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 Posted: Fri Jun 17, 2016 10:06 am
You are worthless.
The words echoed in his head the rest of the evening. He hadn't known how to respond- how would anyone know how to respond to that? He'd stared, wide eyed, painfully-fake smile etched into his face as the words were dumped onto him.
I never loved you. I hate you.
It was all fake. From the very beginning... a long ploy to draw out his feelings until he was raw and exposed and then drive a stake right into his heart. Had he really done those things? He couldn't remember-- he legitimately could not remember ever meeting Anchriesel before that Magic class, and he certainly didn't remember actively making people's life a living hell. Yes, he'd been cruel, he knew that now... but actively? Pursuing? He couldn't remember-- maybe he had been.
What if it was all fake? Not just Anchriesel -- everyone else, too?
He had excused himself immediately after - he couldn't even think of a response, nothing. Nothing could follow that up. As soon as he was out of the event hall he'd broken into a run. He needed to get out of there - needed to get somewhere safe. Ella likely wasn't around- and knowing Foras he was probably going to be gone for a while with Alioth. That meant the dorm could be a safe place to go hide. He threw the door open, barely in enough control of himself to remember to shut it behind him.
You are worthless.
He slid down against it, inhaling sharply as if he hadn't been breathing the entire time. Had he? When was the last time he'd inhaled? He couldn't remember. He exhale was jagged, uneasy and faltering as his vision blurred. Did he deserve that? Did he? Hadn't he been trying to get better? To learn how everyone else socialized?
Worthless.
He pushed himself up, only just then remembering the flitterat Chries had given him - the poor creature was clinging to his shirt collar for dear life. He reached up to gently pry it off, barely able to see it through the tears. It wasn't its fault that he'd forever associate it with this moment- but oh he seriously considered just setting it out in the hallway. No. That would be unnecessarily cruel. He managed to open up the spare cage he had and set it inside, then crawled into the bed without bothering to remove his prom attire.
Worthless.
Ganymede burrowed himself into his blankets, fully obscuring himself from view. He didn't want to be seen, didn't want to exist. He'd made the mistake of getting attached to someone and this... this was what he had to show for it. Never again.
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Posted: Fri Jun 17, 2016 4:51 pm
Gany was right in assuming Foras was going to be out for a while. Prom night was not something that he planned on bailing on any time soon. He had somehow managed to dress appropriately (not too flashy for once) and was having a good time with his boyfriend Alioth. The two of them danced, played games, snaked on treats, and gave each other prizes. It was a night he was sure to never forget, although at some point he did take note that he wasn't running into a certain purple Geist. He could only assume Gany had probably gone somewhere to spend some more private time with Chries. He wasn't one to put his affection on display the way he did with Alioth.
It was finally getting late though, and after dancing and partying as hard as he could for hours, Foras was ready to call it quits for the evening. He walked Alioth to his dorm room and gave him a cuddle and kiss before wishing him a good night's rest. He was ready to hop into bed himself, a night full of dancing and merriment had certainly taken it's toll.
He turned the door handle and stepped into a pitch black room, at first he thought he might have been alone. Without thinking he flipped on the light, he needed to change out of his prom clothes and that would be easier to do if he could see all the buttons and ties required to do so. With the light on though, he noticed the rather large lump on Gany's bed.
"Oops. I hope I didn't wake you up." His hand hovered over the light switch, there wasn't much he could do to make up for it now and he really didn't want to attempt tackling his attire without the aid of the light. He pulled the door shut quietly, in the event that Gany was actually asleep and the light had not woken him up. He quietly made his way over to his closet, but didn't get all the way there before he noticed there was a flitterat in a cage on Gany's desk. That was sort of unusual, Gany usually let them roam. Foras certainly didn't mind, after all his salamander walked around the dorm like it owned the place.
Something just seemed off, he couldn't exactly make out what it was, but call it some sort of sixth sense if you will. Something was definitely not quite right here. "Gany." He could hear the concern in his voice, but was there really something he should be concerned about? Even if there was, what were the chances of Gany even talking about it with him of all people? Before continuing her made his way back to the light switch, flipping it off. Maybe that would help set the pace. He made his way over toward Gany's side of the room, but hesitated to actually sit on his bed. Instead he knelt down by his roommates' (and arguably good friends') bedside and tried to start up a conversation. "Did something happen?" He didn't know what was tipping him off, maybe it was just all the time he spent watching Gany.
