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 Posted: Wed Oct 05, 2016 7:47 am
 It had been a few years now since Mesektet first met and fell in love with the demonin named Guereda. It had been simple at first—they had received a fake arrow with a love letter attached from their future lover, detailing how they had first met. Mesektet remembered it well—they could remember the Demonin standing nearby, joining in the laughter. Honestly, Mesi hadn’t thought that their joke had been all that funny, but Guereda had laughed nonetheless. The love letter had arrived the very next day. It had been sappy, but full of earnest, heart-felt longing that Mesi couldn’t help but respond to. Since she’d formally met Reda by the tree in Gardens Park, she had been hooked on the novelist. They had a lot in common—both of them loved the study of history, even if Reda didn’t study it formally in school. Both of them were most interested in the way that people in the past had lived and thought. They had both been hopeful for the future, which was a more important shared trait, perhaps, then all of the others. Then there had been the children.
Guereda had been upfront about it—they had a child already, a Hallowed one, and they had another child already imbued. But nonetheless, Reda wanted Mesi in their life and their children’s lives. “They’ll love you,” Reda had whispered. “And you’ll love them. I know it.” By that point, they had known each other for a couple months. Reda had not yet awakened Darryl, for what reason Mesi did not know and did not ask. But eventually, Reda had awoken their son, and before Mesi knew it, they were irredeemably in love with this family. Mesi had never once regretted joining them, and Evey and Darryl felt like their own children. They could not love their own children any more than they loved the little Demoness and hybrid. They loved to go on walks with them, watch them grow, hold their hands, and comfort them when they were upset or sick. They loved their children dearly, and never, ever wanted to let them go.
The previous paragraph had one lie in it.
Well, it was not exactly a lie. It was more…a half-truth. Mesi really did love Evey and Darryl as much as they would have loved a child of their own imbuement. But they didn’t feel entirely like Mesi’s own children. Not quite. There was still a hollow part of Mesi’s heart that wanted to imbue children of their own. They had kept that hollow burning for years now, unable to figure out how to explain to Reda what they wanted. They couldn’t just say it without preamble—after all, it sounded ugly. It really did. Mesi had walked—well, slithered—into this relationship in the full knowledge that they would be adopting two children if they stayed, but Mesi couldn’t help but feel jealous. Reda had children of their own magic, but Mesi did not, and it felt…well, it felt unbalanced. If only Mesi could figure out a way to explain it…
Or…they could just keep it a secret. It occurred to Mesi that there was more than one way to crush a scorpion. The answer was right in front of their nose the whole time: Evey and Darryl were growing up. Reda and Mesi were already discussing moving to a new apartment. Their finances were stable, now that they had two incomes to prop everyone up, and now that Reda had started publishing their novels online. Money from a patronage website helped support Reda’s writing effort and Reda’s family. As soon as they had moved, their family would settle down, and settling down meant that they would be in a good position to imbue more children. It’s not like I want that many, Mesi thought. I just want one. One child who was always mine to begin with. Mesi may have borne the title “Mother” to their two children, but Mesi still wanted to feel like a real Mother. At the moment, the title felt entirely honorary. By Naga standards, Guereda should be the Mother, not Mesi. I want to earn it. And I know just how to. Reda loved children, especially small children. All Mesi had to do was point out that there was a way to have more…
Mesi felt like they were manipulating Reda, which they absolutely were. They hated feeling manipulative. But they had to do something before the dam burst in the stress of a move and that ugly secret came tumbling out. The opportunity to put their manipulation into action came as they were viewing a new apartment. The owners of the apartments had been kind enough to let them tour a typical apartment to see what they were getting into. There was a lot of space here, with a large living room and much larger bedrooms. Mesi leaned against Reda, their hands entwined in each other’s. They were looking at the smaller of the two bedrooms, the one that they had already been mentally referring to as the “children’s bedroom.”
“Evey wants to move into the dorms next year,” Mesi murmured. It was true. The Demoness had been talking about it almost non-stop lately. Her parents still hadn’t decided if they were going to allow that, but Evey wanted them to make the decision now. Apparently, the deadline for dorm sign-ups was coming soon, and she wanted to sign up soon so that she could request her friend Talya as a roommate. She’d argued until she’d been blue in the face (sorry, Mesi was a parent—she was obliged to make dumb parent jokes) that she needed space, that she wanted to be closer to her friends, that she wanted to room with Talya because otherwise Talya might get a total heel as a roommate… She’d argued on and on and on. The sad fact was, Evey was growing into a teenager now. She was becoming rebellious.
She was playing right into Mesi’s hands. They tried to push away the guilt of thinking about it like that. “I think we should let Evey move in.” They squeezed Reda’s hand. “Then maybe we can make Darryl a new roommate.” It was artless, honestly. That was the trouble with their relationship—Mesi was the practical one, Reda was the artist. If it had been up to Mesi to write that first love letter to Reda, they doubted very much that the two of them would be together right now.
Breathless, Mesi waited for the answer.
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Posted: Wed Oct 05, 2016 7:51 am
 With two incomes, Reda and Mesi could afford to move into a new apartment. There had been a lot of demand for it, actually—Darryl liked the idea of having more space and more privacy, and Mesi had been pretty enthusiastic about it too, for reasons that the hybrid had failed to elaborate on. It probably had to do with Darryl, actually—Mesi had always been closest to Darryl, a fact for which Reda was eternally grateful. The trouble with Darryl was that he was…well, he was not a very social person. Darryl liked to be alone. He also took offense easily. He was very…moody. He took everything personally. He had some fine traits, mind you—he was very intelligent, he was clever, he was quiet—and Reda loved him with all of their heart, but he could be difficult at times. Evey had never been as bad as Darryl, although these days Reda would be hard-pressed to say which one was the more troublesome. Evey was growing up. She was a teenager now, as she insisted on calling herself. Twelve is not a teenager, Reda grumbled to themselves. Twelve is a preteen, just like eleven and ten are. But it was hard to argue with Evey, especially when Evey kept pressing Reda’s buttons.
