he’d buried himself in that as much as he could during the days. Coming home to his loft meant he couldn’t get away from his thoughts anymore thought.

That evening he’d made dinner, some shrimp and pasta, and turned on the tv for the background noise. It wasn’t enough to drown out everything the Knight had said to him. Not even enough to drown out everything he was still thinking about himself. It was obvious from how they’d both reacted that neither of them had really dealt with things from that time in their lives. Rik, or whoever he was now, didn’t seem to remember much of them but he did seem to remember the Negaverse.

Not somewhere he would have thought Rik would end up. If what Mag Mell said was true though that had started before they’d become a thing. Knowing that did make him question if anything he’d done for Rik had done any good.

Leaving obviously hadn’t helped at all either.

The Negaverse did explain a bit of why Rik wouldn’t move out to Cali with him. From the others he’d met they were usually more dedicated to the cause than the Senshi. So if Rik thought he’ had something better there then he wouldn’t have wanted to leave that behind. He didn’t really get why anyone would choose the negaverse over someone who cared for them though.There had been something going on in Rik’s head that his ex didn’t ever tell him about. Something he’d missed and probably made worse when he’d decided to move. Finding out what that was though was out of the question since the only person who could answer that didn’t remember any of it.

He couldn’t remember the Negaverse though and maybe whatever had made him see that being with them was in the wrong was the way to go about finding things.

It still hurt that he hadn’t been enough to drag Rik out of that life. What kind of boyfriend had he been, had Rik thought he’d been, if that was the case? Not as good of one as he’d thought. Somewhere along the way it was probably cosmic payback for both of them for lying to each other about that part of their lives.

They’d both made shitty decisions and it seemed that Rik at least had started making better ones. He wasn’t sure that he was doing any better himself.

He needed to get over Rik if he was going to get his life back together. Whoever he was now wasn’t the same person he’d fallen for even if hsi body was still walking around. It was strange to think he hadn’t really ever gotten over Rik since he’d thought he had. It would still be better to think that Rik was dead and that was the end. He could deal with that a lot easier than he could deal with the whole mess of amnesia. That could come later.

He wasn’t quite sure he could deal with apologizing to Mag Mell, not yet at least, even if he needed to. They both needed to talk, properly, but they both needed to clear their heads and take some time to process things.

So he could spend some time avoiding the area he’d run into Mag Mell both times. Give himself some time to process Rik’s death.

Then maybe he could talk to the Knight.