He learned that night that people probably weren’t nearly as careful as they should be about making sure people who were underage didn’t have access to alcohol, because Adrien made it look really easy to get him drinks. His hand was still red and raw from scrubbing the permanent marker off in the bathroom, and he kept it under the table as he waited for Adrien to come back, wringing his wrists anxiously, his half drunken fruity whatever it was in front of him.
How people weren’t deaf, he didn’t know. The music was set with a low bass, making everything around him vibrate. He could barely hear himself think, much less hear anyone around him. He supposed he should have translated Adrien’s suggestion to have a night out on the town as going to a club, because what else could it possibly mean? He felt jumpy and on edge, trying not to focus on the flashing lights or anyone who might be looking his way. Which meant that it was harder to keep an eye on where Adrien ran off to. The bar, naturally, but he couldn’t tell if he was just waiting for drinks or if he was busy chatting with the bartender or people sitting around.
The twisting in his stomach he blamed on just being nervous, and definitely not because he was feeling like this was a horrible idea because not only did he have no idea what he was doing, but he was fairly certain he would end up watching Adrien find someone else to enjoy his time with and probably forget Yuuri was even there.
Miserably, Yuuri took the rest of his drink and downed it, and then made a face at the taste.
Where Yuuri was unsure, Adrien was absolutely positively sure. There were no concerts around that he could have taken him too, which was what Adrien had initially wanted to do; but a club was the next best thing, even if it meant sort of smuggling Yuuri in because he was only nineteen - something that Adrien was having trouble thinking about, or remembering, or forgetting, or some combination of all of these things.
He wormed his way through the crowd back to where he could see Yuuri hunched over the table, drinks held high to avoid being jostled. Dressed in a pair of designer jeans and a white teeshirt that glowed bright under blacklight, Adrien swung a hard left and arrived at the table, setting the drinks down and shoving the more fruity one towards Yuuri. His other glass was empty, so it was good timing.
“For you, sweetheart,” said Adrien brightly, and swirled a straw through his own Long Island. “How are you liking it so far?”
He had to yell to be heard over the din, but standing closer to Yuuri made it so he wasn’t screaming himself hoarse. Adrien let his shoulder bump into Yuuri’s, flashing him a bright, searing grin.
Truth be told, he was still surprised that Yuuri had even agreed to this in the first place - but he was undeniably thrilled it had come about at all. Adrien glanced around at the thick throngs of people, then back at Yuuri, smiling brightly at him.
“Enjoying yourself yet?”
It would be been rude to decline Adrien’s offer, that was all. Or that’s what Yuuri told himself. He didn’t want to offend him, and it was polite to agree to it, and he had nothing better to do. It wasn’t as though he had any other friends to hang out with on the weekend. He barely talked to his classmates. His roommate was horrible. He’d only met Adrien because of a freak accident and apparently Adrien had decided to adopt him as a friend or something.
“Thank you,” he said, quietly at first, but then when he realized there was no way for Adrien to hear him, he cleared his throat and tried again louder. “Thank you. How much do I owe you?” he asked as he shifted to try and reach his back pocket to pull out his wallet. He knew drinks must be expensive, and he didn’t want Adrien to have to pay for it all on his own.
“It’s - “ he paused as he looked up and around at the strobing lights, the questionably dressed club goers, the music loud enough to make him feel dizzy and overheated and, okay maybe it wasn’t just the music making him feel a little out of sorts. “It’s great, thank you,” he said, again too quietly to really be heard, although this time he didn’t try to repeat himself.
Yuuri was sure he wasn’t dressed for a club. He wore simple, straight legged dark-gray jeans and kept his mulberry-grey button down shirt untucked and the long sleeves rolled up to his elbows. He wasn’t prepared for the blacklight, and he was trying not to keep picking at the specks of lint he kept finding on his pant legs. He felt entirely out of place, and much too on edge.
But this was something Adrien wanted to do, he reminded himself and he glanced over at the other man after jumping a little when he bounced his shoulder against Yuuri’s, giving him a quizzical look, but soon nodded.
“Yes, thank you,” he said feeling his face heat as his eyes fixated on Adrien’s mouth and his bright smile. And then he quickly drew his eyes away to stare intently at the new drink in front of him. “I’m not very good company, am I?” he asked, trying not to sound as miserable as he felt. This was horrible. He said he was enjoying himself and that he was liking everything, but he felt horrible and anxious and he was sure Adrien would be done with him after that night because he’d just spent a bunch of money on drinks and all Yuuri could do was sit almost paralyzed, watching everyone else.
