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In quiet moments, Colin thought about the massive Captain he'd helped to escape that prison, about the horrific thing that Thraen had done to him, and he wondered how the man had managed, how he'd healed - if he had. He liked to believe that Titan survived and was in good health, that he didn't have nightmares about what had happened...though that was a very small chance. Who wouldn't have nightmares about being flayed alive?

And so began the process of trying to get into contact with the massive Negaverse officer. Messages - cryptic and otherwise - were left in likely places, people were spoken to for leads, and the groundwork laid. It took much time before any returns were to be had, but finally a meeting place and time had been arranged: they were to meet in the warehouse district of an evening. Less likely to be bumped into by other powered folks, but still prime ground for either of them to fight or flee if that seemed necessary.

Of course, Aegir was early so that he could set the large box he'd brought down and unpack it: he'd mentioned that he had no intention of fighting Titan, but he hadn't mentioned there would be a picnic, and yet there was. Some of the food was packaged individually - in case the captain felt he might poison him - but he'd also prepared grilled vegetable rigatoni and even some pumpkin spice latte tiramisu.

Food and drink was set to one side of the spread blanket, and Aegir knelt there, tapping his fingers against the cloth encasing his thighs as he awaited his guest. His phone said it would be a matter of minutes - if Titan were punctual - and he felt a frisson of of excitement and nervousness run through him. Will this be okay? What if he's angry with me? It was my fault Thraen hurt him. I don't want to have to fight Titan...hopefully it won't come to that.

Titanlåvenite's approach brought the usual drop to Aegir's stomach - and for one brief moment there was also panic for he associated the power signature of a General with the Eldritch Nightmare and not with Titan who, for all his size and terrible strength, the senshi found far more palatable. It took a moment to push the reflexive fear down, to smile and gesture slowly in greeting.

Bread and salt? Oh, yes. That's a traditional thing...I remember seeing it in a movie, I think. "A bit more, yes. I didn't know--" Aegir paused, absently running this fingers along the golden swirls over his knees, "--well, I didn't know many things. If you have allergies, if you'd sit with me." The last time they'd been in a position to break bread together, it had been under very different circumstances; perhaps this picnic was some sort of apology to assuage his guilt at having participated in the capture and torture of the Negaverse members.

"Sadly, I'm just your garden variety American." With a little French thrown in, but that didn't matter - he wasn't going to spill his family history to an officer of the Negaverse.

At least, not more than he'd already done previously. "Will you sit with me, Titan? If you would prefer, you could drain some of my energy before, though I give my word that I didn't call you out to fight."

As Titan folded himself down, Aegir's smile brightened with pleasure. He hadn't known, really, whether or not the officer would be willing to sit without having made assurances that there would be no senshi attack, and it pleased him very much that it was so unnecessary that even the General commented on it. "As ever, you hold stock in good faith and the strength of one's word."

Direct and to the point. What did he want?

"To make amends, I think. To try for a...friendly encounter on even terms. To see how you were doing. Thraen-" Aegir's smile drained, mouth setting to something full of disapproval and distaste. "Thraen caused you grievous harm and it was my fault. I wondered if you'd recovered." Close, but there was more than just concern that a human had been flayed; Aegir poured water into two cups from a bottle and offered his companion one.

"And...I wanted to see what I'd done by being an idiot. You and the others should never have been kept that way for that long. But you wouldn't have been tortured if not for me."

Thraen's name was like cold water on blistered skin, the distress it caused plain; he could only kick himself mentally for saying it - half because Thraen was a beloved (if sometimes cruel) part of his life and half because it was hard to see the great general so discomfited.

The weight that Titan put to addressing Thraen - never in name, only as That One - was telling. "You're kind to say that, but..despite the fact that we are at war and horrible things happen in war, it really is my fault. Had I not brought you to his attention, you would have made it through merely dehydrated and hungry, not...flayed and half dead."

