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 Posted: Sat May 07, 2016 6:49 pm
He clawed desperately at the dirt that surrounded him. He couldn't scream, there was no air. He was suffocating. The more he dug, the more the earth began to pour down on top of him. Tears filled his eyes and he closed them, gritty filth stinging them. He dare not open his eyes. He dare not open his mouth. More and more collapsing the harder he fought.
Wake up.
"Wake up," the voice was firm yet warm as it repeated. A whimper escaped his lips as a delicate hand reached out and shook his shoulder. He startled awake and stared at the blonde-haired woman wide eyed in terror. "It's okay," she assured, "it was just a dream." As soon as he realized where he was, he lunged forward and embraced the woman tightly. "I just had the worst nightmare." He was still crying he realized with embarrassment. He quickly released her to wipe his eyes dry with the sleeves of his pajamas. The woman paused until he finished and then smiled comfortingly. "You'd better get washed up and dressed. Your father is having breakfast with us."
He was thrilled, he'd hadn't seen his father in weeks it felt like. Finally a chance to talk and tell him how things have been going. Maybe they can make plans to do something together this time? He leapt from bed and made a straight line for his bathroom to get ready, shedding his pajamas and leaving a trail from his bed to bathroom door.
The woman, alone, shook her head as the smile melted right off of her face. While what she said was true. She couldn't shake the feeling this was about to be yet another disappointment for her son. She made his bed and picked up the trail of clothes and tossed it in the hamper by the door. "Better hurry before it gets cold," she teased as if he could have gone any faster.
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Posted: Sat May 07, 2016 7:46 pm
He'd sat as close as he could to the large somewhat intimidating man known as Charles. He'd watched him cut up his sausage and then eat each fork full with keen interest. The man didn't seem to notice one bit, a strange quiet unreadable determination as if he was lost in very important thoughts. He didn't even notice when Corbin took it upon himself to repeat his actions. When there was a pause in his eating. So was there a pause in Corbin's only with the addition of a very curious stare in Charles' direction. The hopeful staring went ignored. A new tactic was required.
"Bad weather lately, hn?," he'd tried a new approach to get his attention. He got an irritable grunt for his troubles. "Hey, I was thinking maybe we could uh. Do something together?" He tried to be more direct. Instead the man seemed to shift in his seat and point his eating away from them. Too strong or not strong enough? There was nothing to go on and now Corbin was starting to lose his audience. "Uh-uh maybe we can go uh... play football?"
Charles froze mid-chew and began laughing raucously, nearly choking on his food. "I'd snap you like a twig," he asserted. Then went right back to eating. At least it was a response and Corbin finally felt encouraged. "What then?" he asked with determination. Charles glared at Corbin, legitimately baffled how he couldn't get the hint. "I'm too busy," it was his go to.
"Uh-hum," Melanie cleared her throat not-so-subtly. She was sick of watching this spectacle and yes, Charles, she has been watching it the entire time. He doggedly looked at her and then Corbin. "Look, fine, if you can think of something that's not completely stupid. Maybe." That was good enough for Corbin to light right up again. He might as well have promised to s**t gold. "The zoo?" Corbin asked almost immediately. "What?! N-" Charles was outraged but could feel someone's gaze burning a hole right through him. "Whatever, fine," Charles muttered under his breath.
Corbin was so excited he rushed up the stairs to look up zoos and tell all his internet friends.
Charles frowned deeply at Melanie as soon as Corbin was out of earshot, "why are you doing this to me? You know how uncomfortable that boy makes me."
"He's harmless," she assured. "He's just having... trouble... fitting in. You remember how that was."
"No. I fit in just fine," he crossed his arms. "He's probably acting out because he's been babied so much."
"You're blaming me now? What about you? Must you be so harsh on him?" she was appalled he would even try that.
"Look, I have to get to work, can we discuss this later?"
She sighed, "it's always later with you isn't it?"
"I mean it this time," he assured.
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Posted: Sat May 07, 2016 8:42 pm
Corbin was so excited, they arranged, for sure, to go to the zoo tomorrow. Dad had taken that whole day off just for him. He stared at himself in the mirror. He'd decided to be on his best behavior so there would be no excuses. He turned the tap on and water began swirling down the drain. He dipped a wash rag under the water and then began soaping it up.
Something moved.
