For a brief, glimmering moment Lucijah felt the sheer force of Nera's overflowing love and longing full force. She felt it in the unfamiliar glimpse of tears in those beautiful pink eyes, in the quiver of her body, in the tremble of her hands as their tugged her closed, as they scoured every inch of her face. She felt it in the hot breaths of air against her cheeks, and the possessive tug of her fingers against her collar. For those golden, shining moments Lucijah's concerns and insecurities dropped away, and she felt she was home.

And then, that moment was gone. In the rush of entertaining Radesh, then journeying back home to Nera's family manor, there was a marked change between them. Pure emotion, unfettered by thoughts or emotional restraints, sent them into one another's arms... and then, as soon as decorum and logic reentered the picture, Nera drew away.

For the duration of the meal, it took everything in Lucijah to not reach for her love, to kiss her and ask why the air between them felt so strained when, just moments before, they'd clung to one another just as they had before.

It had been over a year, and in all that time Luci had never imagined that Nera would stay in Oba forever... coming here had only ever been to retrieve her after the winter thawed, perhaps travel the dunes until her adventurer's thirst was settled, and then return to the rainforest to perfect their nest and... and. And what? Such thoughts were foolish, but Lucijah had never dreamed that her village back home would be such a far cry from Nera's. It only took one look at Nera's manor to see that she was horribly off the mark.

Luci couldn't even imagine that people could live in such splendor, such decadence... and just one look at Nera showed her just how wrong she had been to assume her love would even want to come back to Jauhar. It was almost impossible to comprehend that this woman, so elegant and refined, was the same woman who had hobbled on her mutilated feet, determinedly building a smoker for fish, helping Lucijah layer vines and build fire pits and...

Once, Luci had believed her lover's terms of 'savage' and 'beast' had been pet names. She knew the meaning of the words, and yet had firmly believed they were false - and the way Nera said them, so sweetly, as if she were saying 'twilight-mine' had led her to believe so. In her own way, she called Nera her amber queen. Sweet memories, suddenly cast into a whole new light, filled Lucijah with shame. Here, in Oba, watching these fire earthlings deal in their coins... the way Talia regarded different ranks of people, the amount of different sigils and signs and ways to refer to people... never before had Lucijah felt so foolish, so thick and simple. Of course Nera would want to stay here... and if Nera was here, Lucijah was here too. She couldn't force Nera away, and she would never dream to... and yet, it was growing clear that Obans treated outsiders very differently.

Without Nera's protection, what was she? In Jauhar, they had been equals... or so Lucijah had thought. Here? Here, with those nicknames floating in her ears, and carrying the title of a servant, Lucijah suddenly felt they were never further apart.

Normally, nighttime was the easiest. Nera would curl into her, and Lucijah would accept that touch - drinking it in and basking in it, adoring the affection and taking the chance to curl her body into her, arms and legs tangled inseparably. But tonight, when she snapped awake from a forgotten nightmare, her arms were bereft, and only the gentle contact of Nera's scarred sole against her calf told her they were still laying together. For a long moment, she fought to regain her breath, recovering from the feeling that she had been plummeting to her certain demise, until... finally, she lifted herself onto tired limbs and scooted to the edge of the bed, parting the hanging sheet of the canopy so she could escape into the brisk night air.

Nera's quarters were massive, richly decorated and luxurious, but also foreign and strange to Lucijah. While she normally slept in the barest of fashions, the shifter opted to slip on a comfortable, loose fitting tunic, and quit the room, padding down the polished wooden hallway to the door that led out to the gardens. Here, she felt safest... surrounded by nature, instead of strange stone and wood walls. Planting herself by the edge of a the garden's pond (filled with beautiful, bright colored imported mink and foreign, matori fish), Lucijah heaved a deep breath and tilted her head back, closing her eyes and trying to calm the toxic swirl of her brain.

Normally, one would seek relief in their lover's arms... but in this case, Luci felt it best not to disturb her love for such swirling thoughts, not when it was over things that Nera couldn't help with.