His body ached. His muscles twitched and his limbs trembled and shook. Despite the thick haze that had overtaken him, Airi still found himself wondering how he was even standing on all fours. He panted harshly, trying to gulp down air as he stared at the ground, pupils blown wide. His pulse rushed in his ears, along with a loud shrill ring. A wet drip caused his ears to twitch and privet forward, and Airi managed to drag his gaze from nothing, to a blooming puddle blossoming around one of his paws. Multicolored eyes slowly followed the blackish red trail as it ran up his arm and disappeared somewhere around his shoulder. There was something purple mixing with his blood, blood Airi was a little too gone to figure what it was.

There were other wounds, he knew that much at least. He felt them. There were a few deep gashes on his legs, a deep one stretched across his back and several of the bone spikes and plates down his back had broken and cracked. The wolf found himself laughing. Now he knew what the humans meant by “Hurting in places he didn’t know he had.”

Crowd control, he was told. Some of the bigger youma around the rift were getting a little too… roudy. There had been reports of them attacking Officers in the rift.

Another laugh, this time a bitter one. More like damage control.

Most of the youma that had been assigned to little group had been dusted. Thankfully, he’d managed to avoid that, but not without sustaining some deep wounds. He had to get moving. Had to keep moving. All he had to do was make it to the cave and then he could stop. Just make it…

Home

It wasn’t going to be good, when he got back. Not after what happened last time, but he wasn’t safe here and Evan wasn’t safe alone.

Man, Evan was about to kill him. ...Well, assuming he didn’t… well. You know.

Airi took the first step.

….

The trek back to the cave was agonizingly slow. His vision swam is he tried to shoulder the boulder out of the way, having lost far too much blood. He’d lost count how many times he’d collapsed, or passed out momentarily. But finally, the end was in sight. A few more steps and he was home free… At least, until Evan got to him, which would be soon enough.

Airi whined as the boulder slipped from his shoulder. With a huff, he let himself drop to the ground. “Ow…” He mumbled quietly, letting his eyes slip closed. Though, after a few moments, the wolf jumped with a start, his eyes flying back open. He whined again, pushing himself back up and haphazardly shoving himself through the gap. He collapsed shortly after, and this time Airi didn’t bother picking himself back up.

--

Evan disliked being alone, that much was certain. Though he'd regained his energy and healed, in the way that only youma could, he had gotten even more skittish. He didn't leave the cave, except to go wait eagerly for Sanidine to come visit him (though, at least Sanidine understood that summoning Evan was safer for the both of them). He had almost left, this time, except he hadn't been able to muster the strength to move the boulder guarding the door.

So he'd tried to dig a hole underneath.

Only, beneath the layer of dust and dirt, there were crystals. On one hand, great protection—it meant something else couldn't wriggle its way in. On the other hand, it meant Evan couldn’t get out.

He had little understanding of how long Airi had actually been gone for, but when he started to miss him too much he'd gotten desperate.

Now, he was thinking that was the appropriate emotion.

When the boulder first moved, Evan hadn't even considered that it would be anyone but Airi; he made his way to the entrance and eagerly waited.

And then Airi had collapsed in front of him and Evan let out a breathless chirp. His eyes were wide, and if he could have broken out in a cold sweat, he would have. He scampered closer, hands hovering awkwardly just inches away from the youma. He wanted to touch him, to try and sooth his injuries, but he didn't know what to do. He didn't know where to start.

After a few frantic seconds of confusion, he bolted to Airi's face and laid down flat on the ground, chirping needily and trying to get his attention.

--

Airi wasn’t sure how long he had been laying there. He was only vaguely aware he was walking a fine line, fading in and out when a familiar chirp shot through the fog. He listened for a while. An ear twitching slightly would be Evan’s only indication he could hear him. He tried focusing on the noise. Letting it guide him through the haze, until he was finally able to see past the blurred, spinning world around him and focus on Evan.

“...Hey…” He said softly, offering the smaller youma a smile, or what he could manage of one. “I thought you… you were meeting Sanidine today….” Was that today? Airi couldn’t remember anymore. The youma blinked a few times lazily before attempting to pick himself up again. He swayed a few times, but he managed to stand up without collapsing. So far so good. Unfortunately, he only made it a few steps before his legs gave out once again and Airi collapsed on the ground with all the undignified grace of a newborn.

