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 Posted: Fri May 06, 2016 6:34 pm
It had taken about an hour for Rodney to get himself together, and sometime afterward he found an apology fruit cocktail on the kitchen counter, in consideration for Rodney's state of hydration.
He drank it on the couch with a curly straw.
What had Lawrence been trying to do then, if not...attacking. Him.
Why would he attack you over that in the first place?
"I don't know if he's been handling things well, recently," Rodney said in what was probably an understatement. It had been his own assumption, and had made...sense at the time. In the immediate fog of guilt and self blame, that sin and wrongdoing would be met with violence. That he had it coming. And that nothing was going to stop it.
But Lawrence had stopped. And looked just as disturbed by the thought of it. As if the thought of inflicting violence was...just as appalling to him.
It made more sense that he had just been...frustrated. He couldn't have really known.
"Do I talk to him about it?" Rodney asked softly. "I...I should apologize."
You apologized about a thousand times. Only if it would make you feel better, and I don't have to hear about this for the next month. What are you even apologizing for.
"I don't know," Rodney said, tucking up his knees.
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Posted: Fri May 06, 2016 6:54 pm
Lawrence had been avoiding Rodney and he felt like it was with very good reason given what had happened. He didn't know what would go on from here or if the other man would even stay with them in the room after it all.
He'd gone into the bedroom and lay on the bed after the clash and stayed there for some time, still strung up but with no outlet, not sure what was wrong with him at all or what it was making him do. Or maybe it wasn't making him do anything, maybe all the issues were innate and this was just his normal libido.
Finally he got up to get something to eat and retrieving an apple sat neatly next to Rodney, all of his movements as slow and inoffensive as he could make them. He didn't know what to say, so he didn't say anything at all.
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Posted: Fri May 06, 2016 7:06 pm
"Hi," Rodney started quietly, taking another drink.
His hair was still a little damp.
His voice was soft, and heavy with regret. He had been going to do some studying. He hadn't calmed down all the way.
"I...know I, overreacted. I'm...still working on it. It's why, in battle...I know I'm not handling it well. I wish I wasn't...the way I was."
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Posted: Fri May 06, 2016 7:18 pm
"It is fine." he said. He didn't know how to say that the way he had reacted had saved him from whatever whim had taken Lawrence at the time. "You reacted in a perfectly reasonable manner...I think. I couldn't say what a reasonable way to respond to that was."
He took a bite of the apple, chewed neatly and swallowed and said "I am more tense than I have ever been. I do not normally get so distracted, I knew it would eventually spill over in some way to violence, I just did not expect it to be in that fashion or towards you. I didn't want to hurt you." he cleared his throat. "I was trying to do something else. I just needed two hands to hold you while I kissed you, Butch seemed like the answer."
He looked at the apple thoughtfully. "He was not. But I am glad anyway. I don't know if I would have been satisfied with just that. You should probably get away from me, for your own sake."
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Posted: Fri May 06, 2016 7:35 pm
Rodney seemed entirely surprised by that.
"Kiss?" He asked, abandoning the straw and touching his mouth nervously. "But I never...I mean, I haven't..."
There was a slow draw of realization, although it was all sort of a blur of panic. Had he?
"Oh." Rodney said. "Oh, well." He looked very hard at his drink.
That was different, then.
"So you weren't upset about me. ...It was because, you needed someone, right?" Rodney said very quietly. "Because of the trouble you've had lately."
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Posted: Fri May 06, 2016 7:46 pm
Lawrence tensed up bodily as he considered what you could even say and found himself almost offended when Rodney presented him an excuse without him even having to come up with it.
"I wasn't upset about you no." he said. "If anything I have always been pleased to know you are human. It was yes, frustration. It's all I've been able to think about. It does not excuse the way I behaved or intended to behave."
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Posted: Fri May 06, 2016 7:55 pm
"Right. Yes. I...you just have...a very funny definition of human. You think that makes me more, but you're...not, somehow."
Rodney drank again.
"It's...that's alright. Sorry. I would have reacted differently. If I thought..."
Lawrence had never been this desperate. When it came to him, Lawrence was always polite. Very polite. And it didn't feel right either, that still with a gaping wound, it had been all he could think about. Lawrence had stared at him to the point of distraction.
"Lawrence, do you think something's wrong?"
