Kids! Kids kids kids! Helen wanted them! Desperately! She didn't just want one kid, or two, she wanted an entire litter. She had, for years, dreamed of being the mom that most made fun of. Attentive to all her kids needs but also involved in everything they did. Helped run sports they were interested in. Offer their friends fruit after practice. Generally, the entire soccermom trope, which she didn't understand. What was so bad about being involved? Or.... very involved? And she happened to like her van....

Tugging her scarf over her neck, Helen held up her Starchucks cup and took a swig. Aaaah. Pumpkin latte, the best. Right. So she had to get to the stonebank by 4, and buy cribs by 5, then head off to her favorite cafe by 6. Busy day! She better start planning some names!

Chad, Brittany, Heather, Chet......