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Mikael had overheard everything that had transpired in the tent with Melvin and it had raised more questions than it has answered. He had certainly caught Rodney and Lawrence around the house more than once engaged in the sort of kissing he was sure transcended the bounds of friendship, but he hadn’t thought that anything else was going on. Evidently not. The whole thing hadn’t sat well with him and had really damaged the way he thought of Rodney. Once he’d thought of the man as the kind of person he’d want to be his father, the kind of soft, nurturing presence he’d always imagined he needed, but now he doubted all of that, wondering if perhaps he was just the best actor of all of them, outstripping even Lawrence himself in his duplicity.

Still, for all the kindness he’d been shown by the other man he owed him a chance to voice his side of the story, and it was for this reason that he went to seek out the other man, spotting Lawrence over by the rations storage alone and deciding that somewhere Rodney had to be alone.

Mikael made his way over to Rodney with the air of someone who had a bone to pick. He strutted over and stood, arms crossed, looking at the other man with a look of betrayal.

"I hope you are happy." he said sharply.

Something in Mikael softened at the way Rodney wilted. Normally he found dramatics irritating to the point of making him angry, but the other man was always emotional, always fragile and delicate. He remained stern but it was more a frown than a scowl. "You just. You sided with him, in the end. I thought one day you might side with me. Everyone always sides with him."

He didn't bother saying it wasn't a competition, that a competition meant he had a chance. "I feel like I don't exist." he said, rubbing the ribbon around his wrist idly. "Like I /am/ his shadow. Everyone is here for him, everyone listens to him. It doesn't matter what I say. Most of the time I don't say anything."

He sighed. "And it would be nice. Nice to have a place. I don't think you disappointed me, I just feel like... I don't know. I feel like I should hate you, that I should be mad you fell for it too. But I don't. And I'm not mad, I'm just really tired."

“Well yeah I don’t tell people stuff.” Mik said, looking away. “They don’t care. I mean, they just prefer me how they want. Cute. Agree with everything they say, make them feel like they are smart. Me having feelings is awkward.” He frowned a little bitterly. “They want me to be what they want.” He was sick of it, sick of being whatever people needed. He understood now why it had been so easy for his father to lapse into playing whatever role earned him the easiest life, but he didn’t want to, he didn’t have the time to indulge people, it all sounded too frustrating. “I’m not going to be though.” He said. “Not anymore. I’m not theirs, I’m mine.”

He gave Rodney a look that was a little more intelligent than he normally permitted himself to be for his question about Lawrence. “Do I think he’s using you? Absolutely. He uses everyone in various ways. So does like, everyone though? I mean, I am using you right now for company and maybe advice?” He shrugged. “He must get something from you. And something big. He gave up the easy Melvin thing for you.” He had spoken to Lawrence a few times about Rodney and his father had seemed genuinely obsessed with him, talking about him the way he had a work of art. He shrugged. “I really don’t think he will manage to stay true to your though. It’s too easy for him to go off and get what he wants. He’ll just make sure you never know. It won’t even be mean, it won’t even be to hurt you, it will just be because he wants to. Maybe he’ll manage it if you work hard enough to keep him happy but that’ll cost you too.” He shook his head. “I was never enough to keep him happy or interested in me as a son.” It didn’t bother him too much now, but it had when he was younger, leaving him feeling like he was worthless, like something important had been scooped out of him, leaving a hollow void he could only curl around. These days he’d healed enough to ignore it and to live without whatever was gone.

“Maybe you’ll be okay. Maybe you have something special about you, something valuable that is worth his time.” And he couldn’t help the hint of bitterness in the comment. “I hope you can make each other happy. Just don’t throw me out of the house, I don’t have anywhere else to go.” He didn’t think Rodney would throw him out, but Lawrence was a very real risk.