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Name: Jeremiah Jacobson

Nickname: J.J.

Age: 10 years old

Birthday: July 2nd

Sign: Cancer

Gemstone: Ruby

Blood Type: B+

Fav. Food: Mac & Cheese

Hated Food: Brussel Sprouts

School: Knightside Elementary

Hobbies:
Video Games – When JJ was living with his dying mother, JJ had never had a chance to play a video game, and once he was placed in a foster home with even limited video games, he became addicted. He plays everytime he gets a chance and lately he's been beating every game easily; he is looking into some more advanced games. He will play any type of game he can get his hands on (if the adults will allow it), but he prefers fantasy RPG games.
Playing with younger brother – JJ has always loved DJ very much. When he's not playing the role of Mother and Father to the little guy, JJ and DJ get along very well as brothers - they love to play together even if they are six years apart. JJ has always known that DJ needed him, and he put DJ's needs first. However, he'd rather play with him – any game DJ wants - as JJ loves his brother.

Virtues:
Perseverance – When JJ has made something his goal, he will not let anything stop him from completing his goal. After his dad took off, he and his dying mother had to work together to take care of the three of them. His mother never quit fighting the cancer, even to the moment she died. This taught JJ to never give up - especially since she fought to the last minute to keep JJ and DJ together. Now he does the same, and he has decided that DJ will go to college, so he works with him every night on homework, and tutors him.
Willing to Stand up for those he cares about – While JJ may have experienced the evils of the neutral world and has turned against it; there are still those whom he would stand up for and protect from against the negaverse. Still others may grow on him. These precious few, he would give life for.
Flaws:
Could care less about the greater good -- JJ, poor JJ. He's only 10, and he's been in 5 different foster homes looking after himself and his younger brother DJ, since he can remember. He's heard adults prattle on about the greater good and taking of those who can't protect themselves such as children. Then they walk on by JJ and DJ like they are lower than pond scum. It's happened so many times that JJ has come to the decision that he could care less about the greater good and most adults. However, recently, he and DJ have been brought to live in a new foster home. It just might happen that their foster mother Laurie, and the other foster kids (all older) might grow on him.
Hope is near worn through – Just trying keep take care of himself and DJ each and every day grinds away at JJ's spirit, as it has for the last three years. Today, JJ has no dreams or hopes for the future except to stay alive to tomorrow.
PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION

Eyes: Dark Brown, Almond Shaped,

Hair: Black, shaved close to head with really miniscule curls

Face: Round, North African Skin color, medium size ears, high cheek bones

Clothes: School Uniform

Hey Hawk! You just keep those characters coming don't you? smile

Let's get J.J. Stamped!

On his civi side, the concept is good however, the idea of him and his brother being on the streets at that age is not something we can approve. At 10 years old, he and his brother would have gone straight into the system of foster care. If they spent any time of the streets, it would have been very minimum and would have been the result of the kids running away from the care they were placed under. Once found, they would have been brought straight back! This would be especially true for his 4 year old brother.

Also being in school, it would be noticed about the state he was in and his uniform. The school alone would also make sure to get him off the streets quickly.

So I apologize but while the bond between him and his brother is great, the idea of him being on the streets for any length of time is not something we can approve. If you would edit his hobbies and traits to reflect this, I can give his civi side another look.

On his powered side,
If you would please link up to the space body he draws his name from? Also, because of being a chibi, his attacks will be weaker at this time. When he becomes a full senshi at 14, they can strength.

His base attack, a couple of things:
This net he is creating, how large is it? Also, what is the range in which he can cast it?
The energy you mention being drawn out and released...who is this coming from? Him or the target?
Also, 3 minutes is far too long. Even though we normally adjust the length of time based upon what the attack is, we still ask that the length remain under a minute. The best way to think about it is a post is about 30ish seconds. So two posts gives a minute. (this is a rough estimate that we work with). So with this being the base attack, this needs to come down to lasting more like 20 seconds to 25 seconds. (because of being a chibi) That would also include the prep time. Which, begs another question, if he is attacked while he is weaving, would is break the spell?

For his super, same thing as above. Though this time, you can go up in length of time to 25ish to 35ish seconds in lasting. But all the above questions repeat here.

His eternal is a good idea but strikes a bit more voodoo than weaving. Perhaps he weaves a thread and it wraps around a body part of his target to make it hard to move? Like a cocoon around a single body party. This would only be able to last 30 seconds in either use.

Also, in general, you have time to create, that is normally factored into a casting unless you wish to make him vulnerable for the time he is weaving. Which would end up being about a post based on what you have.

Let me know if you have any questions!

Hey Hawk. Let's take another look!

The Civi side looks fine. I worry about about his age being so young but sometimes the world does make you grow up quickly!

On his senshi side, for clarification, we do need an idea of how many energy is drawn out. Because he is still a chibi, I would recommend that it be less than a full attack worth (aka, not making it so a senshi couldn't use one of their attack uses or a nega couldn't teleport) but maybe make it so they are yawning at base and a bit sleepy at super?

Also, does this net do anything besides take energy? Such as is it an annoyance they have to deal with or it just touches them, grabs the energy, and then disappears?

For the Eternal, what is the attack rage of this one? How far away can the thread go from Ptah before it is out of range?

Hey Hawk. Sorry for the delay. Holidays are crazy! xd

Couple things on the wording of your attacks. Overall the concept looks good but just to clarify in general.

The long threads he draws out should be more ethereal in form and not really his energy. It can appear the same way but only Chaos should be able really pull out energy and give it physical form.

Where you have 'It is enough to make a full basic rank x', a safer bet is to say 'it has the potential to make a basic rank x' so that is leaves it up to the other player how it affects their character. Some may not yawn but they feel tired. Others may over yawn or really want a nap. You should give an idea of what happens but realize they still have say in how their character reacts.

Also, regarding the note you have about it being sticky, that is fine but the net does not have a physical form. It has more of an Ethereal appearance but it came make someone feel sticky and if they are struggling against a net but he can't magically make a real net appear. (Also is this for all of the attacks or just Eternal?)

Hope you had a great Holiday Season!

Looks good!
A GM will be by soon.