Welcome to Gaia! ::

I'm a romantic, kind of clingy person, so this absolutely isn't for me. I finally got a chance to try it out about 2 months ago with an old friend (old as in for many years we hung out, but he's only a couple years older than me). It started through Facebook messaging, got really intense, we were going to meet up since he had moved out of state after college, and we had a really sweet night together. Drinks, meal, more drinks, a LONG walk down a nature trail (about 2 hours of walking, then 2 hours back) in the middle of the night... it was really nice.

But after all of that, I had to remind myself that it was a hook-up deal and not to get interested in a relationship. He had made that very clear, that the first move was on me, and that an ongoing relationship wouldn't happen because he didn't want a long-distance relationship (and neither do I). I apologized, told him that if we did something I would think of it differently than I should, so we had a nice chat and parted ways. My friend-with-benefits was so close, so freakin' hot, but it didn't happen.

Do I regret it? Not really. He WAS extremely hot, and I had a crush on him like 6 years ago. I just know the reasons for me doing it weren't honest enough to myself, so I ended it. If you can try it out and see for yourself, I say go for it. It's nice knowing that you had the chance but turned it down instead of saying "what if" the rest of your life.

It doesn't help that I'm super paranoid about STDs, and it wasn't like that's a conversation you can approach when you're getting hit on. If anything, it's a boner-killer lol

I just feel like it would come back to bite you in the future xD

I believe people are okay with it, I mean, open relationships, threesomes and polyamory exists and that seems to work out well for some. Just not for me lol

I've had a couple of friends with benefits situations.

As I've gotten older, fwb is how a lot of dating relationships start. Then it either gets serious or we stop hanging out. I think that stems from my lifestyle, as I don't have a lot of social time and have needs xd

I would prefer to go out on a few dates before sleeping with people, but it seems by the time I get there, physical needs take over. I hadn't really thought about this recently, so thank you for helping me bring my attention here.

If you have your doubts about something, don't do it. These scenarios can work out, but I promise all sexual relationships come with feelings. Even one night stands (which in my experience feel good about 25% of the time). A lot of my fwb relationships turn into me asking myself how I feel over time, and that time has gotten shorter.

Be honest with yourself and with everyone around you and you should be fine. Don't feel bad about rejecting someone for fwb, or anything sexual if you aren't excited about it.

Also, you're not silly for thinking any of this.

I've recently had a friendship like this. The instant I said no more sex, he quit.
I'm thinking the ONLY motivation for a guy IS sex. Not the friendship.
If he's not getting sex, he won't even try.
He says he understood that I was not his girlfriend and he was not my type, but the second I drew the line at sex, he got very upset and just quit.

I really don't know my position on "can a woman and man be friends?". Sex just is a primary motivation, it seems.

it is only ONE guy in my life but it make me think about the question.

true true.