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 Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 2:29 pm
"I intend to put an end to your inadequate lunches. Please stop by my office tomorrow evening. - A. Marcellus"
The note was so very shocking to find sitting on Shiloh's little cart the day before. He had just gone into an office nearby the judge's own, and began to clean when he heard footsteps disappear down the hall. As skittish as he was, he waited for the footsteps to fade away completely before he left the office in it's brilliant sheen of cleanliness. It was then where he discovered the note and all of it's demands and in an instant, panic had began to overwhelm the young lad.
More than a week had passed since the janitor had met the judge, and since that time, a quiet bit of calmness had come to Shiloh's world within the courthouse. He had not the courage to seek the judge out during the night, but instead of avoiding him as he had done before, he came by quietly to clean, engaging in small pleasantries before disappearing again. And when he happened to see the judge in the hallways he wasn't so quick to duck his head and hurry around the corner. No, he offered a shy, sweet smile and a small wave before going about his business. It was quiet and comfortable, far more pleasant than their initial meeting. But this... This note, this invitation, seemed to come out of the blue and reverted Shiloh back to his normal nervous wreck state.
Why was he all of a sudden asked to do this? What did the judge want from him? What prompted this? Should he dress up fancy? Are they going out? Should he bother trying to look nice at all, he was still at work after all and, while he didn't smell like crap, he was more than likely going to ruin any clothing he wore other than his work jumper. All these questions and more plagued his thoughts all the way up until he left for work. In the end, he decided that it would be silly to try to dress fancy. He would be cleaning toilets right after, so it would certainly be a waste.
And it wasn't as if it was anything more than a 'thank you' lunch, he managed to convince himself, pushing the very thought that the judge would want him around as anything more than brief but pleasant company out of his mind. Still, he wanted to at least seem a little neater than before and attempted to comb back his soft pink rose colored curls that often were left going wild. His efforts were for naught, and they seemed to just get curlier and curlier until his head was just a poofy mess, finally giving up and fixing his hair back to it's 'normal' state with a bit of water before rushing out to a bakery, then continuing on to work.
Time seemed to just inch on by as he waited for an appropriate period for lunch. In his mind he couldn't stop thinking about all the ways he could potentially embarrass himself again. Nothing could compare to him bursting into tears in front of the older man, but he was certain he was capable of doing something just as awful. A part of him wanted to back out, to cancel and just pretend the note was lost or something, but he couldn't bring himself to. How could he when the judge reached out to him and listened when he said his lunches were often very plain. No one else that he could remember listened to him like that except for his own family, and even then...
With a resigned sigh, Shiloh gathered his courage around midnight and made his way to the large oak doors that led to the judge’s office. And he stood there. A minute passed. Then another. And then a few more. Shiloh stood there for a long while, hand raising and falling while he tried allow himself to knock. In the end, he managed to simply grab the door and open it it, mortified that his mind had just completely forgotten knocking was a thing in that moment.
"H-hello sir.. I um... I brought cakes..." He held up the little pastry box he had grabbed before work, his hands visibly shaking from nerves and his eyes cast down to focus on the box rather than on the Judge before him. Maybe the cake could be a barrier between him and the judge if the older man decided he was angry at him for accidentally bursting in.
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Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 2:32 pm
Alexei had been sitting at his desk, slightly stooped and writing something rather intently. His eyes flicked up for the briefest second and he greeted, "Shiloh," but promptly returned his gaze to the paper. His hand moved rapidly as he continued to write; he did not say more, instead trying to finish his train of thought.
Only a few seconds passed and then he closed his pen and sat up a little straighter.
"I apologize, paperwork never waits," he said in explanation. Carefully he moved the stack of papers to the corner of his desk, freeing up some empty space before him.
He gestured for Shiloh to take a seat across from him. "Come, sit down. The last pastry you brought was delicious, thank you." He could do small talk, but at the core of his being, he was business-oriented and straightforward. "I neglected to ask before, do you have any allergies?"
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Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 2:37 pm
“Yes?” Shiloh’s response was instinctively a question, wondering if Alexei had a particular task for him. When no demands came, he stood in the doorway awkwardly, uncertain now if the Judge’s response was actually just a greeting. It was really hard to tell.
It was not until the judged beckoned him that he actually fully entered the room, closing the door behind himself. The panic and nervousness were slowly ebbing away, especially when the judge apologized to him this time.
