Word Count: 3064

Lovely woke up the next morning and realized he'd forgotten his toothbrush.

He stepped out of the shower and toweled off, then pulled on his clothes and stood in front of the sink, staring at Ilian's toothbrush where it sat innocently in its holder.

He hesitated. Sharing a toothbrush was just gross, he thought. But, another part of his brain chimed in, they weren't really sharing it; it would only be this one time. One time, and then he'd never have to do it again.

He considered going without brushing, but his teeth felt disgusting after not brushing the night before and he was sure his breath smelled. Plus, he was already making sacrifices when it came to his hair. Ilian owned a hairbrush, but no blow dryer, which meant Lovely had to deal with hair that had been air dried.

It would not be a pretty sight.

He grabbed Ilian's toothbrush and stared at it some more. Lovely was suddenly very concerned about his sexuality. Everyone already thought he was Ilian's boyfriend. Using Ilian's toothbrush would be even worse, wouldn't it? It was practically an indirect kiss. Worse than that, actually. There was no way Ilian's tongue hadn't touched this thing, which meant it was an indirect kiss with tongue.

Lovely took the tube of toothpaste in hand. He wet the brush under the tap, then squeezed a liberal amount of toothpaste out onto the bristles. Maybe if he used a s**t ton of toothpaste it would kill more germs and make the act a little less gross.

This didn't mean he was gay, he told himself. He was just desperate for cleanliness and didn't want to wait until he was able to buy a new one, even if he planned on going right out once he was done. Finally, with many reservations, Lovely shoved Ilian's toothbrush into his mouth and began to vigorously scrub at his teeth. He figured the sooner he was done, the better off he'd be.

He would just never tell Ilian.

Or anyone, for that matter.

He spat the foam out when there was too much in his mouth, went back to brushing, then spat some out again. He cleaned the brush off quickly and set it back into its holder, but had nothing to rinse his mouth out with. He had to go to the kitchen to get a cup, and came back to rinse with water from the tab.

He swore he was going to catch some sort of disease and die.

But he'd gotten it over with. Now he could go about his business and pretend the event had never happened.

When he was done, Lovely did what he could for his hair. He brushed it, made sure it was parted just right, and hoped it wouldn't frizz out as it dried. At least it was cold instead of hot and humid. He'd take the small mercies wherever he could get them.

He left the bathroom, put on his coat, made sure he had his phone, his keys, and his wallet, and exited the apartment.

As he was locking the door he noticed Ilian's neighbor out smoking again. Lovely turned his eyes to the sky and asked for patience, but the guy only had time to say “What's up?” before Lovely was on his way.

He took the bus to another part of town where he withdrew some cash out of an ATM. Dorian would know where he'd gotten the cash, but the location wouldn't clue him in to where he was staying. Lovely was on his way down the block when it suddenly occurred to him that Dorian could freeze his accounts and cut him off from all of his money (not that any of it was really his to begin with). He didn't think Dorian would be so cruel and vindictive, but to be on the safe side Lovely returned to the ATM and withdrew another thousand dollars.

He felt accomplished by this. But also unsafe. He didn't like the idea of carrying around so much cash in Ilian's neighborhood.

He hopped on the bus again and made his way to the nearest grocery store. There, he bought two new toothbrushes (he would just casually replace Ilian's so the indirect kissing could go ahead and stop right there), some conditioner for his hair because Ilian was a heathen and didn't have any, and finally some food, because he was hungry and Ilian's kitchen was practically empty. Unfortunately, Lovely didn't know how to cook, so he settled for a few boxes of cereal, some frozen pizzas, and, as unappealing as they were, some microwavable dinners (giving thanks all the while that Ilian actually owned a microwave). He picked up a package of bottled water on his way to the check out line. He outright refused to drink tap water.

Lovely paid with cash and stuffed the change into his pocket, annoyed by the sound of the coins rattling around. It took some effort, but he managed to carrying all of his groceries to the bus stop, onto the bus, and all the way to Ilian's apartment complex.

He almost dropped the water as the snow and ice in the parking lot caused him to slip and slide around. Luckily, a surprisingly well put together young woman (she looked to be in her early twenties; perhaps she was in college) was on her way to her car, noticed him, and approached to offer some help.

“I'm Ashley,” she said as she hoisted the package of water bottles into her arms.

“Lovely,” he replied.

He could tell she was looking at him strangely. “What?”

“My name. It's Lovely. Or Leigh, if you want.”

“Lovely...” she seemed to try it out for herself. She laughed a little bit, but it didn't sound insulting, and she soon moved the conversation along. “Did you just move in?”

“Sort of,” he said. “I live with Ilian.”

