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 Posted: Fri May 27, 2016 9:37 pm
“The tail’s still useful.“ With foreceps in hand, Alois seized the piece of raccoon that found its way to the side of the road and held it up for his dog’s examination. Schatzie, ever the enthusiastic german shepherd, approached it abruptly and sniffed emphatically. Sensing coming mischief, Alois drew the tail away from him in a swift motion. „Don’t eat it,“ he warned, as he gently pushed the dog’s muzzle away.
„This one’s for a project.“ The dog didn’t understand, but the people around him did.
The street was a busy one, which passed through the market district of the city’s southern side, where a host of tourist traps and curio closets and service sellers lined up to place their best feet forward. Often the streets were busied with local and tourist alike, bags in hand, as they spent the day on shopping ventures. Currently Alois worked nearest an ice cream shop, where a family of four sat outside to enjoy their desserts. The male of the family found issue with Alois’ antics immediately, and cautioned that he should engage in such antics at night when the shops have closed for the day, instead of threatening sanitation regulation with handling corpses around restaurants.
Muttering to himself, Alois slipped the tail into a ziploc bag. His dog still attempted to sniff at it, and pawed the bag with a whine, but Alois didn’t relent. „Go visit that man,“ he said in return, covertly pointing to the one who objected to his work. „Say hi.“
Schatzie trotted over immediately, further upsetting the man, and Alois straightened to smirk at the scene. „He gets friendly sometimes. Schatzie, komm.“ There was little need to get his dog shot over an uptight family man, so Alois drew his dog from the scene to prevent further escalation.Melancholies i hope this works sorry i didn't have time to write it earlier - lmk if i need to rework anything
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Posted: Sun May 29, 2016 4:13 pm
Shiloh had been watching for a good five—no, ten?—minutes. Maybe longer. Either way, it was a damn riot.
Some guy was peddling around in the ditch with his dog, which Shiloh honestly thought nothing of at first. Given all the bullshit at Blackfriars, Shiloh decided he was going to be in a relatively good mood and treat himself to surviving hell with a nice cold cone of ice cream. It was pretty ordinary to watch people bicker and b***h at each other, and usually it was annoying, but given the circumstances...
Well, was it every day you caught some tourists yelling at some guy for pilfering a pile of roadkill?
He hadn't been in on the scene from the get-go, but even watching the bit he had was amusing as hell. God, people were ******** weird around here. Shiloh knew this from the start of course, but it was the little precious moments like this that reminded him, and having the point driven home never seemed to get old.
He waited for the man to calm—or rather, give up with the situation—because he still seemed pretty livid when he finally removed himself. One leaves, another takes his place. In this case, it was Shiloh's taking his chance.
"You always go 'round pissin with dead s**t?" Shiloh had made his way down the side of the road, being pretty mindful of the dog. She seemed friendly enough, but he still kept a little bit of distance. "S'kinda weird, buddy." Hetzerei No prob no prob! Hope this is ok <3
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Posted: Sun May 29, 2016 9:15 pm
The second disturbance he experienced was… Unusual. Most of the time, in instances like these, another individual asked him to wait until nightfall, or to kindly hurry up with it and stop aggravating other paying customers, or cite the infectious diseases argument. This one, however, approached him with a question he didn’t fully understand. He guessed it was part of the American colloquialisms, but having never heard it before, Alois wasn’t sure how to respond but literally. „No,“ he responded sternly, „I’m not pissing with anything.“ He shot the man (who looked barely old enough to be considered a man) a perplexed look.
He expected the german accent still painting his words would explain his lack of conversational grace. „You would say it’s opportunity. I am a taxidermist. Roadkill is free practice.“ Alois straightened, and tucked the bag of carnage into his backpack shortly after. „Admittedly, talking to strangers who go around picking up roadkill is ‚kinda weird‘ too. DIdn’t you learn it’s better to avoid talking to social degenerates?
„But if you insist, keep asking questions. I’m half ready to start practicing on humans, anyway.“ The gloves were stripped then and placed into their own ziploc bag for easy disposal later. Schatzie, initially interested in the bag of gloves, finally took up investigating the stranger who bothered his owner. He sniffed around the usual areas - crotch, a** - to attempt familiarization with this human, with tail wagging lazily to indigate his non-threat.
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Posted: Thu Jun 02, 2016 5:09 pm
The accent should have explained it honestly, but this was Shiloh and he seemed pretty undeterred by it. Actually, the way this guy was speaking was getting him a little riled, and it made him grin in a cheeky, obnoxious sort of way. Looking like almost having his arm clawed off was a poor excuse to practice some self preservation.
"Nah, I didn't learn jack s**t." and it was a half truth, because he sure seemed to smile death in the face a lot. Had he been more poetic, he might see some sort of connection to this moment to that notion, but this was Shiloh and Shiloh wasn't the most observant, nor did he really care about those things. "'Specially didn't learn to take threats from a dog with no bite."
At least the dog seemed nice. He gave her a pat on the head.