“I’m sorry,” he apologized before Adrien could say otherwise.
It had taken some time and a lot of wheedling for Adrien to get Yuuri to accept his invitation. The success of it still rolled in his veins, Adrien undeniably and unhesitatingly pleased, even if Yuuri was looking more than a little out of place. The shirt wasn’t quite what he would have picked for the other to wear, but it matched his eyes and his hair, and it did look a little cute, so he couldn’t quite be upset about the wardrobe choices.
“Nothing!” Adrien said airily, waving away Yuuri’s wallet with a gesture of a slender hand. “You owe me nothing except your charming company.”
He was already a little buzzed, though not enough to be a problem, he thought. Adrien grinned at Yuuri, trying not to be too pleased by the fact that Yuuri had to raise his voice to be heard over the din of the club, and it meant that he could hear him better, something stupid and silly and happy about getting to hear the different tones of his voice. Adrien was getting very used to shy, soft spoken Yuuri that it felt like a privilege to hear the louder, less shy Yuuri now.
Adrien tugged on the hem of Yuuri’s shirt, rubbing the fabric between thumb and forefinger as though trying to determine what exactly it was. He was probably standing too close, but it was a byproduct of noise and the club and really, he didn’t care enough to move away, Adrien’s head jerking up at the apology.
He set his glass down with a small clink, then clapped his hands on either side of Yuuri’s face, palm to cheek.
“Stop apologizing, cutie,” said Adrien firmly. “You’re great company. And you’re gonna be even greater company once we actually get out there, now come on.”
He dropped his hands, seized ahold of Yuuri’s wrist, and tugged, turning to face him as he dragged him out onto the dance floor, a wide grin on Adrien’s face.
“Come dance with me.”
He still felt guilty that Adrien was the one buying all the drinks, even if he insisted that he owed him nothing. He would just leave some cash at Adrien’s place or something. He might never find it with all the mess in his apartment, but at least Yuuri would feel better about it.
There was a clink of a glass as it was set onto the table, and Yuuri barely had time to look up when Adrien’s hands clasped on either side of his face, wincing because one hand was significantly colder than the other from holding onto his drink, Yuuri’s eyes wide with surprise.
There was a long moment where Yuuri just stared at Adrien, not understanding how he could be so cheerful and encouraging. And then something Adrien said confused him. Get out there? What did that -
“W-what??” he sputtered in surprise as his wrist was grabbed hold of, and Adrien all but dragged him towards the dance floor with everyone else, Yuuri’s heart rate skyrocketing.
This was bad. This was very bad. He felt dizzy already, unable to tell if it was from the alcohol or from his anxiety or both or something else altogether.
“Adrien,” he tried to get his attention, barely able to raise his voice above a whisper, feeling shaky and overheated and not at all comfortable because there were too many people and everyone was too close and he couldn’t do this.
“I can’t. Adrien. Adrien,” he practically begged, his eyes wide and fearful, his breath coming quickly, almost erratically as he attempted to pull his wrist away. He wasn’t normally one to refuse a request, but he knew he couldn’t do this. It was too much. “Please.”
He wasn’t going to think about the warmth of Yuuri’s rapidly blushing face under his palms, because that was not a good thing to think about, even if Adrien’s mind kept trying to circle around back to it. He could, however, still feel the rapidfire pulse of Yuuri’s heartbeat under his fingers as he dragged him out towards the dance floor, the music thrumming loudly around them, people jostling on either side.
He heard his name - a flutter twisted in Adrien’s stomach, because he wasn’t actually sure whether Yuuri had called him by name before, and something about it pleased him more than it should have. He almost turned, didn’t, and then finally did, Yuuri’s face nearly making his heart stop.
Wordlessly, Adrien stepped forward, using the grip he had on Yuuri’s wrist to tug him back, Adrien stepping towards him. He looked a mixture of despondent and upset and concerned all at the same time, Adrien’s teeth worrying at his lower lip, his heart in his throat, because he hadn’t meant to make Yuuri look at him like that. They still didn’t even know each other all that well; but Adrien wanted to know him, to be friends, to talk.
To dance, if he could get him out there.
“I won’t make you,” he said, as loud as he could without actually shouting. “But - but I’d like to, if you want.”
And he wouldn’t force him, Adrien giving Yuuri’s wrist a squeeze.
“I want to dance with you, but only if you feel up to it.”
