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Posted: Wed Jan 27, 2016 7:10 am
He hadn't seen Rep doe so long and he felt both excited, anxious, and miserably guilty over seeing him. A lot had been said and done on his part and he had no idea how to go about fixing what might just be irreversible damage. Rep had always been a storm of emotions but he also had a strong idea of loyalty - one that Melvin turned his back too. He couldn't even ask the whole story about how Rep lost his memories because he felt that since he hadn't been there for him, his concern might come off as cheap.
But Rep was the only person he trusted with this. He was the only one who would even care about any of this and not just see it all as simply free crap.
He got two moving trolleys signed out and repackaged all if Rin's things save for a select few items he put in a chest and left in the closet.
It was still a lot. It had been her entire life in these boxes. The colors and smells she liked, the fabrics she preferred, and the objects that covered and catered to her body.
He waited till Rep showed up to bring him in, noting that Rep hadn't been to his new apartment. It was probably one of the few days he wasn't going to spent most of it in bed.
Standing before the pile of nearly labeled boxes, he looked over at the red-head. "Thanks for doing this. I didn't know what else to do." Aside from making a massive bonfire.
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Posted: Wed Jan 27, 2016 7:15 am
Rep functioned on a very short term basis and as it had been so long since he'd last run into Melvin, he had all but forgotten what exactly he was angry at him about. Rep's temper like a searing hot lump of steel cooled over time, and it had cooled quite a long time ago as far as Melvin was concerned.
Not that it meant it wasn't incredibly easy to set him off again but, for the moment, he seemed in a rather decent sort of mood.
Collecting Rin's possessions was something he was glad he'd been entrusted with, knowing he would have been furious if it had been left in the hands of anyone else.
"Aye, well good." Rep said, eyeing the boxes. The room itself didn't smell like Melvin either, not just his usual spotlessly clean smells but some other mingled ones. He set the thought aside. "I'll keep them with the other stuff I have from her, it'll all be safe and stored. Is this all of it?"
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Posted: Wed Jan 27, 2016 9:35 am
"Yeah...this is all of it I think. Uh... You are free to do whatever with it. I don't mind what you decide." it didn't need to be safely stored or even remain with Rep if he didn't want it, it's just it was a relief to pass the decision to someone else and leave himself ignorant of what happened after it went into Rep's procession.
"I labeled everything when I was packing too." In probably unnecessary detail along the side like a shopping list.
Moving over, he set about taking the heaviest boxes onto the trolley. "So.....how are you... doing these days? You lost your memory and everything before. That must have been weird." He felt so ridiculously out of the loop with Rep's life that he needed to establish a foothold that wasn't so backdated.
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Posted: Wed Jan 27, 2016 1:22 pm
Rep liked free s**t as a general rule, in fact the only thing that he liked more was sentimental things. Being offered both was a dream come true. He gathered up a box of his own, determined to have a look through them later when he was on his own to think about what he was doing rather than opening them around Melvin and potentially upsetting both of them.
"Me?" he said.
"I'm... eh I'm all right. And aye, I did." he looked momentarily serious. "Apparently I wanted to stop being me so much that I was willing to give up everything to have it. It was weird, weird because I was ******** happier without it all. The only thing I was lacking was Ace, but even then he still loved me." he shrugged.
"Either way, in the end I chose to be me. So now I'm back to that, just with memories of how much better my life might have been if I'd never had my childhood or ever come to Deus. Basically the same old bullshit. I'm still Rep, I'm still me and I get on with it. What about you?"
And he looked around the room curiously. "Living with someone?" he asked.
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Posted: Wed Jan 27, 2016 1:42 pm
"How did that happen again?" He wondered out loud to the other.
"You did seem happy but.... I was kind of pissed on your behalf. Everyone was so accepting of someone who wasn't the person they knew and it made me feel like they felt the old you hadn't been good enough and they shouldn't try and make the new into someone they liked. It felt cheap but then - if they made you happy with lots of friends .... I guess it just seemed like I had no place after what I did anyways. For what it's worth, I'm glad the old you is back." He didn't think he would know what to do with someone who was Rep without his memories or personality when he had been friends and had memories of the old him. Maybe it was because he didn't want Rep to forget about him either.
