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 Posted: Sun Sep 18, 2016 5:57 pm
solace in the strangest place
He's been able to sleep better after the New York trip - not like before, never like before, but maybe longer than three hours. Maybe four, on a good day, five.
Sometimes, if he and Thorne's sleep schedules line up, he's able to get a full night.
Tonight wasn't one of those nights though and Chris blinks his eyes open, finding himself in the bedroom with dim light. He's not sure of the time and he rolls over in the bed, trying to see if he can find Thorne. But the bed is empty and cold, indicating he hasn't been here and was unlikely to be back. Chris sighs, but gets himself out of bed.
"Thorne?" He calls as he pads out of the room, rubbing at his eyes.
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Posted: Sun Sep 18, 2016 6:23 pm
solace in the strangest place
Thorne wakes up before Chris because he knows something is wrong.
No.
Not wrong.
Pax had told them that they would change. That they were something - different. Nobles. Not mortal. Pax had told them. And Thorne had waited. He had felt a shift in his voice one day. Had accidentally commanded a few people to leave him alone when he was out to get coffee for Chris and him. Had continued to test theory until it became a reality, until he learned that his voice didn't crack or splinter or hit a wrong note, and people -
People obeyed him. Thorne had to focus, to will it, but they did.
Thorne hadn't spoken to anyone, not even Chris yet, about that meeting in the moonlight. He wasn't running from it - but would Chris? The fear was a soft tremor in his bones, he thought he could hold onto it until he was ready.
But the night had other plans.
Sweat beads at the back of his neck as he curls into the darkest part of the warehouse's space, the shadows swirling around him with their hungry, hungry whispers. His breathing is a sharp staccato - not panic, not quite - but shallow and starving.
His hands are over his head, knees drawn in towards his chest, toes curling against the floorboard and - if he wasn't a monster before to anyone, to Chris -
Well, he was now.
"Don't," Thorne gasps when he hears Chris's voice, because he can't go out of the warehouse but he doesn't want to be seen, discovered, revealed, "Don't look. Please."
It is infinitely hard to stay hidden, though, when the antlers on your head now glow with the shifting, effervescent starlight of the night sky somewhere far away.
And they - they aren't even the worst part.
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Posted: Sun Sep 18, 2016 7:40 pm
solace in the strangest place
Even in the dark Chris can tell Thorne isn't in the living room or even the kitchen. There's nothing there that indicates his presence and he blinks, shuffles around.
It's only when he hear's Thorne's voice that he begins to wake up, begins to worry.
It's something instinctive in Chris that draws him towards Thorne, towards the darkest part of the warehouse. Maybe it's that he found him once before, since the warehouse isn't the best place at using voice to find someone. Maybe it's just them, something tying them together.
Whatever it is, Chris finds Thorne quick enough and his eyes widen in surprise. He didn't know what he was expecting, but it certainly wasn't the antlers glowing, shifting with starlight.
He can't see the rest of Thorne but that is enough for him to come closer, to crouch down to Thorne and just -
His hands hover. He doesn't know what to do.
"Hey, no. Come on, look at me."
Unknown to himself, his eyes are glowing a shade that's similar to his eye color, a greenish teal that he isn't quite seeing.
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Posted: Sun Sep 18, 2016 8:08 pm
solace in the strangest place
Thorne exhales, a sharp, fearful sound, when Chris comes close. He can hear him, even with his head ducked, fingers laced through the dark locks in a vice grip. His body trembles. The shadows pool in front of him and stretch the darkness he creates.
"I can't," Thorne breathes, all fear. "You'll hate me. I'm - "
Something shifts up and curls over his frame from the left. A talon catches moonlight. If Chris looks, his eyes might deceive him into thinking there is a piece of night reflected here in the room -
Thorne tries to coil closer to himself, the antlers raking up and pulsing like they've caught stars in their velvet.
He'd been called a creature enough times to know that this was just dragging the truth out in the open. He couldn't even allow himself to feel the sure thrum of power drumming through him. The way it felt suddenly right to be like this. That it felt safer.
But it wasn't safe, it wasn't right.