Evey wanted to move out. Why?! Oh, she had reasons. She voiced them at almost every opportunity. She wanted to be near her friends. She wanted to hang out with them. She wanted to rooom with Talya next year, when they were both juniors—apparently, she was worried that Talya would have trouble adjusting to a new stage in life and new glasses without the constant help of her friends. Honestly, Reda felt that was a good point. She cared a lot about Evey’s friends, but Talya could be a little more high-strung than Reda cared for. Reda preferred quiet and calm. How was it that they now had two children that were un-calm?
If Evey moved out, then Darryl would have plenty of space to be by himself without having to move to a new apartment. But the old one was feeling cramped now that four people were living in it, and reducing the number down to three was not going to help. It would still feel a little too claustrophobic, even as having only one person in the apartment felt too empty. It was a two-person apartment, now full to the brim with a family.
Reda sighed. The old days had been better, in a way. Just in a way, mind—or maybe a few ways. These days were much better than the old ways in many, many more ways. Reda had a lover now, they had two children, they had a good, steady job, they were almost done with college (part-time was no fun! They had had to put their college career on hold several times throughout the years, hence why earning their degree had taken twelve years), which would mean a huge load off of Reda’s back. There was nothing quite like getting something done that had taken a decade or more of your life to get done. Ugh.
So yes, these days were better. Reda felt more emotionally stable, more financially stable, more…well, more stable. Their kids may have been trying to de-stabilize their life, but…
Reda sighed again. They missed having small children. When children were small, things were different. They were smaller. Not just the children, but the issues. Everything seemed so large to a child, but much, much smaller to the adults taking care of them. Everything seemed new, spotless, sparkling, clean. The whole world was opened up for their young eyes to see. Reda missed being able to see the world through a child’s eyes. Darryl was even now getting too old for that. In fact, Reda thought sometimes, Darryl had more or less awakened too old for that…
They were viewing a possible new apartment when Mesi popped the question. Not the question to marry. Neither of them were particularly interested in marrying quite yet. They both liked having their relationship as it was—as “lovers.” “Maybe we’ll marry when we’re older,” Reda—or perhaps Mesi—had said once with a laugh. They were thinking of maybe doing it when they were forty or fifty. They could both see themselves still at each other’s sides by then. No, the question in this case was—well, it was more of a statement. No, not a statement. A suggestion. A suggestion to have another child…
The first thought that came into Reda’s mind was the changing seasons. Getting to see Haunted Hallows through a child’s eyes once again. Winter Solstice through a child’s eyes. Playing in the snow. Holding in their arms. Just holding. The second thought was of Darryl—Evey had been seven years old when they had Darryl. Darryl was only five. Was it really fair to “trade in” Darryl for a “new model”?
“I’m not sure we should,” Reda murmured softly. “I don’t think Darryl would be very happy about it.”
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Posted: Wed Oct 05, 2016 7:52 am
Mesi sighed. Ah, yes, Darryl…
Darryl was…no. No. Mesi was not going to play games. Mesi did not have favorites. She did not pick favorites amongst their children. They loved all of them. All of their children. Equally. But it would be a lie to say that Mesi didn’t have a soft spot in their heart for their moody younger child. Perhaps it was that Darryl, like Mesi, was a hybrid. Maybe it was that Darryl was the first child Mesi had ever raised from a young age; Darryl was, in all respects other than chronology and that hollow spot in their heart, their first child. Sure, Evey was older, but Darryl was first in a way that Evey could never be.
Darryl looked more like Mesi than Evey did.
NO. They were not going to think like that! They refused to think like that! “Darryl…I think Darryl feels somewhat…persecuted because he is the younger child. I think he feels like we do not have time for him. I think…” Mesi hesitated. They wanted another child, but they would never hurt Darryl intentionally. “I think Darryl will feel better once Evey moves out of the apartment. And I think having a younger sibling will put his own life into perspective, so that he feels less like a ‘forgotten younger sibling’ and more like a ‘responsible older sibling.’” Yes, they told themselves. That’s how he would feel.
Haha, no, he would not. “I think he would also feel better if you spent more time with him,” Mesi added. Darryl talked to Mesi when he would not talk to Reda. It gave Mesi a special insight into what was going on in that boy’s head. “Darryl knows that you lived with Evey for a long time. He feels like this family is truncated and that he is being left out of it. I think having a younger sibling, one who looks up to him, will help him feel better connected and pulled into the fold.” Mesi resolved to get Reda to spend more time with the boy. That was really the most important thing for him. Spend more time with him, get him to really know Reda…after all, Darryl had been a member of this family for longer than Mesi had, technically speaking…
Mesi held on with bated breath until they heard that word they had wanted to hear:
“Yes.”
Followed by more words they had wanted to hear: “Yes, I think you’re right. More time with Darryl. Let Evey go to school.” That one was accompanied by a hesitation and a gulp, but that was, in its own way, good. It meant that Reda was in a normal, sane frame of mind. They were thinking normally. “And a new child. A little sibling for Darryl.”
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