|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Sun May 01, 2016 9:37 am
Melody waited out by the exit to the city. It was quiet, familiar, and most of all private. She texted Lawr the directions and waited patiently for his arrival.
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun May 01, 2016 9:53 am
Lawrence was in a much better mood that day than he had been for Reasons, and made his way over to meet with Melody with a very contented smile on his face. He was dressed as usual a lot less severe than he had been previously with a loose sweater. He was looking less gaunt and starved and a bit more alert and keen, looking her over with a complimentary smile as he approached.
"You wanted me?" he said.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun May 01, 2016 10:29 am
Melody turned with her usual bright smile and curtsy. "A pleasure to see you again sir."
As she straightened up, she seemed a bit perplexed. Lawr looked very different from the last time they met. Well, very was a bit much. Mostly just... rounder and more wrapped in a sweater.
She wiped the look from her face with a pleasant smile. "That text limit made it so difficult to discuss such a complicated issue you see," she explained.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun May 01, 2016 10:41 am
"Pleasure's mine Melody." he said, slightly uncertain in how friendly he was being to the young woman, aware that his initial intentions in befriending her had almost entirely been to get her into bed and yet he was still here, still speaking to her. He wasn't out to sleep with her this time so in theory it was all right, he was in the moral clear.
"It can be difficult." he agreed. "And it seems to make some people very angry whenever anyone talks to me. Understandably, but it is still a little upsetting."
Shrugging his shoulders he stretched idly like a contented cat. "What was it you wanted to talk about?"
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun May 01, 2016 10:52 am
Melody had already mostly forgiven Lawr's creepy outburst the other day. But clearly not entirely as she stood at arms length away from him and at no point offered her hand. Also a usual pleasantry that she generally reserved just for the man as he appeared to have the manners to handle it. Now his manners had been called into question. But, she was not here about that in any case.
"Mostly a continuation of what we were discussing publicly. Though, obviously far less so now." She gave him a curious look. "Why do you believe you are so broken? You seem very functional to me."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun May 01, 2016 11:04 am
Lawrence had noted Melody hanging back in her greeting and felt that it was only appropriate. It was almost reassuring to note that she had decided to treat him with more distance, it meant that she had at least taken note of what he had said to her. It made him feel a little safer.
"Oh I'm usually capable of seeming functional. And I AM functional. I would not have gotten as far as I have if I wasn't capable of making a passable impression of humanity. The problem generally is that I seem to do a lot of things which are considered socially unacceptable and it's just not all right."
He gave her a smile. "I want to be a good person, to be more than just someone who exists."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun May 01, 2016 11:11 am
"What is wrong that has you suddenly drawing yourself into question so strongly? You admit yourself you are functional... and clearly you have some idea that you've done wrong or you wouldn't be concerned that you aren't a good person." She tilted her head with concern at him.
"Of course, without getting too personal. I mean."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun May 01, 2016 11:24 am
"Oh I just know. It was as if one day I woke up from a nightmare only to realise that it had all been very very real and I had left a trail of hurt people in my wake, breaking up families and shattering lives. It is all I can do now to learn how to begin to move forward differently, even if I can never make it right with anyone." he nodded. "That is why I am trying these things."
"Though I appreciate the faith you have in me."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun May 01, 2016 12:14 pm
"Trying too much too soon might cause you to burn out and not change anything at all though," there was a gentle warning to her done. "I know from experience."
She sighed though, "what sort of things are you trying? Because asking people to tell you how to act seems worrisome to me.."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun May 01, 2016 1:49 pm
"Maybe." he said, but it was with a hidden edge of condescension, not really believing that the "experience" of a very young woman in any way compared to his own experiences where complete upheavals and changes were a restorative action. It made him think about America again, wielding a phoenix, the very symbol of rebirth while persistently denying him his. It made him tense to think about it.
"I think I will be okay, I'm taking it slow."
Shrugging he went on. "I am trying to apologise for the horrible ways I have hurt people, telling them the truth about my intentions in the past and my intentions going forward. I am trying to balance these things with my own needs which I am told should be last priority. As far as asking people, that is the only chance I have to learn."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun May 01, 2016 2:02 pm
"It feels a bit crude and blunt how you're going about it if I'm perfectly honest. If you have ... urges. You really shouldn't confess them to the person on a public forum," going that specific was hard enough for her and she felt her face burning as her face turned a bright pink.
"Ah, in any case. I think at least that may be good advice to an extent. I mostly go by how I would like to be treated when determining how to treat someone. Is that not good enough standards to go on for you?" She was uncertain if perhaps in secret he may have been a masochist and not exactly a good guideline for treating other persons. She really didn't want to know if that was the case or not however.
"Having an apology accepted, at least, takes time. A lot of time. You offer it as best and as meaningfully as you can and then give them space. I'm probably not the best person to really be talking about this anyway. I was just... I don't know, worried. I've seen people trying to make amends before and none of them asked someone else to fix their behavior for them. It just makes the apology seem... hollow."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun May 01, 2016 2:31 pm
He couldn't help but look nonplussed at her bringing up him admitting that he'd only been so nice to her solely to get her into bed on twitter. She didn't seem to have understood him at all. He raised a brow. "Well. I am sorry that upset or embarrassed you, I was simply trying to be frank with you that that was my primary aim in getting to know you. I thought you were attractive and those particular urges turned very firmly in your direction. I wanted to warn you that you shouldn't trust that me you knew and apologise to you for befriending you under such awful pretences."
He laughed. "And no, I'm afraid going by how I would like to be treated wouldn't quite work. There is a lot I can endure which other people could not and vice versa. It's not a good measure." Besides, they weren't divine, they hadn't earned the perfection he embodied, it would be all wrong.
"Yes, I don't expect my apologies to be accepted very quickly either, it takes time." he did however drop his smile and turn a little flat and cold as she mentioned hollowness.
"Maybe it is hollow." he said coldly. "Maybe that's all it can ever be."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun May 01, 2016 5:44 pm
Melody sighed, "I wasn't trying to put you down and I understood the warning for what it was. It just was not the right place at all for me. Like a deliberate attempt at making me look less... virtuous." She tried to flower up what she was saying but still turned redder and redder with every word.
Lawr's tone did however make her uncomfortable enough to step back a pace. "It's not hollow when any part of you means it. Even if it's just your head and not your heart."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun May 01, 2016 5:55 pm
"I apologise for being out of place. I did not mean to harm your virtue and I sincerely and honestly doubt that anyone else on twitter thought any less of you. They all know that I am a sleaze who will sleep with anything with a pulse. You didn't fall for it, they don't think less of you, but I am sorry anyway." he shrugged, seeming to slip back into his relaxed attitude from the cold stare she'd gotten.
"Well my head means it, I don't know if I even have a heart in anything other than the organ sense of the word."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun May 01, 2016 6:00 pm
Melody looked extremely confused by his final remark, "Is that what they meant when they said that you could not feel?"
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