Chris would turn on the lights or look at him and -
"I'm not human," Thorne breathed, and it tasted harsh and acrid on his lips. "Not anymore. Maybe never. I'm not - "
You'll hate me, he thought, and the pain of that concept slit in him like a knife.
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Posted: Sun Sep 18, 2016 8:56 pm
solace in the strangest place
Chris can see the shadows pooling and creating the darkness, coming to Thorne's call, coming to defend. To protect. He watches it quietly but then lets it go, focuses on Thorne.
"No," Chris says, gentle, quiet. "No, I won't. I don't hate you and I won't hate you."
His eye catches something moving though, something that doesn't look quite like shadow. He watches but he can't place it, it just looks like there is night in the room. For all he knows it's related to Thorne's new antlers and he's confused. Wishes desperately for more light.
But Thorne didn't want it if the lights weren't on, if he weren't in the darkest part of the warehouse and Chris wouldn't betray him like that. He'd coax him out in his own way.
"Just give me your hand," Chris says, patiently. "It's okay, it doesn't matter. Just give me your hand, let me sit here with you."
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Posted: Sun Sep 18, 2016 9:19 pm
solace in the strangest place
Thorne feels Chris's words soften him, comfort him, and wants to believe them. But he can feel the weight of these antlers and he knows - he knows - he knows. Thorne knows what he is.
I won't hate you, Chris says, and Thorne can't help it.
He looks up at the other, eyes wide and inhuman. The iris is cat-like, but the colors around it sift in colors of silver starlight and night-blue patterns. Galactic and glowing, they strike on Chris and stay. His ears are tipped, pointed, and the fawn-like spots follow the trail out from his cheeks to their tips. He is inhuman. Fae-like. A noble.
Like her. Like her.
"Really?" He breathes, and it's nearly like a challenge, but the fear inside of him pushes it out. "You really believe that?"
He trembles, shudders, and after a long moment of hesitating, unwinds one hand. And then he looks at Chris.
"Not yet - not until - "
And he unfurls. He's languid and predatory, hands pressed to the floor, legs beneath him. There's a sound, like wind howling, and those slices of night come down and fold up around him, graceful and elegant, tipped in curving talons that shimmer in the same color as his antlers.
Thorne bows his head, the wings resting around him, a half-cocoon.
"Yes or no?" He asks, the words stinging his throat.
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Posted: Sun Sep 18, 2016 9:32 pm
solace in the strangest place
It's a waiting game at this point but Chris is good at these. He's patient and he can sit there with Thorne, sit until he believes Chris. So he settles into something that isn't a crouch and waits.
It doesn't take long.
Thorne looks at him and his eyes are different and Chris is blown away because as unearthly and unusual as they are, they are beautiful. He's enchanted by their glow and he almost misses the other details of change, the fawn spots on his face, the pointed ears.
He is inhuman and Chris is astounded because he is beautiful.
"Yes," Chris says, breathy. Still amazed by what he's seeing. "I wouldn't say it if I didn't."
Chris reaches for the hand he's offered, tenatively placing it out but he waits because Thorne is asking and-
Oh.
To say he isn't afraid would be a lie. Because some part of Chris is terrified at this change, at these wings that humans do not have, shouldn't have. Some part of him wants to run, because this is totally alien to him.
But long ago Chris had silenced that rational part, had told it to stop because Ashdown existed, because this was something he had to deal with. And so instead of acting on that fear he stares in wonder, takes a gentle gasp. He is looking upon a lord, a beautiful creature, and Thorne is scared that he'll leave.
"Yes," Chris says and grasps Thorne's hand tightly. Squeezes it gently. "You're amazing," He whispers, and then after a beat says, "Did you know your eyes are glowing?"
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Posted: Sun Sep 18, 2016 10:16 pm
solace in the strangest place
Thorne tilts his head at the other, and -
Oh.
He blinks. He cannot help it. His breath stutters and he's not sure how to handle it, and there's a certain glassiness in his eyes that seems to only accentuate the glow, the colors. His chest feels heavy, heavy, heavy. There is something awake in him - he thinks it might be happiness, but it's so heavy that it feels like a different breed of hurt.
