She woke slowly and groggy, her body not use to the sudden normal sleep and pulled herself off the bed quietly. It was plush and big and far more comfortable than even her own at home. And she stared at it, wondering why and how she got there. It took a moment for her to catch up and she remembered. Magic, Laby, the scythe, hand in her chest, pain...power. A dress. Stardust.
She rubbed her head, pushing herself up and out of the bed, and then out of the room.
“A..Alex?” She called out quietly, due to the new surroundings. She didn’t know where this way went...and what kind of house she was in, but she could tell. It was huge.
xxx
Chase had been resting in one of the other rooms that lined the hall, specifically his mother's because - well it was the only one that was properly furnished. It was two doors down from his and when he heard the creak of a door, he slid off the plush, pink bedding and padded over to the door. There was a twist of anticipation that mingled with anxiety when he thought about who it would be that was moving in his home.
The logical side of him said that it was Regan but there were other people that frequented his once empty home.
Her voice was soft, almost inaudible and yet - he could make it out distinctly. “Regan,” he replied clearly, stepping into the hallway to look down it.
When he saw her he smiled hesitantly, one hand wrapped around the doorknob and the other braced against the wood framing of the doorway. “How did you sleep? Are you hungry? Thirsty?” He asked, brows arched and head tilted.
Those were the right things to ask...right?
xxx
The immediate relief in the house upon seeing the soft serve prince hairstyle was probably the newest of her new feelings so far. The fact she saw pink hair made her happy, was just something she wasn’t sure she could get use to it.
“I slept okay.” She blinked, “Um...both. I think.” She looked around, “This is your house?” She yawned a bit, “Should...er...do you want me to grab the sheets to clean?” she had never been use to staying over at someone elses.
“So...um..” She felt so awkward, what did she do now?
xxx
“Okay, well I can order something or we could go out. I could possibly cook, depends if the chef left ingredients in the kitchen or - “ he was rambling he knew, but he couldn’t help the fluttering in his stomach. Chase couldn’t stop the nerves from thrumming in his veins that she would suddenly change her mind and resent him for bringing her entirely into his world.
“Oh, yeah - it’s technically my parent’s, mom’s but my father left it to me in his will and I’m in the process of a small remodel - “ Oops. He was doing it again. “Sorry I - “ he paused to take a moment to breath. Everything was fine, Regan looked relieved to see him, not repulsed. That was a good sign.
Right?
“Oh no, it’s fine. I’ll take care of it later,” he waved away her concern, peeling himself off the wall and striding over to her. His first instinct was to reach for her cheek but he pushed the urge away and instead offered her a crooked smile. “I’m more concerned about you and the adjustment period.”
It’d been his bed and he certainly didn’t care that Regan had slept in it.
xxx
“No.” She stopped him and then tried to clarify, “Not out. Please not out.” she didn’t want Paul to see her up and about. All it took was the wrong place and wrong time again, and she wouldn’t make it out again. Even with Alex’s help. “We can make something. I can cook something from nothing.” Or was it that she could eat whatever crappy thing she had to make? Ramen, Grilled Cheese...that sort of stuff.
“Sorry for what?” She tilted her head, “Your mom is the one you love right? I can tell, in your eyes.” She nodded, “Adjustment? I hope you don’t think um..” She narrowed her eyes for a second and then, “I’ll change my mind. I won’t. This is one of the best things to happen to me.” So far.
Her face didn’t rise much more in for a smile but she was looking a bit more perked up at him. There was no real way for her to convey the feeling besides what she saw from others. And even then, smiles were rare and hard for her to do.
“Do you like cheese?” It was random and out there, but also important for dinner decisions.
xxx
“Okay,” he replied instantly, like he’d been waiting for her to say no. He’d only offered to offer even when he’d been certain that she’d tell him no. “At least one of us can cook. I - “ he stopped, thinking about that time when he lived alone, even with a roommate, and his eating habits had gone to s**t. Especially when he considered how much he worked out. “I don’t fend for myself too well when it comes to food.” Not if it was up to him to cook.
“Yeah, my mom’s all I’ve got left,” he said quietly averting his gaze as he decided to walk past her, towards the stairs. Thinking about his father always left a sour taste in his mouth and remembering that it was Chase’s fault that he was dead and his mom was alone well - well, it left him bitter. Jaded.
“I can’t say it’s not something that’s crossed my mind,” he admitted, pausing at the top of the stairs, one hand on the polished banister. He glanced over his shoulder at her, his expression a mix of fondness and something else. “It’s just - this life isn’t easy but it gives you the ability to protect yourself and I - I can do so much more for you if we’re on the same side.” He could better protect her this way.
