[This solo is backdated to the 6th September]

It was a Tuesday when Arian made the drive up from Blaenau Ffestiniog to Betws y Coed.

He had been staying at the Tal-y-Bont, a country house-style bed and breakfast located in the Snowdonia National Park. It was his ninth day back in the UK and his seventh since parting from his cousin after the couple of days that they had spent together in London.

He wasn't due to see her again until just over a week's time and whilst Saffy had offered to come up with him to Wales, Arian had kind of wanted to be on his own for the trip.

He had taken it slow having taken a train from Euston to Chester and then had hired a car so that he wouldn't have to be completely reliant on the vagaries of public transport.

It had been evening when he made it to the bed and breakfast that he had decided to stay at, but the hosts had been welcoming and friendly.

It had felt... Odd being back, felt strange to believe that he had spent the first 16 years of his life growing up in this country and it had felt weird sleeping through the night instead of slipping out to patrol as Athene.

This was the UK and not Destiny City though and that meant that he could be just Arian.

He had followed his hosts suggestions and spent some time walking the trails in the national park and had spent a day driving up to visit the Llechwedd Slate Caverns.

He'd picked up some souvenirs from there - a slate clock for Anxo and personalised slate tea light holders for Gigi and the twins - as well as some postcards to write and send to his friends back in the States.

Today though he had got up early and made the 14 something mile trip along the A470, stopping only to top up his petrol and grab a quick chocolate bar snack and then later pick up some flowers at a florists that he was passing by along the route.

Betws y Coed was where his Nain had lived and where Arian remembered taking frequent trips as a child - well at least logically he knew that he had taken frequent trips as a child before the accident - but whilst the town was a lovely looking picturesque town - it felt just as unfamiliar as everywhere else had been.

His mother was buried here, as was his little sister, it being one of his mother's wishes to be buried in her home town and his Nain was buried here too.

It was quiet at the cemetary as Arian made his way to where the three were buried towards the back of the graveyard, the flower bouquets cradled carefully in his arms.

The burial plot was clean but bare and Arian carefully set a bouquet down in front of each gravestone before moving to stand in front of his mother's grave.

"It's been a while Mam" his voice was soft, quiet, his thoughts on just how long it had been. "But I'm back at least for a little bit."

He hesitated for a few moments before continuing "Father's getting married in just under two weeks and I'm still not sure how I feel about it."

He sighed "I know I should be happy for him - that you would be happy" because Arian did that he should be happy that his father was remarrying, that his father was moving on with his life.

"But it kind of feels like he's replacing you, replacing us." He laughed, the quiet laughter tinged with bitterness as he continued "And it's not like father and I really have any kind of relationship so I don't know why they want me to be at this wedding."

Because they hadn't had any real, meaningful relationship in years - his father's preferred method of 'communication' pretty much to send money.

There was a time when Arian would have given almost anything just to have his father smile at him - for them to have a real conversation.. A real relationship.

But...

"I know that I can't make father happy" the words were wistful, Arian unaware that he had spoken them aloud "Not like she seems to be able to and I know that it's because when he sees me that he keeps seeing you."

But Arian couldn't help the fact that somehow genetics had fallen out to make him strongly resemble his mother, no more than he could have known how a car journey would end all those years back.

All he could do was keep going forward as best he could.

He wasn't sure how long he spent there talking to his mother's gravestone, conversation shifting as he talked about living in the States and Saffy and then moving on to talk about his classes - about his time at Meadowview and then later on at DCU.

In the end it was the loud grumbles from his stomach that brought Arian's rambling conversations to an end, a glance at his watch enough to confirm that he had spent far longer than he'd intended at the graveyard.

"I'm going to go for the day" he said quietly and perhaps he should have felt silly for the amount of time that he'd spent speaking to a gravestone.. To a set of gravestones.

He didn't.

Instead he said quietly "I don't really want to go to the wedding Mam, but I promised Saffy and so I will.. But I'll also come back here before I have to leave Wales - because I have one more thing that I want to tell you."

A small wave and then Arian was turning, hesitating for a moment as he looked back and added "And I promise that I'll bring more flowers next time - bright ones - because I remember that you and Catrin liked things bright." He glanced towards Nain's headstone as he added softly "And I'll bring something with feathers for you."

And then Arian turned and started walking again and this time he didn't look back.

-- 1011 words --