“...I think this is as far as I’m getting tonight…” He murmured. Normally, he would have tried to curl up in a ball and sleep it off, but Airi didn’t seem to have the energy to even do that.

--

Evan blinked, obviously perplexed. If he was supposed to be meeting Sanidine, he'd missed the meeting, which only made him worry just what was going on in Airi's head. He wasn’t used to Airi smiling when he was meeting with Sanidine, so it only sent another pang of worry through him to see that Airi was trying.

He reached out a shaking hand and quickly combed his fingers through the fur on the back of Airi's neck. He let out another weak chirp and wanted to keep him pushed down on the ground. It was plain for him to see that Airi shouldn't be moving, so he backed up a few steps and held up his hands as if to say 'I Surrender'—or, more likely, 'Stay there'.

He didn't want to leave Airi's side, but he bolted rapidly, running to the hoard of blankets and pillows. He grabbed a handful and ran back to the youma before frantically throwing them over his head.

Evan did not know how to deliver first aid in this form.

But Evan knew that Airi obviously needed to rest, and if Evan couldn't bring Airi to the bed, he could at least start by bringing the bed to Airi.

…He could worry about how to try to help fix him as soon as he knew Airi was somewhere safe and comfortable.

--

When Evan slid a hand into the fur on his neck, Airi sighed and let his eyes slip closed under the touch. The chirp drew his attention and his eyes opened again. “Alright…” He mumbled, having understood Evan’s message loud and clear. One of only a handful of times he’d managed to do that.

He sat, confused when Evan bound over to the nest and started grabbing pillows and blankets. His confusion only grew as the smaller youma began throwing them over his head. “Evan… Evan what are you doing? You’re going to get them di-” The wolf was cut off as a pillow smacked him right in the face. Airi huffed once more, ears hanging low. Guess that was his signal to shut up and put up with it.

As he waited for Evan to grab and arrange everything how he wanted it, Airi curled up into the smallest ball he could manage. Had this cave always been this cold? Airi couldn’t remember. Maybe it was just him. He tried to suppress the shivers that ran up his back. After a few moments of trying, he gave up. Unable to relax. “Evan.” He called softly. “Just come lay with me.” It was easier to deal with, if Evan was around.

--

At that point in time, Evan was barely worried about dirt. In the back of his mind there must have been some vague thought--that Sanidine could wash them if he really begged. He was worried about Airi and continued to bounce around, trying to make sure he was comfortable.

He did let out a little squeak of apology when he realized he’d hit Airi in the face and tried to soothe the injury by planting a quick kiss atop his head before he continued to scrape for things to make him comfortable. By the end, he’d built a mountain of pillows and blankets on top of him and very carefully he wiggled underneath them so he could lay by Airi’s side.

Evan was tiny and knew he couldn’t in any way drape himself around Airi to bring him warmth; all he could do was snuggle up close to him and watch him intently and hope that he got better

His ears were folded low and his eyes were wide and worried.

It didn’t matter if youma could be destroyed and reform; he knew how lost it was, how scary it was.

You died. But then you came back. Less like yourself than you were before.

Evan didn’t want Airi to change at all.

--

Airi made a small pleased noise at the kiss placed against his forehead, he relaxed under the feeling. His paws twitched, but he was too slow to catch Evan in them before the smaller youma went back to his own task. He sulked, as he waited. Some small part of him pointed out that this was exactly what he’d done for Evan. That Evan was trying to return the favor, and take care of him for once.

Another shiver tore through him and Airi buried his own nose under his paws, trying to ignore it. He wouldn’t end up like the rest, he told himself. He was not getting dusted. Not today. He couldn’t let that happen to himself. He couldn’t let that happen to Evan.

When Evan finally crawled under the blankets and against him, Airi turned and pressed up against him as much as he dared without threat of burying Evan. “...You’re warm…” He rumbled, the noise sounding more like a purr as he let his eyes drift closed for a moment. Another shiver ran through his body and Airi’s eyes fluttered open once more.

