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It's safe to say that Chris and Thorne are for, the most part, a quiet pair. They get along great, have similar interests, and actually enjoy each other's company that fights are rare. Hell, even their cats enjoy each other, which while probably isn't a challenge is a nice bit of information that adds to the weird domestic lifestyle that has become theirs at Coalsmoke.

This however, is one of the days where Chris and Thorne are at odds with each other.

Thorne had been starting to bake another loaf of banana bread, which was starting to become a staple at Coalsmoke, while Chris had been coming in and out to water the plants outside. Chris liked the bread, they ate enough of it, and it was good cold or warmed up which was great when they were trying to eat without waking another when they were sleeping.

The problem was when Thorne had tried to add nuts.

"SAY IT, SAY NUTS DON'T BELONG IN BANANA BREAD," Chris yells, pinning Thorne down with his knee and most of his bodyweight. The argument had gotten out of hand pretty fast and he probably should have been worried that the whole neighborhood could hear them, considering the front door was open. But Coalsmoke was, for lack of a better word, in a complete shithole of an area and he wasn't too worried.

elkbones

no regret

Jeremiah did not normally answer calls like this because he was long, long past that point within the precinct. Except that when the call came in for what sounded like a domestic dispute and a noise complaint and he knew the address, he snatched it up.

Nor did he quite expect what he found when he reached the propped open door and saw the two scrambling against one another as stepped inside.

The detective lieutenant smoothed a hand across his face, breathed in deep, and then - in a far too calm, far too even voice - spoke, "To be quite honest, I thought I raised the two of you better than this."

Thorne scoffs, the sound derisive in his throat.

"I'm sure even Korea had rocks to raise nut hating heathens like you under," he responds, giving another violent wiggle in an attempt to dislodge the blond from his back.

Jeremiah appears though, and Thorne freezes for a split second. If he had any dignity left to spare on this moment in time, he might have blushed or looked vaguely guilty, or even gone so far as to stop -

Instead, Chris loosens his grip on Thorne enough for him to flip Chris over onto the floor, throwing one leg over and placing his palms on the blonds shoulders to keep him down.

"And you're an absolute heathen," he says, and smirks at Chris, all teeth. "I win."

He looks up Jeremiah.

"To be honest," he says, shamelessly, "so did I."

"Oh sure, call me the crazy one because I don't like nuts in banana bread. You know I'm right though!" Chris bites back, still leaning down on Thorne.

It was probably best that Jer took a video of that flip, because in minutes Chris was yelling in outrage, kicking his legs uselessly as he tries to get out from under Thorne. His arms raised in anger, unable to reach.

"You do NOT! I do not yield!" He yells, giving Thorne a very unimpressed glare and scowl. He turns his head to Jer, looking at him in outrage as well.

"Why are you taking his side!" He cries, watching him step in. He's still struggling against Thorne, although it's useless.

He at least has the decency to be ashamed, a slight blush on his face as he avoids Jer's look. It's definitely the disappointed dad look and Chris wants absolutely none of it. "I didn't think there was anyone around in the area besides us to care," He grumbles, still very pointedly avoiding everyone's gaze.

elkbones

azuredreams

"Again, I repeat: I thought I raised the two of you better than this. Especially in being aware of surroundings." This time his lips twitched in amusement even though he should be taking this very seriously. There really was a police call put in. He sighed finally, something overly dramatic on purpose and came over to the pair.

"At least one of you seems to have learned something ..." Which was an acknowledgement that Thorne clearly was Jeremiah's son with the opportunistic behavior and enjoyment of immortalized videos of victory. "There was no accusations of anyone's sanity - at least not until it was clear you two were fighting over whether or not there can be nuts in the banana bread." Jeremiah sighed. "Just make with and one with out or if you're lacking in bread pans ... make it half and half."

Not that this isn't amusing to watch, the two of them scrambling and scraping with one another. At least until Thorne is very pointedly, very pleased with himself, laying across Chris.

