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Lady's text hit her like a ton of bricks.

She typed something quick and funny, to diffuse the daggers rolling around in her gut, but it only seemed to make the feelings worse, so she corrected with a another quip to affirm that yes, she was joking, she was going to be at the meeting for furries. That was how she was, just jokester Lily making all the deadpan jokes for everyone's amusement while she threw out half-assed finger guns. Scare away what was frightening with humor, like jokes could work as protective incense or sage.

She slept on the roof that night, and for once no one noticed.

Lily found herself awake in the dimness before dawn, anticipation pounding in her chest like the mornings before Christmas, when she'd be awake for hours before she got the knock on the door to let her know it was okay to go downstairs. But this wasn't Christmas, and there weren't presents downstairs. Lily's hands curled around her phone, rereading the texts from before with a flat expression, then began to stretch out the stiffness her night on concrete had brought her. She wasn't sure what to do with her day, but she knew it couldn't be spent here. She had things to do.

By the time she got washed and changed, the sky had turned a soft purple in preparation for the sunrise. Lily clopped on her bargain flip flops down to the shore, her eyes tired and a bag on her shoulders. She knew Jamie found peace in the waters, though she had little hope that it might do the same for her, the itch behind her eyes growing in intensity once she was out of proximity of treelines and rooftops. No, she had something she wanted to do while she was still human, while she was still her.

She unzipped her backpack and peeled out her mat, a couple of towels, and the basic rigging she used to hold up her phone when she made videos. Once everything was set up, she took a moment to settle the nerves in her stomach, and then with a sigh, slowly hit record.

"What's up kids, it's Lily," she began, pulling back her bangs and waving at the camera. "Sorry I haven't posted more, but finals were one hell of a ride and I basically had no life, but you guys know what that's like." She laughed, shaky and tired, and it ended in a soft frown as she glanced elsewhere. "I've been...really appreciating nature, lately, you know? I moved here almost two years ago, and I really only noticed how awesome everything is lately. Ashdown has these...trees? And they're just...they're great. Sturdy climbing trees, you know?"

She sighed, and looked down to the callouses on her offscreen hands. "Um, so. What I'm getting at is that I know it's kinda cliche, but I had some buddies of mine take me out to the beach, and it's actually pretty sweet, and, umm...I guess I just wanted to share that with you, thought maybe we could do some sun salutations together with the sun coming up and all that spiritual s**t. It's pretty."

She ruffled her hair and muttered something to the tune of 'this is gonna be lame', but nevertheless backed away from the camera to show her mat, parallel with the coming tide in the moments before the sun rose. She began with sun salutation, and then another, her body moving from pose to pose in slow and concentrated focus. It didn't bring her peace like it used to, but she hoped maybe, just maybe, someone else could find it.

By the time she thought to stop, the sun had inched its way well into the sky, shimmering and spilling liquid gold onto the ocean below. Lily pulled her way up from child's pose and ambled over to her phone, turning off the recording for now. She would need to edit it later, maybe add some music, but for now she just stared at her phone and the sunrise, mulling over what the future would bring. She thumbed over to her contacts, thinking maybe to reach out for Nasir, but that connection was a given, she was always welcome and there was no judgement. It made her feel safe, almost like what the others felt like, and it made her feel safer to know that he was completely uninvolved. She could text Lucas, or Eve, or Jamie, but they already knew what was to come, and she didn't want to seem too clingy before their meeting later that day.

She nearly put her phone away to pack away her things when she scrolled over a contact, giving her pause. After a moment of biting her lip, she opened up her text screen and began typing. On the precipice of the mysterious and unknown and frightening, she needed to get some things off her chest.



It was just after six in the morning, there was no way Falco could have even been up to receive her texts, but it was comforting just to spill over her anxiety into words.



Something about that made wrenched at her heartstrings, like maybe she was lying to him, but she shoved that aside. It wasn't like she was dying...right? No need to be so melodramatic.



Lily pocketed her phone and frowned, pulling her knees into a hug. There would be time later to stand up and face the day--for now, for a few more moments, she did her best to enjoy the dawn.