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Arapuer

PostPosted: Fri Aug 20, 2004 8:36 pm


I have created this for serious discussion. Very non-rp.
If a topic dies. Simply create a new one.

The topic i am starting is the use of the word "rape" in the gay guild.
I got in trouble for joking around with the word rape. Saying that i wish to rape JoVo in his sleep. I have recently edited it. But yes. I was merely joking around. If you want to see it for yourself. Check page 5 i believe of the JoVo fan club thread. Astri edited it once. Then i did it again.

I do understand that rape is a serious issue. And i am very aware that people actually are raped and such. And i do feel for them. Because it is wrong to put anyone up to a sexual act against there will. Especially children. And that does piss me off to a great extent whenever i hear about something like that. I completely understand that. But take in the fact to consider the use of the word. And I (this is my opinion) believe that using the word the way that i did. Is not incorrect. It is merely playing around and joking. Not joking about the fact that rape happens. But joking about the fact that he, him being JoVo, looks that good. I would never use the word to put down or make fun of people who actually have the action used against them. Because it would anger me if i saw anyone using it in that matter. But i believe that is was kind of messed up for someone to become angered for the way that i used the word. I can understand a bit. But please. You should go to the extent of editing a post because the word was used. I would understand much more if the person was joking about the fact that rape happens. But that is not how it was placed into context.

That is my statement on this issue.

Please feel free to reply as you see fit. As this is a serious dissusion thread and it is very open to opinions. And i expect all people who post here to be mature about topics and not to take much offence or go overboard with anger about these things. This has not be created for role playing or joking around in any matter. Make sure you understand that before you post. Thank you. =D!



Note to the moderators of this guild.
This thread follows every rule that you have set. I have double checked this as i have worked hard on another thread and it was locked. And since it is under every rule and not broken any. I will take offence if you lock it. And again, please dont edit this post D=
Thank you =D!
PostPosted: Fri Aug 20, 2004 8:40 pm


I used it once too. rolleyes

It's okay. We still love you blaugh heart

Linbrood


Arapuer

PostPosted: Fri Aug 20, 2004 8:54 pm


Subliminal Message
I used it once too. rolleyes

It's okay. We still love you blaugh heart
I think that you just missed the whole point of serious discussion. Maybe you got the serious part. But the word "discussion" must have gotton you confused. This thread is was basically created for thinking about what you type and making it sound good. Maybe i should have made the topic, "Elongated Debate About Serious Matters". But i dont know.
PostPosted: Fri Aug 20, 2004 9:08 pm


takeshi_sakami
I have created this for serious discussion. Very non-rp.
If a topic dies. Simply create a new one.

The topic i am starting is the use of the word "rape" in the gay guild.
I got in trouble for joking around with the word rape. Saying that i wish to rape JoVo in his sleep. I have recently edited it. But yes. I was merely joking around. If you want to see it for yourself. Check page 5 i believe of the JoVo fan club thread. Astri edited it once. Then i did it again.

I do understand that rape is a serious issue. And i am very aware that people actually are raped and such. And i do feel for them. Because it is wrong to put anyone up to a sexual act against there will. Especially children. And that does piss me off to a great extent whenever i hear about something like that. I completely understand that. But take in the fact to consider the use of the word. And I (this is my opinion) believe that using the word the way that i did. Is not incorrect. It is merely playing around and joking. Not joking about the fact that rape happens. But joking about the fact that he, him being JoVo, looks that good. I would never use the word to put down or make fun of people who actually have the action used against them. Because it would anger me if i saw anyone using it in that matter. But i believe that is was kind of messed up for someone to become angered for the way that i used the word. I can understand a bit. But please. You should go to the extent of editing a post because the word was used. I would understand much more if the person was joking about the fact that rape happens. But that is not how it was placed into context.

That is my statement on this issue.

Please feel free to reply as you see fit. As this is a serious dissusion thread and it is very open to opinions. And i expect all people who post here to be mature about topics and not to take much offence or go overboard with anger about these things. This has not be created for role playing or joking around in any matter. Make sure you understand that before you post. Thank you. =D!



Note to the moderators of this guild.
This thread follows every rule that you have set. I have double checked this as i have worked hard on another thread and it was locked. And since it is under every rule and not broken any. I will take offence if you lock it. And again, please dont edit this post D=
Thank you =D!


It's a very well-written statement. I think Ms. Astri should have given you a private warning... perhaps a public one too, in the form of a reply. But I won't take any punitive action against her, as she didn't censor you, but merely "tagged" your post, none of which violates existing Crew guidelines. I've taken cousel on the matter of this form of moderation, and while I believe it should be used sparingly, I'm not ready to count it out, as it may have potentially useful applications.