He lifted his head and looked around himself anxiously. Eyes wide. He could swear... but nothing was out of the ordinary. He was up later than usual in all honesty. Excitement kept him from even thinking about sleep in passing. He lathered the suds on his face.
Something was watching.
He could feel it. Instinctual. He was being watched. He blindly wrung the rag under the running water as fast as he could to get rid of the soap and wipe the suds from his eyes. He spun around the room, eyes clear. Nothing. The sensation however did not subside.
Something was there.
He could swear it on his life but nothing presented itself. He was losing it again. He sighed and turned back to the sink. Something was there. Something was watching. Something was moving and it reached right through the mirror at him as he stared wide-eyed at it.
He punched the mirror.
The glass webbed out across the surface and still it was there. Blackness, inky nothingness that continued to reach. To attack. His fist was bleeding all over the sink. The water continued to run, turning the filled basin pink and then suddenly dark as another appendage reached through to wrap around it and attempt to haul itself through.
Fight or flight.
Fight or flight.
Fight.
He grabbed anything he could find and threw it at the darkness. The wash rag, his toothbrush, a towel, the rug off the floor, a roll of toilet paper, even the small collapsible dowel that kept the toilet paper where it was. He had to do more. The sink began to overfill and pour down the counter onto the floor. Mingling with splatters of blood. The darkness followed the water. This wasn't working. He turned and ripped the towel rod off the wall. He swung it at the darkness repeatedly, again and again, it seemed to go right through, causing the shards of mirror to go flying all over the room. He'd stepped in it. Bloody footprints soon joined various debris all over the bathroom. The shadow was gone. So was the mirror. There was nothing left but the wood backing.
His bathroom door flew inwards, his father stood there staring at him wild eyed. A bat high above his head. He stopped when he saw. When he saw what Corbin had done.
He backed away slowly. Lowering the bat but not dropping it. Just in case.
An ambulance was called and though they waited for him in the waiting room. They were done. This was beyond them. It took several stitches to fix him up this time and despite his insisting it was the shadows again. No one believed him. There were no drugs in his system the doctors assured. They wished they could say they were comforted by that.
They were not.
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Posted: Tue May 10, 2016 7:40 pm
He could feel the soft repetitive squeak of his father's pacing on the floor. His mother nearby in a chair. They thought he couldn't hear their concerned voices echoing softly upwards from downstairs as they discussed his future. What to do with him now. Like some dog that bit the mailman one too many times.
"He can't stay here. We aren't equipped for this," the gruff voice he knew to be his father asserted. He could hardly make out what his mother said in reply. Something about doing what was best. Best for who? Best for him? Best for them?
He stood up and pushed his door slightly ajar and placed his ear just outside as voices began to rise in disagreement. His mother sounded like she was to her feet now as she shouted, "shut up before he hears you!" She was met with indifference towards her threat. The man even raising his voice as he'd stated, "I asked for a healthy baby, one to complete our family - they gave us some druggy whore's deficient leftovers." There was a sudden bang as someone threw something and it landed on the ground harmlessly. "He's our son! I don't care who gave birth to him," she pleaded and his voice dropped with an edge of shame. "That's not what I'm saying. There is something seriously wrong with his brain. I never would have hired someone if he wasn't..."
All Corbin could think about, as he took a step back, was the implications. His mother wasn't his mother, his father not his father? There were signs. They were both blonde, both with blue eyes, but just... his stomach fell and the rest of him was queasy. They continued to talk, he could catch parts here and there. Something about a facility. Better help. Far away.
He already felt far away. So very far away.
He staggered backwards and collapsed on his bed. He couldn't see straight as warm tears filled his eyes. He was adopted and they didn't want him anymore.
He could feel anger slowly easing into his thoughts, pushing hurt and loss aside to be replaced with anger. It wasn't my fault. I didn't ask to be treated like a disease. A cancer of this family. If they wanted me gone then, well, ******** fine then. I'll leave, I'll find a new family a family who wants me. A family that appreciates how -
His thoughts suddenly froze as quickly as they began as a long drawn out creak emanated from his door. The large frame of a trusted and loyal companion pushed its way through. They passed by the edge of his bed and Corbin sat up. He reached to run his fingers through the thick wiry black and peppery hairs lining their back. He felt at ease as the massive dog's huge clumsy paws pressed against the mattress, tipping him to slump against them as they climbed up to be at his side. The dog leaned back. Corbin threw his arms around the beast's shoulders and gave them a squeeze. Warm tongue lovingly stroked Corbin's cheek. He felt assured instantly that everything would be alright. His face soon buried in the creature's fur, sadness returning as he finally let himself cry. There was nothing wrong with crying, especially when you really truly were sad. There was no reason to make up other emotions to replace them...