Thorne shakes when Chris takes his hand. He shakes because he doesn't know this kindness. Has never known it, not really.
"Are you sure," he breathes, and his voice is vulnerable and raw. Lower and hungry and intense, his eyes brilliant and vibrant in the dark. And Chris calls him amazing, and he thinks he might simply stop breathing right then and there.
He tangles his fingers with Chris's, holding on like it's a lifeline. Slowly, he moves closer, as though scared he'll get too close and Chris will run away. Until he is stilling cross legged on the floor before the other, his wings lowering until they simply fan out across the floor, the membrane shuddering the same as him.
He cannot help it, he laughs when Chris asks him that question. It is a soft, vulnerable sound.
"I was more concerned with the fact that I have wings and antlers that glow in the dark," he says, looks up at Chris. "Amazing?" he echoes, as though he cannot quite comprehend, and the smile fades a little to that raw vulnerability. "I - they called us nobles. I am - something else, Chris. Not mortal."
He looks down.
"I want you to stay," he adds, an echo, "But I'll understand if you - "
And he cannot finish the sentence for the enormity of it. That same loneliness, atrophying his chest.
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Posted: Sun Sep 18, 2016 10:50 pm
solace in the strangest place
It's only something Chris has noticed now, but every time something happens Thorne always looks shocked that Chris wants to stay. That he's not walking away from Thorne, not walking out on him. It's always subtle, in the way he breathes, in the look in his eyes, but it's there.
And oh, does it make Chris' heart hurt.
He's upset for a second, angry. Wants to hurt anyone who's ever walked out on Thorne because there's always some resignation there that he won't be wanted and it kills Chris to the core. But it won't help anything now and so Chris lets it burn but then shoves it down. Makes sure it won't affect the moment.
"Yes," Chris says again, an echo, and makes no move to let go of Thorne's hand. He grasps tighter, their intertwined fingers an anchor in the dark. A point of contact that's real.
He wants to touch Thorne's wings, curiosity only growing as Thorne comes closer. They are beautiful as they are powerful but keeps his hand to himself, simply watches. He has so many questions, but he knows that Thorne himself might not even have the answers. It's all right, for once.
"Well you can see those things," Chris replies easily, almost flippantly. "You can't exactly see your eyes, which are beautiful by the way." He tears his eyes away from Thorne's wings to look at him, actually look at him.
That hurt, that fear is there once more and Chris isn't willing to let it stay.
"I'm staying," He says firmly. "I doubt I'm quite mortal myself, with all this magic. So what if you're a noble? You're still Thorne, you're still home."
He quiets for a second, then squeezes the hand he's holding gently.
"You're amazing and I'm staying for however long you'll have me."
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Posted: Sun Sep 18, 2016 11:16 pm
solace in the strangest place
Thorne watches Chris, feels like he's falling, and doesn't know what to expect at the end. His entire body thrums with this new power. He has been aware of it, like a lurking, like a whisper, for the past few days, but until now he did not realize the full depth of it.
Of everything.
Of him and Chris and what it might mean for them both.
His breath stills in his throat as Chris speaks again. For once he is speechless, kept tethered to this world by Chris's warmth and the way his body reacts. His stomach drops and his heart aches and oh, this must be what it feels like to free fall, no landing in sight.
"Beautiful," he echoes disbelievingly, and laughs. "Perhaps. But I can see you, and I already know which is the more gorgeous sight."
It is a ghosting tease, a gentle probe. He wants to return to the comfort, to the simple sanctity that Chris provides him. But he still struggles to understand that he is wanted, even like this. He feels somehow like he is in another dream, not quite a nightmare. Just a terrible reality. One where he is alone.
But he isn't.
Thorne bites his lips.
He's not.
Chris is here, and that matters. That matters so much that he can barely breathe from the weight of it. The understanding that seems to fragile and full of hope to hold in his hands.
Thorne does not think before he reaches his other hand up and pulls it around Chris's shoulders, dragging them the final few inches so that he can hug the blond. He burrows his head in the others shoulder, careful of the antlers so that they do not hit him with their velvet softness.
He takes a deep breath, shuddering.
