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 Posted: Sat Jul 16, 2016 6:13 pm
Hi everyone. Sorry I've been away. I've had a lot happen in the last few weeks from my truck breaking down, to my father being diagnosed with cancer.
And that's what I want to discuss.
Cancer.
My father is in his 60s, and was a very healthy and strong man. He used to teach karate and MMA. He was a construction worker. But he was diagnosed earlier this year with prostate cancer. Doctors at the time thought it was in the early stages so he could get it removed. Perfect!
But unfortunately, life has different plans.
In the last month, it's been a confirmed stage 4 prostate cancer that has spread to his bones. He's lost 25 pounds in 2 weeks. His doctors want him to sell his house and move closer to a hospital for "when" something happens. Not "if" at this point. They also don't believe he'll be around by next Christmas, either.
So I'm writing this today to discuss a few things I can't even begin to comprehend asking him.
Mainly, how do I go about asking him what he wants done with his body? How do I ask him if he has a will of some sort? What if he wants to be buried, but I want to cremate him so I can have his ashes with me always?
Where do I even begin processing this?
✘✘✘
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Posted: Sun Jul 17, 2016 10:41 am
I think that planning us a very good idea. Just sit him down and tell him you want to plan things so that your not forced to consider these things if he passes.
It's awkward and hard, but it needs to be fine. A lot of cremation sites and things have planning guides to help you walk through it.
I'd say if he wants to be buried, them maybe just take a piece of hair or something for you to keep? You can have them made into diamonds now days do you can keep him with you even if he wants something different.
Honestly I wouldn't be surprised if has already started planning. My grandma had everything planned out after she found out she was on a limited time.
Maybe consider talking to someone else before selling the house to make sure it's the right move financially?
It's horrible and I'm very sorry you have to go through this. <3333
-hugs-
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Posted: Sun Jul 17, 2016 12:28 pm
This is so very sad sad
I think, it'd be better to let him open up about this. Because chances are, this hasn't sunk in yet and it'll come that he'll talk to you about it once he has accepted it.
BUT I don't know how your father is.. or how close you are.. it all depends really..
I pray for you and your family.
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Posted: Thu Jul 21, 2016 6:12 am
so sorry to hear about this
i haven't ever had anything with a parent but i watched my mom go through this with my grandfather
i guess i just have a couple questions - is your mom still in the picture? (are they still married i guess is a better question) because maybe she can answer some of this
but i would approach it not as an "this is going to happen lets get it done" but more of a "dad, i want to know what you want... i want you to be comfortable with the choices we make and you tell me what you want to do"
my mom and i already have had the "what we if" conversation and both her and i agree about cremation and she already told me no funeral.. she wants a bench overlooking the ocean or something 3nodding i know it is hard because mine is hypothetical and yours is more of an urgent situation but i am sure if you make it about what he wants and not what "you need to do" it will be better for both of you
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