“N-Not at all, sir! I completely understand! I’m good with all foods!” There were some he very much disliked, but he would not say, not if it could potentially insult the judge and his own preference. Time and time again Shiloh had dealt with his father’s own rather unpleasant tastes in cuisine, so even if there was something that offended his tastes, he would not complain. He had been trained not to, and to be grateful for anything that anyone would spare for someone as useless as himself.
He waited until the judge cleared a space and placed his little cake box in a small corner of it for later before taking a seat in the same seat he had been in before. Maybe this time he’d keep his tears to a minimum. So far so good, especially when a small, sweet smile came to him as his choice of sweets was praised.
“You really think so? This time I’ve grabbed a few different ones… Um… I know you like coffee, or I think you do… Uh, but I got tiramisu! It’s really good! And I’ve also got some strawberry short cake, a slice of their chocolate forest cake, and a slice of their apple pie! I’m not sure what you’d like so I did my best to get variety, I hope it’s okay.”
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Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 2:38 pm
"I like tiramisu," Alexei informed, reaching behind his desk to pull out what must have been a lunchbox. It was well insulated and, like everything else in his office, looked like it was professional--and expensive.
"I find myself catering towards a more bitter palate. Though, I suppose you likely don't share as much. I prepared a few things. If you don't like them," he looked at Shiloh sternly. "Tell me. Don't pretend. If I am to ensure you are eating a proper meal, if would serve you best to tell me which of it you enjoyed. Otherwise," he opened the lunchbox, "I'll just be wasting my time and you'll just be suffering. So."
He began to pull out a few carefully wrapped packages--a few in tupperware and a few in aluminum foil.
"I brought a few wraps. I thought those would be easiest, for starters. And they require no microwaving. So," he opened the aluminum foil, revealing two of each. "I thought we'd start with some roasted sweet potatoes, complete with caramelized onions and pesto, sprinkled with parmesan. It has portobello mushrooms and cherry tomatoes."
He gestured to the second set, "Cashew Chicken Salad. Lighter, obviously cashews and chicken. Mayonnaise, vinegar, sugar, sesame oil, Dijon mustard. Some green onions, clementines, red cabbage. I have Lo Mein noodles to sprinkle on them, but I wanted them to stay crunchy."
He slid over one of the tupperware containers.
Alexei was clearly doing his best to try and give Shiloh as much warning as to what he could expect from each item. He had three more tupperware containers and rested a hand over each of them to explain. "Dolmades, very bitter. Stuffed grape leaves. Half lamb, half ground beef, lemon juice. A lot of lemon juice. Rice, and a bit of garlic." The next container, "Biscuits, a guilty pleasure. Cheddar, parsley, garlic powder. Too much butter to be considered healthy, I will warn you." The last, "Fresh mozzarella, tomatoes, and chickpeas, marinated in balsamic vinegar and a little too much basil."
He opened all the containers and slid them over, producing napkins, two paper plates, and plastic cutlery. He had a thermos of coffee tucked away; he kept that for himself and poured a glass, though seemed to at least consider sharing. "Would you like some? It is incredibly bitter," he warned.
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Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 2:38 pm
Before Shiloh even had the chance to decide what he didn’t like and forced himself to eat it anyway, the judge caught him and gave him a stern look, to which he responded with with a small ‘gah, you caught me!’ smile and a little scratch of his nose. He would do his best not to lie.
It really, truly seemed like he didn’t have to. Everything here looked and smelled divine, far better than the pitiful cheese sandwich he had before. Honestly, the last time he could even remember seeing such delightful food was back when he spent some time with his cousins who all but forced fanciness don his throat. Not that he complained, anyway.
“Sir this is… This is far more than I could have asked for! You didn’t need to go through all this trouble…” As he went to say more, his stomach growled angrily at him, just daring him to deny such a wonderful meal. “I-I do appreciate it though! Honest! And it all looks superb, I don’t think there’s a single thing here I dislike.”
There, of course, was the internal struggle to let the judge eat first, as he was always taught that he was to eat last. That was just his roll, after all, beneath everyone else. To be the last one at anything always came so easily, it almost felt like it was the only thing he was good at. The judge didn’t need to know that. And he really did come off as the sort of gentleman who would let the lady go first. And Shiloh certain wasn’t the man here. A boy, maybe. So after a few awkward moments of waiting, Shiloh began to pile up his plate, taking just a bit before satisfied with his arrangement, shaking his head to refuse the coffee.
