|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Tue Sep 13, 2016 5:04 pm
The weight of the ball was too much. While she'd mostly slept off the Blackfriars, Autumn found she couldn't shake the guilt from saving Melany, the guilt from failing Adoelle, the hatred of people who barely knew her and wouldn't let her explain. At night, there was blood- so, so much blood- and she woke up in cold sweats, sobbing. Reliving Adoelle going limp under her watch. The impassiveness of the court, of the men who had orchestrated the pain and the deaths. She still didn't know them, aside from Ezra. And somehow, despite it all, she couldn't find herself hating them.
The moon had risen high in the sky, and stood as her only companion. She'd gone out to the park, alone, to just... think. To try to come to terms with it all. If not for Zac, she'd just leave. It'd work well enough- the world seemed to want her gone. Find a new town, make a new start. Not get so involved next time. But then... if destiny was involved, if these past lives were to be believed, the next her would just be back. Hurt worse, suffer more.
Autumn sighed, laying in the grass. Even the quiet of Other Ashdown was too loud, whispering her doubts and failures to her in the silence. She knew she'd be okay again, eventually. It was just a matter of when, she figured.
It had to be.shibrogane quest thread quote for you! DMRP with an old enemy?
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Sep 17, 2016 1:32 pm
"And what is it you think you'll find up there," asked Ezra. One moment, he hadn't been there. The next, he was, leaning back on his hands to look at the strange patterns of the stars overhead. "The stars will not answer you, Autumn."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Sep 17, 2016 1:42 pm
So many questions on the tip of her tongue, so many things she could say. Autumn wanted to yell, to tell this man off for always being the shadow at the back of her mind. For haunting her friends, for haunting her. But every time she thought she understood him, another curve was thrown in the game. Another wrench she hadn't been ready for. She didn't get up, but forced herself to turn and look at the Burning Man. At Ezra, that damnable name humanizing him.
"I don't get you," she said, plainly. "You hurt me. You wanted to hurt Zac. And now, suddenly, everyone loves you despite kidnapping people."
The stars didn't have her answers, but they were always there. Silent and sure, as the song went. Stars didn't go from bad to good.
"Are you here to kill me for saving Melany? Or what?" There was no fight, not even in accusation in the words. She was too tired. Resigned to whatever fate was throwing at her this time.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Sep 17, 2016 1:45 pm
"I wish you had let her die," said Ezra plainly. "I hurt you because there was a place you needed to go. A skill you had to learn. Imagine if you hadn't been able to heal as you do, where my sons would be now." He leaned forward, crossing his legs before him. He looked--alarmingly human, like this--the two moons reflecting off the bone-white curve of his skull. "I took Alois and Rabbit because I know the path they would otherwise take. Preventing them from becoming me is worth any amount of weight on my soul."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Sep 17, 2016 1:52 pm
"What's the difference between you two? And this isn't an accusation, just wanting answers. Because from where I'm sitting- laying, I guess- I'm just not seeing it." They had both hurt, kidnapped, manipulated and lied. Why was one above the other? Was she just supposed to take that as it was, overlook it all because suddenly he was feeling up to it?
"I don't even hate you," she sighed, sitting up to address him more properly. "Don't get me wrong, I still don't trust you, or like you. But I can't even hate you. Probably wouldn't have let you die, either."
He looked... Almost human. Tangible, in this light. Less the stuff of her nightmares and more a man caught up in a cycle of s**t he'd never wanted. Had he been one of them, once? The visitors, trying to break the cycle?
This whole place was an inconsistent crock of s**t, and she hated it. At least you never questioned Voldemort's motives.
"So... You hurt them to help them, is what I'm getting at. Why?" She asked, fixing him with a look.
