Quote:
Shopping for anything at this time of year can be downright crazy. Stores are filled to the brim and people have broken out into fighting over--what, things? The best deal on jewelry, the newest toy craze. Honestly, no one sane should be out right now.

But, for some reason, here you are. Something out there compelled you to join these crowds--so what is it? Why did you brave this busy time of the year to shop? Are you one of the many looking for that one perfect gift? Or did you just so happen to run out of toilet paper at the same time someone started a major sale? Whatever it is that's got you out--just be careful; those crowds are dangerous!


Mehtab was bad at shopping for people. Hell, his girl was swanky rich and while he was still just a dealer, he appreciated her business. And her business as well on the back end when no one was looking. He really enjoyed that business. A lot. So he wanted to show his appreciation for her and her dang cute face and kisses with a gift. Nothing huge or fancy but something nice, maybe practical. Problem for the man was what did you get the girl who could buy anything in the goddamn mall? Solution: got got a picture of your dumn a** with santa.

You, an adult man, sitting, or as close as sitting was allowed because the poor guy had bruises on his leg probably from fat asses on them all ******** day, santa's lap like you were five.
The photo looked like a weird soft creepy photo taken and heavily photo shoped to hell and back and Mehtab was so goddamn proud of it. Like, so ******** proud he started showing it off on social media because his small mind realized wow way to god she probably will see your dumb a** photo before you can give it to her you moron.

So in a panic Mehtab went to bed bath and beyond. Or was it bath and body works? That one store in the mall that had all the good s**t for middle aged house wives who wanted to cover up the smell of their afternoon drinking problems, teenagers trying too hard, and people who just liked to pretend they were fancy or just really ******** hated yankee candle even though yankee candle was lit.

Figuratively and often literally given that you could smell the store even in the middle of the food court (and it made for really awkward smells when the mall sushi place had a rush going. Raw fish and artificial citrus candle scents did not mix well).

That all aside, mehtab went to the bath and body works and began to smell everything, finishing out a few things about himself along the way.
One, he really ******** hated cherry blossom as a smell it was worse than roses because it just smelled fake.
Two, who the hell made the scents for men did people think men did not want to smell like a goddamn flower field because Mehtab sometimes wished he could do so without getting looks at the checkout
Three HOLY s**t some ladies were really into the buy two get one for free sale about those three wick candles and would ******** try to fight him for the last tree scented one and man he was god damn terrified more of them than he was of monsters.

Four, bath and body works was not working for him but he did get a nice fairly cheap tube of lotion for not hands though hands might be involved. It would also maybe hide any smell but he ate enough pineapples that it shouldn't be a problem.

His girl would appreciate how much pineapple he got for Christmas.