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This had been a bad idea and he knew it. He knew his emotions were volatile, even more so after that damn knight meeting dealing with the code. But still the squire had contacted the page, he wanted to meet… to talk… to fight.

Havasu Falls, Squire of Pluto, paced back and forth in the shadows of trees that edged a grassy meadow outside the city. He had picked a place far from the city proper, no one was around to interfere. It was a risk since having them there would mean that they would be easy to sense but he was hoping they would be out of range of anyone who would bother to look.

The night was clear, with the city twinkling in the distance Hav could almost imagine that the last few months never happened. Caedus had never shown up, had never talked them into the suicide mission, had never… With a growl the knight forced his mind away from that train of thought. After two months of drinking away the pain, emotional and physical, he was ready to take his frustrations out another way but first he had to do something.

“What? Can't I just ask you out to see how you're holding up?” Hav smiled, it was hard and laced in ice. How much of the irritation that was building in him was normal? Was it just frustration with the fact that the page standing in front of him was likely still in contact with Phact…. That he liked her and was probably even making a move on her. He had to squash that thought before it had him jumping the poor page.

“How are your ribs? All healed?” His shoulder still ached sometimes but that was expected especially after dislocating it three times, twice ‘in the line of duty.’ That's actually part of the reason his split with Phact still pissed him off. It wasn't like he deliberately hurt himself when going after that giant youma. Hell, all he was trying to do was take care off it so no one else got hurt.

“I actually asked you out to see if you wanted to train some. You know, ‘practice makes perfect’ and stuff.” He figured it would help ease the animosity he felt towards the other Pluto knight and he would be teaching the page some practical skills. Win, win right? It never crossed his mind that maybe this fight wasn't a good thing.

Havasu nodded, he would have to be careful of Nirvana’s ribs since he didn't want to really hurt the guy… Just beat him up just a bit. Regardless what a dark little voice wanted. “Just a bit of sparring. Nothing more, nothing less.” That wasn't quite true but Havasu couldn't just give him what Hav needed to. Not yet at least.

With that out of the way the Squire finally let some of his anxious energy lose. Without any warning, although his agreement that it was just sparring should have been warning enough, the knight rushed at the page. He had learned a lot and unlike what he would have done last year this rush was more of a feign then a true attack. He wanted to see just what his opponent was made of. What would Nirvana do?

The page was at least smarter than Hav was at first, when he saw the ‘enemy’ rushing him he dodged to the side and set it up to potentially take down the rushing opponent. What Nirvana miscalculated was Hav not being the kind of fighter he expected, not that the knight really could blame him since the squire knew he was kind of known for jumping into a fight feet first.

Keeping up his momentum Hav kept his course, he really only had a split second to change it anyway, but rather than trip like Nirvana set him up to do he jumped over the obstruction and kept going to a bit before coming to a stop, the heels of his boots digging into the ground slightly. Turning to face the page Hav smiled slightly, it wasn't terribly friendly look, “you know what they say, ‘expect the unexpected’ and all that crap.” He slowly circled Nirvana, keeping well back. The other knight was fast and Hav wasn't sure he would be fast enough to dodge if they were any closer.

The squire lapsed into silence, keeping his pace slow and steady as he kept his eyes on the page. His mind was racing trying to come up with the best plan. The moves he was learning was mostly takedowns but he still wasn't proficient in them. Finally, with a inkling of an idea Hav made his move. He suddenly went from circling the knight to heading for him… Sort of, since on a straight path he would be passing to the right of Nirvana, right past the other knight close enough for all kinds of mischief.

Suddenly he cut to the left and sped up, heading for Nirvana’s left side, hoping to land a ‘soft’ punch to his lower gut. Even as the strange anger coiled in him, Hav didn’t want to really hurt the page so he was pulling his punches and would do his best to stay away from Nirvana’s right ribs.

Havasu stumbled as Nirvana used his own momentum against him, the squire ended up on his knees with one arm keeping him out of the dirt. He was trying to climb back to his feet, pretty much ignoring what the page had said, when a foot to his butt had him eating grass. After a moment his head popped up, a dirt smear on his cheek, and spit out a few blades of grass. His green eyes were squinted in anger, with a growl he got up and faced Nirvana uncaring about the hat he left behind on the ground, or the dirt and grass stains on his knees and the rest of the uniform.

The dirt wasn’t unusual but the hat was, Hav liked his hat. He liked the whole cowboy persona thing and the hat was a big part of it so he liked to keep it on whenever possible. Hell when he got drunk that first time after the negaverse fight one of his bitching points that he harped on was his hat, mostly because he was in a crowded bar and couldn’t really vent the rest safely. So it was strange that he hadn’t grabbed the hat when he was getting back on his feet, it was even worse when he kicked the hat away uncaring where it went.

With gritted teeth the sandy haired guy went and tried to tackle the dark haired page. He wasn’t really thinking about this as a training session, or even as a friendly fight. He wasn’t thinking about much more than wanting to punch the smug little b*****d’s face in. The squire hadn’t fully realized that his own anger was fueling the chaos from the code, and vise versa, making it that much easier for him to completely lose his cool. Or just how bad an idea this fight had been.

