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 Posted: Mon Feb 29, 2016 7:27 pm
 Holed up in her room, refusing to take part in anymore of the festivities, the starry colored Goblin replayed the events of that horrible day. She couldn't believe just how much of an idiot she was, and how foolish she had been. Of course he was an awesome person, and that he would have a love interest. Citali knew that it was for the best that she just stay away and didn't interfere. While they were only friends, she didn't want to cause any problems in the Fallen's relationship, and that for the sake of his happiness that maybe...just maybe...they shouldn't be friends anymore. Then to top it all off, she had gone and lost the book she had gotten for him. Nothing just seems to be going right!
Her new pet curled up around her, trying to get her to cheer up, but all she could do was hug her pillow and cry. She thought things would be getting better now that she had a friend, but it turns out, that she doesn't have one at all now. Why was it so hard for her to want to go back to being completely alone? She didn't understand. It had come so easily to her before she became friends with Rae, so why couldn't she do it now and be fine with it?
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Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2016 7:18 pm
He had felt so bad...one one hand he had scared his new friend off by trying to introduce her to Burvia and on the other hand he felt like he had to make things right and so he told Burvia that he had to leave the festivities. Granted he wasn't too upset about actually leaving the crowded room, even though he was with his friends his anxiety was still flaring up really bad there. He honestly didn't know what to feel worse about.
The fallen stood in front of Citali's dorm room, the book that she had dropped in one hand and the plushie he had gotten for her in the other. Friendship was really weird. First you had a person that you had never met that you felt a connection with and then all of a sudden you were concerned about them all the time. Things were so much easier when he had just kept to himself, still, he would never change the fact that he really had made a new friend.
Taking a deep breath he knocked on the door. "Citali...if you're in there, it's Esrael. I just...w-wanted to check on you..." He looked down at the book and smiled. Yeah, he was really happy that he had actually made a new friends.
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Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2016 9:15 pm
The Goblin cried into her pillow, the events still continuing to replay in her head. Why was this so hard? Why did this hurt so much? Citali just couldn't help it, those thoughts just wouldn't go away. The fact that she lost a new friend just hurt so much. The snake like creature nuzzled against her, trying to get her to feel a little better, but while she appreciated the gesture, it didn't help. She was glad that she didn't have a roommate at this point because she was at least grateful she didn't have to explain what was going on.
Her sobs stopped suddenly as she heard knocking on the door, and then she heard Rae talking. What was he doing here?! Especially with her crying and everything! Quickly she shoved the tear soaked pillow behind her, and tried to quickly wipe the tears from her face. "I...I'm here." She called out as she tried to keep her voice steady, without to much success. "M...my d..door is unlocked." Why in the world was she letting him in?! Citali really hoped that he wouldn't be able to tell that she had been crying. She didn't know if she could handle even more embarrassment for the day.
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Posted: Sun Mar 06, 2016 3:58 pm
Something was not okay. When he heard her speak, she had sounded distressed. Sad. Upset. His wings drooped and the feathers on his ears fell as he slowly opened the door. Why was he always hurting the people he cared for? This was exactly what he never wanted to happen. "H-Hey Ci...I wanted to come by to thank you for the book you got me. I haven't read this one yet. Thank you so much and thank you for being so thoughtful. Here, I-I got you t-this!" He slowly made his way over to her, extending the stuffed animal he had gotten for her.
As he got closer he noticed a few subtle details. The pillow she was holding had wet stains on it. Her shoulders seemed to be shaking lightly. Had he...? Had he made her cry? He immidiately sat down next to her, looking at her, sadness filling his eyes. "Citali...are you okay? I'm sorry for whatever I did, I am so so so sorry. Please don't be upset!" He felt so horrible for the situation he had put his friend in.
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Posted: Mon Mar 07, 2016 9:20 pm
Citali kept her gaze downward as the Fallen came into her room. It was hard to even look at him and she hope that by not looking at him he wouldn't be able to notice she had been crying. Yet, when he mentioned the book, she was surprised. She knew that she had lost it...didn't she? Did Rae get the book she had gotten him? It wasn't lost at all? Well at least she didn't screw up entirely there. There was still the part though where her friend was in a relationship and he shouldn't even be here at all. The Goblin made no move for the gift he had gotten her, simply because she felt she didn't deserve it. Why would she? "I'm...I'm...I'm f..f..fine." she whispered, knowing that if she spoke any louder her voice would crack and would give her away. Her new pet that she hadn't even had a chance to name yet, curled up on Rae's lap, excited for someone new to play with. Citali hoped that the pet would be enough of a distraction for Rae and maybe Rae would forget she was upset. She had to do a better job of hiding it. If she couldn't hide it, then Rae would be worried about her and she couldn't interfere in his relationship like that. He needed to be devoted to his significat other. Not worried about her. Why did pushing him away as a friend, hurt so much? A tear snuck out and down from her eye, and she quickly wiped it away. No, she wouldn't cry. Not with Rae here. She couldn't.