He felt like this the world was spinning, his heart pounding, his mind racing as people jostled into him. He wanted to close his eyes, but he knew they would still be there and that would probably make things worse. He couldn’t do this. He didn’t want to disappoint Adrien, but he couldn’t do this. He wasn’t ready for this. It was too much.
“I can’t,” he choked out, his free hand lifting to clutch at the fabric over his heart, able to feel it clearly through his chest, his breathing coming in short gasps now. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” he murmured over and over, knowing that Adrien wouldn’t be able to hear him, but unable to will himself to speak any louder.
It wasn’t that he didn’t want to be around Adrien, or even dance with him, as crazy as that sounded in his own mind because he didn’t even know how to dance and that was just one more thing he would do to disappoint this man who was so kind to him with absolutely no reason to be.
“Please,” he said, feeling dizzy to the point that he needed to sit down or get fresh air or both or just hide in a corner and catch his breath.
A little more forcefully than before, Yuuri twisted his wrist away from Adrien and took a few steps back, jumping in fright as he got jostled by the other dancers, his eyes still wide as he stared at Adrien.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he murmured again with a small shake of his head. He turned then, trying to figure out the fastest way to get out of that crowd.
He could almost see the world spinning in Yuuri’s eyes; the growing panic, the rising - fear? Was it fear? It was hard to tell; Adrien had always been okay with crowds, okay with people, okay with the loudness and the chaos and the clamor of voices and the rhythmic beat of the music in his ears. So okay with it, in fact, that it was hard to believe there were still people who existed who were not okay with it.
Yuuri was one of those people.
Adrien’s mouth opened as Yuuri’s hand wrenched from his, the loss smarting, an expression of mingled hurt and confusion flickering across his face - but no, he couldn’t be hurt over this. He couldn’t be upset that Yuuri was not the same as he was, that Yuuri could not handle the same things that he could handle. Adrien was still getting to know him; he couldn’t just assume that just because he was okay with something, that everyone would be.
It was hard. His mind did not want to accept it, and yet he had to, for Yuuri’s sake.
Adrien pushed through the crowds, shoving past people, and then he was at Yuuri’s side again, and he found his wrist easily, fingers wrapping around. Without a backwards glance, he tugged Yuuri forward, forming a path when there was none, elbowing people in the ribs if they didn’t move fast enough.
It took a little bit of effort, but he finally made it - not outside, but to a back secluded hallway that Adrien only knew about because he was friends with someone who worked at the club. All of the alleyways were too skeevy, and the front was too crowded with people wanting to get in, but the back hallway was a discreet door in a corner marked Staff Only and led to a private set of dressing rooms rarely used for when there were special events.
The closed door muted the music, even if it didn’t fully deafen it. Adrien turned back to Yuuri, still holding onto him.
“Better?” he asked.
Yuuri had no idea where he was going. He felt as though he was in a daze, the flashing lights in the darkness disorienting him even more than he already felt. He kept bumping into people and things in his haste to escape, stumbling into a table and nearly crumpling to the floor as he tried to breathe.
He hadn’t made it very far when someone’s hand found his wrist again, and Yuuri let out a startled yelp that was lost to the noise of the club, turning with wide, frightened eyes to see Arien was by his side once more. And then he was pulling him again, but away from the crowds, away from the people.
Finally, blessedly, Adrien led him through a back hall and into a room, the door closed behind him. It was darker and quieter there, the rolling bass still felt and heard, but not pulsing through him and dizzying him like it had inside the actual club. It wasn’t even the music or the darkness that bothered him. It was how many people there were, all shouting to each other, all reaching to touch and grab and… and Yuuri didn’t think he could ever be comfortable around so many people who were like that.
He breathed in as deeply as he could, not answering Adrien right away, but eventually he nodded his head, his eyes slipping shut. Even without the lights turned on, it wasn’t completely dark in there. There was still light coming in through the window from the streetlight outside. He took several moments to just try and catch his breath and let the rapid pulse of his heart fade.
Vaguely, he wondered if he was drunk. He’d had more to drink that night than he ever had before. Even though he’d been old enough to drink when he was overseas, he prefered non-alcoholic beverages. The ones Adrien gave him hadn’t tasted bad, which was why he’d had more than one, but…
“Thank you,” he finally said, glad that he didn’t have to raise his voice to be heard, although now that he wasn’t being shaken so much by the music, it was easier to notice how he was shaking, his wrist trembling in Adrien’s grasp. “I’m sorry… I’m not… very good company, am I?” he mumbled again, opening his eyes but unable to look up at Adrien, his face overheated as he thought about how pathetic he was for not being able to handle what so many others could.