"I dunno', might take threats from you though," he was speaking to Schatzie, "But only 'cause you're so damn cute, huh?" time for a well deserved scratch behind the ears. Shiloh did like animals, after all. They were a lot better than humans if you asked him.
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Posted: Sun Jun 05, 2016 3:11 am
Schatzie, on the other hand, found that Shiloh was a perfectly acceptable visitor for him. THe dog tried to lick the hand that offered pets as it came to rest on his head, and his tail continued to wag in lazy, repetitive patterns to indicate his contentment with a new friend. Alois knew that he could order Schatzie to attack the boy, and he would do so having no connection to this visitor, but the justification wasn’t enough for the inevitable consequences. Schatzie would get shot, and he would see jail time and likely no means to purchase another dog for quite some time. And, naturally, that meant this kid retained the upper hand.
He felt disappointed that he couldn’t simply run this one off and be left to his own devices. Schatzie proved too much a people magnet for Alois’ disposition sometimes. „Schatzie wouldn’t know how to threaten anyone. Hell, he couldn’t organize a piss-up in a brewery.“ He patted the dog’s flank heartily. Schatzie was thoroughly satisfied, having received attention from both owner and stranger. „But, I expect one day I will be getting attacked, and he’ll come maul my assailant. Or just watch and eat the mess after. But you were bought for your pedigree, weren’t you Schatzie?“ The dog responded in his usual woowoo.
„As a taxidermist, I collect roadkill for projects. If someone decides I’ve ruined their day by scooping up their neighbor’s dog from six places in the street, then all the better.“ Alois shrugged. „It gives me something to do.
„Am I to take it that you always make a beeline for confrontation?“
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Posted: Sat Sep 17, 2016 2:03 pm
At the comment to Schatzie's disposition, Shiloh actually laughed. "I dunno, animals are pretty smart. Huh, you're smart huh?" he couldn't help his voice from rising as he baby talked the dog, snickering again at the woowooing. "Betcha could be a terror if you wanted to be."
"And nah, not really. Only if it looks like fun." His hand was still tousling the fine fur on Schatzie's head, thoughts rolling over his mind. "I mean, what's the worst you're gonna do? Clock me in the nose? I'm pretty damn used to it." there was another laugh, "I mean, even if you overreacted and like, who the ******** knows—left me dead in a ditch, you'd just be doing me a favor in the long run."
Finally done with dog slobber, Shiloh pulled his hand back, wiping the slimy affection over his already grimy jacket.
"But y'know, taxidermy is pretty chill." he was being genuine for once instead of a d**k, "Like, I can totally appreciate the whole art of it, that s**t doesn't seem easy. But you're still kinda weird for scalping roadkill." But whatever. Shiloh hung out in dirty a** alleys in the middle of the night drinking icees with his iPod blasting shitty punk songs, so he didn't have a whole lot of room to talk.
No, he did. That still wasn't touching dead things.
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Posted: Thu Sep 22, 2016 2:33 pm
“It depends on how you view it.“ Alois wiped the back of his arm against his forehead, banishing some of the sweat from the noonday heat. The urge to reach philosophical heights with the matter proved too great for his practical sensibilities. „If you look at the sum total of your past, current, and by extension future experiences as largely negative, and if you insist that these experiences can be categorized by a value system that attributes a static number to one experience and operates relationally among the other experiences, and you add it all together… Sure, you might consider it a favor. But that relies on defining experiences as good or bad or somewhere in between, and assuming that the experiences can be assigned a static value based on who you are as a person right now. It’s also saying that your view of your experiences at current trumps any view you may have in the future or had in the past. Of course, there’s a host of assumptions beyond that, like the linearity of time and the context of whether an experience continues to exist after you had it, but…
„Then you also have the assumption on afterlife being neutral or better than life now. Assuming a Christian religion, you might expect to reach heaven or, possibly, purgatory. Those are naturally ranked good-neutral-bad which is fairly standard practice in Aristotle’s dichotomous logic base, and also depends on your assuredness in where you place - and some people point to that as hubris for pretending you know the Unknowable’s plans for you - but I’m getting carried away.
„So attacks. I could just have you disfigured permanently by siccing Schatzie on you, and in a place like this, that’s damnation enough.“ Fingers popped, then slipped into the confines of his pants pockets to stifle communication through gesticulation. Schatzie still looked fairly enamored with his new visitor, and only occasionally checked for his owner’s approval. The wagging tail consistently struck Alois in the back of the knee but he offered no reaction to it. „But I’ve let myself get away with things again. All over a turn of phrase…“ He spared a glance to his dog, who seemed none the wiser.
The qualification of weirdness for scraping roadkill out of the street earned a crooked smile. „Weird keeps people from talking to me. Usually.“ The dog was supposed to repel the remainder, but often failed at that assignment. „Taxidermy is a difficult endeavor, however. Apart from decimating a forest population, there aren’t many avenues for practice beyond roadkill. Plus, it’s a form of recycling and keeps the streets clean - we Germans are ever the environmentalists.“
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