'Skin grafts, well healed too.' Aegir reached out to touch before remembering that sort of thing was highly inappropriate when one wasn't in a relationship - folks generally weren't so kindly disposed to someone just reaching out to touch their very personal scars. "I'm glad I was able to carry you out. It was the least I could do." 'Sorry to have left you at the doorstep of the emergency room, less sorry to have called emergency for you once I was away.'

"It does." Eyes downcast, the senshi picked his cup up and turned it slowly in his gloved hands. "I'm...Aegir is meant to be support. I'm not really suited to being on the front-lines, let alone leading. I don't have the stomach for war. Every time I have to fight, I can't help but think about whether that person has friends, family. A lover. A life."

He lifted his gaze again to his companion, expression somber. "Doesn't it haunt you? What has this War cost you?" 'I'd wager it's been very dear, you've paid with flesh and what else? I can only imagine you had as much to lose as me.'

There was a sort of sick satisfaction in being allowed to wallow, though it thankfully wasn't something he often indulged in, or he would have been quite unbearable as a person.

Aegir had to think about the words Titan spoke as a return question - would it have been easier for him to fight in the War if he were being lead? Serious thought was warranted, and he offered food to the General while he considered it. "No." He said finally. "I think it'd be no easier if I were only following orders." If anything, it might be worse because then I'd have done these things by someone else's name and not my own. He was being careless with words in his wont to connect with his companion, and it was stupid to be like that, but he still...well, he'd often thought Titan brought Björn to mind...and after so long, he couldn't help but wonder if they were one and the same. Of course, thinking that made him feel stupid but he could not deny how oddly comfortable he tended to feel when interacting with the General. "It might even be worse...at least now I make the decisions myself."

Titan's reaction to his question was strange and distracted Aegir from the distressingly circular thoughts he'd been having. He couldn't but favor the General with a smile at his response, "I'm glad to hear you don't favor killing. Many officers seem to...and some of our side as well." Castor, for one. Thraen favored swift and violent means, if not straight out killing...and Aegir couldn't claim to be blameless there: he would have happily murdered to protect his loved ones - had, in fact, done so before.

"It's good to know that for all your strength you've the mind to know that death isn't a good outcome in all of this." He shifted a bit until he was sitting almost cross-legged, but with one leg drawn up quite high, as though he were stretching before dance. "It's been odd, for me. All of this. Knowing that the Negaverse is just...people trying to protect what they hold dear. Just like I am." It was an unpopular position and one that meant he butted heads with some of the other Order senshi from time to time.

Aegir pushed down at his knee until it was resting on the blanket, enjoying the feel of muscle stretching. "Tell me something about yourself? Not like, your name or anything just...if you'll humor me, I'd like to know something about you that isn't part of General Titan."

He probably thinks I'm a weirdo...he wouldn't entirely be wrong...

Being called a noble brought to mind previous occasion in cramped cell, of Björn's amazed reaction to Aegir's magic long ago. But he had to accept that there was no version of the Negaverse - of either side, really - that was purely light or dark. Nothing was so clear, so cleanly delineated for those involved. Had he not experience with some of the nastier officers? "Of course, you're right." Generalities aren't suitable in these settings, I can't afford to be so naive.

"I...have experience with several nasty officers. Moonstone. Umber. Schörl." He couldn't help the way his throat closed up over that hateful name, the way his fingers clenched around the healed scar she'd carved into his flesh. Titan's words served distraction, information to tuck away until it might prove useful - another reminder that for all their violence, they really were just people. Like Greek deities in mythos of old, they were as fallible as the humans they claimed dominion over.

Somewhere in Destiny City, Schörl dwelt as just another person. It was a chilling thought.

But not as chilling as 'There...isn't much. Not anymore.' Aegir knew the admission hadn't been made to garner sympathy, Titan's expression said it was something he hadn't thought overmuch about. Powered up almost all of the time? Does he live in that godforsaken space Caedus sent us to? No wonder he's all hard edges.