He waited, fidgeting, because he’d never been good at holding still - something that had gotten him in trouble multiple times in school all while growing up. Adrien rocked back on his heels, not entirely aware that he hadn’t let go of Yuuri’s wrist yet, the beat of the music almost in time to the carefully slowing pulse of Yuuri’s heart that was pressing against the tips of his fingers.
Really, if this had been anyone else, he could have walked away. He probably would have, in an annoyed flounce.
But Yuuri was not anyone else. Yuuri was…
Adrien didn’t want to say different. It sounded embarrassingly cliche, even inside of his own head, his thoughts inwardly cringing away from the very idea of it. But Yuuri was...what was a better word? Fragile, or perhaps...no, not quite fragile, gentle was another word. He was quieter than Adrien, less excitable than Adrien, more withdrawn than Adrien, and maybe that was why Adrien kept pushing so much, and kept trying so hard. He was not used to someone like Yuuri, and that just made him more and more curious.
It was hard to admit, because it made him sound a little desperate. Adrien reeled it in, taking a breath.
“You’re fine company,” he insisted, because this was also perfectly true. “So you’re not a big fan of crowds, that doesn’t make you terrible company.”
He lapsed into silence for a moment, still fidgeting, and then his face brightened.
“Yuuri,” said Adrien, “Will you dance with me?”
He felt hazy, especially now that he had very little to distract him. The music dulled, the lights not flashing in a way that made him anxious just by being there, and Adrien was there. He had no reason to be, and in fact, Yuuri was positive that Adrien would probably be happier spending his evening with someone else.
Even as Adrien told him that he was fine company, Yuuri had a difficult time believing it. Adrien was a kind, gentle soul who only wanted to make people happy. Yuuri was just, well, making things difficult.
Yuuri’s eyes snapped up at the sound of his name, and he stared at Adrien, his eyes still wide but not quite as fearful any more. If anything they were a bit glazed over, his breathing finally slowing, and his heart down to a more reasonable beat.
And then Adrien asked him to dance, and Yuuri felt as though his heart stopped entirely. Not because of the idea of dancing with him, but that bright smile and obvious care and concern he had for Yuuri made Yuuri wonder what exactly he was getting himself into. Because he shouldn’t want to dance with this man whom he barely even knew. He shouldn’t want to get close to him, because something would be bound to force him away.
“I… don’t know how,” he mumbled, his face darkening more in embarrassment as he lowered his eyes, his hand still clutching at his chest. “I would, but,” he heard himself say, knowing that he was agreeing to the request, but not knowing what Adrien would say to the fact that he didn’t know what he was doing.
He knew he’d surprised Yuuri with the question, but this time Adrien wasn’t going to back down. They’d come to the club to dance - at least, Adrien had - and while that had sort of floundered, he was determined to make the best use of their time. He wasn’t about to go home so easily, and besides, he wanted to have fun. The alcohol was sizzling through his veins, not quite drunk, but not quite sober either, Adrien rocking back and forth on his heels, an expectant look on his face.
“Yuuuuri,” Adrien said, drawing out the name, because it was fun to say. He took a step closer, the expression on his face shifting into a more plaintive one, almost a pout except not quite, his fingers tightening around Yuuri’s wrist. Adrien swung their hands a little, swaying back and forth.
“Come on,” he cajoled, and a part of him thought he should probably stop before he made a fool out of himself, but that had never stopped Adrien before, and it didn’t stop him now. He flashed a wide grin at Yuuri, then sidled around behind him before he could stop himself. One hand went up to Yuuri’s chest, drawing the hand there down and away, while the other retained its grasp, so that now Adrien held both of Yuuri’s wrists at his sides.
Adrien leaned over him, grateful for the fact that the disparity in their heights was only a few inches, which made it easy to speak into Yuuri’s ear.
“Please? I’ll teach you.”
There was a voice in the back of his head telling him this was dangerous, for a number of reasons, but especially because he couldn’t bring himself to reject Adrien. At least not completely. Not when he looked so very handsome, with a smile that was enough to stop anyone in their tracks, and a sort of stubborn persistence that wasn’t annoying, nor did it make Yuuri feel uneasy. Maybe obligated? But when did Yuuri ever not feel obligated to do something when he was asked so nicely.
He swallowed thickly, the beat of his heart picking up speed as Adrien moved around behind him and took hold of his wrist, drawing it away from his chest. Yuuri shivered, heat rising in his face as Adrien spoke into his ear, feeling his hot breath fan across the side of his face. He didn’t know if he was drunk, but he was definitely not able to focus on things as easily as usual.