He closed his eyes and suddenly felt heavy. So very heavy. As if he hadn't slept in a week.
The dog was back again, licking his cheek now with a sense of urgency. Paws prodding at his face. Desperate to rouse him.
Wake up.
Mom?
Wake Up.
Again?
WAKE UP.
NOW.
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Posted: Thu May 12, 2016 1:43 pm
He gasped suddenly. The rubble piled around him shifted by the sudden rapid movement of his chest heaving. He couldn't tell if his eyes were open, all that surrounded him was darkness, inky black smothering darkness. He felt heavy and tried to move but could not, pinned like a bug under someone's heel.
He could feel himself beginning to panic as his breaths picked up, faster and faster. He didn't know where he was, how he'd gotten here, or why he couldn't move. His eyes widened and he started to struggle. He gasped audibly. Pain taking his breath away and causing him to collapse again.
Don' move.
What was that? Who was there? He held perfectly still as his heart sank.
Ah got dis.
The voice was friendly and familiar and with a slow dawning realization, his heart returned to his chest where it belonged. "********, you scared the s**t out of me."
Ah guess we are even den. Y'scared me first.
His head was pounding and he could feel something in his hair but he couldn't even assess the damage, his arms uselessly pinned down. "Where are we? What happened?"
Ah dunno, undah ground? We fell. Don'cha remember?
He tried to remember but all he got for his effort was a headache. He tried to relax his muscles. He hadn't moved in so long that every effort felt like sharp pins and needles with hints of more pain to come even if he got feeling back into them.
"Am I going to die?" It was an unfair question and he knew it. Despite it, Nuru still answered as truthfully as he could with what he had.
Not if ah can help it.
It was true to a fault. Despite his best efforts to care for and mend his hunter, he quickly realized that a lot was out of his control. He has no feet to dig with, he can't make his hunter stand or get out with the injuries he has, he can't make food just appear to sustain them, he can't make people come and save them, he can't even heal fully with all the debris on his hunter. Some things broke and at this point, there was a high probability these things healed completely wrong as a result.
What frustrated the weapon most of all, was the accumulation of things he could not do to help them and how it all added up to being absolutely useless in their true hour of need. He couldn't 'help it'. He couldn't help them.
Corbin's eyes fluttered in the darkness as he could hear voices, distant at first but then growing and accumulating. They uttered nonsense that turned into echoes of his own doubts, crashing into Nuru's doubts. He was useless and he was going to die here, spoken in voices from the depths of his memories. "Is someone else here?" he called out. Nuru began growling as the voices drew closer and closer until they were being whispered directly into his ears as if being told a secret. These weren't secrets though, simply things he already knew.
He was a failure and he was going to die, slowly and horribly... and he badly wanted to go home.
They both failed.
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Posted: Sun May 15, 2016 5:59 pm
Little by little Corbin moved his arm back. Carefully boring a hole through the dirt and gravel under his body to grab his bag. It took a long time but he knew it would be worth it. Thank ******** they made him pack so heavy.
They?
"Nobody!" harsh mocking voices shouted in his ear.
They were back again. Did they ever even leave? The voices had been torturing him without an end in sight. Invading even his dreams. Always the same frustrating nightmare. Always about trying to go home but always failing horribly to get there. Always trying as hard as he could and every idea to do it that he could think of - it always ended in failure. The situation becoming more bleak than when he'd started. He was starting to wonder. Had he really already died? Was this hell? Was he being tortured for something he'd done but can't even remember?
"Nobody misses you. Nobody will remember you. Nobody is looking for you."
He closed his eyes, weight easing back atop his arm as it began to go numb. He wished the voices didn't sound so right all the time. A mirror, reflecting back what he already knew - or at least suspected.
"Don't give up," a different voice encouraged as best they could. Nuru's voice. Tired and weak. His hunter hadn't eaten or sated their thirst for far too long. They were starting to die and clearly starting to give up. "Y'have to keep going."
