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 Posted: Thu Nov 17, 2016 2:20 am
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cool4 XxAriaxX He lied to me to have spent the day alone, when he saw his ex and his ex gave him a gift to give to his nephew. When I asked who bought this he said it's himself. When I confronted him 1 week later he admitted it. So I told him my trust has lowered, and that he lies so well, that I wouldn't know, what he tells me is true or not and that I will only look into his actions. So, he is trying to convince me, he comes often to see me, he changed his cellphone background to a picture of us. He loved all pictures on my facebook. I never told him to do this, he is the one that is doing all those things, that I believe he wants me to trust him back. Yet, I am not. Because, he still has flashback while dating me. He has teary eyes, or he looks lost and perturbed. Then, he looks at me and says I love you. He invited to go traveling in the South for 1 week with his friend (a girl that want to plan her vacation with him and her friends, that I've never met), but I have classes at University and I have a part-time job that is hard to ask vacation when I am not there for like a year. I told him it's weird to travel with a friend that I've never met. Hearing that, he said if you come you can just stay with me, if you cannot I wont go .. If you are not there, what will I do with them. However, a few weeks later, when his friend asked him if he is coming, he said yes. he is planning to go with her, even without me. So, once again, what he says is not consistent. He changed his mind.... You gave him a hard no? Trust takes time to build. He knows his ex makes you uncomfortable, lying about seeing her was very much trying to keep you from being hurt by it. I think the things he's doing to make up for it are very superficial. He said he won't go on the vacation without you, make it clear you can't go, if he still goes he's not following what he has said and he's not worth the time. If he stays behind then he's just trying to keep you and his ex from being hurt. |
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Posted: Fri Nov 18, 2016 6:44 pm
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XxAriaxX cool4 XxAriaxX He lied to me to have spent the day alone, when he saw his ex and his ex gave him a gift to give to his nephew. When I asked who bought this he said it's himself. When I confronted him 1 week later he admitted it. So I told him my trust has lowered, and that he lies so well, that I wouldn't know, what he tells me is true or not and that I will only look into his actions. So, he is trying to convince me, he comes often to see me, he changed his cellphone background to a picture of us. He loved all pictures on my facebook. I never told him to do this, he is the one that is doing all those things, that I believe he wants me to trust him back. Yet, I am not. Because, he still has flashback while dating me. He has teary eyes, or he looks lost and perturbed. Then, he looks at me and says I love you. He invited to go traveling in the South for 1 week with his friend (a girl that want to plan her vacation with him and her friends, that I've never met), but I have classes at University and I have a part-time job that is hard to ask vacation when I am not there for like a year. I told him it's weird to travel with a friend that I've never met. Hearing that, he said if you come you can just stay with me, if you cannot I wont go .. If you are not there, what will I do with them. However, a few weeks later, when his friend asked him if he is coming, he said yes. he is planning to go with her, even without me. So, once again, what he says is not consistent. He changed his mind.... You gave him a hard no? Trust takes time to build. He knows his ex makes you uncomfortable, lying about seeing her was very much trying to keep you from being hurt by it. I think the things he's doing to make up for it are very superficial. He said he won't go on the vacation without you, make it clear you can't go, if he still goes he's not following what he has said and he's not worth the time. If he stays behind then he's just trying to keep you and his ex from being hurt. Everyone has memories of their past relationship right ? Do u think it is ok that i feel.frustrated whenever he says oh i did that with my ex . Like ... I wonder is it me or is it normal. Is he wrong to bring her up like that
You can be frustrated, and if you say you don't want to hear about his ex then he should respect that. If you ask him questions about her, or what not you shouldn't get upset if he answers them. He probably shouldn't bring her up all the time, but really you have to talk to him, tell him to stop, and if he continues you either have to live with it, or leave him. |
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Posted: Sat Dec 10, 2016 5:57 pm
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Miss_XxAriaxX Hi Cool4 , I have a personal question to ask you. In general, couples will all meet each other friends and one day family members. I would like to know if your boyfriend had met your ex because your ex is your friend... Was your ex interested to meet him and vice versa ? Do you think it's important that they meet? I'm sorry to ask personal question. No one around me is friend with their ex and I question a lot of things...
They've never met, I haven't really met my ex in person since we broke up, but we just occasionally talk to each other online a couple times a year. Though with my ex I was upfront that I was in a relationship. Granted during the time I broke up with my ex, I went to University on an Island and decided to make my life on that island since graduating, so My ex and I don't live anywhere near each other.