"I...have a life, still. Mostly." Was it bad form to say so? Aegir wasn't certain, but Titan had asked and deserved a truthful answer. "It's hard to balance both lives, and I'm not always very good at it, but I've managed to hold onto some of what I am, what I love." And even gained more, in the case of his team - though they were not always able to come together and some had left - and in friends. Like Titan, though he might have been puzzled to hear it, not being aware of the two minute requisite for friendship carried by the eternal senshi.

"Not everyone, not everything...but I've been lucky. Very lucky."

Aegir watched his companion processing the names he'd dropped, each still held bitter in his own mouth. The flat of tongue pressing up against roof of mouth like a sour candy, worrying nothing but the ghost of each officer, blotting out the flavor of what little he'd nibbled at. The taste of bitter and even blood grew sharper as he listened to the General speaking - they seemed to have entirely other ways of dealing with the War, which was fine. But the new perspective did make him think, once more, that perhaps he'd been left behind for the same reasons.

Reasons, he felt, were stupid as hell.

Not entirely wrong, mind, but stupid.

So he thought, but perhaps it was he that was in the wrong. Perhaps it was simply selfishness that kept him cleave to his family and friends, that allowed him to continue letting them live in densely populated spaces where the probability of attack or encounter were depressingly high. Aegir didn't like those sorts of thoughts - who would - but he accepted them as an outside view that must be given due. No matter how depressing.

"I...agree with you, to a point. It's selfish to want love with everything going on, to maybe put the ones you care about in danger by keeping them near just so you can draw strength from them. If I were stronger..."

Aegir gave a bit of a grin and leaned back, arms open in a wide gesture that might have been a shrug but was more a 'what can you do' than anything, "But I'm really not. And I'm already kind of used to my love not being easy or safe. I've learned to take what I can when I can, and to cherish it."

About the magic, he had no idea - it was annoying, it was a blessing. He wanted to reach through and see who Titanlåvenite really was - to confirm his hopes and fears - and wanted the whole lot to just up and go away. What use was magic anyway when semi-automatic weapons were abundant, as the General said?

"A year ago I would have said no and meant it, but yes actually. They won't come galloping to my rescue for some time yet."

And then, out of nowhere, "Can I try to pick up your hammer?"

His teeth were even, smile open, "You don't have to say it, General. It really is a selfish thing. Risky is the kindest way to describe the life I lead, even as a civilian. Not that I'm wild, but there's very little certain about my life. Even so, you could say I've always had a lot of believe in my own ability to handle whatever comes my way, so I'm not really worried about it. How that affects the others in my life..." He shrugged a little bit, not to dismiss concern, but as if to say that was perhaps the other party's burden in loving him.

"A lot of belief...yeah, it does take that." Aegir laughed, waiting with his body bent forward, elbows on knees, while the general parsed his question and answered.

"Really!? Awesome!"

The senshi scrambled inelegantly to his booted feet and moved carefully around the hammer. Probably lift it, hold it up? Not so sure. Swing it? Who knows. That thing is HUGE!

"If I end up falling over, you are more than welcome to laugh. There's a pretty big difference between us, size wise. I'm sure it will be hilarious." Aegir poked the weapon experimentally, pushing and pulling at the haft and feeling the solid weight of it. This is a good idea, right? Yeah, sure. He'd asked, so...might as well give it a shot.

A little test tug at the giant war hammer, because he wanted to know how hard this would be, and the senshi was rethinking his life choices - but only for a moment.

Quenton would be so disappointed in him.

At least Aegir rolled the hammer more at an angle before trying to dead lift the damn thing, which he did actually manage to do before letting it drop again where it would not break his toes - or any other object that mattered. "Whooo! That thing is heavy!" The senshi bent over, laughing, face red, and staggered over to the general, "Seriously - the hell do you use it so easy? Unfair, Titan. Unfair - I feel like I might die."

He dropped unthinking into Titan's lap, treating the officer of the Negaverse as though he were just another friend, laughter still coming in puffs.