Chase was quiet for a long while as he looked at her, mouth opening and closing multiple times with unsaid words before he settled on something more casual, dinner.
“Cheese is great. Who doesn’t love cheese?”
xxx
“She’s not…” Regan tried to think of the words to talk about her, A mother? A mother that allowed Chase to suffer? She didn’t understand but also wondered perhaps…”Nevermind. That’s none of my business.” Instead she frowned, her bottom lip jutting out a bit.
“Okay, I’ll be honest.” She looked at him and then back, “I can make Ramen, or Grilled Cheese. I’m not use to like...fancy food.” She blushed, “So like, when I asked about cheese...I was gonna make grilled cheese.” Then she hid her face in her hands, suddenly ashamed that didn’t have more skills to offer. Even something simple as cooking.
“I understand that, I hope you know. Now…” She waited, “I can’t escape now right?” She was teasing in a very dry sort of way. “I think we can decide on that later though. Until I learn more, I really am under your care.”
She waited a moment more. “Cheese is good but if you want something else, we can like...google it maybe.” She flushed, “Can’t be too hard. If I can take a beating, I am sure I can do something in the kitchen.”
xxx
If only Regan knew how little Lara had done to prevent the verbal and mental abuse of his father. He didn't blame his mother though, Samuel had a terrifying presence and Lara had always been soft, pliable and weak to her husband's demands and wants. She had tried once, to no avail, but she loved him and to Chase, that was all that mattered.
Lara may not have shielded him but she loved him unconditionally.
“Grilled cheese is great. And don't worry about it Regan. I can't cook at all so anything you can make is perfect,” he assure her, opening his arms so he could slide on around her shoulders and pull her toward him. After all of the physical contact from the day before, Chase was having a hard time readjusting to her general rule of ‘no touching please’.
His touch was light, easy to slip free of if she wanted.
“You're right, I guess you're kinda mine now right? But I'll take responsibility for you Regan, I wouldn't want anyone else to take my place.”
xxx
She didn’t press because it wasn’t her place, but he didn’t seem to mind. “Grilled cheese is my speciality, it’ll be uh…” She pursued her lips, “Well it’ll be good.” His arms opened up and circled around her and yes...she had like an aversion to touch but not towards Chase, at all. If he liked the contact with her, then who was she to refuse him? She didn’t really mind it either. It was something, she thought with more happy than aversion, she would get used to.
Her head bumped gently against his chest, and she happened to look up at him.
“That makes me…” She searched for it again, those words from a place she never knew existed. “Very happy. You’ve made me so happy.” She nodded, “I didn’t think this would ever happen, with…” She sighed.
“Paul around. It’s been a long time. You’re...all I’ve ever needed.” A friend, someone who understood. Now he was her general, and her partner. It was all, she thought, almost too good to be true but at the same time.
Wasn’t it since the day he brought Hermes in, the thing she had deeply yearned for? From the moment he gave her wings, to bringing her back up when they had been clipped and giving her much more.
“Are you lonely in this big of a house?” She waited, “With you and your mother?”
xxx
She fit against his chest easily and he squeezed her shoulder as she spoke. His lips pressed into a slight frown, a mixture of strange, muted emotions swirling within him. How long had it been since he’d been someone else’s happiness? Or, at least, the cause of it?
“Well,” he started slowly, as if he was tasting the words on his tongue, “I’ll do my best to keep you happy then.” Chase hadn’t forgotten how much being happy was worth to kids like them. He turned his head towards her, brushed his lips against her temple instinctively before leading her down the stairs and into the kitchen.
It was a lovely kitchen, with marble countertops and an island for preparation and on the other side of the room was the kitchen table made of black wood and matching chairs. The fridge was one of those deluxe editions with the double doors and the freezer compartment beneath them and there was a stretch of counter space with a toaster that melted into a gas stove before it a sink.
“It’s not too bad, it’s actually mostly just me right now.” He paused, debating if he should tell her about the various attempts on his life. “My mother’s safety was compromised so I sent her to see my grandparents, she wasn’t happy about it but - after her hospital scare. I wasn’t taking any chances.”
Chase knew he was lucky that Lara had even woken up from her coma in the first place.
“I am making renovations to some of the rooms - “ another long stretch of silence as he debated if he should tell her about what he was working on for her. In the end he decided against it. “You’re welcome to stay whenever. My bed is at your disposal.”
xxx
She didn’t comment much further on happiness, because hoping and wishing too much on a good thing might eventually take it away. She never wanted to take for granted the new feelings again. She would cherish the simplicity of their happiness.
