Welcome to Gaia! ::

Punkie walked along, glad to see so many trolls in a mirthful spirit. It had seemed like a rather dark cloud had settled over Alternia with the terrible disaster that had been the Civisect Space Tower, but there was nothing like a good jubilee to bring the trolls back into their usual, aggressive but lively manner. Punkie had a basket of pamphlets, rolled up and tied with a black ribbon, each one including the wonders of the Juggalo world all in a small easy to carry pamphlet. Punkie eagerly thrust the pamphlets into troll's hands as they walked by, sometimes a little forcefully, but that was the path to enlightenment. Sometimes you had to drag a troll or two kicking and screaming, but they would appreciate it in the long run, Punkie was sure. The little girl came upon a nice looking stand, caked in the wonders of glitter and shining sequins. The whole place shouted ******** miracles. It was the glitter, glitter always shouted the holy words in Punkie's head-cannon. "Why a ******** how-do-ya to ya dere!" The girl said, greeting the booth owner. "Ya don't happen ta have a word from the glob ******** messiahs do ya?" The girl asked. Most trolls were ignorant of the wonders and magical miracles of the Mirthful Messiah, good thing this orangeblood juggalo was around. "Cuz i could ave sworn this place looked as blessedly ******** festive as a ******** raindeer-beast. Ya really have a special touch with it, yer the best blesses ******** ive seen this jubaliee." Punkie grinned, letting her complement soak in. "Can i interest ya in some ******** reading material ta keep ya company durrin the boring moments?" Punkie asked, slipping the religious pamphlet to the booth owner.

Punkie positively beamed at the greenblood's complement. And the girl wanted to learn more?! Oh she might regret those words, but the orangeblood's night was made. Punkie gladly handed over some of her scarce beetles. The lure of warm beverages, cookies, and a willing ear would have this orangeblood part with most anything. Punkie made herself comfortable on a nearby seat, and then just ran with it. She had been writing sermons for sweeps now, and a willing ear was all she needed to spill her life's work.

"A Juggalo's propaganda all starts with the ******** mirthful Messiahs." Punkie said kindly, trying not to simply explode with her capricious joy. "They are who we damned trolls live and breath for. In every way the ******** are the center of any juggalo's life, being the ones who put the beauty of ******** miracles in our clogass filled lives. A goddamn juggalo KNOWS the Messiahs are the ones with the ******** knowledge of the lugubrious universe, and any ******** that dares to look our Messiahs in the eye, and see past their ******** miracles is doomed to a sanguinary life." Punkie had to pause second to catch her breath.

"And at the clot center of it all is your ******** BLOOD PLUMPER! It is the most noxious source of the mirthful spirit, a thing that if some swarmpupa goes without they will surly perish with the maggots of the unworthy. And WHERE does our capricious bloodpumper come from?!" The girl continued, her volume raising. "THE ******** MIRACLE GIFT OF THE MESSIAHS THAT'S WHERE." Seeming to go on without air the juggalo continued. "And with our clot-damned ******** we go into the world, fallowing that plump beat that cascades inside you, because if some ******** toxic churl three-ring disgrace fails to fallow that beat, then by the saccharine blood in their plump bloodclots let our holy Messiahs extirpate their unworthy corps giblets."

Somehow the juggalo was standing on the stool now, her eyes wide with the holy spirit. "So until the goddamn Dark Carnival exfoliates our pathetic mortal flesh cubes, and expedites our journey to the ******** dark Hilarocaust, let the rapture of the cacophonous faygo, and the cadency of the freestyle rap schlepp us ******** grub globs to the Dark Carnival, to exculpate our shamesquirts, and may we abate to the limbo-like afterlife where the dead are gratingly judged upon their actions of violence, hatred and ******** misconduct." The juggalo stopped a second, gasping for air, ready to continue once her basic need of oxygen was filled.

As the greenblood recited Punkie's most important issues back to the juggalo, the girl could not help but beam in pride. She had been practicing on street corners, in the shower, and at orphanages since forever. It was her life's work! Then, quite bluntly, the greenblood rejected Punkie and all she stood for. She had heard the words often, "I have no interest in joining", but it hit the girl like a buss, especially after she had gotten so very into it. The juggalo tried not to let the weight in her bloodpumper pull her down, and felt her smile straining. Scaring off customers even.

Punkie tried to take the greenblood's next complement well, but her bloodpumper was really pulling her down. Carver, who had been nestled in Punkie's hair this entire time, clicked his claws. "Clickity clickity clack click click" the lusus said, making the juggalo raise her head. Punkie smiled in earnest at her lusus's clicking. She had been rejected before, and it hadn't stopped her from putting her entire being into her sermons, why should this rejection stop her. Besides, trolls were a stubborn race, it was a good sign that this greenblood fit the bill. Once Punkie did manage to convert her, she would be an amazing juggalo. Renewed hope, Punkie grinned at the greenblood.

"Haha ya i do! What gave it away?" Punkie said, fallowed by an over the top wink. The juggalo carefully lifted the cup to her mouth, and drank the warm coca. "Really tho, i should have AT LEAST introduced ma self! ******** plumpbiskits my manners. Hello, Im Punkie. Its a pleasure ta meet a ******** like ya."