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 Posted: Thu Mar 23, 2006 4:49 pm
Suffice it to say, I'm more than a little confused. I will admit to be a fairl jealous spouse. I don't like to share, and quite honestly I have yet to meet anyone who honestly does. But that's about as far as my jealousy goes.
I've had a small group of friends (3 guys and 1 girl + me) who have been my best friends since I was 14. We did everything together in high school and have done everything together afterwards as well. We supported eachother in every endeavor even if we didn't like it personally.
And like as many other male/female friendships go, we all had crushes on each other at differing times. But it never amounted to anything but best friend friendships.
Well, the other girl in the group got married last summer and the guys were....wary of it but soon accepted her new hubby, and life was good again. (the boys aren't fond of new males being entered into the group unless necessary) Well, then I got engaged and again the boys were wary and a little more standoffish, but soon fell into a groove of comfortableness around my soon-to-be hubby.
Well, I got married. And now they are acting liek complete jerks! They left my reception as it barely began saying they were bored and then I come to find out that two of the three (who bullied the 3rd into lying to say he was bored when he wasn't) are extremely angry that I actually got married because they both of huge crushes on me........
Forgive me, but did they or did they not have me in there lives for 4 years before AJ did? They're the ones that weren't willing to date not me?
But now, everything is all awkward and angry, and I'm afraid of losing two of my best friends. Getting married is supposed to be a happy event...not one that spawns jealousy and anger.
And I'm very lost on what to do now. cry
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Posted: Thu Mar 23, 2006 5:45 pm
If they're gonna be jerks about it they're not worth it. I know it's not gonna be easy, but you're right. They had a chance to ask you out. They don't have a right to be angry with you because you did something to make you happy. confused
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Posted: Thu Mar 23, 2006 8:52 pm
Don't let something this trivial bother you. You JUST got married, you should be focusing on having some time to yourselves. If they are going to be so self-absorbed and selfish enough to not be a REAL friend to you, they aren't worth it. Also, have you actually talked to this about this, sat down and they told you that's the reason?
I'd just get rid of the drama now, it's something you don't need. I, personally, find that my husband is not just my friend but my family and family comes first. True friends won't act like that.
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Posted: Fri Mar 24, 2006 8:27 am
There's something Sars over at Tomatonation.com says in her advice column that I honestly agree with.
When one of the people in a friendship has a crush on another person in the friendship that it's no longer the same friendship, and most of the time a friendship at all. I mean it just isn't there's ALWAYS going to be this little bit of awkwardness even if those guys go off and get married themselves. There will still be that "heh, remember that one time, that one time I really liked you............awkward silence......"
Which is sort of evident by this little "walk out" they pulled on you.
Tell them you didn't appreciate it and leave it at that, if they want to grow up and come around and TRY they can, but don't molly coddle them or seek them out and try to figure out what their deal is. Because it totally won't help.
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Posted: Sat Mar 25, 2006 4:27 pm
lunashock Also, have you actually talked to this about this, sat down and they told you that's the reason? *sigh* No, I took the word of my best friend out of the group. While she was at work today I stopped by the boys' house to pick up their wedding gift to me and AJ, and found out a lot of things. My best friend....she is having a very hard time dealing with her jerk of a husband and him off in bootcamp. And from talking to the boys to find out what was going on with everyone, I found out that she's been lying to me and that nothing of what I was told was true.....except that they got bored at the reception. But they think AJ is great. Orion is actually having AJ train him to go into the Army in the next few months. So I got all bothered and upset over nothing.
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