“I don’t know why I asked.” she frowned, “I’ve never been lonely, I think. I’ve been used to being by myself for so long that…” She didn’t understand why she thought that Chase couldn’t handle that. She knew he probably could, but since he was welcoming her, she thought perhaps too, somewhere that he wasn’t feeling so comfortable with it.
“You care for her a lot.” Regan nodded, “Sometimes, to help those we love, we have to do what they don’t want?” Words she wouldn’t understand well, even though she understood why her Uncle Chase kept her up above his shop and not in his home.
“The bed...oh I was in your bed?” that explained why she slept so well, with a slight scent of Chase around her. She narrowed her eyes and rubbed her arm. She was totally not telling Chase that, and grunted a slight..okay out at the comment. Sharing a bed….oh geez.
“Okay! Let me show you my skills.” She went to the fridge first and found butter, and a block of nice chedder cheese. She judged it to be nice because it wasn’t presliced and in plastic packages. Also it didn’t say 100% American pasteurized cheese on it. “Um...Bread.” and then she played with a lock of her hair, “And frying pan. Your kitchen is huge.”
xxx
“It’s easy to refrain from being lonely if you don’t know what it feels like otherwise.” When he’d first become a captain, loneliness was not something he associated with himself, not with the way he’d thrown himself into duties. The way he’d destroyed the relationships he had then failed to rebuild them when he’d grown out of it.
Until now.
He’d spent so much time as a loner with only Kaia - Alkaid - as a permanent fixture in his life and now, now there were many that had wormed their way into his circle. It had started with Archer and continued to build until he developed…whatever he had with Regan. Even this was different than all the others.
“It was, but I didn’t mean it like that. I don’t really sleep anyway so I wouldn’t expect you to share it. I would sleep elsewhere.” His bed was by far the comfiest, so if she did happen to stay over, he would insist she slept there.
He watched her, settling against the island with his elbow propped up on the marble counter while she pulled out the cheese then looked at him for help. A soft chuckle escaped him when he pushed off and walked to the pantry pulling out the loaf of bread then over to a cupboard to grab the frying pan.
“Mom always wanted a large kitchen, it was convenient for the charity bake sales. It was also my father’s wedding present to her.”
xxx
“I’m only thinking of it now because of you.” and Fritz. Somehow the two had come into her life and just..turned it upside down. She didn’t pine for their company, she thought, but it had been...different when she hadn’t seen them for long intervals at time. Sometimes, she sought out their company without really trying.
“Oh, well I would feel bad putting you out, though admittedly…” Her face pinkened a bit, “It was the comfiest bed I’ve ever slept in. Very soft and plush and um..” She hid her face, “Smelled...good.” Okay she was done now.
His chuckle made her relax, and she easily went about making the food after he gave her the rest of the supplies. “Did you father love your mother?” She clucked her tongue, “Sorry. I keep telling myself I won’t pry. My father likes to tell me he loved my mother so much, that when she left him, she took whatever was left with her. I don’t believe it, because in the same breath, he curses her and wishes her dead.” She laid a piece of bread with cheese in the pan, as it slowly started to sizzle. “He never bought her expensive gifts.”
xxx
“Well,” Chase began slowly, probably staring too intently at Regan. It was a bad habit of his, staring intently at people like there was nothing he’d rather look at than them. “You’ve got me and I’m not going anywhere, okay?” He was good at being reliable and as long as he wasn’t summoned by a General-Sovereign or Metallia herself, Chase would come when Regan called.
He’d do the same for any of his war pups.
“You wouldn’t be putting me out Regan, I promise.” Whiskey-eyes followed her movements as he went about making the grilled cheeses. “You can sleep there anytime, it’s not a trouble.” Did he tell her he was working on a room for her? No, no. Later, when it was finished.
Now he could just pick a bed similar to his for her.
“I think so, I know she loved him, a lot.” His thoughts immediately flashed to that day he’d gotten the call telling him she was in a coma. “I almost lost her after we lost him.” How did he explain that broken heart syndrome was a very real thing?
“I don’t mind, if I don’t want to talk about it I’ll tell you.”
xxx
His staring didn’t really bother her now, though admittedly it had when she had first started talking to him. It was hard to convey feelings she didn’t understand when she had never faced the seriousness and attention she got from Chase. As he spoke, she moved carefully through, plating the sandwiches, cutting them in half and placing it next to him.
Her first bite earned a soft smile before disappearing, and she was humming responses to his. Putting him out didn’t seem to bother him, nor did her sleeping in his bed. Though she knew bed’s could be very personal spaces, with how close and open he was with her, she should’ve been more surprised if he had been offended or worried.