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Posted: Sun Mar 13, 2016 4:38 pm
Esrael gripped the plushie in his hands, trying his hardest to stay calm. This was never what he intended. All he wanted to do was wrap his wings around himself and disappear. What could he do? He didn't want to do anything that made the situation worse. Arrrgh! Were friends really that hard? Aside from Joseth and Burvia the Fallen had never made an effort to make friends...Citali was the first person he actually wanted to be friends with.
The shakyness in her voice hit him like a pound of bricks. He felt bad about ignoring the familiar that was trying to make friends with him, but his main focus was the goblin. As much as she said she was, Esrael knew she was certainly not okay. "Ci...please talk to me..." He gently reached up and wiped the tear off her cheek. "Did I upset you? Can I do something for you?...Please just talk to me...I want to be there for you. You're my friend, Citali, and I want to be there for you. You just have to talk to me." He slowly nudged the plushie he had gotten for her closer. Wiggling it back and forth to make it look like it was walking before plopping it down in her lap.
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Posted: Sun Mar 13, 2016 5:53 pm
Darn it all, the Fallen was just simply to good for her to fool. Citali turned her head away from him as he brushed the tear from her face, but moments later, smiled just a small smile as he walked the plushie onto her lap. She hugged it close to her and sighed, unsure of how to even tell him anything. This stuff was just...so personal. Her familiar though, in the meantime was doing everything it could to get Rae's attention, even to the point of curling around his arm and staying there. At least Rae still considered her a friend though, but how could they be friends if he was romantically involved with someone? Why was this so gosh darn complicated?! "Y...you d..d..didn't upset m..m..me." She whispered, as she tried to keep herself from crying even more. "B..b...but you...and uh..B..Burthia seem like y..y..you're in a um...well...a um...ro..ro..romantic r..relationship." Her face was burning in embarrassment as she spoke, still refusing to look at her friend, and in turn buried her face into the plushie as she continued to speak. "I...I...I don't want t..t..to um..well...um be a um...bother and in...in..in the way. I um...I thought we sh..sh..shouldn't be um...friends any..any..anymore s..so th..that way I um w..wasn't c..causing any um p..p..problems." Now came the moment of truth and she felt sure the Fallen would see it the same way she did, and he would leave.
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Posted: Mon Mar 14, 2016 9:08 am
The goblin's familiar was persistant, he'd give it that much. Rae smiled sweetly as he reached over and pet it. Maybe that would satisfy it for the time being while he tried to fix what had happened. He intently listened to her as she spoke. So...this was about Burvia...? It was because they were together? As much as he wanted to interject he continued to listen, he knew all too well that sometimes it was hard to talk about your feelings.
He sat there quietly as she finished, feeling slightly hurt. "Ci...just because I'm dating her doesn't mean we can't be friends. Burvia isn't going to make a big deal out of me having friends," He giggled slightly, "Actually, she's probably thrilled that I actually have a friend. In no way are you a bother or in the way. I don't want to stop being friends, Citali." Carefully, because the familiar was still wound around his arm, he leaned over and pulled her into a hug.
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Posted: Wed Mar 16, 2016 6:19 am
The Goblin listened quietly to the Fallen speaking, and as he pulled her into a hug when he had finished speaking, her mind was going wild with thoughts. He wants me to be his friend still? But wouldn't that cause problems? How can he be so sure they it won't cause any problems? What if it does? What will I do then? Should I still keep him as my friend? Her body tensed up as she struggled with the thoughts that were bombarding her, making it hard to breathe the more they flooded her mind. I mean, I should still be his friend, he wants me to be. But, what happens if something does go wrong? What do I do?!Her familiar could sense that Citali was becoming panicked and quickly unwound itself from Rae's arm and started to nuzzle against her. Distracted by the nuzzles, the stream of thoughts was disrupted. "I've...just..." She paused as she tried to figure out how best to explain. "B..b..before I moved here, I...I w..watched my only friend be f..f..forced to ch..ch..choose." It hurt immensely to have to relive this particular memory from her past, and one of the main reasons she had asked her family to allow her to come to this school, so she could get away from it. "S..she had um, gotten involved with a g..g..girlfriend. H..her girlfriend t..told her th..that um...she had to uh well...um choose between her and get rid of my friendship or keep me and lose her." The words started to spill faster from her mouth, although still at just a whisper. "I could see the hurt in my friend's eyes, and I knew how happy she was with her girlfriend. I knew that she wouldn't be able to pick our friendship." Tears were starting to pool in the corners of her eyes once more, as she spoke of her past friend. "I uh...I hear though that they um, are still, um...happy together. I just...I don't w..want t..to put you through th..that."
