Bindhi floated in an almost gentle lasstiude. After the first cut, nothing much hurt. Except she felt so tired. Sanskrit’s frenzied barking reached her through a barrier of cotton, as did different frenzied sound. This one was closer, familiar. Bindhi might have opened her eyes, she wasn’t sure. She was floating away and somehow, the noises that part of her identified as her name being called didn’t seem so important. Everything was set at one remove and she reveled in that sense of nothingness, even as a distant part of her was aware of being shaken. Aware of a quiet before a noises like angry, deep voiced birds chattered around her, forced her out of her protective bubble.

Then, there was a sharp burning in her veins and faces floated in and out of sight, distorted and leering. All chattering and chittering at her, driving home how stupid, how completely awful she was. How right she’d been to try and take herself out of the world. Encouraging her to die faster, before anyone had a chance to bring her back. Only, in the midst of the burning and the nightmarish, mocking figures, Bindhi thought she could see a slender form glowing against the darkness. It protected her, forced the monsters back.

Just like a mother, she thought hazily. Just like my mother. Only she’s gone. It was odd though. She was almost certain that this figure was her mother, still trying to keep her safe. Only it was odd. In the cloudy swirls of faces and features around her, at one point, her mom had Ida’s hair. At another, Hver’s eyes. That couldn’t be right, could it? At one point, she would have sworn that a cool hand brushed itself against her face as worried voices encouraged her to hold on.

Don’t wanna, she thought back. Just wanna rest. She tried to burrow back down under the clouds and the cotton that wrapped around her. Tried to escape those insistent voices. The gentle, worried touches. They didn’t understand. Her mom didn’t understand. All she wanted to do was stop and stay with her mother. So why did she keep pushing her little girl away? It made no sense.

Gradually though, the sense of being caught in a bubble began to fade. Her thoughts came back with a clarity that she wasn’t sure if she should be pleased with or not. The leering faces faded along with the shining form of her mother. Or they simply reverted to their normal everyday forms as she reluctantly came back to consciousness.

With a sigh, Bindhi became aware of how very itchy her scalp felt. And how very sore her arm was. Moaning softly as she steeled herself to open her eyes, she wondered what she would see. Judging by what she could feel, she was in a bed. And since her bed at home didn’t tilt up…

Cracking her eyes open and blinking a little blearily as the world around her tried to come back into focus, she could only sigh again as tears formed and began to drop down her nose.

“Aww, ******** my life.”

She was back in the hospital.