“No thank you, sir… I do not really desire any at this time. I’m alright with water.” He paused, looking at the plate he had before him with a little bit of everything on it. “I can’t imagine how much time you put into this… I hope you didn’t waste so much time on me, I promise I’ll enjoy it all.”
With the first bite of the sweetpotato wrap, Shiloh was in bliss, chewing thoughtfully and slowly, savoring how sweet yet savory the food was.
“S-Sir this is… This is incredible, thank you!”
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Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 2:39 pm
Alexei shrugged, as if indifferent to Shiloh fussing over him putting in such effort. "It was an endeavor I took upon myself. I know I had no obligation. But I wanted to."
He had poured himself his coffee and closed his eyes as he relished it. He hadn't expected Shiloh to want any, and secretly, he was grateful he hadn't been wrong.
He was slow to make his own plate, instead waiting to see what Shiloh took and what he liked. The faintest smile appeared on his face when Shiloh praised it. He nodded, finally allowing himself a bite as well. He had started with a biscuit and waited until he had chewed and swallowed to say, "Thank you. It was a time consuming effort, I confess, but it was necessary. You should never sacrifice the opportunity for a good meal if you can help it. I made enough that it will last me throughout the week. Cooking en masse saves time in the long run. And it isn't that hard, if you've got the time to devote to it. You know," he shrugged and took another bite.
"You deserve to eat well. You shouldn’t be settling for less."
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Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 2:40 pm
Shiloh continued to eat, his stomach’s angry growls finally calming down after a few moments of being filled, and before he realized it, most of his plate was gone. Everything had been so delightful and though he enjoyed every bite, it hardly lasted, and now he was trying to slow down, eating the mozzarella and tomato dish.
“It’s a little hard to expect more from your kitchen when it’s normally pretty bare.” He thought over what he said, before quickly continuing. “I-I just don’t um… I don’t really have much time to go food shopping… Well, it’s not even that… More like I forget. I forget to cook, forget to shop, forget to eat… I spend all my time either working or sewing. And I work every night, then go home in the morning and try to get enough sleep, wake up at 8ish and go to class for a few hours, and then go home for a few hours and sew until it’s time to do it again. But I really am grateful I can do this, so I try not to complain about it.”
His father often told him while growing up that he should be grateful for anything he was given. Food, a roof over his head, a job, an education… What right did he ever had to complain about his situation? People had it worse… Someone always had it worse.
“You’re very kind to think of me, but I am happy to just accept what I’ve earned. If I haven’t had the chance to make something more, then that’s my own fault.”
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Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 2:40 pm
Alexei tilted his head to the side as he listened, eating his food slowly.
"Fault? No," he mused. "The world is an unkind place. I can't say it's your fault. Fault would imply wrongdoing. All you've done is forgotten to shop. I can sympathize," he said, shrugging. "My job requires a certain level of dedication. It's easy to let it consume me. I forget to eat, to sleep. Coffee is hardly an adequate substitute, but it's not something I'm willing to give up."
He didn't know how personal this conversation was supposed to be, but he was always happier talking about someone else. He rarely divulged too much private information, but Shiloh wasn't very threatening. Especially not with the food on his cheek.
Alexei had been debating on if he should just ignore it and let Shiloh figure it out on his own, but when he realized he couldn't stop staring at it, he reached for a napkin. He folded it neatly and reached over his desk, carefully dabbing at the mess by the male's lip. When he was finished, he simply set the napkin down. It didn't seem like he planned to dwell on it; he finally continued speaking and asked, "What are going to school for?"
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Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 2:41 pm
It didn’t take long at all for Shiloh to completely finish his meal, any trace of it was gone except for a bit of food on his cheek. He felt it there and had moved his hand to clean himself up, but the judge seemed to reach him first. It was only a moment, fingertips slightly brushing his skin as the edge of the napkin dabbed his cheek. And he was close, so very close, Shiloh could nearly swear he cold feel the very heat that came off of him. And just like that, the judge was gone again.