"Oh..." He glanced around and noticed that it was pretty clear he was. He never really made any sort of announcement who he was now with and wondered if Rel wouldn't like him for being with someone so soon after Rin's passing.
"Yeah... I'm with Jan now. He's been helping since Rin's ..gone." He moved another box on top of the other in the trolley. "And Rodney is crashing on the couch here since his basement room is a mess. Probably until he can get an upgrade I think."
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Posted: Wed Jan 27, 2016 2:14 pm
"Circe." he said bluntly.
"And I don't know man. I feel kind of the same way about it. There seems to be like, a lot of people on this island who value like...no who someone actually IS but who they think they should be. I mean, its ******** chilling like. That version of me like, it wasn't me. It was someone elses ******** past wearing my skin, living in the shape of my brain. It wasn't me. And yet people are always like, every time they are like good. This is an improvement. " he found a soothing routine in picking up the boxes.
"It's a horrible feeling man, cause to me like its the same as you, I feel like I'm me, me with all my flaws and history and bullshit and like. It really hurts when I think that people are my mates, that they'll back me up when I'm in trouble and yet when I like, lose it, when I lose myself or whatever and am in like, the most trouble. They don't care, they welcome like some other me with open arms like well its better than him. It's always better than him." He sighed. "It gets me down, it really really does, don't get me wrong, I just try and put a smiling face on it because if I show people what hurts me then I don't know, they'll do it all the more." It made him feel nauseous to think about it, because in spite of himself and the nastiness he turned outwards at his peers he wanted their approval and wanted in some twisted up and helpless way to be able to depend on them. And yet he couldn't because they were all so very very ******** tired and weary, he could feel it, they just wanted him to stop and be no more hassle.
He couldn't fall into line though and he never could. "I cannae fixate on it." he said, and he couldn't, because it would only drag him even further into paranoia and mistrust of the people he wanted to try and trust. Instead he tried to focus on Melvin's life instead.
"Jan?" he asked distantly. The name was familiar.
And sunk in. "********, I forgot. You are living with that old ******** pale creep? What the ******** man, you had taste before. And Rodney?! The ******** bible thumper? What? Why?"
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Posted: Wed Jan 27, 2016 3:04 pm
Melvin looked wide-eyed at Rep for his short description of his current partner and roommate, bringing up images of both in his head along with Rep's words in bold. For whatever reason, he thought it was just so – Rep to say that. He missed how brutally honest and open he was with things .
For that, he couldn't help but smile and even give a faint chuckle. "What? You think Jan is creepy? Sure, he doesn't see much sun but that's because his skin is sensitive, but creepy?" He never saw Jan such as that. There had been times when he felt unsettled, but that was usually when someone came to him to tell him something about Jan's past, but as long as he had been with him, for months now, Jan had not shown anything of what other people had said. He hardly saw him as creepy.
"I have weird tastes then I guess. Remember Rin choose me at first. So that was her tastes…but..yeah mine too. Jan's something different though. There are…other things that I find attractive in people. Rin certainly had hears and Jan has his." He said, moving to pick up another box.
"I haven't really talked to Rodney much so don't know about any bible thumping. He certainly hasn't been singling hymns here. He's been quiet and tidy, and very…tolerate of how I've been." Which was a mess.
Setting the box down, he pushed it to aligned with the others before stopping. "Rep…..I'm sorry. For what happened. I…wasn't there for you and I was a really shitty person. I was just…really upset with everyone." Upset with Rep because he thought he was the one person on his side who would have understood. To think that Rep missed out on the last months of Rin still being alive. He could have said a proper goodbye. Melvin decided not to tell him though in fear that Rep would even hate him again or would feel upset that he missed on the opportunity.