“I will if there is an emergency that requires me to.” She took another bite, “I can foresee that perhaps this new life will lead to some exhaustion and pains, but I’ll be able to face it all if I can.” She watched him again as he spoke, swallowing her bite, taking another until the first half of the sandwich disappeared.
Love was a fickle thing. In one hand, she could see that he knew his mom loved his dad very much, and because of that there was some sort of pain? Her father had never been the same.
“What is your mother like?” She barely remembered her own, and had no photo’s of the woman. Nothing to look on the other half of her lineage.
xxx
He toyed with the edge of the plate his sandwich was on, doing his best to not watch Regan as she ate. Food wasn’t something that was on the forefront of his mind most days, often because hunger didn’t strike him much, but Regan had made him the sandwich so he ate it.
It was a good grilled cheese, he had to give her that. If he’d made it, well it probably would’ve been thoroughly burned.
“It’s not - It’s not the easiest life, but it gets better.” He did believe that, because despite all he’d been through the Negaverse had stood firmly by his side. It’d shaped him into a better person, he thought, even if he could be vicious and even downright cruel sometimes, but that was the cost of loyalty, of military life. “And you won’t be alone.”
For the first time in a long while, Chase thought it was important to build those connections with people, to guide them with a firm but steady hand. It made him think of Alkaid and her sphere of Guidance. Perhaps that was simply his roll now.
Or one of them. He could be multi-faceted.
“My mother is - “ he hesitated, returning the remains of the half he’d been eating to the plate, dusting his fingers off. “Soft, sweet...fragile. She’s all I’ve got left you know? She loves me but - she was never strong enough to stand up to my father.”
xxx
She didn’t think of is as special, but something tugged on her a little. She was in a beautiful kitchen, three times the size of her own and sharing a meal with a man she had just met, but felt so deeply entwined with. It was a feeling she wasn’t sure how to put in her mind. Loneliness seemed silly, when she imagined the many nights she did the same thing in her own kitchen, minus Chase. How big the change seemed to be when you added the pink and brown haired male to it.
“I believe it will, you don’t have to assure me.” She reached over and casually touched his arm, “I’m remembering to trust you, so I hope you will trust me too. I will not let you down, or bring you shame.” She set her sandwich down and aside.
“He didn’t…” She pursued her lips, “He didn’t hurt her? Physically? Like Paul does to me?” Her face fell, thinking of another woman in the same predictament as her own. They were out there, and a lot of them never had the support of others. Regan wasn’t sure if that was good or not, but she knew that her heart twinged a bit at the image of younger Chase ever seeing his mother hurt. Especially when she meant most of the world to him.
“I’m sorry. I want to know more about you, but I am pushing into places I shouldn’t” She finished her sandwich and collected plates, “I never thought I would with someone else.”
xxx
Chase wasn’t sure what he should say, how best to keep the conversation flowing and - he didn’t mind talking about his parents not really. Not with Regan’s quiet curiosity, but it was weird and not something he was very good at approaching.
“I trust you Regan,” he said automatically, brow furrowing as if he was wondering why she’d think he didn’t. “I’m not worried about you okay, not in the you’ll bring dishonor to me sort of way. I don’t make these decisions, these offers without seriously thinking about it.” But he’d made her the offer because he wanted her safe.
He’d keep her safe.
“No, my father never hit her as far as I ever saw. He didn’t - “ Samuel had never hit Chase, not after he was sent off to boarding school but the threat had always been there. Besides, money was a powerful too. More dangerous than a fist because it really gave you control over a person.
He finished his sandwich easily, let her collect the plates and just watched her move. It hadn’t been long but Regan looked more relaxed and comfortable in his presence, in his house.
I never thought I would with someone else.
He rounded the counter, reached for her hands once the plates were set down. “Regan,” he said softly. “You can talk to me about anything.”
xxx
“You are a very serious creature, to be honest.” She stared at him, “I thought for a bit, how could you make such a decision so quickly? How can you know? But then I realized that you were thinking about it a bit more and perhaps I was the rash one?” She shook her head and white hair swung with the motion.
“That’s good though. It sounds terrible, and I’m sorry but I understand a little more.” She took a deep breath, “I thought maybe that's why you understand me a little more too, but I can see, there was a deeper more binding something.” She finished watching the plates and drying her hands when he took hers.
It was hard not to be wary of the contact, so instead of thinking why, she thought of his hands holding hers. The warmth they truly brought, clasped between each other. Silly romantic things, she thought. Fritz thoughts.
