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Rhun stood outside the cabin door, hand hovering over the handle as he was reluctant to enter. Scared to see Deskri's face again, terrified that he'd lose control again. His other hand slid up to his tender cheek. Delilah had really let into him earlier and though he would have been mad she struck him, he couldn't blame her.

You deserve it.

'I did.'

He sighed, his mask still on and his eyes still cold as flints of remorse glimmered here and there. Closing his eyes, he sighed, then turned the handle, entering. As he stepped inside, he looked around, "Deskri?" he called out softly. "...i'm back.." he added even softer.

Rhun set eyes on Deskri, head had been cleaning something but he couldn't tell from that distance. At the moment, he didn't entirely feel it important to figure it out. Delilah had gave him a pretty rude wake up call. Made him realize a lot. He wanted to say something, but nothing would surface at the moment. He stared just past Deskri, trying not to make him feel uncomfortable. Rhun took a deep breath and then softened his face the best he could. He couldn't understand why Deskri got to him, so deep under the walls he had put up so long ago. He was going to try to stay more collected this time. Deskri needed him, and how could he show him to be a support for him if he couldn't control himself. "That's good." he spoke softly, trying to keep the mood positive even though he took note of his nervous behavior. "I hope Delilah hadn't scared you, I thought maybe you'd like to see her again... all grown up." he commented as he approached slowly, carefully. He was taking this all one step at a time as he maintained a calm exterior despite his nervous interior hiding well behind the mask.

He's scare of you now.

He smiled softly at Deskri, trying to show he was no threat, that Deskri could really be safe here even though in the back of his mind, he knew that the voice in Deskri's would be telling him all sorts of lies. "I know.. that it's hard to decipher what are your thoughts.. and what are-..." he trailed off, trying to find a delicate way to put it but could not find anything as the sentence hung in the air incomplete. He was concentrating everything on staying calm, even if he already was. He didn't want anything to set him off and the mask helped, he could transition over time, he thought. So he didn't have to rely on the mask, but for now he had to.

His eye caught a glance at the damage he had done to the door frame and quickly looked away ashamed.

It's your fault.

He couldn't think of anything to say as he just stood there, unable to move. He wanted more than anything to apologize and hold him tightly and tell him everything would be alright but that wasn't going to happen. Deskri had changed as well and they were not going to be the same. He struggled a bit with the thoughts racing through his mind, his mind still pulling up blank answers to questions he wish he could say.

Deskri's comment shot a slight pain through his heart as he shifted his eyes to the ground.

You definitely deserved that.

"It's okay.." he simply responded. He was feeling pretty defeated by all of this. Out of all the times he'd fought through illusions to save Deskri, this was by far the worst. Rhun knew it was his fault for making Deskri scared. He had shown him the monster laying dormant within him and he could not bring himself to blame anyone but himself.

"I.. I didn't really mean it.. like that." he tried to continue but sighed remorsefully, "I'm sorry.." he muttered out.

He closed his eyes and took another breath and opened his eyes to look at Deskri, "Yes, I was able to see Mirabelle. It seems she found her sibling. They were reunited and it seems they went off somewhere to catch up...." he trailed off again. He sported a half smile, trying to keep the conversation light, he just wanted to pretend like none of it ever happened. Even though he knew that it would eventually come up. "How do you feel?" he reluctantly asked, his cold eyes showing hints of compassionate underneath.

Rhun noticed that Deskri had dodged the question but let it slide, not wanting to pressure him further, he was trying to be as delicate as possible, most of his traits still being, well, Rhun's. Only glimmers of Rasiel had been showing through every once in a while. He nodded, accepting the answer and pondered about Delilah. "I had thought the same thing. She seemed to have kept herself occupied over the years." he responded, his memories fleeting to the moments earlier in his office where Delilah had called him out on his behavior. He shifted his gaze to something else, anything else.

"Anyone else? You mean in the sanctuary? As far as I know it's just us, Delilah, Mirabelle and her sibling, Luekos, and.. Melody." he listed off, trying to think if he missed anyone. "Delilah is currently receiving any Metas that come in while I take a break. I just..." he hesitated, turning his head to look away, his guilt prodding him like a hot knife. "I just wanted to say I'm sorry... I shouldn't have lost control.... You should have never seen that..." he stopped as he glanced to Deskri and then back down at the floor. "I didn't want you to see me like that... ever..." he was stern in his voice, keeping his composure pretty well as he closed his eyes and sighed again.

"I will be completely honest with you, Deskri... something that I've been horrible at doing in the past. I cannot exactly control it... this anger. It ignites because I want to protect you." he began to explain, something that had been bound to happen. "I will do everything in my power to keep you safe... even from me." his eyes grew even more stern. "If you don't feel safe around me.. I will understand... You can leave at any time... And I will never be mad about it." he wanted to make sure Deskri understood where they stood. No more games. No more anger, at least not right now, everything shoved back down into it's locked chest. He glanced back at Deskri one more time with pained eyes, "You are also free to stay as long as you like. The offer still stands: No matter what happens, I'll keep you safe from harm."

It wasn't fine. He knew that. But what else could he do but accept his words. At least one of them could. His promises were always unfulfilled and he knew it.

He will never trust you.

"..he doesn't have to.." he answered under his breath. The voice was jabbing at him pretty hard, making it hard to ignore. It was trying desperately to get him to lose control. Rhun kept his stature about him, closed his eyes and moved to the bedroom, pausing at the doorway to see that Deskri had cleaned up after his earlier explosion. A sharp twinge of pain shooting through him as he forced himself to look away.

