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 Posted: Mon Jan 04, 2016 5:55 am
Sometimes it sucked having all the anxiety built up inside of yourself. Eilwen had been in her dormroom, minding her own business, when she felt the anxiety attack kick in. Okay, so maybe her mind had strayed a bit to her home in the Scepters. As calmly as she could she excused herself from the room. Matilda and Xeno didn't seem to notice anything wrong at least. Well, that was good. The last thing she wanted to do was explain to them what was happening.
She made her way through the halls, waving to anyone that happened to pass by her along the way. Eventually she found her way outside. She always felt like the fresh air helped to calm her down. If anything, finding a nice tree to sit against was really the best way to pass the time with the anxiety attack ran it's course. There wasn't much she could do about them. She just had to ride them out.
She found a tree a comfortable distance from the dorm and settled down next to it. She pulled her knees in close to her chest and started to work on her breathing. It felt like she wasn't getting enough air in her lungs. But she knew even if it felt like she wasn't getting enough, she really was getting more than she needed.
"Just take deep breathes Eilwen. You'll be fine." She dat there for a while, just soaking in the sound of the outdoors and trying not to think about what gave her the attack in the first place.
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Posted: Thu Jan 07, 2016 11:29 am
 Fakir had, once again, managed to both escape Zenith and his responsibilities for the evening. Oh, he was well aware of the fact she'd find him soon and ream him a new one, but until then? He'd enjoy himself. Maybe flirt with a fan. Maybe do worse. Hell, maybe mess with the paparazzi.
Or, maybe spend the day by himself. When was the last time Fakir paid attention to himself? When did he stop focusing on upsetting Zenith or the media? Was that before? Before he grew belligerent and decided that wrecking his career and future was his priority? It wasn't like it worked; Fakir never seemed to slander himself enough to earn the reputation he seemed so desperately to try for. He'd even begun to like how things were now. He could do as he pleased, to whom he pleased, and there were no consequences.
Yet, today felt different. He had slipped into a hoodie, throwing the hood up over his head and folding his wings tightly, hiding them within the flaps for wings. The popstar had quickly exited his dorm, skidding down the stairs and throwing himself outside with a loud sigh of relief. Fresh air! Much better than being coped up inside!
Suddenly, a voice caught his attention, head snapping to the side to see a..... Eilwen? Wait... was she panicking? Fakir carefully edged closer, kneeling down right beside the Chimera with a gentle frown.
"Eilwen." He whispered, for once regulating his tone. "This isn't my room."
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Posted: Wed Jan 13, 2016 10:08 am
Eilwen had her eyes closed shut as she tried to get a handle on her breathing. The world around her seemed to be so quiet compared to the sounds inside of her. Her beating heart and heavy breathing only added fuel to the attack. But that cool breeze in the air and on her cheeks were a welcome distraction. She tried to tune in to the sound of nature around her and before she knew it she heard her name. At first she thought she was just imagining things. But when the voice spoke again her eyes finally opened and she lifted her head to look up at Fakir.
Oops. She had said she would use his room. But well, she hadn't really seen him since that first time. What would she have done if he'd actually been in there? She didn't know, but well. Looks like she'd been caught anyway. The tears welled up in her eyes than. She'd gotten some rather shocking news from her parents just two days ago and she'd been holding it in until than.
"My..." She had to pause than and take a deep breathe. Crying and panicking was not a good combination for getting words out. "P-parents are...hav-v-ing... an-nother c-child...." Some people would think this was a good thing. But Eilwen just saw this other child as a replacement. She knew her younger sibling wouldn't get shipped off to the Academy like she had been. They'd grow up in the Scepters like a proper Chimera. They'd be her family's heir. Not her....until this point she had always had some small hope that she'd be accepted by her parents....
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Posted: Wed Jan 20, 2016 2:07 pm
Oh! The tears that welled in her eyes threw him off, eyes widening and hands flying up as if to touch her, instead hovering in the air in panic. His mouth opened to beg her to smile when, instead, it snapped shut, pink eyes widening further. Another child? His hands slowly lowered, face morphing into sympathy as he slowly settled to sit beside her, wings curling into his side.