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Posted: Thu Mar 17, 2016 4:15 pm
The fallen sat there and listened to her intently, sadness falling over his delicate features. No wonder she was so worried! If he had gone through something like that, he'd be worried too. He honestly didn't know what to say. He knew that Burvia would never do something like that, it would be like him asking her to choose between her fashion designing and him. Even though he knew that, how could he convince Citali of that? He really didn't want to stop being friends with her and he knew that she didn't want to stop being friends with him. No wonder he didn't have many friends, it was a lot of hard work.
Rae gave her an understanding nod when she finished her story. "Citali, I'm so sorry that you had to go through something like that. I know that wasn't easy for you, I don't think it would be easy for anyone! One thing's for sure though, the fact that you let that happen...that you selflessly cut yourself out of that picture...that tells me that you are a wonderful, sweet, and very caring person. Anyone would be lucky to have you as a friend. I know I am, at least." He gently rubbed her back, trying to calm her down. "Look, I can't make you believe me, but just trust me on this one. I'm not going anywhere. If Burvia made me choose, I'd choose you because someone who loves me wouldn't give me that kind of ultimatum. Please, you just have to trust me on this one. We're friends and there's nothing that's going to change that, okay?"
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Posted: Sat Mar 19, 2016 6:49 pm
How could she be so stupid in opening up to Rae? For crying in front of him? What in the world would he think of her? He'd think that she was weak. But the pain of reliving that horrible time of her life, was just to much to keep the tears back. That pain was why she had tried so hard to keep to herself, and not make any friends at all at this school so she wouldn't have to go through it again. She'd have nowhere to go if it did, and here she was...possibly going through it again. Wasn't she? Rae had started to speak to her again, and it broke into her thoughts. He thought that she was a wonderful person? How? She was here, crying, and looking pathetic. Yet, he was rubbing her back now, which was helping with slowing the tears down. They were going to be friends still? Even with him being in a relationship? Reaching her hand up to her eyes, Citali wiped the tears from them as she tried to calm down more. "You still want to be friends with me?" she said quietly as she tried to process everything that he had told her. "And she won't be mad at you?" If Rae was certain things would be fine, she would just have to try and trust him. She was still scared of being hurt again though...or putting Rae in that sort of situation where he'd be force to choose.
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Posted: Sun Mar 20, 2016 4:22 pm
He watched her wipe the tears from her eyes. He really felt bad for her, no one should be forced to go through something like that. He couldn't even imagine how terrible that must of been, how scarred he would be if something like that had happened to him. While friends weren't really his cup of tea, he was actually really happy that he had Citali now. Maybe having friends wasn't so bad after all?
He smiled gently at her, the wings on his ears flapping slowly, "Of course I still want to be friends with you. If I didn't...would I still be here, Ci? I promise you this, I'm not going anywhere, okay?" He continued to rub her back, happy that it seemed to be calming her down. "I swear to you she won't be mad at me. Honestly, I think she'd probably want to invite you out to dinner so she could actually meet you."
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Posted: Sun Mar 20, 2016 5:44 pm
C-C-CaFFIENE We can end it with this post if you want! <3 Citali could feel her face starting to burn slightly as she thought about what dinner with his girlfriend would be like. Even more awkward social interactions to come? Oh no. Yet, she knew that she couldn't let it bother her to much, she had to try to get over the past, and try to keep her friendship going with Rae, despite him being in a relationship. She had to believe that he meant what he said and that he wasn't just saying it to be nice. Having friends was hard, but, as much as she hated to admit it, it was nice to have a friend again. Someone that she could rely on and laugh with. "Thank you Rae." She whispered as she pet her familiar and smiled. Perhaps she could have Rae help her with something. Something that would be super duper important. "I uh...I haven't uh, named my uh familiar yet. W..would you like to um...um help m..me come up w..w...with a name?" Citali smiled at Rae as she managed to spit out her question. What better way to further their friendship, then by having him help her come up with a name for her first ever familiar. She would always treasure his friendship. Never again would she doubt him...or at least...she would try harder to not doubt their friendship.
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