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 Posted: Sun Dec 13, 2015 5:37 pm
It was hard to walk into the libraries.
Lex had avoided them for weeks after coming back from Sweden, busying himself in the Infirmary tents, secluding himself in his basement room, doing anything he could to not take a step through that now dreadfully looming threshold. The fear of reliving every small moment they'd had, every private kiss or whispered word, every sly smile or quick glance. The memories still ached in his joints, and neither whiskey or ******** Maebe alleviated the pain for long.
But Lex had a certain need, one that was bobby-pinned out of his eyes, and the Life Hunter only trusted one person to take care of said need.
Wood-heeled boots clacked on the tile leading into the archives, his head pounding with the dread of seeing a strawberry braid, or a whiff of tea. White knuckles rapped on the ajar door, clearing his throat. "Stormy?"
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Posted: Mon Dec 14, 2015 8:29 am
She still wondered what Ami would say when she returned, what cutting words would be issued when the Lifer returned to find out that only a day into Stormy's custody, half the library had been wrecked. She could thank God all she wanted that the shelves in the main HQ had stayed safe, but that was a wound, like many others she had, that would not heal.
She was going over the list again of who had taken what out and how long it had been when Lex knocked. Despite it not being loud, Stormy jerked her head up as if she were antsy. At least her earl grey tea wasn't near enough to be in danger of being spilled. "Hello, Mr. Lex."
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Posted: Wed Dec 16, 2015 7:14 pm
The smell of earl gray immediately set his alarms blaring, but Lex sighed in relief at Stormy's voice. He was glad to hear her timid softness as opposed to clipped, annoyed, and definitely from Brooklyn. Though, Regal reminded him, Amalie would not be the first to answer. She'd wait, just until Lex got comfortable, and then drive a spear through him - verbally and physically, probably at the same time.
"Ah, Ams- I mean, Amalie. She's not here, is she?" He put on a smile, taking a few strides to the girl. "Sorry I've not been a better coworker - life got a little busy, got called away for some projects. You know the drill." Gray eyes swept the library, looking for any sudden movements or even the faintest glimpse of braided hair.
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Posted: Thu Dec 17, 2015 9:13 am
"Oh." It hadn't meant to leave her, it should have been just a breath. Almost like she had forgotten the wreath of heaviness around Ami the last time they had spoken. "It's okay. A lot of people are out. I'm not here even when I'm here, either. More eyes than heart."
Amalie, he said.
Stormy's fingers sought out the cup for something warm to touch. "Miss Ami's on a mission. She left the library care to me." For what good that was worth now.
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Posted: Thu Dec 17, 2015 1:12 pm
His entire posture relaxed, Lex's smile slipping into more of a small grin. He shouldn't be so glad Ami wasn't there, Lex told himself, but here he stood relieved like a rabbit when the hawk has flown away. Lex sat, legs crossed, opposite Stormy.
"That's quite the burden she left you." Lex leaned in, sympathetic but not looking Stormy in the eye. Eye contact would just ruin everything. "I'm sure she'll be understanding about the libraries in the labs. That was no one's fault." He blinked, shifting his focal point to a dusty book behind Stormy's shoulder.
"Did she say what kind of mission?"
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Posted: Fri Dec 18, 2015 7:44 am
Would she be understanding? Stormy had to wonder. Ami had called them her legacy after all, and that was a powerful word now.
"Something about what's left of the Libraries of Alexandria," she replied. (Funny, the parallel of destroyed libraries.) The lack of eye contact was comfortable. It shouldn't have been; it wasn't Lex's style. "I've also been resetting the shields at her house."
There was an expectant pause, an invitation.
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Posted: Fri Dec 18, 2015 8:09 pm
"Well, that's the perfect assignment." Lex chuckled, as fake as the day Stormy first met him. It was a flawless match, though. Ami loved her books, and Alexandria was the library of libraries. Hopefully it gave her some small pleasure; hopefully it would keep her mind from wandering back to him. Lex let out a soft sigh, running a hand through his hair - it wouldn't, he knew that. Amalie Raine did not let go, of anything.
The jig was up with Stormy's last sentence, and Lex finally looked down at the girl, suddenly seemingly older, weary. "Ah, so you know." Lex cleared his throat, looking away again. Horace had been easy to talk to about this whole state of affairs, but Stormy was a different case. They'd worked together - the three of them - for so long now. They were tight knit, in Lex's mind, and Stormy was just as much collateral as Eva or Evan. "I'm sorry."
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Posted: Fri Dec 18, 2015 8:22 pm
"No," she said quietly. "She didn't say." It was important to hear the words, whatever the silent and obvious conclusion was—whatever her apprehension to pick up more weight was. (Here she should have reached out. Here, another Stormy would have taken his hand and asked him to sit down and share. But here, her hands feel cold despite the tea.) "I didn't want to pry..."
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Posted: Sat Dec 19, 2015 9:14 am
Lex's face crumpled in a momentary flinch, a silent groan reaching through his bones. Of course Ami hadn't said anything to Stormy - it had been such an immediate shock, she wouldn't have the words. Lex didn't want to break another heart.