How did that feel? She was left here, and her parents were having another kid. Would the child be sent to the academy, too? He.... hoped so. Otherwise.... what message would that send to Eilwen? Surely they wouldn't leave her here, alone, as they raised another baby back home? Yet, as he chanced another look at her he had a suspicion he was wrong. Dreadfully so. The Fallen seemed to deflate as he viewed the sad Chimera before him, reaching out to gently touch her fingertips with his. Was this helping? Could he comfort her? Fakir never.... was the comforting sort. At some time, he was, but somewhere along the line he had lost the ability, falling deep into a spiral of selfish whims and misbehavior. Yet, right now, all he wanted was to be there for his... friend? Were they friends?
"Do you want to.... want to talk about it?" He spoke carefully, as if afraid he'd say the wrong thing. He had all the time in the world, he wouldn't mind listening to her troubles if she was willing to trust the Fallen with them.
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Posted: Thu Mar 03, 2016 9:05 am
Eilwen pulled her knees in closer to herself as Fakir took a seat down next to her. She wasn't used to sharing this sorts of moments with others. She had a habit, probably a bad one, of keeping her problems bottled up so others didn't have to worry about them as well. She didn't want to drag other people down with her own worries and insecurities. There was also the fact that she really just met Fakir not too long ago. They'd been on friendly terms, but was he actually her friend? Did he actually care to listen to her? Or was he just putting on some sort of sympathy show for the poor mutant Chimera?
She kept her mouth shut for a while, unable to answer Fakir's question as she stared straight ahead. It was about time she learned to trust other people. If she couldn't bring herself to try and trust Fakir, then she could she say she really trusted Gaius, Korv, or Vanna? She finally turned her head to look the light blue Fallen in his eyes. They were such a soft shade of pink and didn't hold a hint of mischief in them, not that she could find anyway. All she could see was genuine concern.
"I'm not sure there is anything to talk about...." What could she even say about it anyway? Anyone that knew anything about Chimera culture could take one quick look at her and realize she didn't fit in. She could be a Chimera in ever other way possible, but without wings that could support her flight she was pretty useless. "My parents can't have their only child being some flightless Chimera like me. I...I think I knew this day would come. I should be happy right? I mean. I am getting a little sibling. I just don't want to be forgotten." That was her biggest worry. That her parents wouldn't talk to her anymore. Wouldn't believe in her ability to fight for her own dreams anymore. They'd have a child that wouldn't be ridiculed by the other clans. But what about her? She just wanted them to be proud of her.
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Posted: Mon Mar 21, 2016 1:21 pm
He watched her pull into herself, mentally kicking himself. Was he too close to her? Did she dislike this? What was it about Eilwen that made him doubt so much, anyway? Wasn't he usually confident in approaching others? So why her? Was it because she wasn't like the others. She didn't ask a million questions about his career, or gush over his music. She treated him normally, and he liked that. This was a normal friendship, and it was strange to him. He didn't know the "rules". Was he breaking the rules right now?
The lack of a response made his wings droops, head resting on his own knees. He knew it, he just blew everything. She probably thought he was a creep, or annoying. When her turned his pink eyes blinked back, wings perking back up as he gave an inquisitive head tilt. Ah, there was a response, and it.... confused him. Forget her? Who could? He didn't have parents, so he didn't..... really get the relationship between a child and their parents. His were long dead by now, and he never really.... cared, as bad as that sounded. He didn't know them enough to care. Yet, Eilwen did, and for a second he glanced at her wings. Flightless, yes, but beautiful.
"They can't forget about you." He finally answered with, drawing his eyes back to hers. "You don't need to be happy right now. That isn't.... it's okay to be scared. Anyone would be. A new sibling means a change in their life, no matter how small it might be.... I-I don't..... know much honestly about these sort of things, but.... it's hard to forget you, Eilwen. You're kind and smart, and I'm sure your sibling will be the same. It's okay to be.... a-pprenhensive. Don't force yourself to feel a certain way if right now you can't." Wow, big word he barely knew. Did he use it correctly? He looked at Eilwen, giving a faint but nervous smile. Did he say the wrong thing?
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Posted: Sun Jun 26, 2016 11:41 am
Eilwen wasn't really used to having someone to talk to when these sort of troubles got to her. She didn't really feel like bothering her Big with her troubles, as much as she loved him he was also a Chimera and some part of her was always worried he thought of her as a bit of a reject as well. She knew, logically, that he didn't. But she just couldn't get over this fear of her own people...