“Okay,” he finally said, very hesitantly because he was sure he was not going to be good at this. They could still hear the music that permeated through the entire building, so it wasn’t like they were standing there in complete silence, although it was a much more reasonable volume.
“Teach me,” he mumbled, his heart in his throat, barely able to get out the words in more than a whisper.
Score.
Adrien felt a thrill of triumph in his veins at the hesitant agreement, because even if it was hesitant, it was still a yes. The words were soft spoken, quiet, barely audible above the thrumming beat of music, but Adrien was close enough that he could hear Yuuri, the whispered teach me making his stomach do a few flips.
Adrien’s fingers loosened their grasp on Yuuri’s wrists, sliding up over his forearms, then came to rest, lightly, on his hips. He took a minute step closer, their bodies not quite touching, but not quite apart either, giving Yuuri room to move, space in case he needed it, though his head was still bent low so that he could speak without yelling.
“Just - listen,” said Adrien softly, and his lips barely skimmed the shell of Yuuri’s ear, a ghost touch, barely there. He moved his own hips, swaying back and forth to the heavy techno beat that could still be heard reasonably well, Adrien’s fingers fluttering, pressing a tiny bit harder in an attempt to guide Yuuri.
“It’s easy. Just shift, side to side. Don’t think too hard about it.”
His lips curved up into a smile, a grin.
“I know you’re already thinking too hard about it, Yuuri. Stop that.”
This was okay. This was okay. Adrien was just going to teach him how to dance, that was all. It was just dancing. It wasn’t rocket science, although Yuuri thought that might be preferable. He could do this, it wasn’t complicated, just try to not screw up.
He shuttered out a breath as Adrien’s hands slid over his arms and to his hips, wondering if it would be better for him to hold his breath because then it wouldn’t be as obvious that he was still trying to keep himself calm. It wasn’t Adrien, he knew. It wasn’t the close proximity or the touch of his hands or the feel of his lips against his ear that had Yuuri’s eyes fluttering. It wasn’t Adrien, but instead knowing how he just as likely to screw up and ruin everything.
Yuuri wasn’t sure what to do with his hands. He felt like they should be somewhere, but he didn’t know where, so he kept them down by his sides, purposefully not trying to touch Adrien’s hands in any way as he tried to guide him along to the beat of the music.
The breath he was holding didn’t last long, and he let it out in an embarrassed, sharp exhale when Adrien pointed out that he was thinking too hard about it already. He shifted slightly, making an attempt to glance up at Adrien to try and see his obviously teasing expression, but that was probably a bad idea because he turned his face right into Adrien’s lips that had been barely skimming against his ear.
He tensed and made an awkward attempt at ducking away in his embarrassment because naturally he would do something like that, but also had no desire to pull away completely, just… keep his head down or something. He would just… close his eyes and try to think about the music. And now how it felt to have Adrien’s hands tentatively on his hips, or the feel of his breath or soft lips against his face, or how he smelled or anything like that.
It was easier said than done.
He could feel the tension in Yuuri; a palpable thing, anxiety coiling through the air. But Adrien was determined to make him forget that, determined to make him think of something else, determined to make him let go of whatever fears and uncertainties and hesitancies he might have and just - dance.
That was one of the best things about dancing, after all.
The exhale was heard; Adrien’s lips curved up into a smile, and then Yuuri had turned, and his face was too close too close, because Adrien could have counted the thick lashes that ringed his anxious eyes, lips grazing his temple where Yuuri had moved into, unknowingly. He felt something in his stomach twist, and then let go, Adrien’s heartbeat quickening, the alcohol making his blood sing.
His hands tightened a little on Yuuri’s hips. Adrien took the smallest of steps forward, not even a step, more a shuffle, and his chest brushed against Yuuri’s back, a fleeting thing that took his breath away. Everything felt heightened, somehow; maybe it was the alcohol, or maybe it was the music, or maybe it was Yuuri, or maybe it was a combination of all of these things.
Adrien pushed at Yuuri’s hips, guiding them more securely, less lightly, nudging him into a rhythm that would suit.
“Don’t think,” he said softly, and his voice came out quieter than he had intended, lacking some of his usual bright, airy tone, low and unconsciously intimate. “Just - move. Side to side. It’s just you and me, there’s no one else to impress or to think about. Listen to the music.”
