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If she'd been asked, Chariklo wouldn't have been able to explain why she was out patrolling. Why she'd bothered to power up. Maybe it was because she felt that she owed this to her friends. They'd found her and saved her life. And even if she didn't think it was worth the effort, they had.

And Orah, bless her, had not said anything to accuse or question. Nor had Laney. Both had been amazing all things considered.

Yes, maybe that was why she'd let Ida talk her into coming out. Scratching idly at the still healing scar on her forearm, she tried to think of something to say. She didn't want to whine or become lost in a mess of half-felt apologies. And much as she loved her friends, there was still a little knife edge of resentment. They hadn't let her die. And there were times when that fact was hard to face.

After a moment, she sighed softly and reached out to grab Ida's hand and squeeze it. She was still having trouble vocalizing everything that had and continued to parade around in her brain. But something as simple as physical contact helped her to at least express something.

"I don't know why you put up with me sometimes, dear-heart," she murmured, hoping that if she could get Ida talking about the Incident, it would somehow make it easier for her too.

Giving the hand in her own another gentle squeeze, Chariklo managed a faint smile.

"I know, but some days it's hard to remember. I try, but it's hard to ignore the little voices that tell me otherwise."

Almost reluctantly, she let go of Ida's hand, almost as if she was afraid of seeming too clingy. Blinking rapidly, she made a tiny coughing noise as she tried to swallow down the tears that were so close to the surface these days.

"I care about you too, punkin," she murmured. "And I really am sorry for being such a worry. I... probably should have tried to talk, but I was so afraid it would be like that last meeting with Mintaka or something. Like I'd look at your eyes and see someone who despised me staring back."

It was more than the shrinks at the hospital had been able to get out of her. Maybe even more than she'd told Cordy or Angus. And even saying that much scared her down into her bones.

Shoulders that she hadn't realized were tensed suddenly relaxed. Slumping a little in relief that her confession hadn't earned her disdain or dislike, she let Ida sooth her. Did her best to listen to what her friend was saying without throwing condemnation on herself.

"Try telling Mintaka that," she muttered with a little snort and a flash of her old, brash personality shining through for a moment. "She's convinced that I'm the worst kind of liar and traitor imaginable. Amytis and Ava talked to me just long enough to tell me I wasn't anyone they wanted in their lives. Remarque is about the only one who has not freaked out on me in some way. At this point, I'm fairly certain Tantalus thinks I'm the devil incarnate."

She tried to laugh it off, but the hurt was plain. Tears leaked out and she brushed them away irritably. The sense that she was unwanted, worthless and terrible was still there. But somehow, having Ida there listening helped to hold it back. Even if she'd managed to hurt Ida all in the name of protecting her from whatever was wrong with herself.

"'I... I," she began, trying to articulate that her withdrawal had been all for their protection and not sure how to get the words out. "I was trying to keep you safe," she finally managed, wishing that she was more eloquent.

Freezing a little, Chariklo found herself wondering when their roles had become so reversed. It should have been her offering comforting words and soothing reassurance. Still, she didn't try to argue or fight it. Closing her eyes for a moments, she actually leaned a little into Ida's hand.

And then remembered that was a lot taller than her friend and making her reach up like this probably was a little mean.

Catching Ida's hand, Chariklo held it against her cheek for a second longer before gently moving it and leaning over just enough to brush her lips against Ida's forehead.

"We're friends," she said simply. "Friends should protect each other, I think. And I'll try harder to not lock you or Hver or anyone out like that again."

Left unsaid was how terribly fragile Chariklo was emotionally and that it wouldn't be easy to let people back in with the same ease she had before she'd purified. But she was determined to try her best and hope it would be enough for now.

Somewhere in the city, another troubled soul sat poised over a letter.

Two dark, tormented eyes stared down at the words scrawled too-neatly across the page, as if the man would find salvation between the lines. There had to be some other way than this, there must have been some other option still unseen. Yet try as he might to find another solution to his problem, there was no other out than the one that had been demanded.

Gehenna closed his dark eyes and the image of the broken doll rose unbidden in his thoughts, grinning down at him with a hunger he'd never seen on a human face. Then Isaiah's face rose next to it and the acrid smell of smoke and burning seemed so real that he clenched his teeth around a gag. There were others whose fate hung on this one decision. Ida should have been among those he wanted to keep safe, but over the last few days a cold, chilling realization hit him - he couldn't save them all.

The bile rose in his throat as he stared down at the page.



It wasn't a lie, but it wasn't the truth.

As he raised his hand and pressed his ink-stained sigil into the bottom of the delicate paper, he though he might well and truly be sick. Just as it disappeared into the air, a jolt in his stomach made him reach for it with his other hand, trying to grab it before it went on its path.

There was no turning back now, but had he really had that choice at all?

Chariklo figured that by now, she'd seen a fair few odd things happen. But watching a bit of paper suddenly pop into existence was something entirely new to her.

"That's handy trick," she said rather than the petulant sounding I need you too that was her first (and thankfully throttled down) reaction. "Which of your friends can do that? And I'll be okay, I promise. I'll call Laney or Angus or Cordy if I start feeling too lonely and twitchy."

Managing a slight smile, she wrapped one arm around Ida's shoulders and pulled her into a hug before letting go.

"Give me a call when you're finished so I know you got home all right. Or if you need back up or anything, yeah?"

She wanted to say more, wanted to cling and be selfish, but that wasn't fair to Ida or this unknown friend. So, instead, she took a step back, kept the smile on her face and gave her friend a tiny salute.

The Squire felt her before he heard her and he moved through the empty show house with its too-neat arrangements and coordinated decor. It looked as hollow as he felt. One hand reached out and grabbed the knob on the back door, wrenching it open so he could walk outside.

Somewhere above him, he heard her voice, and for a moment he considered not answering her. The stark reality of what he was about to do seemed too real when he heard her - innocent, caring Ida - and his eyes shut against the dimly lit back yard with its neatly trimmed hedges. Inside the house he could hear the woman stirring, her energy muted by the glamour she had pulled over herself, tucked into one of the back bedrooms. She had arrived not long before Ida and her presence was enough of a threat to make him open his eyes again and take a step forward.

It was Ida, or everyone else that he cared about. One sacrifice for the mass.

"Down here," he called, in a voice he hoped wasn't strained, "she's.. she's in the house. I can't take her to the hospital." The trembling in his voice could have simply been concern, or worry, over a friend.