“I’m scared that one day I won’t be able too.” She looked up at him, “That one day, I’ll be too much. Or maybe...I just won’t have any more words to say?” She tightened her hands slightly and then sighed. “I’m scared because now I feel like I don’t want to lose this.”
xxx
“It’s hard not to be when you live the life I have.”
Between Samuel and the Negaverse, the mirthful teenage he’d once been had melted away, been molded into something strong, serious, and dangerous. He was not a man who did things in half measures, if he was invested it was all or nothing.
With her, he was all in.
“I’m sorry, my mother was fond of physical contact, it’s been imprinted on me to think it’s comforting. I shouldn’t - “ he started to pull away, licking at his lips as he looked at their joined hands. Slowly, his gaze lifted and he looked at her curiously.
“What makes you think I’d leave you alone?” They were kindred spirits, too much of himself was reflected at him when he looked at her. He saw potential, he saw the hurt, he saw the need, and most importantly he saw Regan. “There are people in my life Regan that are important.” Prissy, Katrina, Suri, Alkaid, even Silk, Archer, Levi and James. “But that’s never going to change how important you are too. I don’t - the things I’ve shared with you? There’s never been anyone else.”
You get to see different sides of me, he thought trying to tamp down the concern that threatened to overwhelm him. Like Suri and Alkaid, emotions surface more easily with Regan. Probably because they walked tandem paths. “If you want me, I’m here.”
xxx
“I don’t want you to leave.” Regan didn’t mind his hand. She was trying to understand him more. The little secrets he shared with her, and the red string that was tied with them. She shook her head again and looked up at him.
“I don’t mind when it’s you.” She looked up and then away. “It’s comforting for me as well, when I thought that it wouldn’t be. You bring me comfort, Alex.” She nodded, “When I thought that I didn’t need it.” She squeezed his hand and then brought it up to her cheek, letting it rest against the fading marks. “I don’t want you to think I can’t handle this either. You are not scary to me.”
Her heart raced a bit, at knowing that she knew more of his secrets, and sides then she originally thought, and it bothered her to feel so special and selfish about it. When she had met Kat, she said that he was good at finding the lost ones.
With him, There was no more lost.
xxx
He let her talk without interruption because Regan didn’t talk freely that often. His thumb rubbed soothing circles against the back of her hand absentmindedly as he listened. The motion only stopped when she shifted their hands, brought his to rest against the bruised planes of her cheek.
“I’m not worried about how you feel about me.” The young woman had said it herself earlier, the day before, that she was his. Context didn’t matter so much as the core fact. Regan was his, one of his, and that wouldn’t change. “Though I like knowing things are okay because it’s me.”
It was a selfish thought, the man knew, but he couldn’t help it and he didn’t care to suppress it. There would be time for secrets later, for now Chase wanted to just stand in peace with the white haired girl before him. “You’re welcome here whenever.” Any of his were, he’d made sure to talk about them to her later but for now?
It was just them.
xxx
She actually smiled at him a bit, touched that he was happy that she was just as happy about him. It was a odd feeling, and the smile disappeared back into stoicness, tucked away in a special place reserved for Chase. The place where he could only invoke such feelings.
“I might take you up on it.” She nodded, “It’s too bad you don’t have a garage for me to work in, I’m sure I could never leave.” She said, almost jokingly. If he had a garage though, would be a different story. She could work in peace, without camera’s or Paul or her uncle or the worker's breathing down her neck. Just her, the bikes and the occasional visit from Chase.
She sighed. Letting silence wash over them. She didn’t move away from him, nor did she wish to invade his space. The air around them was calming enough and she wanted to soak in the very simple peace of it. The very simple singularity it made her feel.
xxx
“It could be arranged you know.”
It was an offhanded comment, easily mistaken for a joke, but there was a hint of seriousness to Chase’s words. He was already doing renovations on the house, it wouldn’t be out of the question for him to do something with the garage. It was, at least, something worth considering.
If Regan even wanted something like that.
They could discuss it later, after all it was clear to the man that Regan just needed to bask in silence for a while. So that’s what they did.
xxx
‘It could be arranged.’
The simple statement meant more stars and earths and suns then the girl could even count and while she couldn’t think of any reason to ask him too….she couldn’t think of a reason not to either. She wanted to be closer to him and still not.
A garage of her own, with a person who cared for her, in a world she could grow into and a home that she would feel safe.
The amount of emotion couldn’t be conveyed in words and so, she took the silence from him, and the silence from her and just...basked in it. It was as if her body glowed in starlight, much different than her sphere. Just this moment alone, made her feel more loved and welcomed and happy then anything Chase had offered her before.
It was a new step in a new direction.
pixie nyxie
