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 Posted: Mon Jan 18, 2016 10:31 pm
((Backdated to New Year's Eve/Day))
Five, four, three, two, one!
Happy New Year!
The din of celebration ringing out sounded hollow from the rooftops, where Zircon slumped against a railing, pale and shivering and watching the people below. Her intentions had been to watch for the weak and the drunk, to sap them of energy and leave them in an alleyway, but with the sounds of the season and all the revelry she was beginning to lose motivation. She knew her energy stores were low, that she would need to replenish them with supplies from her lieutenants before she turned in what she had, but it simply felt like there was no sport in draining these people and prematurely ending their nights. What she wanted were starseeds, and those were in short supply with the current PR campaign the Negaverse was trying to pull.
Zircon knew the truth. She knew they were monsters. She just didn't understand why they were trying so hard to hide the obvious.
She thought back to the year before, when she'd had more fruitful plans. In comparison, brooding on a rooftop seemed more than a little lackluster, but there was too much to think about, too much to mull over. Another year of this, and for what? What had they accomplished? Was the war any closer to over? Had she finally diverted away from the horrifying specter that was Zoji La?
Zircon frowned, curling her knees to her chest. At least from this distance she could see the town glow.
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Posted: Wed Jan 20, 2016 2:56 pm
Zircon was not the only brooding soldier lurking on rooftops, Labyrinthite had left his home in the late evening hours, bundled up in a hoodie and his leather jacket without a destination in mind. The holiday would suggest that he should go bar-hopping or crash a party with friends, but the pink and black haired man had few of those left, so his night was empty and he was aimless.
On a normal holiday, Chase would've holed himself inside his house and ignored the rest of the world while people drank themselves into a stupor. This holiday, had the man wanting, wishing he still had people he could call and bother for a night on the town or even stupidly playing video games on someone's couch while drinking even if he himself didn't drink.
It'd been a rough year, with months full of what he was sure was certified insanity. He'd barely begun to feel right in his own skin again, something that'd come with the four deaths and a lack of nightmares, and that had been all the motivation he'd needed.
Chase scaled a building the old-fashioned muggle way, climbing up the building's ladder carefully as his muscles groaned in protest. When he'd reached the top, he pulled himself up and looked down at the bustling city with contemplation, uncertainty. Then, he flexed his fingers and let chaos wash over him. The itch that was very present beneath his skin when he was Chase and not Labyrinthite, vanished as his jacket was replaced with a cloak that swamped him.
Once powered, he felt the pulse of nearby chaos. A split second of deliberation and Labyrinthite was off pursing the aura. Upon finding it's owner, his breath left him in a whoosh of air. "Zircon?"
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Posted: Wed Jan 20, 2016 4:08 pm
Just the mention of her name was enough for the captain to whirl to standing and come to attention. A general's aura was more than enough to put her on edge, but before she had the chance to kneel she caught eyes and paused, the edges of her lips curling upwards in a soft smile.
"Labyrinthite," she said, and her shoulders dropped, releasing the tension she'd been holding in her hands. It was funny, how his first lesson had been not to trust an allied aura, and yet at the sight of him she felt the droll gravity of the season wither and fall away. "General Labyrinthite," she added, with an inflection of pride to her voice. Her tutor had done it, he'd made it to General, with only the cost of a certain hungry look to his eyes. But he'd always looked hungry, hadn't he?
"I haven't seen you around," she admitted, hopping from her ledge to meet him on the sturder rooftop. "The cape suits you."
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Posted: Thu Jan 21, 2016 8:26 am
He didn't know where his head was at, but seeing Zircon, Captain Zircon, filled him a mixed swell of pride and fondness. There were few left that the general genuinely cared for and the woman before him was one of them. It was a rare thing these days for the man to smile in a way that wasn't predatory, but for the blonde he smiled a happy, lopsided grin reminiscent of the days when he'd been young and bright-eyed.
"Captain," he replied, looking terribly proud while he looked over her new uniform. "You look good, " he said approvingly, crossing the roof top until he was standing across from her. "How long--?"