As for the rape issue, I'll say this. Words can hurt. We belong to a group of people who know that better than anyone. I'll leave it up to the others to elaborate in agreement or dissent. You haven't done serious or intentional wrong, but make an effort to be sensitive. It's a severe trauma to a victim and even to their friends. I'll never look at it the same since...
well, nevermind.
The goal of the Crew's actions thus far is not oriented toward punishing anyone, but toward protecting the group at large, and in some cases preserving the Rules also which serve that function. And don't say it's not necessary, it is. A lot of the join requests mention wanting a haven, a safe environment, and that's something this Guild strives to be.

I also deem that in this case you are referring to Ms. Astri on official guild terms, and should use the honorific, as per the aforementioned Rules. If I may expand, in order to set this topic as an example, it's not necessary to use it for JoVo in this case, as we are considering him in terms of being a guild member and sexy individual, rather than as a Crew member.
Since you asked us not to edit your post, I suggest you edit it, including where it says "should" and you seem to mean "should not".

Vague
Captain


Damian Myrddin

PostPosted: Fri Aug 20, 2004 9:09 pm


I just wanted to add my own little view on this. From the way I see it, the internet and TV has desensitize the growing generations of youths. So we hear the occasional "Omgz I hate you Ima kill you!" and "Oh man you're so hot I can rape you right now" and so on. This also plays with the belief that parents hold about today's teens that believe that they(teens) know everything even though they really don't, since almost everybody has probably seen a bloody scene, accident or situation on TV or the Internet, it gradually seems like an everyday thing in our minds and that it probably won't occur to us.
However that doesn't help with how we cope when something actually happens to us, the emotional trauma is just as piercing. Our everday attitude towards these sorts of things just creates an illusion and a joke of it, it mocks the loss that others feel, and the suffering it brings.
PostPosted: Fri Aug 20, 2004 9:28 pm


Vague
It's a very well-written statement. I think Ms. Astri should have given you a private warning... perhaps a public one too, in the form of a reply. But I won't take any punitive action against her, as she didn't censor you, but merely "tagged" your post, none of which violates existing Crew guidelines. I've taken cousel on the matter of this form of moderation, and while I believe it should be used sparingly, I'm not ready to count it out, as it may have potentially useful applications.
I completely understand that. But i do believe that she should have told me in private, and informed me of more reasons than it being a "delicate issue". Because i know that it is a delicate issue. And i was not placing in context as a way to offend anyone. And if i have. I sincerly apologize and will think more forward about it in the future. But that is just my nature. As i am person who is very open about things and it is very hard to offend me or anger me. But this topic has put me in a thoughtful mood. Therefore i created a thoughtful thread. And i am actually quite glad that she had done that. Because it shows that this guild has great moderation and is a wonderful place to be. And you should keep that it. As it is a great way to point things out to people.

Vague
As for the rape issue, I'll say this. Words can hurt. We belong to a group of people who know that better than anyone. I'll leave it up to the others to elaborate in agreement or dissent. You haven't done serious or intentional wrong, but make an effort to be sensitive. It's a severe trauma to a victim and even to their friends. I'll never look at it the same since...
well, nevermind.
The goal of the Crew's actions thus far is not oriented toward punishing anyone, but toward protecting the group at large, and in some cases preserving the Rules also which serve that function. And don't say it's not necessary, it is. A lot of the join requests mention wanting a haven, a safe environment, and that's something this Guild strives to be.
I am thus dissapointed in this response. Please. This is a very serious thread and i do not wish for anyone to take any offence here. I would like it if you would elaborate on the issue you brought up ending your first paragraph. Because "well, nevermind" is a very inapropriate way to end your end of the arguement. And if you deem it necissary to tell me in private about that. Then please do so. Because i would like to listen. Its what i do.
I do realize that the Crew wishes to make this place better. And as i stated earlier, I am quite pleased with the moderation here. Im sure that there are not many other guilds with moderation as good as this. And i never did refer to Ms. Astri's actions as "punishment". I am reinciting the fact that i am pleased with what she has done. And it made me think about this issue quite a bit. And i enjoy this type of disscussion very much so. And i support what she has done 100%. But. I am dissapointed because i was not meaning for it to be used for the way she warned me. And thus i created this discussion.