His wings flutter and rise, an inherent reaction. They shelter the two of them, and yes, it is like being in the wilderness for how the membrane on the inside seems to reflect the night sky, winking with stars and far away galaxies. Not as bright or as active as the antlers. But a subtle splash of color. A system of worlds being born.
"That's all I want to be," Thorne says, a soft low rawness in his tone. He stays like this, head bent, eyes closed, just breathing. Just feeling Chris's heat. "And you should be careful to say things like that to me. I'd ask you for forever. I'd always want you to come back."
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Posted: Sun Sep 18, 2016 11:31 pm
solace in the strangest place
Thorne's silence is about as strange as his newfound appearance, Chris is so used to hearing his voice. Filling the silence, the edges where Chris falls short, when he can't find what he wants to say. It feels strange and Chris isn't sure if he wants to break it or not, if it's okay.
He just wants Thorne to believe that Chris will stay.
"You tease," Chris says, laughs. "We all know here that you're the beautiful one, where I just woke up a few minutes ago. I wouldn't even compare to a trashcan, right now."
He pauses, in consideration. "Or ever, for that matter."
It's a gentle tease back, a small step in their routine. Chris finds the comfort in it, the familiarity, and holds it close. Lets it warm him, chase away anything that is doubtful. Lets him hope Thorne will see his own worth.
It surprises him when Thorne pulls him forward into a hug, his head meeting his shoulder. Chris is quick to recover though, to wrap his other arm around Thorne and hold him tight. Let him know that he was there for him, was going to be there for him.
His wings wrap around and for a second, Chris is stunned. How Thorne could not see the beauty was beyond him, for it was like being in a night sky. It was like seeing galaxies being born in a small space, it was quite literally like being in their own plant of space.
The ache of whoever hurt Thorne returns and Chris could cry.
But instead he just tugs Thorne closer, just shuffles his arm up so he can rest his hand on the back of Thorne's neck. Just breathes.
"I'd come back for forever," Chris says, honest, open. "I'd come back for you a million lifetimes and more."
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Posted: Sun Sep 18, 2016 11:46 pm
solace in the strangest place
Thorne scoffs and lifts his head. He looks at Chris, looks at him and he knows that this form, the magic of it, had been built from the stars and the night and the shadows. But he looks at Chris and he sees a galaxy that is only theirs.
There is no place on earth that can reflect it, can see it.
He presses their foreheads together.
"Oh yes, there's no denying I am a beautiful disaster," he says, "I haven't even checked for fangs yet. But you - "
He sucks in a breath.
"I will not have these lies," he says, a gentle tease, too raw to be completely a joke. His voice dips, raw and intense, low and husky. "I will see what you are, even when you don't. And you are beautiful, Chris. You are worth it."
Because they have been in each others presence enough now that Thorne has pressed his fingers up against that creature within Chris, that thing that whispers to him that he isn't worth it. That he isn't something to look for in the crowd. That he isn't -
But he is.
And Thorne knows better than to knock, than to try and whisper into it submission. Not yet, because they are new and he doesn't know that Chris will listen yet. But one day, he thinks. One day.
But Thorne lets his hands rest against Chris, the pads of his fingers tracing soft circles against him.
"You're the first," Thorne murmurs, a confession, and he sounds reverential. Like Chris is his salvation. "This world is a cycle. And I - "
He sucks in a harsh breath, remembers Pax's words.
"I will wait for you." His wings send a soft wind whistling through the warehouse as they lower and wrap around Chris, a half-cocoon of comfort, of trust.
"Until every star burns out from the sky. Until this world collapses. Until it all, I will wait for you."
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Posted: Sun Sep 18, 2016 11:56 pm
solace in the strangest place
Chris closes his eyes at the close contact, as their foreheads come together and he feels like something is falling into place.
"Not a disaster," Chris hushes, frowning. Thorne was more than simply a disaster, Thorne was... well. He was Thorne.
He quiets at his words though, his breath being held. It's hard to believe, hard to accept. Half his life the teasing had been made around his looks - too dark and blond to get acceptance in Korea, too Korean to get acceptance in America. A polarizing affect, knowing that his looks did this. He grew up and it got better, it hid itself away, but it never really was a complex that went away. He just accepted that he wasn't going to be considered anything beautiful.