But here was Fakir, a gentle Fallen. At first she had been jealous of those soft pink wings on her back, but somehow the more she was around them the more she found them comforting. Why was he trying so hard to help her? What did she mean to him anyway? Their first meeting had been terribly awkward at first. He had walked in on her having a similar attack to the one she was having now. She didn't want others knowing she had this problem, and he had just walked right into the middle of one.
Here he was, telling her it was okay to feel the way she felt, natural even. She felt like most people probably felt pretty happy when they heard the news that they'd be an older sibling, but chances were she wasn't the only one in history to be a little bit scared to hear that news. She took a long, shaky breathe and then leaned back against the tree, she kept her arms resting on her knees, but looked up at the clear, dark sky. Somehow the sky was always a comfort to her, even if she couldn't fly into it. Today though, something, no someone, else had comforted her.
"How do you know just the right things to say to calm me down?" Maybe it was the artist in him, maybe he just had a way with words. "Thanks, I'm...definitely still a little scared. But at least I can think with a clearer head now." She nodded confidently and then leaned over to rest against her friend, he was a friend right?
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Posted: Sun Jun 26, 2016 11:59 am
He was like a puppy, wings twitching ever so slightly as she seemed to calm down. Did he know the right things? He just spoke from his heart, something he didn't often do. Music was one thing, speaking it? That meant he could be rejected, or his feelings thrown aside. He was reluctant to let that part of him free, but with Eilwen? She needed it. He couldn't imagine how she felt. If he was in her situation, would he be just as hurt? Probably. Yes. He never liked when his friends brought in new people because he himself was scared of being replaced. It was stupid, he knew it, but it didn't stop the flicker of insecurity.
He wanted to touch her hand. Badly. Something to show he was here, even though he knew that was a bad idea. What right did he have? He was just the weird guy who stopped by. Still, he liked that. He liked that a friendship had to be developed. That Eilwen didn't just go 'you're famous lets be friends'. It made all of this feel real. For once, he felt honest, and perhaps that was why he knew what to say. Eilwen brought out that side of him that longed for a true connection.
"Hey." He broke the silence with, flashing a wide smile. "Do you want to grab ice cream, or something? My treat? I-It's fine if you don't want to! I just thought.... I thought it'd be nice?" Anything to momentarily distract her. He couldn't make her feel better instantly, no, nor did he think that was a good idea. She needed to work through her feelings, and slowly. But who could reject ice cream? Especially after having an attack? Hopefully she didn't notice his teenage nerves at the moment. What? Even popstars got nervous.
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Posted: Mon Jun 27, 2016 8:59 am
There was silence for a while, but Eilwen never thought silence was awkward. In fact she sort of preferred quieter tasks, which is probably part of the reason she didn't really have all that many friends. At least she could make her grand total of friends three now! She sat there for a while, enjoying the feeling of Fakir gently pushing back into her own shoulder. She wasn't much for physical contact, but there some something comforting about Fakir. It probably was a smart move for him to avoid holding her hand though. At least for now.
"Mm, yes?" She blinked and turned her blue eyes from the sky back toward him when he spoke up. She couldn't help but mimic the smile on his face, her was probably a little more tame though. Ice cream? That wasn't such a bad idea. It was better than just returning to her room anyway. She needed just a little more time to fully recover and ice cream was a good enough excuse to forget about the pounding in her chest for now.
"Who could turn down free ice cream? You'd have to be crazy." She pushed herself away from the tree and stood up, brushing the dirt and grass off that was sure to be stuck on her clothes. She stretched her arms up in the air after that, sitting still for so long had made her a little stiff. "I'll follow your lead." At least she was smiling now, that was a big difference from how she was just a few moments ago. She couldn't change her parents decision, she'd just have to find some way to live with it.
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Posted: Mon Jun 27, 2016 9:20 am
She was smiling back! Oh Nine, this girl made his knees weak at times. Luckily, he was sitting down. Watching her stand up, Fakir followed the movement, brushing his clothes off and quickly flicking his wings to ensure nothing had gotten stuck in them before looking back at Eilwen, gently nodding towards the area behind him.
"I'll have you home by curfew, promise~" He joked, pink eyes curved as his smile remained. He tugged on the hood, slipping it back over his head. He wasn't going to risk any fans seeing him and ruining this evening. He had a friend to cheer up! There was no time for signatures, or paparazzi. "Alright, it's this way." The fallen hummed, turning his back to Eilwen to lead her to his favorite local ice cream joint.Leopleuradon Do we want this to be the end?
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