“Oh...”

He waited for the inevitable response.

“You're not related,” she said. He could tell she was trying not to ask the obvious question for the sake of being polite.

“That much is obvious.”

She was silent until they got to the door. He knew what she had to be thinking. Ilian's apartment had only one bedroom. Lovely assumed most of the other units were the same, given that they didn't look much bigger.

“Are you... his boyfriend?” she finally asked.

Lovely fumbled with the key a bit. He hated this ruse, but he answered anyway.

“Yes,” he said. He paused, stared at the door for a moment, then looked at Ashley in confusion. “Why is it that everyone assumes Ilian is gay?”

Ashley blinked, looking just as confused. “Isn't he?”

“Is he?”

“You're the one dating him,” she said. “You tell me.”

Lovely's face flushed red. He went back to twisting the key around in the lock and finally managed to get the door open. He dropped the bags just inside and turned back to Ashley to take the water from her.

“Thanks,” he said.

“Any time,” she said. She grew quiet again, and peered around Ilian's living-room from the doorway. Eventually she asked, “Is it true Ilian's missing?”

Lovely nodded.

Ashley looked at him in sympathy. “Let me know if you need anything. I live down in 4B.”

He thanked her again and watched her go on her way. Then he closed the door and carried the groceries into the kitchen.

By the time he was done putting everything away, it was after noon. Lovely shoved one of the frozen dinners into the microwave and waited for it to heat up. He managed to eat it without gagging and counted that as an accomplishment.

After throwing the empty container away, he looked at his phone for the first time that day. He had five missed calls and three voicemails. Two calls were from his mother, two calls were from Dorian, and one was from his oldest brother Claude.

Lovely swallowed and listened to the first voicemail.

“Lovely,” his mother's voice began. She sounded uncharacteristically stern. “Dorian said you left the house last night and didn't come back. The only reason I let you move to Destiny City was because you promised me you wouldn't get into trouble. Now you're breaking into people's houses and dating street thugs?”

He made a face at the presumption. Ilian was not some random street thug.

A moment later he wondered why he was even getting defensive about it.

It wasn't like they were really dating.

“You didn't even tell me you were gay,” his mother's voice continued. She paused and seemed to think better of her statement. “No, that's not right, you should tell me on your own terms. I just love you so much, Lovey Dove. I never should have let you leave France. I don't know what I was thinking. Destiny City is no place for you. Why Dorian stays there is beyond me. But that's a conversation for another time. Call your brother. He's worried about you. If you don't want to call Dorian, please call me. I hate to think of you out in the cold on your own. You could get mugged again.”

Her voice wobbled. He heard her take a breath like she was fighting back tears.

“I love you, Lovey Dove,” she said. “Please be careful.”

He felt guilty when he heard her hang up. He didn't make it a habit of disappointing or worrying his mother. It sort of hurt a little bit to think of how distraught she must be. He hoped she didn't fly out to Destiny City. He wasn't sure he'd be able to face her.

Lovely pressed the screen of his phone to hear the next voicemail.

“Leigh,” Dorian began. He took a breath and sighed. “I know you're probably at Ilian's. I'm not an idiot. I can figure these things out. The only reason I'm not over there right now is because I thought it would be better to give you your space. This isn't like you, Leigh. You're a brat but you've always been a good kid. I hope you can understand why I'm so worried. You never got into any trouble until you started hanging around Ilian. The bruising, the behavior, the injuries, none of that was an issue. You can't tell me that doesn't look bad. What am I supposed to think when you refuse to talk to me?”

Dorian sighed again. Lovely was at least reassured by the fact that he didn't sound angry anymore.

“Just come home,” his brother said, “so we can sit down and talk about this.”

Lovely felt a little less guilty when Dorian hung up, but it wasn't by much.

He couldn't feel sure of himself when Dorian was completely right. All of these things only happened because he was friends with Ilian. Without Ilian there would be no Negaverse, and therefore no fights to result in injuries and bruises. But it wasn't like he could tell Dorian that. And if he did, it wasn't going to make Dorian think any differently.

Before he pressed the screen to listen to the next voicemail, Lovely paused to wonder when it had even become important to him to stay friends with Ilian. Maybe things would be better for everyone if they just parted ways.

Unfortunately, he didn't think there was any safe way of getting out of the Negaverse. In that case, it was probably better that they stick together, if only to watch one another's backs.

The last voicemail was short and succinct.

“Call me,” Claude said.

Lovely winced. It was hard to tell from just two words, but he was pretty sure Claude was angry.