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Posted: Fri Jun 17, 2016 5:24 pm
Rubelite and Quartz had, at some point, burrowed into the blankets with him. The other two rats were preoccupied with getting to know their new friend, albeit from the outside of the cage. They could open it, they were smart enough to, but Gany had managed to teach them all not to open things without permission. The sudden light almost earned a reaction out of him- but the mass of blankets safely sheltered him from most of the harsh light. Ah... it was Foras. He supposed it was better than Ella. She probably would be really loud or something. Foras at least was probably tired, or at least had learned to shut up-- no. That was a Bad train of thought. Those kinds of thoughts were what landed him in this position. Maybe he did deserve it...
It sounded as if Foras was just going to change and go to bed, which was a relief... but after a while the sounds of feet approaching his bed changed his mind. Maybe he wasn't going to get out of this. He winced internally at his name, followed up by the question.. how did he know? How did he always know how to poke the right buttons? It wasn't fair... He just wanted to be alone, but clearly that wasn't going to happen.
He shifted a little, attempting to sniff as quietly as possible so he wouldn't sound quite so nasally when he responded -- a futile attempt, really. "No..." He finally answered, quiet, muffled... and without the usual even tone. "I'm just tired." He really didn't want to talk about this... especially with the risk that Foras could possibly agree with Chries. Logically he knew Foras was not that kind of person, but then again, he'd thought the world of Chries and that certainly didn't turn out very well for him.
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Posted: Sun Jun 26, 2016 11:08 am
It took a moment for any to muster up a response to his question. in that time though Foras could make out the sounds of that rough sniffle and could feel the shaky moments coming from under the blankets with his hand placed gently on the bed. Something was obviously wrong. In all of the time Foras had known Gany, he'd never known the small, purple Geist to cry. It was far more likely that Gany would start yelling than start crying. Foras now had two options; he could try to get some information out of Gany as to why he was this upset or he could play along and pretend like he thought Gany was really just tired.
As he debated his next move Violet wandered over and crawled her way up to his shoulder. She stuck her little sticky foot on his face and flicked her little flaming tail. She then made her way down his arm and onto Gany's bed, curling up next to the lump hiding under the blankets.
"C'mon now Gany, you're not even fooling Violet." It was one thing to talk to Gany, but it was another thing to get Gany to talk to you. It seemed the easiest way for Foras to get the glowing Geist to speak up was to annoy him, but that was sort of off the table at the point. The last thing he wanted to do was make this situation any worse than it was. Instead he tried to piece out what could have happened on his own.
It was prom night, most Nightmares and Daydreams were having the time of their lives with their significant others....Chries. Where was he anyway? Here Gany was upset, it was a boyfriend's job to make sure his partner was happy! Wouldn't Gany so to Chries if something bad had happened? Unless....unless Chries was that something bad...oh. Oh no. But, he shouldn't just ask that should he?
"You know Ganymede, I consider you a really good friend. In fact, I'd have to say you're one of my best friends. I know we don't always act like it, I mean we drive each other crazy, but you are one of the few people on this campus that I can say I really, honestly, like. It can be hard to understand you at times, but everyone's like that in their own ways. Some people that look happy all the time, aren't really happy all the time. Just like how your grumpy face doesn't always mean you're in a bad mood." He took a deep breathe at this point, stood up and sat down on the edge of Gany's bed. He placed his hand gently on top of the slightly shaking blanket pile and finished what he had to say, "So, the point of that long winded speech is this; If something is ever bothering you, it's my job as your friend, to hear you out and comfort you. So, let me do that okay? As your friend."
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Posted: Sun Jul 03, 2016 8:13 pm
"I consider you a really good friend. In fact, I'd have to say you're one of my best friends."
The words stung in a way he couldn't really comprehend. The invasion of Foras's salamander normally would have annoyed him a little - he didn't really know how to handle animals that weren't flitterats.. He didn't even know what to do with the aetherjelly that had followed him back to the dorm from the ball... but for some reason he didn't mind Violet this time - it was almost sort of nice. Even if he didn't know how to care for the salamander, he'd always sort of considered animals to be easier to talk to than people. They at least didn't try to shoot him down or change him like everyone else seemed keen on doing.