"You keep talking about our paths, and s**t. What about you? What's your angle?"shibrogane making her QUESTION THINGS and s**t, damn u shibe
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Sep 17, 2016 2:00 pm
"A long time ago," he said. "A long... long time ago... I was like you. A healer." He looked down at his hands. "I tried to help the people around me, however I could, whenever I could. And in the end, it didn't matter. The body could live, but in the end, we still failed. Renard won, and we died. As always." He sighed. "So I asked Melany--or the girl Melany was--to help me change it." He looked over to Autumn. "She died. What she is now isn't Melany Beandorcha anymore." Ezra laughed, then. "It has changed. As you can see."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Sep 17, 2016 2:12 pm
"So Renard is, then." A confirmation she'd needed, just to be sure. No point in lying on this, about this. Not when it seemed, despite their means, their ends were the same. And then, Autumn wondered- had they ever been friends? Had she ever worked with Ezra, healed alongside him?
Would this be what she became, if they failed too many times? A boogeyman, doing the wrong thing to try and find the happy ending?
"So. You want us to change it, this time. Since Melany's a monster, and so am I." The ringing crowing of monster in the hall, despite doing what she thought was right. The burden she had not asked for.
"What do you want me to do, then?" A pregnant pause, lingering in the air, and then.
"...And what can I do? For. For Alois and Rab-- Bennett, specifically. I get that you're like, trying to improve them. Spare the rod, spoil the child, that s**t and all. But they're struggling. Falling apart at the seams."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Sep 17, 2016 10:21 pm
"He's part of it," said Ezra. "The start of it. I knew him when it began." He blinked, cat-like, at Autumn. His eyes were oddly prominent in the flames, flickering coals ducking in and out of existence. "You're no monster," he said. "You're growing. Children do that." He examined his fingernails. "Be a friend. You can't save them just like they can't save you." Ezra sighed. "You have to save yourselves."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Sep 18, 2016 9:50 am
"Yeah, I figured as much," she agreed, though wasn't pleased by the inability to save her friends at all. And yet, wasn't it to be expected? All of this healing s**t, and it just seemed to be a giant exercise in futility. You can't save them, Adoelle has to die. One great reminder of her ******** after another. But this wasn't really the time for an existential crisis. It was, unfortunately, like Ezra had said. The answers weren't in the stars.
"So, two more questions, if you don't mind. Since you're not roasting my lungs out this time."
Her voice held no contempt this time. Just exhausted acceptance. A complete lack of desire to fight the issue.
"Number one... were you and I ever friends? In a different... cycle, I guess? I know you knew him at the beginning, but what about the rest of us?"
Autumn worried her lip, and then.
"And number two... if I can't save them, what AM I supposed to do with my powers? For all this great and powerful Oz s**t, I really feel like the man behind the curtain. Like I'm not making a big difference. Or any bit of a difference, really."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Sep 22, 2016 4:18 am
"You can't save them," repeated Ezra. "But you do make a difference. You can support them, be friends with them, stand close and offer your hand to them--watch their backs. You're only one person and you're not enough to save the world. But if you stop looking at yourself in the mirror and berating yourself for being human, you'll notice there are others who can help you even as you help them. "At the beginning?" He laughed. He rose to his feet. "Dear girl. Your beginning was a long, long time past mine."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Sep 22, 2016 10:59 am
"Yeah, yeah. Real philosophical," Autumn sighed, having already accepted the answer. She would always be there, as a friend. It was what she did. Even when her own needs grew too great, Autumn stuck around for those around her. It was just who she was. She sighed and also took to her feet, despite herself.
"And that... didn't really answer my question. I know we started at different times- but was there ever a version of me you knew? Or were friends with?" It was just... odd. Coming to terms with the fact Ezra was Ezra, not just the burning boogeyman at the back of her mind. And had been a healer, once. What a weird world.
"...And why the ******** are you after people's hearts, anyway? Zac's, specifically."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Sep 22, 2016 6:27 pm
Ezra snorts. "Haven't you ever heard of a metaphor, dear girl?"
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Sep 22, 2016 6:40 pm
"Metaphors are a** and you're a piece of s**t. You're lucky I learned my lesson last time," Autumn grumbled, but entirely without malice. Instead she regarded him, unimpressed.
"Well. Thanks for what might've been one of the weirdest chats of my life. And not roasting my a** off this time. I'd offer to shake your hand, but I don't have a death wish."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Sep 24, 2016 7:31 pm
"As you wish," said Ezra. "I hope you have a safe trip home." Moonstone Dazzle and that's a wrap on my end
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
