Name: Cedarian
Age: 18
Sex: Male
Sexual Orientation: Homosexual
Craft: Harper
Rank: Apprentice
Location: Western Weyr
Physical Description: Cedarian is, above all else, beautiful. He took after his father with a slightly slimmer physique; delicate bones, beautiful wrists, and sharp, pointed features. His skin is fair thanks to his northern roots, and his strawberry blond hair, though long, is always tied neatly back with a chord or (on rare occasions) braided in some new fashion. His eyelashes are long, which only add to his beauty, frame bright green eyes. His lips are often found in a perpetual pout, and his dark brows tend to be knit in a perpetual glower. He prefers to wear fine clothing that fits his incredibly trim frame. He stands just under 6'0" but has hope that he might grow another inch or two yet.
Personality:
Cedarian is judging you. Perhaps that's the first thing one notices when first introduced to the young man. With a perpetual frown, constantly furrowed brows, and an incredibly serious nature, this particular young man has no problem quietly vetting your every move. If you do not pass muster -- and very few do -- it is highly possible the strawberry blond will simply write you off. Either you are useful to Cedarian, or you are not, and that is simply the way of things. Insecurity is at the heart of his judgmental actions. Forever feeling as if he is not good enough, and allowing any criticism or wrong doing bruise his terribly sensitive heart, Cedarian keeps aloof from many, and instead finds faults in others so as to make himself feel less a monster. Natural vanity and a good dose of superficiality doesn't help his deeply rooted insecurity. He does whatever he can do to make sure he looks damn fine at any given moment. He wears clothing that show off his best assets, and is constantly striving to keep himself trim, slim, and good looking, almost to a worrisome degree. One must make a good impression, after all, and he knows how quickly one can judge another simply based on looks alone.
So it is, the young man tends to come off as an aloof snob. He doesn't have many friends, often keeping them at arms length, often feeling as if he's somehow better. He doesn't truly believe that; but he has such insecurity, such natural shyness, that instead of turning into a wallflower, he instead tries very hard to look as if he has it all. He keeps himself composed, and not wanting any to know of his sensitive heart, and easily wounded pride, he tries his best to simply keep himself detached.
For the small few who do manage to worm their way into his heart, Cedarian is not at all as awful as he seems. He is, ultimately, an artist; and while he has the ego of a spoiled prat, he also shares quiet self-loathment and despair over his craft. His music isn't good enough; his playing must be sub-par at best; and everything is awful. He is, perhaps, a bit melodramatic though that is often not a side many get to see.
Cedarian does have a good side. As he was lucky to be born into a rich family, with marks a plenty to spare, he is known to be incredibly generous when the situation calls. Should some of his friends be without, he will not hesitate to provide. In fact, he rather understands that showing someone his esteem is easily done so by throwing marks at them. He gives gifts to his loved ones frequently, as buying their love might ensure they stay, but he also gives (usually anonymously) to individuals who are genuinely in need. Does Lorel need new boots? The marks might mysteriously appear on his nightstand. Does Fransina crave a new dress after finding her one and only stained? A tailor might show up with instruction to make her two quality dresses, already paid in full. If he can save the day (at least through marks) then Cedarian will do so, eagerly. Throwing marks at a problem, or to buy others affection, is something he does regularly. He doesn't think highly enough of himself to believe his friends wold stay if he were poor, so he makes sure to spoil them rotten.
Last but not least, within that sensitive Harper heart of his, is a man who desperately yearns for real relationships and romance. He quietly swoons over every love ballad he hears, and dreams of the day he might fall head over heels. He wants love, wants true acceptance, and he wants a place to feel secure to be himself. Cedarian loves the idea of love and of happily-ever-afters for himself and others.
History:
Cedarian was the youngest son born of a small, but growing, minor Hold on the Western Island. His father and birthmother were in-laws; a gay and lesbian couple both desiring children. His father wound up wedding the brother of his once betrothed; and his once bethrothed had wound up falling in love with her ex's sister. So it was, the two couples made an agreement that should they ever desire children, they might carry for one another. It was a happy (albeit non-traditional) arrangement all around. The hold in which he grew up in wasn't far from the ocean, and while it had originally specialized in fishing and seacrafting, it became best known for its runners. While Keroon might have the monopoly on runner racing in the Northern Continent, Exeter Hold had bred its own find stock of runner. As the Hold had been established in the early days of Western exploration, many runners on the continent (so those of Exeter boast) can be traced back to their stock. It was from the selling and breeding of runners that Exeter Hold and its Lords made their marks. Cedarian's family line has run the Hold since its founding.
