Welcome to Gaia! ::

Rep raised a brow at Jordan as the other man arrived before excusing himself from the bar area and heading over to sit down in the booth, no one paid him much attention. He'd been drinking a little already, still dealing with the lingering sense of uncertainty which had been left behind by his other self and the strange guilt which was what remained of the idea that he had chosen in any way shape or form to give up a life and a love which he didn't deserve in the first place.

The other man got a wry smile. "Awright?" Rep asked.

Rep took the offered sip and his smile softened into a brief wince. "s**t." he said simply. "There's nothing ******** worse."

He handed the can back. "There's still s**t going on out there in general." His memories of the last mission he'd found himself on were difficult to be certain of, feeling more like dreams in places than reality.

He tried to look on the bright side, something someone as selfish as him was pretty good at. "I did get an office though." he said.

Rep nodded, once again reminded of how fragile they all were and harrowed by the fact that it could have been Jordan if the dice had fallen any differently. He tried not to think about the fact that it was all too easy for people to think that he had that particular death wish look about him himself, or at least some had hinted as much through the years. "Its why I'm almost glad a lot of the s**t I do I have to do alone." he said. "Or mostly alone, if I'd been alone on the last one I wouldn't be here, Allan played a major part in ******** bringing me back at all." And though he wasn't sure, he suspected Cael had also, though this he didn't mention because who the ******** would believe it? "I'm glad you are all right, as shitty as that is to say."

"And well, er. I cleared out an archive room." he clarified. "And god no I won't be ******** doing any paperwork. Its just a cool office for a ******** cool guy, so I am like, official and s**t. I hate goddamn paperwork, I leave it to the Deaths who don't like ******** fighting."

"Why. You offering?" he smirked playfully. " I think you'd make a good secretary. You could get me a proper nameplate for my door as first ******** order of business." He didn't dwell on the lingering implications of death and danger but let them go in the way he always did.

"I was just lucky I remembered where the ******** it was when I got my memory back from that ******** bad choices bender. Im still kind of in shock. It's pretty terrible waking up one morning and remembering you are me."

Rep smirked. "Aye there's a ******** queue, especially in my division. Besides, my arse is petite." he glanced back over his shoulder as if he'd be able to see before looking back to Jordan with a brow raised. "I'm sure you could think of a few more inventive names for me, you have in the past."

He did look away though. "I didn't want to come back." he said. "I couldn't even remember why and yet I still didn't like the look of the person I ******** am. It was just...It was almost easy to have Circe take what she wanted, there was just so much I'd like to lose and it seemed like she might only take that."

He clenched his hands, his gaze somewhere far away. "God though, it felt so good to swing her even if I wasn't the one in control at the time." But there was still that memory of drowning and being unable to stop even if he had wanted to.

"But like, Tracey managed to somehow like, push her back or someone did. It got me thinking maybe its no the weapon that makes you strong, maybe any weapon can be like Circe, maybe you just need to like, keep at it. It did make me wonder if we are like, giving up anything to our guys and like, just...never noticing."

He raised a hand to his ear to touch the earring. "Would we even notice what we'd lost?"