Shiloh’s face and ears turned a bright, cherry red and he quickly looked down at his hands in an attempt to fight off the heat that seemed to engulf his head. The judge didn’t seem to say anything more about what he had just done… It meant nothing, he was certain. Yeah… It didn’t mean a single thing, nothing at all… I’m just a messy child, don’t think about, don’t think about it at all! He thought to himself. It made no sense otherwise that the judge would do such a thing. And he did just change subjects after all so…
“N-nothing!” He managed to squeak out, still trying to wrap his head around what the judge had done. Shiloh tried his best to focus on school… Whatever he could say about it at least. “I don’t… I don’t really have anything in mind… I’ve not found what I’m good at, or what I love doing that would actually get me a degree… I could show you list after list of classes I’ve taken, but they don’t really mean anything… I am okay with what I have in life right now… I don’t need anything more…”
The air felt awkward between them now, or at least it did on Shiloh’s side, and he grew quiet, fiddling with the utensil still in his hand. His thoughts went back to what the judge had said, and it sat uneasy with him...
“I-I wouldn’t say the world is entirely unkind… Certainly unfair at times, but we just have to focus on the good, I think. It’s a little too easy to get caught up in one’s head about how horrible it can be and completely ignore what good things happy. L-Like tonight! I think… I think it’s very much worth what time we may lose in another place to spend that time with each other… Not that your time isn’t important! I just… I haven’t really had many nice meals like this with someone new in a long time...”
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Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 2:41 pm
Alexei seemed thoughtful as he nodded; he was leaning back in his chair, clearly relaxed. If he was going to spend so much time in his chair, of course he was going to make sure he had the most comfortable one money could buy.
He was mulling over Shiloh's words and finally shrugged. "I suppose that's true. It isn't that there's not good in the world. Just that I spend so much time staring down the bad it," he shrugged. "It's overwhelming. And people are just getting so blind to it. They can ignore the harassment of a homeless man on the street, they can ignore the domestic abuse of the couple next door, ignore a beaten dog. Close their eyes, close their ears."
He didn't want Shiloh to dwell on those things; for some reason, he just assumed the man was too soft. For everyone he chastised for ignoring the evils of the world, he didn't want Shiloh to think about them.
"But there is good," he affirmed. Sometimes it was hard to come by. Sometimes you had to take matters into your own hands to make it happen. Like tonight.
"Tonight was nice," he agreed. "We should do it again sometimes. It would seem that you're one of the few people around here who doesn't provide conversation that upsets my stomach. I get tired of the pretentiousness," he said, rolling his eyes. "Sort of comes with the profession, though. Unfortunately."
There was a reason he didn't keep many friends. Hard to meet people you wanted to spend time with when everyone around you was a snake.
He was quick to dismiss the topic again, though. "You're still young, right? You've got time to make up your mind. Not everyone knows what they want to do. Sometimes you can't plan it, sometimes you have to reach a point in your life where it just happens."
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Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 2:42 pm
Unfortunately for Alexei, it was way too easy for horrible thoughts to plague Shiloh’s malleable mind. He thought of that homeless man, of the person subjected to abuse, of the poor dog all on it’s own and beaten. Each thought hurt, and he looked down, feeling a bit helpless, knowing that right now, at this time there was nothing he could do. And it wasn’t as if the things the judge mentioned were real at this time. He hated how it was so easy to just focus on the bad, and to him, it made sense why some people turn a blind eye. Sometimes the world was just too hard to focus on, otherwise that helplessness came again and gripped his heart for a long, long time.
Shiloh wasn’t about to tell the judge that… Not when he was saying how he liked him as a conversational partner..Were he to defend the people that the judge seemed so vehemently against, he wouldn’t like him anymore. That’s what his gut was telling him today.
He tried, instead to focus on the very obvious change of subject again, one of which he was certainly grateful for.
“I just really, truly want to help people… If I’m helping by providing a clean space for people to change their babies, or a clean place to destress during a break between parts of a trial, then I’m a little proud of that… A-and when you see the smile of a little sick kid getting a toy that you made for them…” A hand came up and rested against his heart and a small, warm, and sweet smile came to his lips. “I don’t know too much about truly helping a person, but it really feels amazing. It’s a small thing, and maybe they won’t remember it later, but it’s nice…”
He paused for just a moment, feeling as if the conversation was very much still focused on him. Though Shiloh didn’t mind, he wanted to learn more about Alexei… About his new friend. “When did you know what you wanted to do? Did you decide on it for yourself or your family? I-If you don’t mind me asking... ”
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Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 2:43 pm
"I have found," Alexei said after a short pause, "That small things are not always so small. It is, in fact, the little things that keep us grounded. Do not belittle any act of kindness. A small gesture can mean the world, especially to those in need."
He shrugged; he was procrastinating on answering but doing so delicately, so as not to be so obvious.