Maybe it was the pain in his wrist, or the tingling in his fist from connecting with Nirvana’s jaw, or the blood the fellow knight spit out, or any one of a dozen things but something made Havasu mentally sit back and breathe. It was like a switch had been flipped in his mind, one moment he was seeing red and wanted to hurt the page, the next all Hav wanted to do was get as far away from him as possible. He wasn’t worried about what Nirvana was going to do, hell, everything the page was saying lined up with that fact, but the squire was worried what he might do to the page.

Scrambling to his feet, the sandy haired knight ignored the offered hand up. He backed away, one hand up in a peaceful manner, warding off any offer or assistance Nirvana might try to give while his right hand rubbed at his face, trying to rub some sense in. He was trying to center himself. Trying to get his head on straight and to cool the anger he still felt deep in the pit of his stomach. Once he felt like he was far enough away Havasu stopped and took a deep breath. With a gentle shake of his head Hav said, “This was a bad idea. God, it was a horrible idea.”

He glanced at Nirvana before turning away, he felt bad for hitting him and yet there was still a part of him that wanted to hit him more. Rather than tempt himself more he walked away towards the treeline, where he had left something in a plastic bag. “Look I know it’s not your fault. I just…” Havasu trailed off unable to finish or even vocalize the frustration, pain, and anger swirling in him. Still working on controlling his emotions he grabbed his bag and fished out a smallish black velvet jewelry box. His fingers ran over the case carefully, lovingly, before he turned and tossed it at Nirvana. “Give that to her.” He didn’t have to say who, the page would know who he meant. “Just,” Havasu hesitated a moment, “Just don't tell it came from me. I don’t care what you tell her… just not from me.”

For the moment the pain he felt was overriding the rage at knowing Nirvana would be the one to give her the necklace. He would be the one who would be able to see her face when she opened it up and saw the delicate silver dove surrounded by a gold heart and a dozen ruby chips. He might even be able to clasp the gold chain behind her neck while she held her dark hair back. Be able to smell her, that scent that was only her. To feel the warmth of her body as the necklace settles about her neck. He was the one that would see Hav’s gift rest against her skin. He was the one who would get the thanks for Hav’s present! He… With a curse the squire slammed his fist into the side of a tree, the bark biting into the side of his hand. The pain, physical this time, drowning the rage that had started to build again.

It would had been Havasu’s valentine's day gift to Phact if only… if only.

Gritting his teeth Havasu turned away from Nirvana, out of sight out of mind hopefully. “Go away. Go home… take care of your jaw.” It was the only apology the page was going to get for now as the anger continued to seethed within him, mixed with pain and anguish, fed by the taint.

“Well LIFE isn’t fair!” Hav practically shouted in anger as he turned to face Nirvana. He had taken a step towards the page before stopping himself, taking a few calming breaths as he leaned against the tree he had hit earlier. He could feel the bark tangling in his hair, digging into his hands, he could even imagine the stillness of the tree soaking into him, helping him keep his emotions on a tight leash. With a sigh he slid down the trunk until he was sitting on the ground, roots poking him in the backside while the bark dug into his coat. Hav scrubbed his face for a moment before looking up to the boughs of the tree, “I don’t care what you do with the necklace Nirvana. Eat it, bury it, sell it, give it away, wear it your self… I. Don’t. Care. I just can’t look at it anymore. I can’t see it on my desk and wonder what went wrong. Wonder what I could have done different. I can’t.” A few months of drinking and fights proved to himself that he couldn’t keep this up much longer even if the anger inside him was still burning bright.

Havasu couldn’t keep the humorless laugh inside as his fellow knight expressed concern for him. “You're the one who got punched, not me. I just got a boot to the a**, which some would say is necessary.” Huffing a bit he turned his head just enough to see Nirvana, “Go home. Ice your jaw. I promise I’m not going to do anything stupider than what I already did tonight.” That technically left a lot of things open to him but Hav wasn’t planning on doing any of them. The anger was dieing out and the guilt was replacing it; guilt for punching Nirvana, guilt for getting in more fights than he had in years, guilt for drinking most of his nights away, for worrying his friends, his family, neglecting his cat, and being an overall tool. Hav knew that sooner or later the guilt would swing back into anger which would ‘require’ some kind of self destructive action, normally in the form of getting drunk, before it swung back to pity and guilt. So rather than wait for the circle to start again he climbed to his feet, it was time to leave and if Nirvana wasn’t then he needed too.

As tempting as it was to help the page up Hav wasn’t certain the guilt over hitting him would hold so better safe than sorry. He shoved his hands in his jacket pockets and started back towards Nirvana, stopping once he had reached his hat. Bending down he snached it out of the grass and absently began to clean it. “I…. I might be going away for a little while. Get out of the city and all that.” He knew his folks were worried about him. Hav had heard them talking and knew that if they could swing it he would be pulled from classes and sent somewhere, anywhere, to deal with this. With a sigh he shoved his hat on and started the long walk back to the city, where he could get lost in the wren of streets. He paused only once, his back to the page as he faced the lights of the city, “Take care of her.” Nothing more, nothing less, just a simple request. With that he left. He left to go hide himself in his room with only his cat for company at least until the anger once more overtook the sadness and guilt.