His sense of time was distorted, especially since he'd receded away from others while he'd coped with personal things. He didn't know how long it'd been since he'd seen her and he realized then, that he'd missed her and it was an unfamiliar feeling he didn't know how to cope with.
"Yeah I-- I was focusing on private things."
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Posted: Fri Jan 22, 2016 9:32 am
"A little over a year now," she nodded, touching the hem of her lavender scarf. People climbed the ranks from lieutenant to general in that time span, and here she was, touting about in her little captain boots instead of getting things done. Maybe that was her problem--if she'd spent half as much of her time being productive as she did languishing and brooding, she could have worn a crown by now. But it was brooding that had brought her here, she supposed, under the light of Labyrinthite's recognition, and his pride seemed genuine, for as hollow a victory it felt on her.
"We both did," she added, glancing away for a moment. Since her captaincy, she'd taken part in a number of missions, heard things, seen things, and thinking back to the last time she'd seen the black-and-pink haired man forced her to dredge up a year's worth of work. The carnival, the Rift, the city itself, her correspondences in London and Italy, dealing with Melanite, Pyrophanite, Bolton.
The feeling of desert sand under her toes.
Zircon blinked and shook her head, forcing herself from the reverie. She held out a hand and reached for her weapon, letting the dark crystal of her boomerang glimmer and glint in the low lights of the city. "I have a real weapon now," she said, her mouth set in half of a smile. "Though I'm still better at hand to hand. It's hard to break old habits." She laughed once, as if it might be a warding chime against her memories of the false future.
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Posted: Fri Jan 22, 2016 10:19 pm
"Time has flown by," he said slowly, gaze lingering upon the scarf. Perhaps it was the touch that brought his attention to it, or something else, still he fixated upon it before his eyes lifted to meet hers. Tentatively he reached out to touch her shoulder. "I like the look, purple suits you," he complimented, retracting his hand and folding into himself.
There was a shift in his vision and he saw something that made him stumble backwards.
"Traitor," the general-king snarled.
"Labyrinthite please--"
There are scarfs, bandage wrapped feet. Zircon-- no Zoji --- no Zircon.
Hands shot out to clutch his temple, head spinning. "Zircon-- Zoji?"
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Posted: Sat Jan 23, 2016 4:37 pm
Zircon's grin widened at first, but it dropped away as the General stumbled, reaching out to grab at his coat. "Labyrinthite!" It wouldn't be the first time she'd tried to rescue a wavering general from the cold--it seemed something about their station left them predisposed for the deadly combination of a lack of self-care and harsh weather conditions. This, however, seemed different from malnutrition or exhaustion, the way he was clutching at his head and staring off into nothing. Did something happen? Did she do something wrong?
The captain found herself struck dumb when he sputtered, taking her hands from his chest and backing away slowly. How did so many people know? "Zircon,," she corrected with a voice that sounded like pleading, searching his eyes for anger. Would he feel betrayed for something she couldn't control? Would he report it to the Laurelite? Zircon had been such a good soldier, loyal to the cause and on-time with her reports and her quotas, not this strange vision from a fever dream that had thrown herself away on the idle promise of purity. That wasn't her, now or in any lifetime, it just wasn't.
And yet, she might still be penalized for the actions of a specter who wore her face. "...Where did you hear that name?" she murmured, her eyes wide in alarm.
Maybe it had been an accident. Maybe she had heard him say something wrong.
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Posted: Sun Jan 24, 2016 11:43 am
Zircon's concerns about his health weren't unfounded, in the early stages of his captaincy he'd put his health on the back burner, diving too deeply into his duties to take care of himself the way his body demanded. Now, he took care of himself, well he took better care of himself at his mother's gentle insistence. He ate regularly and even slept more, when night terrors didn't get the better of him, but this, his reaction and stumbling had nothing to do with his health.
The way he looked at her was unsettling, his expression was a mix of confusion, hurt, anger and his gaze bore into her in a scrutinizing manner.
"You left me." It was said as a statement, there were no accusations just facts. "You-- You picked them and left us." In a rare display of emotion, Labyrinthite looked genuinely hurt.
"If we were ever friends, let me take you to Zoji La. Then you might understand."