Once in the bedroom he stood there, unable to decide what to do. He could take off the mask and let himself become Rasiel, but then he risked losing his anger again.

You should just leave. You are a threat.

He stood in the middle of the bedroom as his hard gaze focused on the bed, or rather beneath the bed. His mind was racing, he wanted to play, but that meant becoming Rasiel again.

Just lose control.

"...no..." he answered aloud. He shook his head slightly then sighed. He was truly at an impasse.

"Shower." he suddenly said, as if to announce what he was going to do. He took off his jacket and and unbuttoned his shirt but didn't remove it, leaving it on for right now. He moved back into the hall, taking a glance to see if he could see Deskri. Rhun intended to just give him some space, like a scared creature, he'd hope Deskri would just get used to his presence for now.

Rhun paused as Deskri began to speak, you're not you. He turned slightly as his eyes fell upon Deskri's, his own eyes blank and cold. They started to flicker slightly, grasping the weight of what he was saying. As though he was two different people inside one body. His heartbeat was quickening already as he looked down at his hands for a brief moment.

It's because you're a Malice.

His eyes were confused but scared, paired with a range of emotions he wasn't willing to face. Rhun was starting to shove those feelings back down when Deskri continued to speak. I didn't respond. His eyes darted back to Deskri again, his body wanted to move but it was froze. His eyes were glinting with more emotions that begged to be released. He struggled to keep his emotions from over taking him.

You don't deserve the answer.

"Des, I.." he tried to say something but he couldn't manage to force it out as his eyes narrowed as though he were in pain just trying to stay in control of everything that pleaded to surface.

Only to you. His heart sank, as he knew what that meant. It meant he had to take off the mask. He had to be Rasiel again. He was scared of the answer, terrified of losing control. He couldn't handle it if he broke his heart right here. Every illusion he faced could not have prepared for the actual real denial of Deskri's affection.

He reached a shaky hand upward as though fighting himself to do it. "Aren't you... afraid of me?.... Afraid of.. Rasiel?" he asked, his voice wavering. He wanted to give Deskri the option to take it back, to choose not to see him as Rasiel. His chest was tight and his stomach was churning already, petrified of what could happen.

Of course he doesn't want to see you, you're worthless.

Rhun listened intently to what Deskri was saying, the disassociation of his two selves. Was this something he had devolved to? Was he even Rasiel anymore when he wore the mask? Was Rasiel truly now a different person entirely.

That's because Rasiel is the Malice.

Rhun accepted this as a truth, the disconnection between the two personalities deepening, as he grasped at his mask, trembling. Deskri was right, Rhun could not understand the plight he'd been through. Rhun was a stranger. Rhun was not Rasiel.

'If that is how it is, then let the Malice take over.'

You're going to regret it all over again.

Rasiel gripped the mask hard, throwing it to the ground hard as he looked at Deskri with fierce eyes, standing perfectly still as his breathing deepened and his heart was racing. Why did he feel so different? He was still the same person, but the walls came down and he felt his emotions surfacing yet again. His passion, his guilt, his anger. He was trying hard to hold back from reacting, he knew that if he did, he'd be unpredictable. The last thing that needed to happen.

He tried to think of what to say, his anger switched on like a light as it threatened to boil up out of his own self-shame that he'd let himself get to the point.

Now you'll break. And he'll be left picking up the pieces yet again.

Rasiel merely gritted his teeth, trying not to let his anger get to him, trying to drown out the noise of the voice as static threatened to deafen him all over again. He was scared, if he didn't end this soon, he'd surely make more mistakes. His eyes shifted to the discarded mask, his mind desperate to retrieve it, to put it on, to hide from the world again.

He was tense, his body almost in a sense of panic as he couldn't decide what he was even to do. He was slowly believing the voice in his head that was telling him that he truly had become a malice, or even worse. Even Delilah had called him a monster. Maybe this was the fate he was destined, shaped carefully by Obscurite to be the perfect ticking time bomb. He didn't want to hear want Deskri was going to say, fearing the worst. He couldn't handle that, he would surely break if he knew the truth. He didn't care if it wasn't real as long as Deskri stayed with him. It didn't even have to even be as a couple, just to know that Deskri was there, that's all he wanted at this point.

He tensed further as Deskri started, he was scared, he closed his eyes tight, bracing for the worst. Then he said something, barely audible, he opened his eyes suddenly, confused and pained. What did he say?

I love you too.

He was filled with elation but also a sense of dread. He'd felt this earlier when he had gotten confirmation that Deskri wasn't leaving.

It's not real.

'That's okay... it doesn't have to be.'

Don't pretend like you are.

He was silent for a while, his hands were shaking. Did he hear that right? His legs gave way and he fell to his knees still staring in complete disbelief at Deskri. "......w-what?." he blurted out without thinking. Tears were lining his eyes but he choked it back quickly, he wasn't going to start crying now.

Despite the validation he had wanted for years, he still knew it would be a very long time before they could get used to each other. They had both been through so much, they would have to essentially find each other again. But this. This meant that they could step forward in the right direction toward being a real couple again.

He spoke again, stop hiding. His stomach churned hard as he glanced to the mask still on the floor. Could he really stop hiding from the world. The answer was still no, but maybe, he could at least start by not hiding from Deskri. ".....I can't... stop hiding from everyone... But if you truly wish it, I will not hide from you anymore." his eyes fell to the floor, hoping that answer would suffice. "If it will make you happy, Rhun will never set foot in this house again." he offered as a compromise. He didn't know what else to say. The confession Deskri had made was still sinking in and he hadn't fully comprehended the weight of his words as he sat there on his knees on the floor.