If he had learned anything from Sweden, however, it was moving forward, accepting his mistakes for what they were, and making his path. Lex took a deep breath, face still scrunched. "I broke a promise. I cheated on Ami, or at least I thought about it." His fists were balled again, shaking and white-knuckled. "I went as far as to kiss Maebe, before she stopped me. I had the full intent to continue, though."
He hung his head, wringing his hands. "I'm sorry if I've disappointed you, as well."
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Posted: Sat Dec 19, 2015 12:01 pm
It wasn't a surprise. So why did it hurt like one? "Why?"
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Posted: Sun Dec 20, 2015 6:28 pm
It was at that point that Lex would have fished a cigarette from seemingly nowhere and lit it, before delivering some smooth one-liner, if the man were anything like the tropes he played up to. There were no cigarettes, however, and Lex was nothing like the bad boy he'd tried to portray.
"I wanted some sort of response from her." Lex sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. It was finally time to fess up, and Stormy was the best substitute for Amalie herself. She was tied to her, after all. "She's always been so... so dead, on the inside." Lex was unsure why he was giving Stormy information she already knew. "Cold, vacant. It got to the point where her love didn't feel like love, but an act. A forced smile, if you will."
He ran his fingers through his hair again, jostling the bobby pin that kept his bangs back. "And instead of just talking to her about it -" Lex really wished there was a bit of booze in him right now. That would make all of this so much easier.
"I'm not a good person, Stormy."
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Posted: Mon Dec 21, 2015 7:55 am
There could have been any number of things that happened then. Not a guilt trip, for she could tell Lex was harder on himself about it than anyone else could be, but something more than moon-eyed gaze she gave him now. The sinking feeling in her chest, separate from sorrow for Ami, turned into a sudden plummet to her toes, a chilly and abject horror she couldn't prepare for. Stormy looked at him like he was a ghost, and not the kind that their job introduced them to.
"Is that what you think?" she asked, her voice still soft. (This was a library after all.) "If it's fleeting and cold, it isn't there at all? If the choice is deliberate but small lipped and stiff, it's forced? If not black, it must be white?" Her hands were beginning to tremble slightly. "Please be honest."
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Posted: Wed Dec 23, 2015 10:44 pm
Now he'd done it. Lex had toed the line and lost his already stumbling balance, falling over the line into Stormy's personal life. She spoke the way some of Ami's poetry did, the authors hurt by some invisible force's thoughts. Something Lex had said hurt the girl personally, and now he couldn't brush it off.
Be honest, Stormy said.
Hands wrung and shaking, Lex raised his head to look at Stormy, ghost of a smile on trembling, thin lips. "That's what I thought." Then why did it hurt so badly. If the love was fake, why did he miss it? "I'm not sure, anymore."
If Sweden had taught Lex anything, it was that he must be real with himself. Pomp and swagger would do nothing for him. "Perhaps, an act is an attempt, and if the attempt is made - that means there's something there, doesn't it? So if she tried, then she did love me - and I loved her." The ghost became more corporeal, Lex's hand cautiously reaching to rest on Stormy's shoulder.
"Small lipped and stiff, fleeting and cold - they're better than lips that don't purse. Better than stagnant and lukewarm."
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Posted: Thu Dec 24, 2015 8:34 pm
She didn't want to feel his hand, but she didn't shirk away from it either. Maybe Jack was right: maybe she just enjoyed being left in uncomfortable situations. (Maybe she just really wanted to cry again, like that was new.)
Stormy scratched her underarm like someone might scratch their chin but didn't pull her sweater sleeve up to do so; now wasn't the time to show scars. "It isn't fair to put you two on a pedestal," she said, looking somewhere ahead rather than at Lex. "But I did, some time ago. I don't know why. You weren't perfect by any means. But...you were the next closest thing, I think. You were a constant. Even when Evan or Tuck was gone, even if Gale was out on a mission, even if something went wrong, at least you were..."
Only then did she remember she was still holding her tea. Stormy took a cold sip and set it down.
"You were some of the first people I ever met here, Mr. Lex. I'll be honest too. Knowing that this didn't work, it...i-it felt a little like Nevada dying again. Like one more piece of the earth had shifted." And the after tremors were heard in her voice. "And...A-And it scares me. Because--Because maybe Gale will wake up and think so too."
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Posted: Sun Dec 27, 2015 9:43 pm
His grip on Stormy's shoulder was near crushing, before letting go completely. Lex had always known Stormy looked up to them - but this was something he was entirely unprepared for. Stormy's trembling voice shook Lex the same way Ami's tears did, the same way Oliver's trust in Lex did. He'd gone and killed Nevada again.
A hug would not fix this; bullshit words of encouragement wouldn't help. Lex couldn't - no, he never would again - just stick the girl with a needle in the hopes of a quick fix. Stormy was scared; monsters didn't scare them any longer. He really had become a demon.
"Stormy." Lex cleared his throat, absently rubbing his scarred finger. "Gale and I are two different animals entirely. He is a good person. Gale is noble, and kind, and won't-" He cleared his throat again, trying to clear away the midwestern twang that persisted. "Gale ain't going to trade a tiara for a Burger King crown."
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