His lashes lowered, Adrien’s lips grazing Yuuri’s ear again, unintentionally, his pulse rising.
“Listen and move.”
Was he supposed to feel like this? Supposed to feel light and fluttery and as though the whole world was just… no longer there? He could feel Adrien’s chest against his back, and he thought he could feel the beat of Adrien’s heart against him, or maybe it was just his own, because it too was fast.
He wasn’t sure, but Adrien also didn’t seem like he was going to be giving up on him. He was still holding onto his hips, trying to prompt him to move one way and then the other. Just listen to the music. Don’t think. It was just him and Adrien and no one else.
Yuuri wondered again, though his daze, if this was how he was supposed to be feeling. Slowly, still cautiously because he wasn’t sure what was right or not, he let his hands lower from where they were held out and away from himself and Adrien, placing them very lightly over Adrien’s slender hands, his own fingers still trembling with nervousness.
Just listen and move, Yuuri reminded himself, letting his eyes finally slip shut, allowing Adrien to continue to guide him, not even realizing he was moving on his own until he was, everything but the music and the feel of Adrien’s chest and hands and lips and breath taking over his mind.
He let his head fall back a little as he let the haze of everything wash over him, dizzily resting his head against the side of Adrien’s neck and jaw as he spoke quietly into his ear, the alcohol making it easy not to question if maybe he was getting a little too close.
It was the alcohol. That had to be the reason why Adrien was feeling a little dizzy; why his pulse seemed to keep rising, until it was a flutter in his neck, why his heart seemed to be in his throat.
It was the alcohol that made him draw a sharp intake of breath when Yuuri’s hands came to rest over his, Adrien’s mouth feeling dry, his eyes flickering down to see, tentative fingers trembling against his own. The nervousness was endearing; he wanted more of it, but he also wanted the comfort and gentleness that he knew could be there; he wanted Yuuri to give in, and slowly, very slowly, he was.
One of Adrien’s hands shifted, ever so slightly, index finger sliding over Yuuri’s, a slight tangle of fingers. Yuuri had let his head fall back, and Adrien stepped forward to catch him, and now there was no space at all between them, not really, Yuuri’s back against his chest, his hair brushing against Adrien’s neck and -
-and this was dangerous. Adrien felt a rush of - something - he wasn’t sure what, sliding through his veins, adrenaline mixed with alcohol mixed with excitement mixed with a lot of other twisting, confusing emotions. A part of him was saying stop this - the more reasonable, sane part of him, but Adrien couldn’t think about that, not when everything else was veritably screaming at him to keep going.
His hand shifted again, and Adrien took ahold of Yuuri’s hand, guided it gently up and back, so that Yuuri’s arm was wrapped around Adrien’s neck behind him, Adrien’s fingers sliding along his elbow, down his side, then onto his hip again.
“Hold onto me,” he breathed, and it came out huskier than intended, almost a rasp. Adrien’s hips moved in tandem with Yuuri’s, though they weren’t quite touching yet.
He was feeling more dizzy now than he had before, and Yuuri was happy to blame the alcohol because that was an understandable explanation. He didn’t need to know that his heart was fluttering in his chest, or his breath was hitching with every small movement, or that Adrien’s touch and voice was sending shivers down his spine, making him crave more.
More of what, even Yuuri wasn’t sure, but he didn’t pull away when he felt Adrien’s fingers slip over his own, or when he lifted his hand up to guide it back behind his neck. Yuuri hesitantly slid his fingers along the back of Adrien’s head, though his perfectly kept hair. And they were closer now than ever before, his hands still guiding Yuuri along to the beat of the music, and Yuuri was finally letting himself go, finally allowing himself to just feel the pulse that shook the walls and embedded into his very blood.
Hold onto me.
The request made him shudder, his fingers automatically tightening, grasping at Adrien’s hair for a moment before letting go again, sliding his short nails down the back of his head and neck until he could hold on as he was told. He could feel the pulse of Adrien’s heart under his fingers, which fluttered lightly against his skin. His hand gripped tighter to Adrien’s at his hip, leaning with his back against him, dizzily tilting his head back to try and catch a glimpse of Adrien’s expression, before letting his eyes fall shut once more, his head still against Adrien.
“Am I doing okay?” he asked, barely recognizing his own voice as he spoke, still soft and quiet, but there was something else there. His heart was still racing, but it wasn’t in the panicky sort of way he was used to. This was something different, but he didn’t understand how.