Foras was still talking - he should really listen... Foras wanted to provide comfort, from what he'd managed to gather. Loud, teasing Foras wanted to provide a shoulder to cry on. He guessed he'd known that Foras was nice to Ella, didn't spread anything she talked about around... Ganymede didn't either- he wasn't that sort of person, but instinctually he cringed at the idea of sharing anything that might be a sign of weakness with anyone else. Could he trust Foras? He'd just said he thought of Ganymede as a best friend -- but Chries had lied about even liking him.
He sniffed a couple of times, still debating - until Rubelite started pawing at his half-covered face. She was a rather intelligent rat - probably knew Foras was trying to help... He sighed finally, quiet, but didn't move from under the blankets. "...I don't know how to talk about it." He finally admitted - it wasn't really a lie, but he figured he could just blurt it out. Was he even ready to say it, though? The full story? "......Did you mean that? That I'm a... best friend." He asked a moment later - something in his usually monotone voice was off, almost as if he needed to hear that Foras meant it.
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Posted: Mon Jul 04, 2016 3:01 pm
Foras had a feeling he already knew what had happened. Surely if something had upset Ganymede this bad, he'd go to Chries for comfort. And well, seeing as that was not the case here, he had to assume that it had to do with that Imp. Foras had never really liked him all that much, he always felt sort of...put off by that purple Imp. Still, Gany had seen something in him. That just had to be what had happened. If Gany was going to have a hard time saying, maybe he should ask first? No, that didn't seem right either. He wanted Gany to tell him. That might seem a bit selfish, but it was really how he felt.
"Well, you're probably not used to this sort of thing. So I'll wait right here until you're ready. Or if you're not comfortable with me here I could get a chair. If anything would help, I'll get it for you." Foras was willing to sit there the whole night if he had to. Gany definitely wasn't used to...expressing himself in this way. Maybe he'd been able to with Chries? He didn't know what the two of them were like when they were alone. Just how close had they gotten before things had fallen apart?
Gny was really starting to get to him now, all of that emotion that was seeping into his voice. Foras was definitely one to cry easily, he would cry if a song even hinted at something a little sad. Hearing it from Ganymede made him feel like his own heart was breaking. He chuckled a little bit, just to hide some of his own nervousness and...and what was this other feeling? He finally managed to nod his head. "Ganymede, we've pretty much been inseparable, albeit in a rather odd way, since we were kids. Even when we were small there was always a part of me that wanted to be your friend and that, in fact, thought we were friends. I know I say crazy stuff sometimes. And you can be...I wouldn't really call it mean. But, standoffish? At times. But you really are my Best. Friend." He paused for just a moment, trying to keep the tears out of his own eyes. He sniffled a little bit and pinched his own nose for a second, before continuing. "Why would I draw someone I hated all the time anyway? Do you realize just how....big of a part of my life you are? You're a pretty big deal to me Ganymede, and it hurts me to see you like this...."
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Posted: Thu Jul 21, 2016 9:05 am
The reassurance hurt just as much as it helped-- could he really believe it? Really risk opening himself up to the extent it would require to tell Foras what was so wrong? If it was fake- if he were lying like Anchriesel had been... Ganymede didn't even want to think about it, but his mind kept wandering over the possibility... How would that feel? What would he even do? He supposed he could request a room change... maybe Ava would take it seriously - but he'd have to explain not one but two deep wounds if that happened... He was getting off track- taking too long to answer.
He sniffed, shifting a little to rub some wetness away from his eyes but remained under the blankets still. Foras sounded like he was getting emotional too... then again Ganymede knew he was an emotional person, so it wasn't that much of a surprise. He breathed in deeply, attempting to settle himself so that he could speak with a steady voice. "Thank you, Foras." He figured he may as well start there, he deserved a thanks and it was a genuine one instead of his usual obligatory response. "I'll.. explain, and... then you can see why I needed you to say that.." He paused, taking another deep breath to settle himself once more before beginning. There was no point in sugarcoating it, or beating around the bush - he hated it when people did that.
