Although it was probably the safest and most comfortable place Jani had slept in a long time, the night was anything but calm for her. Her sleep was sporadic, thanks to the thoughts that kept jumping into her mind, thoughts about her past, and how much she really missed her home. The green lion shifted, hoping that changing her position would help her sleep. It didn't. She couldn't stop thinking about her home, the Tete'boma.
It was where she'd grown up, just a small cub, born into the role of a Lady, she followed closely in her mothers footsteps, wanting to be just like her, perfect in every way, someone that the other lionesses could look up to, someone that they would respect. She'd worked her way to the top of her social ladder, commanding most of the ladies in her court. She really only answered to the royal family. Everyone else was beneath her in her eyes. She was a Lady, and you couldn't get much better than that.
When she was betrothed she was excited, yet nervous at the same time. It was a common thing in the pride, to be promised to another, and she'd expected no different for herself. Secretly, the green lioness wished she would be betrothed to the king, or even to his brother, anything to further her status. It had never happened, of course, but she was betrothed to a dark, friendly, quiet and charming young lion called Kubwa. He was sweet, but the two were barely more than friends when the king called him up to send him out into the rogue lands to scout, to find out about the world outside, and to perhaps bring others back with him.
Jani shifted again, to try to get the thoughts out of her mind. There was no point dwelling on the past, it was gone now, and there was no way to get it back. She was tired of it all, tired of the life she was living now. What she wanted now was a good sleep. Was that so hard?
It would be tonight, her mind decided, for no sooner had the green lioness closed her golden eyes, her thoughts were back where they were moments ago, reminiscing about her youth.
With Kubwa gone, Jani was left to worry. What if he did not come back? Would she find another to be betrothed to? She hoped not. She'd started to like Kubwa, and the time apart seemed to be convincing her even more so. She wasn't sure she wanted another mate. No, it would be Kubwa. She was sure of it. Together they would be a great pair, she could see it all now, their children would be perfect, the perfect little lord and lady. They would only have 2. Anymore and their class would not be the same, and Jani didn't want to have that taint on her bloodline. Their daughter would probably be betrothed to the prince. Everything would be perfect.
So she started waiting for him. Everyday, whenever she had the time, she would walk to the edge of the pridal borders and sit, looking out into the rogue lands, hoping she would one day see Kubwa return to her, to be her Lord, and she to be his Lady. After a long time, he finally returned. She didn't quite know how to handle herself at first, but she soon fell into a comfortable place and the two's relationship accelerated.
Jani soon found she was pregnant.
The green lioness got up from her spot in the cave a shook herself. Her children were something she didn't really like to think about. There was too much bad there, now, in hindsight, she knew she'd handled her children badly. But what was she to do? They weren't what she'd expected at all. Quite the opposite in fact. Morasha started out perfect, but she soon grew distant and distracted, not something that the green lioness wanted. Her sons were okay, but they always seemed distracted. They lacked the ambition she wanted for her children. Then there was Omi. As soon as she could talk the two clashed. Their bad relationship caused friction in her otherwise flawless relationship with Kubwa. The bad relationship had even taken it's toll on her the court, often were there whispers behind her back from the other ladies, she was losing their respect and her standing.
She couldn't say she wasn't happy when her daughter fled. At least for a short moment. However not long after things soon went further south. The plague, which had stricken much of the pride back several years ago, returned, and with it, wiping out much of the pride. It plunged the lands into chaos. There was no order, it was every lion for themselves. When the king and queen died it was the last straw, and soon the pride lands were abandoned in a rush. In the chaos Jani found herself lost and alone. Kubwa, ever much the lord, had disappeared trying to fulfill wishes of the king. Her sons too were lost, and her last remaining daughter.
She tried to tag along with some of the other survivors, but they had no time for the green Lady now that there was no ranks and hierarchy. It wasn't long before she found herself alone. From then on she had no one, it was just the green lioness against the world.
And she did the best she could, but it was tough out in the rogue lands. Especially since she was never really taught how to take care of herself. A lady always had someone to wait on her, and her Lord took care of a lot of things for her as well. So she had to adapt, but it was hard. Sometimes she did things she would regret later, but it would get her through the night. Never in her wildest dreams did she imagine she would end up in a place like this.
She shifted once more, desperate to sleep, her eyes were heavy now, and she could feel the drowsiness of slumber imminent. Finally, she thought as she rested her chin on her paws. Now that the thoughts were gone, she could finally get some sleep. She only hoped she wouldn't dream. When she did it was never good, and they were often draining.
Jani finally fell asleep, her mind settled, for that night at least.