On the other side of the door, hundreds of people were crammed into the club, crushed together in a fray of excitement and talk and drink and dance. But here, on this side of the door, it was just the two of them - just him and Yuuri, slowly dancing, the music pounding around them, not deafening as it would have been if they’d been on the dance floor - but just loud and muted enough to work, to move to.
The slide of Yuuri’s fingers, tentative and searching, along the back of his neck made Adrien shiver, his lips parting slightly. He felt them tighten, and then they scraped lightly back down, a shudder passing through Adrien again, because it was -
-it was something. It made him feel lightheaded, dizzy with the desire to hear more of that softspoken voice, uncertain and thick with emotions that Adrien didn’t fully understand.
His own voice felt hoarse, Adrien’s throat dry as he breathed out a barely audible ”Yes.”
More than okay. It felt - more.
The music was shifting, changing. Adrien’s hand - the one that was not currently tangled with Yuuri’s - slid a little on Yuuri’s hip, and then, as the beat picked up, Adrien’s arm wound around Yuuri’s waist and jerked him abruptly back, so that they were tight together, body against body, the buzz of alcohol a heady rush of adrenaline in Adrien’s veins now, thrumming hotly, filling his senses.
He turned his head, just a little, and lips brushed over the curve of Yuuri’s ear, breath fanning across his cheek, and he should say something, anything -
Adrien couldn’t think of a single damn thing to say, his eyes falling half-lidded, his hips now pressed securely against Yuuri’s from behind, his chest tightening with every movement and it was dangerous and yet -
I don’t want to stop, I want -
He felt both dazed and wonderful and surely it was the alcohol for both himself and for Adrien, because there was no way Adrien would have put up with him and his inexperience and his anxiousness around crowds otherwise, right? Because Adrien was bright and cheerful and could be with anyone he ever wanted, but he was with Yuuri for that moment.
And there was something about that thought that made Yuuri not want to give it up, his fingers tightening over Adrien’s hand and against his neck. He drew in a startled gasp as Adrien’s arm wound around his waist, pulling him tight against him, the rhythm of the music picking up, making it, surprisingly, easier for Yuuri to move to, especially with how Adrien was holding onto him.
Yuuri wondered if he should feel uncomfortable, his back and hips pressed up against Adrien, his arm securely around his waist to keep him in place as they moved together to the music.
“Adrien,” he let out a soft breath, his voice thick and throat dry and he… he forgot what he was going to say… Or maybe he wasn’t going to say anything in the first place, he wasn’t sure. Maybe he just wanted to say Adrien’s name in his dizzied state. He could feel Adrien’s breath against his cheek, making him shiver, something fluttering inside him that he was not at all used to. In fact, if he wasn’t dazed by alcohol he would be pretty darn confused about everything he was feeling.
Dancing… wasn’t so bad, he supposed. Neither was being there with Adrien.
It was just dancing, that was it. It was just dancing, this was how people danced at clubs, this was how it felt when you were drunk and you were at a club and you wanted to dance. It had nothing to do with the press of Yuuri close, the sharp intake of breath that made Adrien’s heart stutter and almost stop. It had nothing to do with the way Yuuri moved, subconsciously matching Adrien’s rhythm, fingers sliding against Adrien’s neck in a way that had goosebumps breaking out, a shiver chasing its way up and down Adrien’s spine.
It had nothing to do with the breathless, thick way that Yuuri breathed out his name, like it was something reverent, like it was something good. Adrien caught the flutter of those lashes, felt the shudder and he pressed himself as close as possible now, because he couldn’t help it, because he was moving on his own, an arm securely around Yuuri’s slender waist, his other hand still on Yuuri’s hip, trapped beneath Yuuri’s free hand.
Adrien’s head dropped a little lower, his breathing coming out faster, like his pulse, skating across the bare, flushed skin of Yuuri’s exposed throat. His hand shifted, nudged the hem of Yuuri’s shirt, just a faint, fleeting touch that left Adrien oddly dissatisfied, because he wanted more.
His mouth pressed against Yuuri’s neck, not a kiss, just a press of lips, a breath - or two - or three - or more - hissing out across skin. Adrien’s back brushed the door behind him, and he took a step back, hitting against it, pulling Yuuri with him, tight so that he could keep the lack of space between them, Adrien’s hips moving with Yuuri’s, his sweat dampened hair sticking to his temple - and -
s**t. s**t. He was -
Adrien froze, pressed up against the door, Yuuri pressed up against him as the music ebbed and rose like the tide around them. His lips were still against Yuuri’s neck, Adrien’s heart pounding hard against his ribcage, and he swallowed painfully hard, feeling the heat rising in his own cheeks - and other places and -
s**t.