"Anchriesel broke up with me." He stated flatly, tone still level but bearing the slightest hints of hurt within it. He sniffed again, feeling a new wave of hurt roll over him as he continued, "said he'd never liked me to begin with and it was just a lesson he wanted to teach me about hurting peoples' feelings..." He broke off again, Anchriesel's words echoing in his mind again. Worthless.
"Apparently-- he's hated me the whole time." He curled in a little tighter - mindful of the familiars that had crawled into his little blanket nest with him. He couldn't keep talking- even if that wasn't the end of it... At least not yet.
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Posted: Sat Jul 23, 2016 7:19 pm
Foras couldn't help the excited little tail wag that patted the bed when Gany thanked him. Okay, it was like a conditioned response at this point. Thankfully he got it under control before it could potentially upset his purple friend even more. He sat up a bit straighter in the bed, not that it really mattered all that much because Gany continued to remain hidden under his blankets and Foras wasn't about to drag him out from under them any time soon.
He wasn't surprised, really, to hear that Chries had broken up with him. He had sort of assumed that was what had caused this mess. After all, Gany wasn't with Chries and was in this state. Surely something had happened between them. Foras reached out and placed his hand on top of the Gany lump, hoping to land on an arm. Though he wasn't really sure where any of Gany was under that blanket. When Gany continued, Foras was truly shocked, a little gasp even escaped from his mouth. His ears hung low and back on his head and he stared with wide eyes at the bed. He...he didn't know what to say to that. No one deserved that. Gany had certainly been a rather...rough child to handle as a kid. But to go so far just to teach him a lesson? What sort of lesson was that?
"I--..." Foras started to say something, but stopped. What could he say? There was a torrent of emotion flowing through him at the moment. He was very upset for Ganymede, sad even. To think that you loved someone who hated you the whole time. To have fallen for someone that felt that way about you.... Then he was mad at Chries for even pulling such a stunt. If Chries had really thought Gany was that bad, then why would he turn around and do such a terrible action in return? It just seemed like a petty attempt at revenge. His tail flicked and he glanced away from Gany and toward the door.
He stood up, probably a bit too fast, jarring some of the familiars that were around on the bed. His tail flicked, irritated and he made his way toward the door. For a moment he had half a mind to track down Chries and tell that pompous Imp what a jerk he was. How could he treat anyone like that? Anyone? He made it to the door, even had his hand on the handle before he thought better of it all. How would that help Ganymede? It wasn't going to change Chries either, it probably wouldn't even make that stupid, purple, mess of a Imp feel bad about what he'd done. Foras had never felt like punching something before. Never. Violence really wasn't in him at all, but right about now he could use something to calm him down. And a fluffy purple pillow might just do the trick....
He stepped away from the door and took a deep breathe. This was probably, no definitely, not helping the situation. Beside, feelings don't just disappear in a few hours. Gany had...well. Foras didn't know if it had gotten so far as love. But he knew Gany really, really liked Chries. Even if he had said he hated Gany the whole time, that didn't void all of Gany's feelings.
"There...is absolutely no reason for anyone to have done something like that...." Foras finally managed to say something, but he was still staring down the door and just a hint of how upset he was, mad he was, probably slipped through his voice. He thought about it then, what could help settle him down a bit and maybe even get Gany out form under the covers. He rummaged around in some drawers, pulling out two handmade) coffee mugs, some hot chocolate mix, and milk from their little mini fridge. It was quiet while he worked, they were both sort of just dealing with their thoughts and feelings. There was some clanking of spoon to coffee cup as he mixed the cocoa into the milk. Then he heated the cups up in the microwave.
When that was done he set the mugs down on Gany's nightstand and pulled his rolling desk chair over to sit by Gany'd bed. "I find...that hot chocolate really helps me to get my thoughts in order sometimes. In fact, I find that it can even help better than hugs! Though, honestly I'm probably a very affectionate individual, as you surely know. But for this situation, hot chocolate is definitely a requirement." He picked up his mug and took a sip from it. Ouch, a little too hot. He blew into it for a bit before taking a second sip and let out a little sigh.
"Ah see, the hot chocolate is helping me realize that Chries is well, wrong. Also, he's not a teacher? So why should he be trying to teach anyone a lesson? If he really had a problem with you, then why would he do...this? I mean. I didn't exactly like you when we were younger, but I found other ways to handle. Chries could have talked to his friends about it, he could have even talked to you about it! I...if you was me....it just seems like it really says a lot about Chries that he did this to you. It says a lot about the type of character he is...I think....that might not be helping though...." He realized he 'd sort of gone on a rant there. He'd really just said everything he'd been thinking for the past couple of minutes. I mean, who would do that to someone?