He pulled his phone away from his ear and stared at the screen. He almost returned his mother's call, if only because she would be the easiest one to talk to, but he hesitated and inevitably chose not to. He really didn't feel like answering anyone's questions when he had no way to explain himself.

He put his phone back into his pocket and stood around trying to think of something to do. He didn't feel like watching TV, and there was no computer in the apartment for him to play around on. Ilian didn't even own a deck of playing cards for a game of solitaire. It was really depressing. Lovely decided these circumstances had to change.

He went back out into the cold and hopped onto another bus. He had to change routes once, but managed to make his way to a place he previously swore he'd never visit.

The mall.

Lovely wandered around with his hands in his pockets, frighteningly aware that he was carrying around a sizable amount of money. He did his best to blend in with the crowds. For once he was happy he didn't look his best. He didn't draw too much attention to himself. He bumped shoulders with a few people but no one really looked at him. Mostly he kept his head down and tried to stay out of the way.

First, he went to one of the only department stores he thought he could tolerate setting foot in.

Macy's.

He shopped around for clothes. What he'd packed was randomly thrown together, and he didn't think he'd brought enough underwear to last him more than a week. Considering he had no idea how to do laundry, he needed some way to replenish dwindling supplies. He picked up another pair of jeans to be on the safe side, a few shirts, and a couple of cardigans.

He stopped before taking his purchases to the register. Suddenly he thought of all of Ilian's shabby clothes and wished his friend would dress better. It was embarrassing being seen around town with someone who wore old, second hand clothing.

Lovely knew he could very well be choosing clothes for someone who would never wear them. He couldn't avoid the fact that there was a chance Ilian really was dead.

He didn't like to think about it and he wasn't quite sure why, except that death was depressing and he didn't enjoy the thought of being in the Negaverse without him.

Unfortunately he didn't know any of Ilian's sizes. Tops were fairly simple. There wasn't much difference between them there. Pants, on the other hand, caused something of a dilemma. Eventually Lovely decided on the same waist size as his own, but with a little extra length.

He paid for his purchases and went on to an electronics store, where he bought a blu ray player and some movies to help pass the time. He'd forgotten his phone charger at home, so he replaced that since Ilian was too poor for an iPhone and therefore didn't have a proper charger. He bought a sketchbook and pencils, some books to read, and a 1000 piece puzzle at a bookstore.

By the time he was on his way home—scratch that. By the time he was on his way back to Ilian's apartment, his arms were weighed down by a number of heavy bags. He managed to get to the door without any help this time, and was inside with the door closed before Ilian's neighbor could say more than “What's up?” again.

He put everything away. He rearranged Ilian's dresser drawers to empty up two of them for his own clothes. He felt weird doing it. Did it make the whole boyfriend story even worse? Whatever, he thought. He didn't know how long he was going to be there, and he didn't feel like living out of his duffle bag.

Lovely hooked up the blu ray player. He put in a movie, and sat on the floor with his newly acquired 1000 piece puzzle, spreading some of the pieces out onto the coffee table.

He took out his phone again. There were two more missed calls and just as many voicemails.

Both were from Claude.

“Call me,” he said in the first one.

“Don't test me,” he said in the second one. “I will cut off all access to your money if you are not back at Dorian's house by tomorrow evening. This teenaged love affair of yours will end, or you can kiss your inheritance goodbye.”

Lovely felt frustrated tears spring into his eyes and threw his phone onto the couch.

He had no idea what to do. Part of him wanted to tuck his tail between his legs and go back to Dorian's house. That was the spoiled part of him that didn't relish the idea of living without access to money he didn't have to earn on his own. This whole charade had gone on long enough. There wasn't any love affair, and he hated that his family thought there was. It was all Ilian's fault. If he hadn't been so stupid (and Lovely was convinced the reason he was missing was because he'd done something insanely stupid), Lovely wouldn't be in this position now.

Another part of him felt defiant. That was the disobedient part of him that hated being controlled. That part stuck his middle fingers up at both of his brothers. That part dared Claude to follow through with his threats. Lovely almost didn't want to believe he would. He didn't see what that would accomplish except to make him miserable.

Who was he fooling? He was already miserable. He was alone in a strange place, with no friends and no family to either keep him company or protect him from the harsh realities of the world. He could admit there was something very liberating about being out on his own, but it was also the most terrifying thing he'd ever done. He knew he didn't belong here. This wasn't his world.

Lovely felt lost. He felt afraid. He wanted Ilian to come back because he thought, if he did, everything would go back to normal and he could go home and they could just put this shitty experience behind them.

But he was afraid that Ilian never would, and it terrified him to think about how he felt about that.

He didn't know what he was supposed to do.

Lovely realized he didn't really know anything at all.