He reached for his coffee and raised the mug to his lips. "I decided I wanted to be a lawyer when I was fourteen years old." There wasn't much reason to keep some things secret, not when they'd printed the important details of your life in the papers for the past fifteen years.
He closed his eyes and sipped at the coffee. "My father was a district attorney. You don't make a lot of friends in that position. He was a well liked man, but" he shrugged. "Not well liked enough. He had a lot of enemies, and they got the upper hand. Caught him while he was leaving work, and let him know how the felt."
Alexei opened his eyes and seemed thoughtful; he did not put his coffee down.
"I'm quite convinced the trial was rigged. The judge was in someone's pocket. The prosecutor offered a plea bargain for a lesser crime. He plead guilty to involuntary manslaughter and the judge accepted, despite copious amounts of evidence that the attack was premeditated and intentional. It was preposterous, an absolute injustice and mockery of the legal system. My father’s killer was a free man before I graduated high school."
Finally, he set his mug down.
"I just didn't really think that was fair."
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Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 2:44 pm
As best he could, Shiloh sat there before the judge and listened. Immediately, he could feel his heart began to ache much more so than just a few moments earlier. He knew the pain of losing a parent, but not like this. Not in such a violent manner, not with such tragedy surrounding it and any mention of getting some sort of remediation in the situation being completely swept away.
He truly, truly wanted to let the judge know he could even somewhat relate to his loss, but it didn’t feel right. The judge was finally talking about himself, so to go around and turn the subject back to focus on Shiloh… It felt wrong to even think about. Instead he sat quietly, doing his best to choose his next words carefully.
“I… Cannot say with certainty how your father must think of you now. To push past all that’s happened and still work towards being a lawyer as your father was is more impressive than you could even imagine to me. It says so much about you, the way you continued to push and strive towards your goals, to get where you are now. My words might not mean much, given I’m just a janitor, but I feel proud to see you there, on the other side of the desk, with the title Judge.” He struggled a little bit, trying to see what would be best to say next. If he were his cousin, Lily, he’d put his arms around the judge and let him know he could trust and relax around him. But was that even true? Shiloh could swear it up and down the street, but would anyone believe him..?
“I um… I want to be your friend, sir. I-If that’s okay. I don’t want to get in the way, or get on your nerves but… We both could use one, I think… I hope that’s not too bold, sir! I just... “ He took a deep breath, squeezing his eyes shut. “I like your company a lot! You are hardworking and considerate and I-I’m sure that your life is super stressful and I just want to help in any way I can, even if it’s just being an ear to chat to sometimes! A-and I don’t want nothing from this either! I mean, I want to be your friend, but t-that’s all, I swear!”
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Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 2:44 pm
Alexei leaned back in his chair as if he had a heavy burden to consider, and yet, the smile that blossomed on his face was faint and relaxed.
"I don't much need or care for praise, but your words are endearing and kind. I appreciate them. And your friendship. You're cut from a different cloth than those around me. It is refreshing."
And tedious, in a way that Alexei did not mind. Treading on eggshells so as not to offend the younger man was a task, but one he found he did not mind when it yielded such raw honesty, and such pure response.
"I would not turn away from friendship," he said, though truthfully he wasn't sure how to adequately reciprocate it. "All this talk of my company, though. What of yours? I can't imagine you live a stressless life. If I wanted to help you, would friendship be enough?"
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Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 2:45 pm
The smile that Shiloh received could only be described as breathtaking. He couldn’t really place it, but it was that same feeling when he was able to give something he made away. To be able to make the judge smile like that, and the smile was caused by what he had said and done was more than anything he could ask. He wanted to reach out, to pace his fingertips against that smile for a bit longer,but that was far too much.
“I see no reason or desire to hide anything… I am what I am, and there are many things to be ashamed of, but being what I’ve grown into is not so high on that list… And I do not wish to be a burden on you, so I would only ask what you would be willing to give. Life wouldn’t be worth living without some sort of struggle or goal to work towards, I think. What might be ‘wrong’ with me, anxiety, general nervousness and worry that seems to constantly plague me might not be so easily fixable, but you help me simply by giving me just a little of your time. It means so much to me, it truly does. How could I ask for anything more?” While he spoke, he gently nudged about stray bits of rice on his plate, thinking of what to say next. A smile all his own formed on his features and he sheepishly made a small tapping sound against the plastic.
“Well… Perhaps maybe I could ask for more of your cooking… It was so delicious, sir, it truly was!"
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