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Posted: Sat Jul 30, 2016 4:29 pm
He braced himself, ready for Foras to agree- to say he'd been waiting for someone to do this all along and now he could, too... but it didn't happen. He felt the weight on the bed shift as the other boy stood, heard him move to the door, but... he didn't leave. Ganymede wasn't sure how he felt about that - or what he should feel about that. New tears were clouding his vision, so he rubbed them away with one hand, sniffing again now that Foras was farther away.
He was about to move, to push the blanket aside enough to see if Foras really had left, just... very quietly, when the other boy spoke. Immediately he froze, listening with more intent than he care to admit. No reason...? Clearly there was. Anchriesel had made that very clear. He'd been a bad kid, a terrible roommate - he deserved to be hurt like this. He listened as Foras moved around the mini kitchen, wondering what he could possibly be doing now.
He didn't have to wait long. The mug being set down on his nightstand was answer enough. He wasn't sure if he wanted to accept it, though. Did he deserve that? Had he been upset long enough? What was the protocol around having revenge taken out on you..? Exactly how long was he supposed to be upset? Could he just... turn it off? Try as he might, he couldn't. Not like other emotions - it wasn't like anger, which he'd learned to shut off like a light switch over time... This wasn't something he could just stop whenever he felt like.
He stayed quiet while Foras talked, mind coming up with retorts to most of what he said, but he kept them to himself. Foras was trying to help, he shouldn't point out that just because he wasn't a teacher didn't mean he couldn't teach others -- Ganymede himself had been learning how to interact with people "safely" from other kids after all. He sighed softly, feeling a bit cramped and almost desperate for fresh air. Slowly he shifted, waiting for the familiars under the blanket with him to evacuate the premises before he pushed himself up. He kept the blanket wrapped around him, but reached out to take his own cocoa mug to sip from - keeping his gaze off of Foras. Some part of his mind still screamed at the thought of someone actually seeing him in this condition.
"...So you never... thought about making me feel like I made you feel..?" He finally asked after a couple of sips. Foras was right, he was feeling a little better after it... "Not even once..?"
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Posted: Tue Aug 02, 2016 8:33 pm
Forsa wasn't sure he'd actually said anything that would help Gany, but he knew he was trying to speak honestly at least. His opinion of Chries has also drastically gone down hill, to think that someone would fake being in love with someone else. That was just too cruel. It was quiet for a while after he spoke and he just sipped at his hot cocoa and waited for Gany to speak up again. He sat up straighter when he saw the blankets start to move. Violet wiggled her way over to his lap, since the pillow she was on had shifted now.
Gany didn't look at him, but being able to see his friend at all was an improvement from him being under the blankets. He thought seriously about the question Gany asked and let out a little sigh before he spoke up. "I'm not gonna lie I didn't really like you all that much when I was a kid. But I had a lot of my own issues to deal with. I didn't really fit in anywhere and I felt a bit isolated. Maybe I was a bit warped, but at least you paid me some attention. There might have been a time or two when I was small that I thought of maybe hiding something of yours or something innocent like that....Really I just didn't understand you when we were little. But instead of hating you I just tried to figure you out..." He had gone so far as to ask Leilah for her advice on the matter. Remembering the talk they had when he was little brought a little blush to his face. He had been serious all those time he'd flirted with Gany, although he was pretty certain Gany figured he was just joking or maybe even teasing him in return.
"Just to make things clear I have never faked any of my feelings for you. Ever." Foras held his hot cocoa mug in front of his face to hide the obviously embarrassed look on his face. He didn't want Gany thinking he's been faking all of those feelings in a way to get back at them for how he'd been treated as a kid. He was definitely not like Chries....
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Posted: Tue Aug 02, 2016 9:04 pm
Ganymede remained silent while he listened, simply sipping his cocoa as he took in Foras's words. So he hadn't really liked him- but honestly, Gany couldn't blame him. He knew he'd been really mean to Foras, and Ella. He was still mean to both of them, though... there was something different about it. He said things that were not nice, yes... but the intention wasn't to really make them go away permanently. It had been at one point, but... not anymore. They were his friends, even if he didn't really act like it all the time.