“...Sorry…” Came the rasp. “I’d shift… but I don’t have the energy, and I don’t know if that will make anything worse.” He didn’t know if he even could at the moment. He sighed quietly as he shifted under the blankets.

“...I’ll be okay.” He said, words laced with hidden uncertainty. “...It, it happened before you know.” It was a long time ago though.. Airi barely recalled it. “I don’t like it either, you know.” He pressed his head gingerly against what he could of Evan. “We’ll get through this…”

Here he was, broken and bruised, and Airi’s first concern was still Evan.

--

Evan shook his head fervently; he didn’t care what form Airi was in, only that he was getting better and that he was as comfortable as possible while he was healing. His brows were knit and somewhere along the line, Evan had started trembling. The cave wasn't any colder than it had ever been, and he was covered in a thick layer of fear.

He wasn't trembling from the chill, he was trembling out of fear. He was worried that he was going to lose Airi--more than just in body, but in spirit.

He wanted to believe Airi when he said everything was going to be all right, but he could look at the other youma's injuries and know that this wasn't something you just slept off. They'd have been lucky if Airi didn't wind up dusted. Evan didn't know how long the other youma could hold on, or if he'd pull through this in one piece.

He hoped, of course, but there was a hollow pit in his stomach and he looked like he was going to cry, anyway.

Evan couldn't communicate how he wanted, so he did the next best thing and gently pressed his forehead to Airi's cheek, nuzzling carefully. He tried to talk, like he always did. He hadn't yet given up all hopes of communication.

Still, he could only chirp weakly.

--

The tremors caught Airi’s attention, making his ears twitch. “...Why are you shaking…” He asked softly. The youma nipped gently at the edge of one of the blankets, drawing it tighter around the pair. His tail curled, brushing up against Evan under the blankets.

Oh.

Oh, he knew that look. Airi whined softly, gently as he nuzzled Evan back. “No… No. Don’t cry.” He pleaded, licking at Evan’s cheek. “It’s okay Sweetheart. I promise. Just give me time.” He just needed time to lick his wounds. “We can go to Fangite if it looks like it’s getting bad.” Airi promised. “You can wear the collar. It will keep you safe, he will keep you safe. You know that…”

He pressed close at the weak chirp, ignoring the irritation it caused his wounds. “You trust me right?” The youma asked, although he already knew the answer. “Keep trusting me. Even… Even if it happens, okay? I will come back for you.”

To you.

“You know that… Right?”

--

There was so much that Evan didn't know how to respond to. His emotions fluctuated rapidly, but there seemed to be perpetual confusion on his face.

And it had started with 'Sweetheart'.

Evan just looked floored at the comment and didn't seem to think the name applied to him; his first reaction was to look around and see who Airi was talking to.

But, they were alone, and it made him worry that maybe he was seeing things. Maybe he was worse than Evan realized.

He wished, desperately, that he had some way to get in contact with Fangite. He shook his head when the collar was offered, and almost even seemed uncomfortable with the idea. It was Airi's, it was supposed to keep him safe and taken care of.

It would have meant something else to Evan.

He didn't want anything to happen to Airi, but Evan was no healer. He wasn't a medic--and even if he was, he didn't have tools or resources. He was useless.

But Airi would come back.

He trusted him.

As much as Evan could trust someone, he trusted him.

Weakly, he drew in a shaky breath to try and calm himself.

He nuzzled Airi gently and nodded.

--

When Evan shook his head at the collar, Airi, of all things, laughed. “Alright… Okay.. No collar. Got it. I should have figured that… You’re not even much for me wearing it…” He wheezed, recalling how Evan just dropped it on the ground when he initially learned about it. “Mmm… Sides.. You remind me more of a cat… so I suppose charading around as a large black dog really wouldn’t be your thing now would it?” The wolf chuckled, hissing slightly.

“If you don’t like the way things are looking, we can head up to Fangite’s… It’s your call okay?? Just give it an hour or two first.” He could manage that… Hopefully things wouldn’t take that much of a dive for the worst.

A tired smile pulled at his lips as he watched as Evan nuzzled close, calming slightly. “That’s my boy…” Airi shifted, tucking a paw against his chest. “But until then… Just stay with me. That is all I want right now.” That was all he needed. “It will be okay.” He promised. Somehow, he’d make it all okay.