There was a long thoughtful pause before he swallowed dryly and asked, "Why?" A question Nuru couldn't answer for him. It still did not stop the weapon from trying. "Because he's waiting for you." This perplexed him. He couldn't really... he couldn't determine what Nuru had meant and after a while had to ask, "who?" Nuru in turn seemed equally confused by the question offered him. He honestly couldn't think of the answer. Just that he could have sworn... even the thought seemed to make his heart beat a little bit faster. They both felt it.
"For me then... and whatever y'feeling right now," Nuru offered the best answer he had.
Corbin ran with it. It was something and for once something that felt rather nice. He reached a little more now. Most of his arm now numb from the elbow to his palm. He relied entirely on his fingers to retrieve a bottle of water. Now warm but no less refreshing as he fished it free and took a deep swig. Arm stinging but so unimportant right now.
He tried to pace himself after that. He had to make all of his resources last. Just a little longer. Until he is found. Until he can go home.
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Posted: Sun May 15, 2016 6:23 pm
The nightmares became more and more intense. He could feel the last dregs of his sanity fading. Eyes open. Eyes closed. Darkness all the same. What did it matter anymore? He was out of food, the wrappers licked clean scattered about his trapped form. The bag had nothing left of use unless a compass could sprout wings and fly off to get help. He had a quarter of a bottle of water left. Nowhere near enough to sate his growing thirst. The voices had become more active. Even Nuru seems to have given up. He could feel his presence, laying there trying to conserve energy. Slow deep breaths were the only words of comfort he could offer now. An eye always open, always vigilant. Always watching.
The voices were even more active today. They had been mumbling nonsense for hours now. Not the usual nonsense. Different nonsense. The kind Corbin couldn't seem to figure out.
There was a sudden bright flash overhead and a glowing object tumbled down the hole and landed beside him. Corbin froze in terror. The voices are finally making their move. They have finally come to end him. They were getting closer and closer. They were calling his name. Nuru watched as Corbin closed his eyes tightly in fear. He pretended he was dead. No sense in killing a dead man, right?
He felt hands reaching out to grab him tightly by the shoulders. Other hands pushing and pulling the debris and then seizing him as soon as they got enough to hold. He felt himself being strapped down. He was still trapped. He couldn't move. They held him down with their many shadowy hands. He could feel himself rise, he felt weightless. The darkness began to recede and a warm bright white light blinded him.
Dark shapes moved frantically. Their voices urgent. He was being moved by their many many hands. SO many hands. He couldn't see. He was so sleepy. This was the end. His head slid down as muscles finally relaxed.
He was done.
Nuru had no more words of encouragement for him.
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Posted: Sun May 15, 2016 7:01 pm
The incessant beeping was driving him up a wall. It was just as bad as the voices. Perhaps moreso as it threatened to suddenly draw into a long steady wail of death. To come so far only to perish now. Tubes were attached to him every which way. Even swallowing felt wrong still. His eyes widened as he suddenly heard voices again.
"How long until he can come home", asked a woman. "Soon," said a man. "Tomorrow if he continues as he is doing now."
"What about Nuru?" asked another man. "I'm afraid they did not make it. He died shortly after the rescue." Corbin's heart sank. After everything Nuru did for him... He was the voice that kept him going. His faithful guardian. He never left his side. Not once. Never considered it. Corbin's eyes fluttered to fight back painful tears.
"Can we see him?" the man and woman seemed to ask at the same moment.
"Yes."
"Is he in pain?" The woman asked, trying not to directly point out her son's obvious tears as she took his hand and sat beside his bed.
"He better not be," growled his father as he stood over Corbin's bed and began pacing the floor like a caged beast.
"He shouldn't be in any physical pain. However, I cannot answer to anything beyond that." The doctor stepped out and left the family to catch up.
His mother began stroking his hair, "I'm so so sorry. You were never supposed to hear that fight. We weren't ever going to get rid of you." She looked at the man whom was still pacing. Clearly expecting him to say something. A gesture he picked up on quickly and ******** Corbin, you almost got yourself killed. Do you really think that's what either of us ******** wanted for you?!" He growled and resumed pacing twice as fast. "Look okay, I should have picked a much better ******** time and way to tell you. Yes, you were adopted but. It doesn't ******** matter. You're our son."
