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 Posted: Tue Jan 19, 2016 8:16 pm
Characters Name: Castien Race: Fallen Zodiac Sign: The Mirror Academy House or University: Grendel Gender: Male Starting Stage: Senior Body Type Base: Male Brief Description of Appearance: Poofy purple hair, lavender skin and feathers. Gray eyes. Top idea Cost: 500k
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Posted: Wed Jan 20, 2016 5:46 pm
A brief overview of their life so far: Castien was born into a traditionalist Fallen household; children should defer to adults, who always know better, learn about the past, your family and of their society. Castien chafed against this from a young age, and it only got worse when he started at the Academy and met others who fit his personality better. As a result. he was more than glad when he could live closer to the academy and then his chosen university. His parents weren't happy with him when he chose Grendel instead of Asterion, though he only told them of his choice in the first place as a further show of defiance against values he had rejected. Though they're patching things up now and working out compromises between his views and theirs, relations are still a long way from being mended.
Whether or not they're an orphan from the cache: No
How their status as an orphan or non-orphan has effected them: He may lament that he thinks he was adopted, or wishes he was, but other than personality differences he really didn't have it all that bad when with his family. His family loved him, they simply could not see eye to eye.
One event that changed their life or effected them: Castien got news while he was in class that his mother had been in an accident, which got him back in contact with his family. His mother survived the accident, but this is is when they started patching things up and working out their differences.
How they feel about their race and house: Castien doesn't give a toss about the past of his race, and only the vaguest interest in his family's and chafes at his culture's obsession with looking behind when he'd rather focus on where he's going.
Their goals in life: He wishes to become a renowned actor, or possibly a well-liked author. He hasn't quite decided yet. Maybe he'll strive for both! Writing and acting are both ways he copes and fights back against traditional Fallen values and show that some Fallen aren't 'obsessed with looking behind them so they run into walls because they don't look where they're going'.
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Posted: Wed Jan 20, 2016 5:55 pm
Personality: Castien oozes confidence--or arrogance, depending on the day and personal perspective. He knows what he wants, he knows how to achieve it and he's going to do just that. Failure doesn't stop him, and while he may get frustrated for a time, he'll eventually come back to the problem and attack it from a new angle or decide it's not worth the effort and move on. He considers such things learning experiences, for what better way to find out who he is and what he's capable of than to try and fail, or try and succeed? Nothing is a true failure in his eyes, only a setback or a sign that it's not the road he's meant to be traveling.
Strengths
Determined: When he wants something, he goes after it and isn't liable to stop until he's either achieved his objective or discovered it wasn't something he wanted after all.
Charming: When he so chooses, he can be the picture of good manners and dignity. Smiling, compliments and the whole bit. Easy to get along with, if he decides he likes you.
Self-Assured: Insults don't get him down at all. He knows his worth and if you can't see it, that's your problem, not his.
Weaknesses
Arrogant: He may know his worth a bit too well, which can lead to bragging and even overstating his skills. The overstating is more of him overestimating himself than trying to make himself into more than he is, though.
Vain: He is rather particular about his appearance and wishes to appear well-dressed and well groomed at all times. The surest way to tick him off is to intentionally muss him.
Attention-Seeking: He loves to be the center of attention, and the second best way to get on his nerves is to ignore him when he thinks you should be paying attention.
Likes: Acting, Writing, Attention
Dislikes: Being ignored, Failing, Feeling Worthless
Hobbies
Writing: Fiction and fantasy are his favorite genres to write in, with the occasional sappy romance in between.
Acting: It's hard for him to take a lesser role in any play, but can be placated if he has enough stage time, though he has to be coached in not stealing the show.
Fencing: His favorite leisure activity. It helps him get out his frustration at whatever is vexing him in a way he considers healthy and constructive.
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Posted: Wed Jan 20, 2016 8:42 pm
Prompt Four: A smart-mouthed peer just told your Nightmare that they're a failure to their race. How do they react?