Vague
I also deem that in this case you are referring to Ms. Astri on official guild terms, and should use the honorific, as per the aforementioned Rules. If I may expand, in order to set this topic as an example, it's not necessary to use it for JoVo in this case, as we are considering him in terms of being a guild member and sexy individual, rather than as a Crew member.
Since you asked us not to edit your post, I suggest you edit it, including where it says "should" and you seem to mean "should not".
I am referring to JoVo in that manner because it is the way JoVo is referred to in the thread. I do not mean to portray him any lesser than any other Crew member. I still have the same respect for him as i always have. It is just that in this case, I was joking around to him more like a friend than a moderator.
And i will fix that. Thank you for pointing it out. And thank you for respecting my request to not edit my post. I appreciate it.

Arapuer


Arapuer

PostPosted: Fri Aug 20, 2004 9:35 pm


Damian Myrddin
I just wanted to add my own little view on this. From the way I see it, the internet and TV has desensitize the growing generations of youths. So we hear the occasional "Omgz I hate you Ima kill you!" and "Oh man you're so hot I can rape you right now" and so on. This also plays with the belief that parents hold about today's teens that believe that they(teens) know everything even though they really don't, since almost everybody has probably seen a bloody scene, accident or situation on TV or the Internet, it gradually seems like an everyday thing in our minds and that it probably won't occur to us.
However that doesn't help with how we cope when something actually happens to us, the emotional trauma is just as piercing. Our everday attitude towards these sorts of things just creates an illusion and a joke of it, it mocks the loss that others feel, and the suffering it brings.
I completely understand that and as i stated in my opening arguement that i did not use it in that matter. In no way did i mock the loss that anyone may have. Or at least, I never meant to at all. And if that is how the message was recieved by some people. Then i sincerly apologize. I myself personally know a victim of rape. As a matter of fact, i have known this person since I was born, being as this person is my mother. And in no way did i place that word to mock anyone. I was merely using it as refference to how JoVo looks. Not literally stating that i would actually go out and perform that act upon him. You cannot argue the fact that JoVo is a great looking person. And i was merely toying with that. So please do not look at it as if i was mocking anyone. Because i couldnt bring myself to that. As I would be mocking myself. Because i am the result of it. So thank you.

Now i have become slightly angered. And i apologize for that.
PostPosted: Fri Aug 20, 2004 9:47 pm


It's possible to use something in a casual context and still be quite offensive because of what you would be saying if you were making a literal statement.
I find it offensive when people say "that's so gay" or "that's retarded". Do they mean to say bad things about me, or my retarded friends? No. But the words are still hurtful, in part because of the casual( some might say thoughtless) way they are thrown around.
I don't think it's necessary to make my point, but:
I was referring to the time I found out someone very close to me was raped. I've never hurt so much or been so angry( well, perhaps when I first heard about Matthew Shepard, but that's another story). He was afraid to admit it or even think about it for a long time. He almost killed himself before I found out what was wrong and got him to get legal and emotional help.

takeshi_sakami
Vague
I also deem that in this case you are referring to Ms. Astri on official guild terms, and should use the honorific, as per the aforementioned Rules. If I may expand, in order to set this topic as an example, it's not necessary to use it for JoVo in this case, as we are considering him in terms of being a guild member and sexy individual, rather than as a Crew member.
Since you asked us not to edit your post, I suggest you edit it, including where it says "should" and you seem to mean "should not".
I am referring to JoVo in that manner because it is the way JoVo is referred to in the thread. I do not mean to portray him any lesser than any other Crew member. I still have the same respect for him as i always have. It is just that in this case, I was joking around to him more like a friend than a moderator.
And i will fix that. Thank you for pointing it out. And thank you for respecting my request to not edit my post. I appreciate it.


that, um. was exactly my point. as you can see, I said the honorific was not necessary for JoVo, because he was being referred to as your friend, rather than in reference to his Crew position.

Vague
Captain


Arapuer

PostPosted: Fri Aug 20, 2004 9:53 pm


Vague
It's possible to use something in a casual context and still be quite offensive because of what you would be saying if you were making a literal statement.
I find it offensive when people say "that's so gay" or "that's retarded". do they mean to say bad things about me, or my retarded friends? No. But the words are still hurtful, in part because of the casual( some might say thoughtless) way they are thrown around.
I don't think it's necessary to make my point, but:
I was referring to when I found out someone very close to me was raped. I've never hurt so much or been so angry( well, perhaps when I first heard about Matthew Shepard, but that's another story). He was afraid to admit it or even think about it for a long time. He almost killed himself before I found out what was wrong and got him to get legal and emotional help.
As do I. I take great offence when someone says something is "gay" or "retarded". Is does get me a bit. But probably not much to you because I am very open and forgiving about things. And I cant hold grudges or anything like that. But those that you have just stated ARE used to downsize something. Because the way those are used are meant to offend and mock. But what I said wasnt. So you just put an off-subject topic into this discussion. I see those fraises irrelivant to the matter at hand. And i am the living result of a rape victim. Thank you.