Corbin opened his eyes and peered up at his mother. There was a pleading. He was hurting so much. He was on strong painkillers but his heart ached terribly. He wanted to explain. But there was a tube preventing his words from reaching her. She looked surprised and kissed him on the forehead repeatedly. "Don't worry. We can talk later. You are coming home with us as soon as soon as the doctor clears you."
"Yes," his dad agreed loudly, "we have your room ready for you and everything. As soon as you are healed we are going straight home."
This wasn't what he wanted. His eyes widened. He started his own family right? That wasn't his home anymore. It was wrong it was all wrong. He wanted to go home. He wanted to go to his home. The right home. The home he moved on to. But why couldn't he remember it?
"Let's go home," his parent's repeated in unison.
Let's Go-
Home.
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Posted: Thu Jun 02, 2016 6:53 pm
He was constantly shifting in and out of his nightmares. Unable to tell one from another, let alone where the truth in anything was. He relived so much over and over again, some real, some maybe not real. Something always seemed different. Maybe not different. Maybe something was simply just missing. Something missing and he was desperately trying to remember what it was.
He couldn't remember.
Everything seemed to lead up to... what did it lead up to? His rescue? False rescues? He was fading in and out again, everything turning darker. The dreams. Reality. Color drained away.
He was running out of time. They were running out of time.
The only constant, his loyal companion.
Nuru tried to remind him distantly of that dream he'd had recently. Was it last night? The night before? A week ago? So many bright beautiful neon lights. A big city you could spend your entire life lost in. Everything so loud and exciting. He was scared then, but it was a paranoia sort of fear. The kind of fear he found ridiculous after waking up. Maybe it was the future. Maybe it meant he would not die here. Maybe though it was the loss of the remainder of his sanity, the fevered dreams of a man who's brain was melting into uselessness.
Everything seemed so black and white after that.
His head throbbed.
All he wanted was to go home.
There were no rations left for a while.
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Posted: Sat Jun 04, 2016 5:45 pm
He doesn't remember blinking for a long while. Perhaps his eyes were closed. He thought for sure he'd opened them. He tried to open them. He was sure he still wasn't blinking.
He lied like this for a long time, he lost track. He decided to listen to his breathing. Shallow as it may be. It was a comforting reminder he was still alive. There was still hope. There was still...
He drew a deep bodily breath.
He fell completely still.
There was a lot of nothingness. Nothing for a long time.
Then there was water. Water all around him. It was warm and comforting. He could hear a soft thumping. It was still dark. He still couldn't see. He still couldn't tell if his eyes were even open. He hazarded to take a breath after some time, but was met with the fluid filling his mouth, filling his lungs. He immediately choked and struggled. He was forced, eventually to take in more. Painfully. The thumping slowed. He slowed.
The thumps were joined by one word, repeated over and over again, one word that seared itself into him. The word "home". The thumping stopped, but the words continued.
He hung limply in the vast expanse of the water, when it suddenly opened up. A single point of light at first, but then it grew and grew. Blinded by searing white.
He heard voices, it was just like the nightmares again, the voices called out to him but they weren't real. They were never real.
He welcomed the darkness again.
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Posted: Sat Jun 04, 2016 5:55 pm
The darkness was fleeting though and soon it gave way to the bright blinding light again, made worse by the pristine white that everyone wore.
They moved about him like a swarm of bees just before the darkness crept in again.
He curiously wondered if this is what purgatory was like. Somewhere between the darkness and the light. Were they taking turns fighting over his soul?
"Home," the voices whispered again.
Was his soul worth it?
He hoped it was worth it.
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Posted: Sat Jun 04, 2016 6:02 pm
He was in and out as darkness and light battled tirelessly.
It was quiet.
As he stared down at a small cup with some jiggly red squares that had been placed in front of him, he still was not entirely sure which side won.
Everything still hurt. Was he still down in that pit? Where was this supposed to be? It wasn't familiar.
He looked at the few chairs that decorated the room. They were vacant, unlike in the previous nightmares.
It took a few moments to set in, as he took the spoon to poke the strange blobs, just how alone he still felt. Even when he supposedly had been saved.
He felt his face heat up, he knew he was crying.
There were no tears though. He had nothing left to lend them.
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