"Of all the people here, you were the only one that really cared when she was around…even before I was around, and I was an a*****e to you. I even feel bad making you come here after all this time when I wasn't around before."
He had felt abandoned and betrayed by Rep when he refused to listen to him, but now that Rin was gone and Rep almost lost himself and really would have left, he had pretty much done the same to him in return.
Picking at a piece of packing tape, he glanced back to the boxes and decided to just go back to what they were talking about. "So...what happened with Circe?"
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Posted: Wed Jan 27, 2016 3:53 pm
"No s**t the guy's a ******** creep." Rep said, giving Melvin a look as if he was completely crazy. "He tried to kill his old ******** boyfriend and cut off his finger, seems to be creeping on America like crazy and is - I don't know if I mentioned - ******** old and ******** weird."
He shuddered at the thought of Melvin being infested by such a strange ******** tapeworm of a man, but there wasn't much he could do either.
"And well I guess if Rodney and Janrence are your ideal roommates then whatever. Who am I to say otherwise?"
As far at the old argument they'd had went, Rep shrugged his shoulders. "It doesn't matter." And it didn't. Melvin had gone off on his own tangent and as usual Rep had found a way to lock up his grief and hurt and twist it into anger, using it to fuel him. "Grief does weird things to people." Other people, not him. He didn't grieve, he didn't need to. He watched people die, his mother, Killzone, Clarice, Rin and he was fine.
He was fine, he was absolutely ******** fine.
"It doesn't matter, I understand." and he waved it off hurriedly, pushing away from the memories of hurt and pain as if opening that door might overwhelm him with all the other horrors he had locked away alongside it.
"I don't really want to talk about it." he said. "Short of that I picked her up and let her into my head. I had to be rescued. It was shitty, but it's over now."
Lawrence, meanwhile was in the bedroom, and was listening indifferently to the conversation out in the living area, looking up only when he was described as "******** old" before looking back to his book again.
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Posted: Wed Jan 27, 2016 4:17 pm
"Rodney is here to get ouf his apartment. It's not ideal. I'm sure not for him either to be stuck on a couch. It just is. He's certainly not the worst roommate around." He corrected.
"His thing with Horace was….its own mess. They had their own weird relationship that's not like ours. He isn't with America." Though in the end, if he wanted to be, he wasn't sure what he would do. They never stated they were full exclusive and he never bothered to push it. Mainly because he simply felt he had no place to demand that much when he already took so much from Jan already.
He already knew America was a big subject that got between him and Horace. HE didn't want to repeat it and left it alone while listening and watching all the same.
"I don't know if age matters. We have so many people here hooking up with people I am not sure are even legal enough to give consent." He really didn't want to think about that either. "Overage. Underage. I just like how he is."
He could wax his own terrible poetic about Jan but didn't want to make the situation even more awkward.
"Ok, I won't talk about it then. I'm glad someone was there to rescue you and you're back." He followed up on the rest of the conversation and decided to just leave it there – which didn't leave much else to say. "Are you up to anything recently?"
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Posted: Sat Jan 30, 2016 6:51 pm
Rep still gave Melvin a puzzled sort of look. "So why do you have a squatter? Is there a reason for it? Or it just some like help adopt a hobo initiative that I didnae get the memo about? Because if it is, I don't want one, I want my ******** room to be my own ******** room. Nae random missionaries crashing on my ******** couch." he shook his head. "Your life is all kinds of ******** up."
"As far as ******** Horace, you are like they had their "own" weird relationship like its something totally separate and nothing to do with you, but its the same guy. What makes you think that he won't just ******** do the same things to you? He's ******** crazy, especially if America is anything to like, be going on with. She's always like he was fine right up until where he wasn't and that he like killed people just to ******** her over. How do you know he hasn't killed people to hurt you?" he shook his head deciding it was a lost battle already given Melvin's tone and went on.
"Whatever. Anyway I've like. No done much, nae missions, just ******** snow. Which I like. Went cliff diving the other day. So manly like, nude diving in the snowy cold."
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