They've seen pictures of each other through social media, but as for meeting in person I have no intention of doing so, nor do I see a reason to. For me the only reason to have them meet is if there was a reason the ex would have to be heavily involved with my future relationships: example being if we had a child together, or were previously married, and possibly a few other rare cases. In other words if being in a relationship with me, meant a series of legal trouble, my current partner would probably end up meeting them. But that's never been the case. |
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Posted: Mon Jan 02, 2017 10:24 am
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Miss_XxAriaxX ah ok. my bf doesnt have children with his ex... she is not heavily involved but they chat weekly and I know his ex organize a lot of activities to go out, my bf doesnt go he is busy with work and he had an exam to study. I know he would meet her if he has the time and I am not that type of girl that will try to fill up all my bf time with me (like a friend told me to do so). I have to work too... Sundays he is free but I work so he often meet his friends family etc. I find it... weird. I dont really know how to describe it that if she is a friend even if she is the ex.I never get to meet her like I am not included in one of my bf circle of friends. I myself doesnt know if it is shady or accepta le that I am not involved. it seem controversial. theyy are friends they had a history but i am not there. my bf doesnt post stuff of us in social media . his choice. i dunno if my bf set boundaries correctly. he gave her a hug. he doesnt mind going out with her only .he says he spend more time with me... there are stuff i need to talk with him. i just dont want to be irrational and be emotional so i am loooking for advice before
I'm back from vacation so this may sound a little off. Meeting the exes is just a weird thing in a relationship, If you want to meet her, and have a friendship then talk to your bf about doing so, Otherwise I would just accept it, or end it as part of your relationship. |
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Posted: Tue Jan 03, 2017 7:43 am
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cool4 Miss_XxAriaxX ah ok. my bf doesnt have children with his ex... she is not heavily involved but they chat weekly and I know his ex organize a lot of activities to go out, my bf doesnt go he is busy with work and he had an exam to study. I know he would meet her if he has the time and I am not that type of girl that will try to fill up all my bf time with me (like a friend told me to do so). I have to work too... Sundays he is free but I work so he often meet his friends family etc. I find it... weird. I dont really know how to describe it that if she is a friend even if she is the ex.I never get to meet her like I am not included in one of my bf circle of friends. I myself doesnt know if it is shady or accepta le that I am not involved. it seem controversial. theyy are friends they had a history but i am not there. my bf doesnt post stuff of us in social media . his choice. i dunno if my bf set boundaries correctly. he gave her a hug. he doesnt mind going out with her only .he says he spend more time with me... there are stuff i need to talk with him. i just dont want to be irrational and be emotional so i am loooking for advice before I'm back from vacation so this may sound a little off. Meeting the exes is just a weird thing in a relationship, If you want to meet her, and have a friendship then talk to your bf about doing so, Otherwise I would just accept it, or end it as part of your relationship.
*sigh* For now, I would just like that he tell her that he is dating someone. That is what friends do... but since they have a history, he don't want to say it.
His arguments are that he don't want people to judge us that I am his rebound or replacement, but for him he knows we are serious. So, he wants to take it slow. I've met his friends just not her and their friends in common, and his family. |
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Posted: Tue Jan 03, 2017 7:05 pm
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Miss_XxAriaxX cool4 Miss_XxAriaxX ah ok. my bf doesnt have children with his ex... she is not heavily involved but they chat weekly and I know his ex organize a lot of activities to go out, my bf doesnt go he is busy with work and he had an exam to study. I know he would meet her if he has the time and I am not that type of girl that will try to fill up all my bf time with me (like a friend told me to do so). I have to work too... Sundays he is free but I work so he often meet his friends family etc. I find it... weird. I dont really know how to describe it that if she is a friend even if she is the ex.I never get to meet her like I am not included in one of my bf circle of friends. I myself doesnt know if it is shady or accepta le that I am not involved. it seem controversial. theyy are friends they had a history but i am not there. my bf doesnt post stuff of us in social media . his choice. i dunno if my bf set boundaries correctly. he gave her a hug. he doesnt mind going out with her only .he says he spend more time with me... there are stuff i need to talk with him. i just dont want to be irrational and be emotional so i am loooking for advice before I'm back from vacation so this may sound a little off. Meeting the exes is just a weird thing in a relationship, If you want to meet her, and have a friendship then talk to your bf about doing so, Otherwise I would just accept it, or end it as part of your relationship. Where did you go for vacations? *sigh* For now, I would just like that he tell her that he is dating someone. That is what friends do... but since they have a history, he don't want to say it. His arguments are that he don't want people to judge us that I am his rebound or replacement, but for him he knows we are serious. So, he wants to take it slow. I've met his friends just not her and their friends in common, and his family.
Sounds like he just has his own insecurities to worry about. I would talk to him about not caring what others think, and if they will judge him for getting into a new relationship if they really are his friends. And that he should tell his ex he is seeing someone, he doesn't need to put names together but at the very least mention that he's dating. Especially if the relationship is being taken seriously.
I was on Vacation in Maui Hawaii with My parents, grandma, brother and his partner as well as my boyfriend. It was fun, I got to snorkel with sea turtles. It was also the first time I got to spend Christmas with my boyfriend, and his first plane ride. But we has a lot of fun.
And now I get to go to work in -3 Celsius. stupid arctic wind. |
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Posted: Thu Jan 05, 2017 11:33 am
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cool4 Miss_XxAriaxX cool4 Miss_XxAriaxX I want to visit Hawaii one day too whee ... I did not have a discussion yet about his ex gf. Theses days we are enjoying our time together because he is going to travel of a week ... So, I wont see him... |
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