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Posted: Fri May 06, 2016 8:04 pm
Lawrence fixated on the question about something being wrong. It had been a lingering concern for some time that maybe something actually was wrong with him, that maybe something deeper than just the usual fixations were at play. He rubbed his temple with his thumb. "Maybe." he said. "There was someone there on the mission." he said, slightly strained. "A clone. Said something about things being harder. Could have been about anything but I just don't know."
He didn't think Rodney would have reacted much different if he had any idea about all of it.
"I'm always attracted to you and to other people obviously but it is not normally quite like this. I have more ..downtime? Normally."
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Posted: Fri May 06, 2016 8:17 pm
Rodney wrung his hands worriedly.
"Things have been harder for you," he said, meaning this earnestly. "Since you've come back you proposed to me. And um, and propositioned everyone we know. You're always...more restrained, when it comes to me, and I know...anyway, I appreciate..."
Rodney took a deep breath.
"I'll...believe you. I won't be afraid. I know you want to fix everything on your own. And that you've been trying so hard. But if it's something that's beyond...your ability to handle, maybe...you should. Ask for help."
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Posted: Fri May 06, 2016 8:41 pm
"Help?" and this was enough to make him laugh. "Who on this island would help me? Rodney, you see the world in the nature of people, many of the people on the island have heard about me. Even glancingly. They think I'm a scheming scumbag and they aren't far wrong. I am so many credibility points. Oh I made that Lawrence guy look an idiot etcetera."
He ate his apple again for a few more moments. "You should still be afraid." he said, gesturing with his hand and the fruit in Rodney's direction.
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Posted: Fri May 06, 2016 8:57 pm
"There's at least one person who will."
Rodney put his hand very delicately over Lawrence's stump.
"We can ask Harrison."
He seemed taken aback, though, by the last sentence. The you should still be afraid made him want to burst into tears all over again. He wanted to ask... But he'd just promised...but for Lawrence to only say that in response...
"Why, are you going to hit me?" He asked shakily.
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Posted: Sat May 07, 2016 4:06 am
Lawrence did not look even slightly impressed about the idea of asking Harrison, but the fact remained that of all the people in the divisions he'd run into the man's sincere concern in spite of his sarcasm and acerbic wit was probably the best bet.
He shook his head. "No, probably not." he said. "I admit I do veer towards the sadistic at times which is really really problematic when it comes to behaving like a good person, but hitting you isn't satisfying nor something I want to do. I was trying to er...seduce you. Earlier. Not hit you. I only injure people who frustrate me and your ability to frustrate me seems seperate from intention."
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Posted: Sat May 07, 2016 8:07 am
"I think...we should head over today."
Rodney didn't think Lawrence should really be injuring anyone, but he got an incredulous look at seduction. It hadn't exactly been low-dimmed lights and a glass of wine.
"You..." he wound his fingers in his scarf. It had felt like an attack. At the time.
"Um, also. Did...did Butch. Seem different, to you?"
That had also factored some into the reaction.
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Posted: Sat May 07, 2016 8:37 am
"If you say we should then.." he shrugged his shoulders "I don't mind confirming that it is simply some subconscious response to trauma or change if need be."
He didn't savour failure in any way so for the most part avoided revisiting his foiled attempt to "seduce" the other man. He knew that it hadn't been seduction at all, that he had been trying seduction for months at this point and that that moment had been something else entirely, but it made it easier to sugar coat it.
He was still pent up, even while he considered everything that had happened and tried to regret it he could only regret that he'd been forced to give up.
"Butch?" he said, looking slightly puzzled. "He doesn't look different to me?" But he couldn't in actual fact remember anything about the weapon, having been too focused on Rodney. He got out of the couch, crossing the room entirely. "I'm going to summon him." he warned, looking flighty himself at the prospect Rodney would have another moment.
And he did as he said, and looked surprised when Butch wasn't as he expected, reaching all the way up to his shoulders, very different than he had been.
"You think this is part of it?" he asked and fanned the long, dangerous glassy talons.
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Posted: Sat May 07, 2016 8:43 am
On this occasion, Rodney showed absolutely no signs of panic.
"No, it's alright." he said. He didn't mind Lawrence's partner. Just when he had been darkly accused of something and had ten sets of sharp objects rushing towards him.
He folded his hands, and waited quietly.
When Butch did appear, his mouth formed a tiny "o" of surprise. Things had gone a little quickly for him to process.
"Yes," Rodney said, "I thought...especially with your shoulder. Butch, are you feeling alright?" Had...something happened to him?
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