Nise-e felt a sense of loss that she almost couldn’t comprehend. Such a complete soul bearing loss that she felt like she was drowning in it. Consuming her until nothing remained but a shell of who she was before. Sure, she hadn’t been with the herd long before the attack hit. Sure, she wasn’t the one to go head first into a fight. But this place had become her home, her life. She had wanted to protect it. They had protected her and she wanted to return the favor. But yet, it wasn’t enough. She wasn’t good enough. And now, as everyone had scattered to safer lands as the fire engulfed their home, working to rebuild what everyone had lost, she was sitting to the side watching her friend, her best friend, fight for his life.
Xander had given her everything, having met when they were both tiny children. They had done everything together from that point onwards. Eating, sleeping, exploring, getting into trouble with the adults. They had done it all. And when she did the stupid thing of turning to fight instead of fleeing like she should have, he had gotten in the way in order to protect her. He had been willing to put his life on the line for hers. Why? Because he cared about her, loved her. And now she could lose him. Just the mere thought of it brought a deep sense of despair and anguish inside of herself.
“You can’t leave Xan. We still have too much to do,” she whispered down to her hawk partner.
She watched him breath in shallow increments, having been brought to one of the herd healers for tending. They were able to stabilize him, but now it was up to his own body to heal the rest of the way. Nise-e wished with everything in her soul to help him do that, to heal and be well again. To join her in flight and chase the clouds across the sky. But now she wasn’t sure if he’d ever be able to again. And what then? Sure she would carry him while she was flying. But would he let her do that for him? Or would he be too embarrassed? Would his pride get in the way of him feeling the breeze above them as they soared through the sky? However, the first hurdle would be to see if the herd leaders would allow him to stay. If he couldn’t fly anymore, and the herd they were in was based upon flight born creatures, would he have to leave?
Nise-e couldn’t bear that thought. And she had to remind herself that they had to take it one step, one day at a time. She was getting too far ahead of herself. He had to live first. He had to open his eyes and get back to full health. Nise-e looked up to the sky, unshed tears upon her face.
“Please, if you’re listening Gods, help Xander heal. Let him feel the wind through his feathers again. Please help him come back to his family. We…I need him. He’s my best friend, my first friend in life.”
They were partners for life, and Nise-e would refuse to leave his side until he was better. Until she knew he was out of the woods and okay.
