Word Count: 1586

“Shh…” Yuuri hushed quietly as he closed the distance between himself and Adrien, their mouths pressed together, almost chaste with hesitance. Even though his eyes slipped shut of their own accord, there was a part of him that wanted to watch Adrien’s reaction, to see the emotion and energy that flickered almost electrically through those blue eyes of his. Although, he supposed Adrien might not be able to keep his eyes open, either.

Trembling hands pushed at Adrien’s shoulders, prompting him to step backwards until his back was against the wall, hoping to keep him away from anything that might distract him. Yuuri’s hands smoothed across Adrien’s chest, a gesture meant to calm himself as much as it was meant to sooth Adrien.

He felt a little guilty about it, using this as a way to get Adrien to stop talking, their mouths pressed together, gentle and exploring. It wasn’t even as though Yuuri disliked Adrien’s voice. He liked it very much. He liked hearing Adrien talk about himself, or about the movies he’d seen, or about random things that came to mind. He liked giving Adrien attention, just as much as he liked the attention he got in return. But sometimes he just wanted this. Adrien didn’t seem to mind at least, or if he did mind he hadn’t said or done anything to indicate that he disapproved. If anything, Yuuri took the fact that Adrien finally lifted his own hands to slide along Yuuri’s sides and circle around his waist as a positive gesture.

Yuuri shivered under the touch, but before Adrien could interpret his reaction as Yuuri not wanting his hands there, he grasped his fingers into the front of Adrien’s shirt, clutching tightly as he tilted his head back. He leaned up to press their lips more firmly together, his other hand sliding up the back of Adrien’s neck, his fingered gently treading through his hair, affectionately scratching at the base of his skull, dragging his short nails down the back of his neck, and then back up.

While Adrien was a few inches taller than Yuuri was, their difference in height wasn’t impossible to deal with. In fact, as long as Yuuri pushed himself up on his tiptoes, it was like there was no difference at all. Being a little shorter made things easier for him, Yuuri thought. It gave him the perfect excuse to move closer to him, to press against him, close enough to feel the way Adrien’s heart pounded in his chest.

He liked this. Probably too much, because getting attached was not something he wanted to do. It wasn’t something he could afford to do, for either of them. Adrien was bright eyed and cheerful, and the last thing Yuuri wanted to do was to break his heart and to tell him that whatever they did, however they felt for the other, even if it was one sided, wasn’t going to last. It was never meant to last.

That made Yuuri feel guilty too, because he didn’t think he could live with hurting Adrien like that, but he drowned out the festering thoughts of what could happen in the future by pressing more firmly against Adrien’s body and mouth, a little hiccup of a gasp escaping as he drew back just enough to catch his breath. Adrien could probably tell that he sorely lacked any kind of experience with this, but he was being a surprisingly good sport about it. He was letting Yuuri go at his own pace, letting him hold on tight and press his open mouth to Adrien’s, shyly tasting him, sweeping his tongue against Adrien’s lips and pressing hesitantly inside his mouth.

Yuuri knew his face was red, knew that Adrien could probably feel the heat from his cheeks, probably feel the heavy beat of his heart that threatened to jump right out of his chest. But he liked this. He wanted this. Feeling Adrien’s hands against his waist, sliding up and down his back, dipping maybe a little too low; this was what he wanted.

He let out a squeak of surprise as Adrien suddenly pushed him backwards, and Yuuri nearly stumbled, and would have surely fallen had he not been holding onto Adrien and Adrien holding onto him. His eyes opened, darker than he was sure Adrien was used to seeing from him, but Adrien’s eyes looked just as dark, almost determined.

Adrien pushed him backwards and guided him until the back of his legs hit the edge of the couch, and before he realized what was happening, he was sprawled onto his back with Adrien kneeling over top of him. If he died right then from a heart attack, Yuuri would not have been surprised. The way his heart was racing was probably concerning. It made him dizzy, hazy.

But he couldn’t stop himself. He pulled at Adrien’s neck, prompting him to lean the rest of the way down, their kisses continuing more messy and desperate than before. How someone as dashingly handsome as Adrien could possibly want to make out with someone as boring and plain as Yuuri, he just didn’t know.

And he didn’t care. Not right then, at least. Not when he could feel the warm press of Adrien’s body and mouth against his own, his hand sinking into his pale hair, gripping tightly, desperately trying to keep him from pulling away.

He shouldn’t get attached. He shouldn’t be doing this. He shouldn’t -

A loud beeping startled Yuuri, and he practically jumped up from the couch, nearly hitting his face against Adrien’s as his heart stuttered. He opened his eyes to the dark of the room, sweat pouring down his face as he clutched at the scratchy sheets, the image of blue eyes fading as reality caught up with him.

Dazed and disoriented, he twisted and turned, reaching up to the desk over the rail of his bed, hitting the button to turn off the alarm as quickly as he could manage while trying to remember how to breathe properly. He flopped miserably back down onto the bed once he’d managed it, and flung an arm over his eyes as he tried to keep the images and feel and taste of everything in his dream still there in his head for as long as he could.

Heat blossomed more intensely in his cheeks as he realized just how desperate he seemed. It wasn’t as though Adrien hadn’t already kissed him, the morning after they’d gone dancing at the club, after they’d both been drunk and Adrien had to pull Yuuri away from the crowd before he completely freaked out.

Adrien could have left him there, he could have let Yuuri wander off and then could have found someone else that night. He didn’t have to take him away from where everyone else was having a good time, just so Yuuri could feel more comfortable. But Adrien did. Instead of passing it off as Yuuri just being overdramatic, he unselfishly pulled him away from everything that was overwhelming him. Yuuri couldn’t remember the last time anyone had done that for him. He was so used to being on his own.

And then that kiss. That kiss that left him completely breathless and shaking. He still didn’t know what he did wrong that morning, or what could have spooked Adrien into jumping up and leaving so quickly, but Yuuri hated himself for it, whatever it was.

Especially since he could still feel the press of lips against his own, the taste of Adrien on his tongue, the feel of his hands pressed against him, holding him and -

Yuuri groaned, lifting both of his hands this time to rub at his face, and then gave his cheeks a few sharp taps to hopefully help wake him up. He did not need to be dreaming about Adrien. He did not need to keep feeling warm and comfortable every time he thought of his bright, smiling face, or the way he stupidly and adorably sashayed as he walked, the sound of his voice, especially when he said his name, sometimes quietly, sometimes drawn out and teasing. And the confidence that radiated from him almost too much to handle.

And yet, the next thing Yuuri did was to reach up next to where his alarm clock was and grab his phone, checking to see if he’d missed any texts and was disappointed when there were none. Yet.

Ever since that morning when Adrien ran out of his apartment, Yuuri has been doing his best to avoid responding to any of Adrien’s calls or texts. Even though he wanted more, he knew it was too much for him. He knew he needed to cut the ties before it was too late.

But he also missed him, almost desperately so. He missed the way Adrien looked at him, as though he was something. As though he was someone. Like his existence mattered. It was enough to break his heart and make it grow double in size at the same time, because one day Yuuri knew he might end up breaking Adrien’s heart, or one day Adrien would get bored of him, or find someone else, or realize that he was too good for someone like Yuuri.

He sighed heavily and finally pushed himself up so he could get ready for class, reminding himself that he shouldn’t be getting attached.