"No. There's nothing to understand."
He jerked from the flash of memories, blinking whiskey eyes. "Zircon--" He trailed off, head shaking.
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Posted: Mon Jan 25, 2016 12:40 pm
"What?"
Zircon crossed the space between them, searching to catch eye contact. No, no, she would not stand for this, not after being accused by Hvergelmir and Mistral for things she hadn't yet done. She would not allow herself to lose the respect she'd fought hard for, that she'd just seen as a glimmer in Labyrinthite's eyes. Zircon had been robbed of so many things by this false specter, she refused to let herself lose this rapport.
"I'm right here, I never left," she insisted, leaning forward. She dared not reach for him, as a General he was not meant to be touched, but she refused to let him turn away from her. "Did you--do you get the nightmares, too? They're not real, Labyrinthite, these things never happened." She ignored the feeling of thin metal between her ribs, of lying cold and clammy on a laboratory floor.
"I never left," she repeated, clenching her hands into small fists to keep from shouting. It was not right to talk back like this, Zircon was terrified of the ramifications, but at the same time she had to make a stand for herself. "I've worked so hard to be here, do you really think I'd just...go?" she murmured, her expression pained. For all that she'd been inspired by his moment of praise, Zircon felt herself exhausted in one fell swoop by the distrust in his eyes.
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Posted: Mon Jan 25, 2016 2:22 pm
"Not yet, but you do-- you will." A feeling akin to fear coiled and constricted around his heart. The future had taken so much from him, now it was taking Zirocn too, and he almost couldn't bear it. "That future it's not -- it's not fake. It happened, it effected all of us." He remembered his deeds vividly; the confrontation with the Skaikru, what he did to Hvergelmir and to people important to Iris...the list was endless.
It effected him now, with Skaikru surfacing and attacking him present day, the way Hvergelmir remembered but didn't hold it against him, the Reaper mantle that haunted him.
"I don't know Zircon, what's to stop you from leaving?" People had left before, what was to keep Zircon from being next? Never before had the idea of losing a soldier been so infuriating, but she was one of his. It was personal, even if it happened in a reality that might not come to pass. "Things always seem better on the other side, who's to say there aren't things they can offer you that we can't. You wouldn't be the first to turn on us."
He wanted to expect more from her, to believe that she wouldn't leave but the memories. She'd done it once, she could do it again.
"You did it once. History repeats Zircon."
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Posted: Tue Jan 26, 2016 3:05 pm
Zircon's face pursed and reddened, hands balled and held tightly against her chest. "Listen, y-you--" she stammered, fighting through the urge to stay small, stay compliant. The last time she'd talked back to a General, she had ended up through a window, but these blind accusation just weren't fair. If she didn't at least try to defend herself, she might as well give herself over to Hvergelmir now.
"I have worked impossibly hard to be where I am today," she snapped, her hands shaking and her eyes watching him for signs of a strike. "I have followed orders and fought and bled and taken the fall for so many things that I did not deserve. And I keep hearing about Zoji La as if she is something that I am personally responsible for when she belongs to a future that is not mine."
"I get to choose my own destiny as an officer of the Negaverse. Not Hvergelmir. Not Babylon. Not Mistral, and not you." She sniffled, and only then did Zircon realize that somewhere in her speech, she'd begun to cry, hot rolling tears that fell down her face and into her scarf. Angrily, she rubbed her nose and covered her face, turning away from the General.
"You can be mad, that's fine," she said bitterly, covering her face with her hands. "I just throught you of all people wouldn't hold this against me."
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Posted: Tue Jan 26, 2016 3:20 pm
His hands curled into fists at his side and his body trembled but he didn't move to strike her. She was right, he had no idea if the future would come to pass, but the fear coiling in his belly made him think irrationally.
"It doesn't matter if it isn't your future now, it was your future and it still could be." He'd tried those arguments on the Skaikru who attacked him and they'd been relentless. "Be glad that your ghosts did not try to kill you as mine did." He still felt torn about the four deaths and how they'd stained every part of him.
Die Reaper.
Once the Reaper, always the Reaper.
