Welcome to Gaia! ::

This actually is my personal biography. I wanted to get opinions and tips on it.
Um...clearly, no cursing is allowed. I'll have to fix that later. But how to make it mean as much as it does with cursing is the hard part. And this is how I talk.
The title I'm planning is Everyone Should Be Disabled. Do you think that will make people want to pick up the book to see why I say that???

"Hi guys. Have you ever heard of TBI? No? Don't worry, it doesn't mean you're dumb. In fact, most, if not all, who are not in the medical field or do not have this in their life somewhere, have never heard of it. And therefore, make fun.
I want to change that.

What is TBI? If you guessed Tiny Bunny Infestation, sorry. That's wrong. It stands for Traumatic Brain Injury. From there, it gets pretty damn complicated.
The world of TBI is just as crazy diverse as the human race. Some have physical problems, while others do not. I am one of those who has no physical problems whatsoever.

Some call it a disease. I get that. They are not wrong; I just don't call it that.
I am quite proud to have my TBI. It's my best friend, which is great, because even if I wanted to get rid of it, I can't.

Most TBI's are far worse than my own. I have only met ONE person who is on my level of independence. My only REAL problems are that I can't drive or pay. Don't get me wrong. Those are not the only problems I have, just the main ones that prevent me from being social. Being social is what I like to do. But the instant a person hears that I need to be literally taken care of, they back off.

Go ahead and call me a gold digger. It's true. It doesn't bother me. But it is one more thing that makes people back off.
So, it’s rather difficult to make friends. And it makes me lonely.

I’m a very open and friendly person. But I can’t go out to make friends and even if I do, once people learn that I need some help, they don’t like me anymore. It’s really unfortunate for me. Making it worse is the fact that I don’t want to have children. In my experience, most men would adore being fathers. It’s not because I don’t want to be a mother…it’s because I don’t want to give birth and then have responsibilities and deal with crying over not getting to hold a card or press a button. It’s the TBI saying no to having kids, not me. I looooove kids. I just don’t like dealing with the crap that comes with a kid. Also cleaning poop does not seem like fun at all. Responsibility is what it is.

It’s not that I’m lazy guys. I am but…that’s not the reason I don’t wanna have a kid. I’m terrified of the pain of birth and terrified that I will not watch them around a pool. I’m terrified they’ll die on my watch. And that is the TBI. Not me.

That’s how I got my TBI. Actually, I just call it bran damage. It wasn’t a pool, though. It was Lake Michigan. I was 21 months old. My youngest niece, at this moment, is 2 months older. The story goes like this:

My parents were having a get together at my grandparents vacation house right on the lake. Time goes by and people decide to swim. A lady asks mom, “Where’s your little one?” and so begins a search. A swimmer steps on a doll. My uncle recognizes my clothes and jumps in. Everyone forms a chain to pass me to my mother waiting on the dock. When I reach her, I am discolored and water is coming out of every hole on my tiny body.

At that point in the story, my mother begins to cry and doesn’t tell any more. It’s a hard story to tell. Being so convinced you have lost your child by nothing but pure accident. I can’t imagine that.

I have squirreled away extra information though. 911 wasn’t called until a few tries of CPR where competed. I was sent to a hospital in a helicopter. Mom was comforted by a good looking EMT and felt as if her heart had gone. She quit cooking, writing and playing piano. My dad told me, only once, that I wasn’t breathing on my own for 7 days and that I was in the hospital for 6 months. I have no doubt my mom was by my side every minute. My dad…we’ll talk about him later. Mom said that she begged me to speak and out of absolutely nowhere I said, “Momma”. I haven’t shut up since. The date was August 22, 1988. The doctors pretty much said that I would never speak and be a vegetable for my entire life.

And now, we are 2 months shy of my 30th birthday in mid-November. I have no physical problems whatsoever. And I have never shut up since day 1. My vocabulary is quite excellent. I do not stutter. I never have any problems finding words. I walk and run. Running isn’t my favorite thing, because my knee hates it. And I just don’t like it. I much prefer sitting on my a** all day. No, I don’t. That was a joke. But, unfortunately, that’s what I do. I can’t go anywhere, without someone taking me and paying for me. I don’t like sitting on my a**, and my a** doesn’t like it, but I don’t really have an option. I’ll explain this in detail. Don’t worry. You will understand.

Now. About a job. Let me make this perfectly clear. I. HAVE. NO. CHOICE. I. CANNOT. WORK. Unless the job is no less than ABSOLUTELY. PERFECT. I’ll break it down for you.
I am mentally and emotionally disabled. I am incapable of working a 9-5 office job. 1 because of my emotional instability. I annoy everybody and everybody annoys me. Full time work is too much for me to handle. Part time work, may or may not be too much. It really depends on the job.

I cannot go to college. Why? One reason is that my brain really doesn’t like academics. There is another reason, but we’ll get into that later. I did not do well in high school. Don’t get me wrong. I got A’s and B’s, one C and one F. I was on the AB Honor roll at one point. But it was ******** hell. I had to put in LOTS of effort and it took a SHITLOAD of time for me to get those grades. I had a personal tutor in school, a tutor to help with homework, special needs classes, and did not take end-of-grade tests. If not for that “no child left behind” rule, I would have failed probably about 8 times. School did not work for me. If not for all those caring and helpful people in the school system, I would have never made it out. BECAUSE ACADEMICS ARE HARD.

So…for a job, I need er…I require it to be available to a high school graduate, be part time or less AND be something I can deal with. Also around people I can handle. Also I need it to be on my schedule. That’s a lot of specifics.

Work from home! That would be awesome. I would love that. But what would I do? I have brain damage that really controls a lot of my life, but also am human. Therefore, I have my own preferences and such. Hmm…make jewelry! Can’t do that. Pretty, yes. Hand eye co-ordination says no. Petsit!! Babysit!! I love kids and pets. That would be so perfect if they all stayed quiet. I have problems with loud and unpredictable noises. Very serious problems. Clean houses!! Cleaning is not a strong point for me. That one is more my personality, then the brain damage. Plus vacuuming is very loud and often very heavy. I do not do vacuums.

The job has to be no less than perfect. And I have yet to find it."

ninja ninja Needs redoing, I know. but still, how is it?

I don't like the title.... I think it would put a lot of people off of reading it.
I'd suggest something abstract, or something more fitting the actual story.
"Broken mind"
Something like that. It's interesting and gives a mental picture.
The title you have now could be taken as offensive by some people, even if you don't mean it to be.


As for the rest I think your explaining fine.
My suggestions would be to separate your "chapters'" by talking about one aspect of life you struggle with in each one.
Example:
Chapter 1: daily life
2: employment
3: friendship
4: romance
Ect.

And it would be nice to see personal stories demonstrating these things.
Like trying and failing at something. A story gives a much better impression than just stating facts.
Plus it helps the readers connect to you.

As someone with a double TBI severe class who recovered "perfectly" I get the humor in the title. My book is still in progress too, but it involves illegal experimentation by pharmaceutical companies and more medical issues. I think yours has a higher chance of appealing to people honestly.

The idea is good, and I like where it is going. However I would go with what Default suggested for format, it gives a better flow to the story. Also try to focus on how much you have fought to get to where you are. You need to drive home the fact that to get to this point, you fought hard. Get into the emotional side of things too if you can.

Just my two cents,
Tigs.