@Josh: If you read this and get mad at me because i never told you this. I will exclude you as being my friend. This is a very private issue for me and i only brought it up as this is a very serious matter. Dont you ever bring that up. And if Jazzmin gets word of this. I will destroy you. And no, i am not kidding.
PostPosted: Fri Aug 20, 2004 9:54 pm


takeshi_sakami
I completely understand that and as i stated in my opening arguement that i did not use it in that matter. In no way did i mock the loss that anyone may have. Or at least, I never meant to at all. And if that is how the message was recieved by some people. Then i sincerly apologize. I myself personally know a victim of rape. As a matter of fact, i have known this person since I was born, being as this person is my mother. And in no way did i place that word to mock anyone. I was merely using it as refference to how JoVo looks. Not literally stating that i would actually go out and perform that act upon him. You cannot argue the fact that JoVo is a great looking person. And i was merely toying with that. So please do not look at it as if i was mocking anyone. Because i couldnt bring myself to that. As I would be mocking myself. Because i am the result of it. So thank you.

Now i have become slightly angered. And i apologize for that.

AAAH >_ sad I see no point in accusing you or any others about using those kinds of things inappropriately, I was just trying to point that its a natural result in todays social influences. At most I just wanted to create an awareness towards this.
EDIT: Also, I didn't mean to say you were mocking, I meant that the desensitization itself, not you. I'm sorry you took it that way.

Damian Myrddin


Arapuer

PostPosted: Fri Aug 20, 2004 9:57 pm


Damian Myrddin

AAAH >_ sad I see no point in accusing you or any others about using those kinds of things inappropriately, I was just trying to point that its a natural result in todays social influences. At most I just wanted to create an awareness towards this.
Then i am sorry for mis-interpreting what you had wrote. I took it the other way around. And that is my fault. I apologize.
And i half-way agree with you. Because you should very much watch how you use it. And that is what i am trying to get out.
PostPosted: Fri Aug 20, 2004 9:59 pm


Damian Myrddin
I just wanted to add my own little view on this. From the way I see it, the internet and TV has desensitize the growing generations of youths. So we hear the occasional "Omgz I hate you Ima kill you!" and "Oh man you're so hot I can rape you right now" and so on. This also plays with the belief that parents hold about today's teens that believe that they(teens) know everything even though they really don't, since almost everybody has probably seen a bloody scene, accident or situation on TV or the Internet, it gradually seems like an everyday thing in our minds and that it probably won't occur to us.
I believe it's less that we believe it won't occur, it's more that we understand it happens and wish to hide from it by pacifying our emotions about it. Through overexposure, we learn to come to terms with it, eventually (as in this case) trivializing it to the point where it ceases to exist as something terrifying until the actual experience occurs. Even the word "sex" was considered foul language until the 80's, now even elementary students can cuss like a sailor.

Accidents like [this] happen, and interpretation was critical in the decision how the comment was to be approached, if at all. The real question is, to what extent can we, as individuals, be responsible for how someone interprets wording?

Keithing
Crew


Arapuer

PostPosted: Fri Aug 20, 2004 10:06 pm


Keithing
Accidents like Takeshi's happen, and interpretation was critical in the decision how the comment was to be approached, if at all. The real question is, to what extent can we, as individuals, be responsible for how someone interprets wording?
It was not an accident. I purposely placed it there. And i did think about it before i used it. I had assumed that we are fairly mature enough to see it as a joke. And not act like less-mature people to look at it as if you are at 4 years of age and your 17-year-old brother just used the word "s**t" in front of you. And my assumtion was incorrect. And thus this is the end result of it. And that statement that i just made about maturity, I really do hope no one takes offence to that statement as it is just a voiced opinion and it is your choice to take it offensivly, as I did not mean it to be, I used it for debate-purposes, and I did not use it to downsize anyone. Just to clear that up. Thank you.
PostPosted: Fri Aug 20, 2004 10:11 pm


I don't think its maturity, but instead its viewpoints, perspectives, values and beliefs.
For example, some parents think 's**t' is an evil word, but thats because they were raised in a different time, it doesn't mean their more immature for their age, but instead they are disoriented in this modern age, because they were raised to think differently.

Damian Myrddin


Keithing
Crew

PostPosted: Fri Aug 20, 2004 10:18 pm


takeshi_sakami
It was not an accident. I purposely placed it there.
I meant "accident" as a misunderstanding (ironic, isn't it?) of meaning. ... And now that I think about it sounds like I'm placing blame on you, which I apologize for.
Reply
The[ Original] Gay Guild

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