There'd been no second chances for him, not from them.
He'd open his mouth to say more but Zircon was crying and his anger seeped from him. "Zircon." Her name was said harshly, to garner her attention. "You have to understand--" he stopped, inhaled shakily, "I don't care about much, but I-- You -- I take betrayals harshly. You may think you don't want to leave, but what if that future-- if that you can offer you something I can't?"
He let go of so much in his efforts to be Metallia's perfect soldier boy but now, now he was grasping at the edges trying to find something to hold on, to ground him enough to want to keep surviving "I can't-- I don't want to lose you twice."
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Posted: Tue Jan 26, 2016 10:54 pm
"Then don't push me away."
Zircon hiccuped, an ugly sob that she choked down. Fear, despair, grief washed over her in one ugly swell, and after a year of fighting the nightmares she found herself entirely overwhelmed. They were real, they were all real, and that meant that she was a traitor, a dirty traitor, unfit to draw power from Metallia, good only for youma fodder. It was how this would always be.
"You had such potential but then again, you were always a disappointment."
"You don't mean that."
Even in the future, she was doomed to be lackluster.
"I don't know what to offer you," she grimaced, looking over her shoulder and back to him as she slowly uncurled her hands. "I don't know what would be enough to show you that I intend to stay. I--I have lieutenants now, people who were never mine in the new future. I'm closer to earning that General's cape than I've ever been before."
"...I've seen what it does to you, when they draw out the Chaos. It ruins you," she added in a much smaller voice. "I don't want to ever feel that again. It's why she--it's why I went back to Chaos, in the end."
"I expected better of you."
"What a waste."
"I know you hate me, in this other life," Zircon murmured, watching him with wounded eyes. "Would you be willing to reserve judgement in this one? At least for a moment?" He was wrong, in a way--Order could never cause the crashing sense of shame she felt when she looked into those orange eyes.
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Posted: Wed Jan 27, 2016 9:42 am
I don't know how to do anything else, he thought but did not say, the sentence weighing heavy on his tongue as he stared at her. Then, she was crying and he seemed to visibly pale, uncertain of how to respond to the display of emotion. He didn't know the last time he was around a crying girl that wasn't his mother.
And his mother was different.
Was he foolish for hoping that he could hold on to anyone that wasn't her?
This conversation with Zircon was making him feel that way.
I've seen what it does to you. It ruins you. Labyrinthite's stomach twisted and her words triggered another flashback.
"I do. I am and will always be Labyrinthite. I have no other name. I don't live in a fantasy world Zoji La. This is reality and you're going to lose."
"I don't have to. Come with me. We don't have to fight," the woman had tried.
"There is no we, you ruined that when you left," the general-king had hissed, anger and hurt coursing through him, "I'll see you dead before I go anywhere with you."
"Of course I hated you," the general said slowly, stepping back away like the image of who she could would take over the woman he was looking at. "You left, broke the final strands that kept me tethered." He hadn't been stable since Iris used her crystal on him and in that future, he never recovered.
Even now, he wasn't sure if he was recovering or tricking himself into thinking he was okay.
"I don't know-- prove your worth Zircon."
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Posted: Mon Feb 08, 2016 10:20 am
So that was how it was.
At least it was a chance.
"...I understand, sir," she murmured lowly, looking down and away. It was immature of her to assume that there would be sympathy for her plight, and it was unbecoming of a captain to cry in front of her superior officer. She choked down her raw anguish, flooded and drowned it until there was nothing but calm and the resonating warmth of chaos she felt any time she was Zircon.
There was nothing else. There would be nothing else.
"I won't waste the opportunity," she shook her head, nevertheless unable to meet his gaze. What he asked was impossible, truly--she'd been trying to prove her worth for years, and had only been noticed by a scant few. But there was no room for error anymore. She needed to harden her resolve if she was going to overcome this latest obstacle. She needed to be an exemplary officer, or not one at all.
"By your leave, then." She nodded once, folding her arms behind her back with her head down in a soft bow. It was a posture of subservience, of respect, but not one of mutual congeniality. Zircon had lost that privilege.
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