The mention of taking something of his and hiding it sent a small flicker of light through his markings, though it died out almost instantly. In fact, his usual low glow didn't seem to be present at all. "You did...?" He spared a fleeting glance in Foras's direction. How would he have interpreted that...? He wasn't sure. Taking things was commonplace in Geist culture, and, well.... He wanted so desperately as a kid and still did to belong fully to his people's culture even though he wasn't raised "properly."
He breathed in deeply after a while, then let out a long, slow sigh. Foras didn't seem to be lying... and honestly, he wasn't a very good liar to begin with. He nodded after a moment, then finally actually looked at him for a moment. "I believe you. You're a really bad liar." He glanced off to the side, then down at his lap where his rats were starting to gather. "......Thank you. For being here. It... helps."
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Posted: Tue Aug 02, 2016 9:29 pm
Foras came close, so very close, to confronting Ganymede about that time his favorite paintbrush had gone missing. He was fairly certain that his purple friend had been behind that at the time and after his talk with Leilah...well. Let's just say Foras had thought for a little while that they were more than just friends. In the end the two of them had ended up with others and had settled into a bit of an awkward friendship at first. He had really felt like they had become best friends since then. Even if they had weird ways of showing each other that they cared. Gany had certainly said his fair share of 'mean' things, but he had also been around to comfort Foras in small ways when he felt his own insecurities. In the end, he decided to leave out the paintbrush thing. But he did store Gany's response in the back of his mind for something to think about later.
He laughed when Gany called him a bad liar. Foras always had been a little too much of an honest individual. He just felt wrong to lie or to make up stories. "Honesty is the quickest way to someone's heart." Foras winked, trying to act like how he usually did around his friend. He stood up then and pushed his chair back over to his desk, leaving the now empty cup behind as well. He stretched into the air for a second as he made his way back over to Gany's bed. He had a genuine, as non-flirty as he could get, smile on his face when he heard Gany thank him.
"It's no big deal. We're besties after all and besties look out for each other. I hope one day you can be there for me too." He paused beside Gany's bed for just a moment and that smile turned into a smirk. "They're also good for giving out hugs, even if the other person doesn't want it." Foras reach gown to gently give Ganymede a little squeeze, even folding his wings around the two of them for a moment. He pulled away, keeping his hands on his friend's tiny shoulders while he spoke. "Try to get some okay sleep tonight. It might be more comfortable without that outfit on." Foras smiled, thought about ruffling his hair, but decided against it. He let go of his friend and headed back to his side of the room where he finished up getting ready for bed and then curled into his own. It had been a long evening, both because of the prom and what had happened to Ganymede. He definitely went to be with a lot of things on his mind that night.
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Posted: Tue Aug 02, 2016 9:40 pm
Another small flicker of light made its way through his markings. Did he really have to say that? He glanced over at him as he got up, moving his chair back and then setting his cup down... As soon as he started stretching he averted his gaze- no. It wasn't right to think the thought that had started to bubble up in the back of his head. Admittedly, for some time he'd been... paying more attention to Foras in ways he hadn't previously- but he'd always pushed it away because he liked Chries, didn't he?
You don't have to like just one person...
His mind decided to remind him of that as soon as he pushed the thought aside. Ugh. No. This was not the time. He wasn't emotionally ready for that. If ever! "Well, I don't. I wouldn't wish this on you." He retorted with a snort, sounding more like his normal self. He knew what Foras meant, but he couldn't help but reply with something snarky. He blinked, turning to look at him just in time for Foras to lean down for the hug. He stiffened up at first, almost feeling like every part of him that Foras touched was lit up in flames - nice flames, but flames nonetheless - then relaxed after a moment. Admittedly, it was nice... "........I'll pardon it this time." He mumbled, glancing off to the side.
"I will..." He blinked, then looked down at himself, as if only just realizing he was still in his prom outfit. Ugh. He shooed the flitterats out of his lap, then stood and set his cup aside. "Well, you aren't wrong..." He waited until Foras was curled up in bed, then changed out of his outfit and into pajamas before crawling back into his own bed.
Sleep wasn't easy, but it did come eventually...
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