Cedarian's birth was welcomed, but not entirely necessary, with five older brothers. This meant that the strawberry blond child was free to do as he pleased; unfortunately, it also meant the boy was constantly afoot, trying desperately to get his fathers and brothers attention. This came with mixed results. His father Rianden, while not a cruel man, was often more concerned about marks and money than taking on a paternal role. Rianden was known to be strict, and while he loved his son, he was never particularly demonstrative with his affection. Men should be men, and he often left the coddling to his lover, Ciramar. Worse, as Cedarian grew, it was noticed that he was a bit more gentle and sensitive of nature. He wasn't loud, crass, or wild, and could cry or get wounded by the slightest reproach. Rianden honestly didn't know what to do with such a sensitive and gentle son, and often met him with exasperation, frustration, and even more a desire to toughen him up. When none of that worked, he wrote him off. Oh, he did what he could -- he gave him marks, ensured he was fed, well-dressed, well-educated -- but he turned his attention to his older, more boyish children.
If Rianden thought his son didn't notice the change, he was wrong. Cedarian learned from a young age that he wasn't seemingly man or masculine enough. He tried hard to follow his brothers and father's example, but his interests simply were his own. He liked beautiful things; he liked art, and music, and dancing as opposed to business, politics, or athletics. Despite all that, he tried, in vain, to become the sort of man his father wished him to be. Surely, the best person to emulate, would be his father directly, wouldn't it?
So, he put up a front, and tried to mimic his father's way. He was a Holder's son, after all -- he needed to act like it. Unfortunately, his cold and aloof father wasn't perhaps the most prime example. As he grew, he not only became more distant from both his fathers, but grew to relish in the primping and pampering he received from his older brothers. This only helped make him the vain creature he is today. Worse, his father Rianden realized that throwing money at his youngest helped keep him distant; trips to this Hold, trips to that Gather, gifts to assure him he still remembered he was his child.
Unfortunately, as his brothers grew, they began to scatter and leave the Hold. This great distressed the young man, who couldn't help but feel abandoned. However was he supposed to get along with his father when there was no one else to distract the man?
Sure enough, as his sons scattered throughout Pern to pursue crafts and knowledge and new lives, Rianden found himself focusing more on his youngest. While he never stated disappointment, it was clear that Rianden's relationship with his youngest was strained. Though he tried to find common ground, the two often fought; instead of trying to remedy the relationship, after throwing all the marks he could didn't fix their relationship, he instead packed the spoiled creature up and sent him to Western's local Harper Hall. It was time his son did something with his life, and given he loved music, it seemed the best place for him.
Maybe a woman of rich breeding would turn his head.
Cedarian might have been a snob, but he was musically inclined, much to his Masters despair. He made few friends, though the ones that he did enjoy his company were either there to coo and cosset him or simply wanted his marks. He excelled at the harp, and did well with his studies. Unfortunately, finding himself outside of his spoiled home, Cedarian found himself completely out of his element. He could be overly formal, but had little to relate to the common Pernese children that made up much of the Hall. So, he retreated further, his shyness warring with pride.
When Thread returned, Cedarian was devastated. His family seemed to make it through the worst of it, though their Hold was devastated, and many families and runner lines weren't so lucky. His father told him to remain - - there was little the delicate child could do to help, though he found out some of his brothers had been encouraged to return to help with cleanup. Wounded by the obvious snub, Cedarian once again could do little good in his father's eyes.
Most recently, the young man found himself Searched by a Western Weyr rider. He agreed to the Search, hoping that maybe he might somehow elevate himself in his father's eyes if he were to Impress. His older brother C'rian already had a brown... Maybe he would do just as well?
So it was, he packed up his things (and he had many things with which to bring with him, much to the riders horror) and was brought back to Western Weyr. Unfortunately, the lad has found that Weyrlife is not at all like he'd imagined. Marks had meant he'd had his own little room at the Harper Hall... but here he was expected to room publicly. And the chores they were given were chores meant for drudges, weren't they!?
If he manages a month, his Searchrider would be surprised.
Other: While his main focus is the harp he's also quite good a the pipes as well. His singing voice is quite fair, too.
Candidate Specific Questions
Do you want them to have an official Search RP? No
Do you understand they will age every passing year regardless if you're there to RP the or not? Yes
Do you want them to have a possible Stands Impression? No
Reply