There was a moment in which he said nothing, his chest rising and falling against Yuuri’s back, Adrien staying where he was and not wanting - not daring - to move just yet.
He opened his mouth, not sure what to say, exactly, and then whispered, a little hoarsely,
“Well? Better?”
More so than the alcohol, Yuuri found that Adrien’s breath against his neck was undeniably intoxicating, making him dizzy, shivers running down his spine at the press of Adrien’s mouth against his neck. He tried not to think about it, and instead just move with the music, with Adrien’s hips against his own, and the heavy rise and fall of his chest against his back.
What surprised him most of all was that he didn’t feel uncomfortable. He felt strangely safe with Adrien’s arm around him and on his hip, his head down against his neck. He knew he should be more cautious, but Adrien hadn’t done anything to make him feel threatened. He never had, and that was probably why Yuuri was allowing himself to let his guard down.
“Yes, thank you,” he mumbled as he heard Adrien whisper, his breathing settled down to a more relaxed pace, even if his heart still pounded away. He still trembled every now and then, but it wasn’t from nerves, or at least he didn’t think it was.
But there was something else that Yuuri couldn’t quite understand, especially as he felt Adrien freeze. Carefully, Yuuri twisted around in his hold, pulling his arm away from where it rested against his shoulder, but only so he could lift his hand back up to press his fingers against Adrien’s cheek, marveling over the heat and the somewhat concerned expression on Adrien’s face, but Yuuri couldn’t figure out why.
“Adrien?” he mumbled worriedly, dizzily leaning into him still, his hand still holding tight to Adrien’s even as he tried to turn to look up at him. “Are you okay?”
He really, really needed to get himself under control, but it was hard to make his thoughts get in the proper order when all Adrien was aware of was just how close Yuuri was, how little space there was between them. How soft his hair was, voice still low, but edged with a sort of roughness that had Adrien’s mind spinning out of control with a dozen extremely inappropriate thoughts that he absolutely should not have been having.
It was worse than bad, it was terrible.
Adrien’s lips were still parted, and his pulse gave an absurd leap as Yuuri’s hand slid across his cheek, fingers achingly gentle as they pressed to the flushed skin. Adrien had to reel in the ridiculous desire to catch that hand, instead shifting the one that was under Yuuri’s hand until he had both arms wrapped around Yuuri’s waist from behind, half to keep him from trying to turn around, and half just to keep him there.
“I’m - yes, I’m okay,” he said quickly, and he’d lifted his head so that his lips weren’t pressed against Yuuri’s neck anymore, though he was already regretting this loss. Adrien tilted his face ever so slightly more into Yuuri’s questioning fingers, easing out a breath.
And then, because he couldn’t help it, he buried his face into Yuuri’s shoulder, eyes squeezed shut, arms tightening a little.
“Are you okay?”
As soon as Adrien pulled his other arm away from him and wrapped it around his waist, Yuuri stopped trying to turn, but instead glanced quizzically over his shoulder at him, still marveling in the feel of his heated face, wondering if maybe it was the alcohol that was causing him to turn red like that. Because even in his haze, Yuuri couldn’t imagine it being because of him, or if it was, he was sure it was because he was doing something he shouldn’t be doing.
Yuuri let out a small, surprised breath as Adrien’s arms tightened around him, his face lowered against his shoulder, his hand moving to place on top of Adrien’s head now that he was no longer able to touch his face and feel the heat beneath his fingertips. Instead, he gently slid his fingers over Adrien’s scalp and through his hair, nails lightly and absently scratching. His other arm laid over both of Adrien’s around his waist.
“Yes,” he mumbled, still feeling dazed, his heart racing. “I’m sorry about before,” he added, feeling guilty that he completely freaked out when they were clearly supposed to be there to have fun.
“Thank you for this, Adrien,” he whispered, his voice still hoarse and his throat still dry as he leaned his head against Adrien’s as he rested his face against his shoulder.
Hazily, he knew this was dangerous, getting close like this. He knew it wouldn’t last, he knew one or both of them would be hurt in the end. But he also didn’t want to let it go. He wanted this moment to last a little longer, because for the first time in such a long, long time, Yuuri felt comfortable and safe. He wasn’t sure what Adrien was doing to make him feel that way, but he did.
Even if Adrien didn’t want anything to do with him after that night, it would still be a good memory and feeling to think back on.
kuropeco
Fin!