Castien was on his way to fencing practice when the taunt rang out behind him, and froze midstep. There was no mistake, since he was the only other Fallen in the hallway. They were definitely talking to him.
"Yeah, I'm talking to you, chickenhawk! Bawk bawk! You're such an embarrassment, you should be plucked!"
An embarrassment was he? A failure was he? He slowly turned around, and fluffed his feathers before folding his wings against his back and appraising the other Fallen who seemed to be sporting for a fight.
"Well." He drawled at last. "I suppose then that you're a notable example of our people? Because I dare say, if you are, I should be glad to be a 'failure' and an 'embarrassment'. I would even go so far as to say that I'm better off, since I at least don't go around taunting others."
The other sputtered, but Castien didn't give them the chance to consider a retort and lashed out with his fencing foil to poke them above the heart, pulling it back again before they could swat it aside. "Slow reflexes and a slow mind. Good day." He turned to walk away, leaving his joke of opponent seething behind him.
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Posted: Tue Jan 26, 2016 10:05 pm
Critique Incoming!!
Appearance:
This looks good!
Backstory:
Above doesn't actually have a cache, so unless he was adopted from Below's cache, he cannot be an orphan from the cache. You'll need to specify that.
I would like more expansion on how "culture shock" has changed/effected him. This sort of indicates that he spent time with only Fallen. A lot of the Fallen at the Academy are also sort of ignorant of their own culture's values, since they aren't living purely with other Fallen. It would be more of a culture shock at the difference between Above and Below, and how open other races are about their cultures. Goblins do not share their culture at all with the outside world, after all.
As for his goals, unless he's planning on being a well known actor or author only within Goblin territories, you'll need to expand on why he wants to break the Goblin norm. Outside of Goblin territory, its highly discouraged for any Goblin to get the spotlight. If he's so tied up in Goblin culture, he will share this value.
Personality:
You need to expand on everything. All traits require a little sentence or two of explanation about them! Try looking at some of the Approved quests for an idea of what this section is supposed to look like. C:
In addition to the sentences on each trait, I'd like to see a paragraph or two on who he is as a person currently.
Prompt:
Your prompt looks okay for now - but I'll need to see an expansion of his personality section to know for sure.
Concerning Cosplaying...
Jareth is very clearly a personality cosplay of... well, Jareth from Labyrinth. We don't allow personality or appearance cosplays at NMA, so you will need to rework him from the ground up. Its one thing to share a name, but a name and a personality is not okay. Until he no longer resembles the canon character, we cannot approve this quest.
If you have any questions or concerns, please feel free to PM me! Otherwise, quote me when you're ready for your next critique! <3
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Posted: Sat Jan 30, 2016 2:23 am
Did a major overhaul of both name and family history. Hopefully it works out better now. Also expanded nearly everywhere.
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Posted: Sat Jan 30, 2016 9:54 am
Critique Incoming!!
Thank you for getting this done!! Love the new name <3
Backstory:
What was it that made him not get along with his parents? I'd love to see some expansion there about what made his home life so bad he was glad to leave and choose his own path over the wishes of his parents. Since you've stated that he didn't have it all that bad, it'd be nice to have some expansion here. Maybe specify what got him into acting? It's pretty out there for a traditional Fallen and I could see that as being a source of tension if his family are traditionalists. (Him being an actor is A-OKAY though!)
Personality:
This is MUCH better, thank you for expanding on this! Everything here looks perfect! <3
Prompt:
Still looks good!
Expand a little on what tensions lie with his family and how they're patching them up, and give me a quote when you're ready! <3 Thank you~
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Posted: Sat Jan 30, 2016 9:40 pm
Consider backstory extended! Hopefully it clears up any remaining ambiguity.
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Posted: Sat Jan 30, 2016 9:56 pm
Critique Incoming!!
You are good to go!! Thank you for getting all of that sorted out <3
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