He just accepted that he was Chris and only Chris and there were many more people to take the spotlight before him. Many more that were worth it.
So it's hard to believe Thorne, but he knows he means it. He takes a shocked breath, and then another. Chris can't find the words he wants, so he manages to squeeze out a slightly doubtful, "Okay." Hope that it does, that Thorne won't question it.
"I shouldn't be," Chris murmurs back, enjoying the feel of Thorne's fingers. "We're in a cycle and in every iteration I will find you."
He pauses for a second and then it's a breath, a dare, but - "We will find each other."
It's a truth.
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Posted: Mon Sep 19, 2016 12:11 am
noticed that I was in pain
Chris is being incredibly stupid.
He doesn't entirely know his limits yet, has never had a reason to learn them. In normal Ashdown, magic is limited to such a degree that Chris rarely uses it. It causes such alarm that he doesn't want to bother and he can't do anything exactly that he would do in Other Ashdown. So he limits himself to the occasional breeze, to talking to the plants and for the most part it's fine.
It's when he learns how to summon spirits Chris gets in trouble.
Heddy is a frequent summon at Coalsmoke, seeing as she's the only one of the many plants that responds to Chris. He's tried with almost everything, but it's either not big enough to come or just doesn't trust Chris enough. He's asked Heddy about it and she gives Chris a shrug - she knew he was safe because of the other ivy, could feel that he had interacted with a spirit of it before. The other plants would take their time.
So it's not a surprise that she spends the most time out with Chris, helping him water the plants and tend to them. He's started to grow a pair of pots of culinary lavender and Heddy helps him with their growth, helps him spot the plants that need to be shifted and moved around. She's a great help and curiously enough, enjoys being out. Enjoys moving around and being picked up by Chris and Thorne, enjoys petting the cats.
He's incredibly fond of her.
Today isn't any different, Chris has summoned Heddy to help him water everything and start to move things around, the longest time she's been out by far. They've just finished moving and watering everything outside, lasting most of the morning and starting to trickle into noon. He's standing by a pot of the lavender, a glass of water in his hand, when something feels off.
Behind him, Heddy gives him a very curious sounding "Chris?"
Her entire left arm has gone transparent and she looks less alarmed then just curious, wondering what's going on. Chris blinks and he wants to reply but she's just gone - like normal, like she's been dismissed, and Chris doesn't know what to do.
The world suddenly whirls in a kaleidoscope of colors and the glass slips out of Chris' hand, with him following it to the ground.
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Posted: Mon Sep 19, 2016 11:58 am
noticed that I was in pain
Thorne has been contemplating his wardrobe for the past several days.
Though he doesn't make a habit of inhabiting his noble form when there's a threat of anyone outside of Chris making a surprise appearance, he cannot help but feel safer in it. This wouldn't be a problem - but wings and antlers make what should otherwise be a simple wardrobe impractical, especially because he accidentally sacrificed a shirt without realizing it once already.
He's still contemplating it, actually, dressed in a half-sleeve henley and faded black jeans, when he hears the crash.
Thorne is racing for the door before he can get it in his head that maybe Chris just dropped a pot or something stupid, his mouth opening around, "Hey, are you - "
When he slides to a stop at the entrance and sees Chris on the ground.
"s**t," he swears, loudly, viciously, and nearly cuts his bare feet on the shattered glass. He has to force himself to be careful in pulling Chris into his lap, his fingers finding a pulse before he can think about anything else. It is second nature to him by now.
It flutters beneath the pad of his finger and he exhales a sharp breath.
"Chris," he says, "can you hear me?"
But it's obvious the the other can't, and Thorne trembles, trying to remember to stay calm. He checks for any signs of injury other than the cuts from the broken glass - but Chris had said he wasn't allergic to anything in particular, right? And he looks uninjured - is it Other Ashdown playing tricks?
Thorne had known he'd summoned Heddy, but now she was nowhere. Gone again.
They were alone. His breath hitched.
They were alone.
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