"... and don't even think about being pleased with yourself because this got me out of the office, I'm still going to have to make a report." Jeremiah looked them both over. "You're both heathens and, to be quite frank, I'm not sure whether or not I shouldn't just handcuff the both of you to each other until you sort it all out."

Except that now Jeremiah was clearly participating but his participation was in the category of Chris and Thorne were thickheaded and missing the point.

Thorne sighed.

"Heat of the moment, Jeremiah," he responded, though he sounded slightly guilty, "Haven't you done the same, somewhere in that dark past of yours?" His grin turned cat-like, eyes flicking over the ornery detective and back to his prize.

"The apple doesn't fall far from the tree," he retorted. "And I learn from the best. And baking is extremely important to ones - " he paused, blinked, stuttered, "friendship in life. Shouldn't Alg be on the side of baking as worth of such efforts?"

The idea to make two loaves did, however, make Thorne realize the absurdity of their situation. It wasn't like they were running low on ingredients, or pans.

"That defeats the purpose of winning this fight though," Thorne put out, but it was a weak response, and he could only smile sheepishly at Jer.

Chris interrupted, and Thorne was more than happy to curl a little more on his body, stretch out so that his hip bone hit Chris mid-back.

"Alg is not here and I am the favored son anyways," Thorne quipped. "I have wooed him with enough alcohol to drown a small army of pigeons." He carefully omits the part on baked goods. With Jer already thinking about handcuffing them, he doesn't need another reason to get booked.

"I'm the master in general," Thorne retorts, tugging at one of Chris's bangs, "But the fact that you insulted nuts was unforgivable."

He rolls off of Chris and picks himself up, offering a hand to the blond.

The kinky comment is taken in stride, and Thorne turns his eyes to Jer with a laugh.

"Now, now, Jeremiah," he teased, "At least let me take him out for dinner first. I'm not just a heathen." He laughed, wolfish. "Anyways, where do you think we learned it from?"

"Unfair, I demand secrets," Chris said, sounding put out. He too wanted to know about Jeremiah's dark past, Alg's as well really, but he had been denied as well in the past and was determined as ever to learn.

Chris rolled his eyes at Thorne's stutter, as well as his vague coverup on Alg. He knew he brought him lemon tarts, the traitor.

"Ha, you're Junior Master Baker," Chris said, spotting victory where he could get it. "It doesn't matter about Alg anyways, I'm his favorite and you know it and I can forgive him for liking nuts because it's Alg."

He grunted at Thorne's tug at his bangs but let it be. He'd done it plenty of times that he was used to it by now, completely unfazed. When Thorne rolled off of him he took his hand gratefully, hauling himself up with a laugh.

"Baking doesn't really count when it's just him in the kitchen and me yelling from the couch," Chris pointed out, a teasing smile on his face. "Oh god no they wouldn't make us behave better, we'd probably get into more wrestling over who got to do what. Unless it was in bed. Then it'd be better."

He totally meant cuddling, but he knew it sounded like something else and he was going to keep on rolling with it.

elkbones

azuredreams

Jeremiah's mind was practically screaming gay for eachother at him but he instead bit the inside of his cheek.

"Perhaps I could be convinced to go with Mercer Baker Apprentice." There was a pause. "Only because Junior Master Baker is not that far away from Junior Master Baiter." Oh he went there. There was even a deliberate deadpan stare at the two that were helping each other up.

... and the banter. These two, heaven help him, had it bad. How were they so blind? How did Chris completely misread Thorne?

"I take it back. Clearly handcuffing you to each other is rewarding bad behavior." Jeremiah then pointed to opposite sides of the kitchen. "To your sides, gentleman. Clean up yourselves and your mess on each side of the kitchen."

Entirely serious too. While he shuffled through how to sort out the mess that was oblivious Chris and clearly pining Thorne.