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This was a touchy subject.

Either she’d completely misread him, which was possible, and was possibly setting herself up for embarrassment, or there was more to her brother than she’d previously thought. Maybe there were plenty of hints that she’d just failed to see in the whirlwind of their relationship. Maybe it was as plain as the nose on her face. She was determined to find out and let herself into his apartment, using her own key.

“Arias?”

It was the look that he gave Westley that was the proverbial straw that led them here tonight. She brought over a bottle of sparkling cider, knowing he would not approve of her drinking if she’d brought wine like a proper girlfriend, or, friend that was a girl.

“Hey, Arias, can we talk?”

There was the bottle in one hand, a Disney DVD in the other and a grin on her face. One way or another she’d get to the truth. After all, she’d never heard of him with another girl. KD had never even heard of him going on dates, let alone being physical with the opposite sex. Even when they fell asleep on the couch together it was always strictly platonic, which was nice and welcome, but she wondered if there wasn’t more to it.

It would certainly explain why he never succumbed to her wily charms.

Arias didn’t seem to suspect anything was amiss—or, if he did, he gave no indication that he was uncomfortable. Usually 'Can we talk' indicated a deep conversation about an undesirable subject matter, but there was KD, grinning with cider and a movie.

Certainly she couldn’t be up to anything.

"Of course," Arias said; he gestured for her to make herself comfortable. "You know I'm always here to talk. Hey—have you eaten dinner yet? I was going to make something, but I sort of don't feel like cooking. I was thinking pizza, is that all right? I mean," he nodded towards the DVD in her hand. "Pizza and a movie sounds good, right?"

If it was meant to be a thought worth considering this very moment, he quickly brushed it aside by jumping back to the original topic. "—But I suppose we can figure out dinner plans later. What did you want to talk about—are you all right? Everything okay?"

Ah, with his traditional worry. He wore a light smile, perhaps his slight attempt to mimic KD's grin, but there was still the faint little touch of nervousness and worry tugging at his lips.

“Yeah, sure, pizza.”

KD was a girl of very simple tastes and pizza fulfilled most of them. What the cheesy creation could not satisfy the sweet cider would. He could have ordered cardboard takeout and she would have been happy with it because of the company, they got along so well. She was happy just to have him in her life, regardless of what he fed her, as long as it included cupcakes every once in a while.

“I’ll put on the movie!”

It wasn’t like she didn’t know where everything was; she was there all the time. She’d brought along Mulan, one of her favorites. There was something about a girl that could kick a** that appealed to her. Brains, not brawn. Though, to be fair, she had brawn too. Maybe someday Sherwood could be more like Mulan.

She waited for him to make his call, snuggling into the couch and popping open the cider to pour them both a glass.

Arias nodded; he disappeared back into the kitchen for only a moment. He was multitasking; he couldn’t just sit still on the phone. So, now, he was cleaning up, the kitchen while he ordered two cheese pizzas. He tried to keep it short, either because he wasn't much of a fan of phone conversations or because he was anxious to get back to KD.

…Either because he was excited for her company or worried for whatever her idea of a talk was meant to be. He said goodbye to the woman taking his order, and then went quiet. There was the sound of chinking glass, and then of the cupboard closing. The kitchen light went off and then he entered the living room, smiling.

As he settled on the couch, he presented KD with the glasses and then tried to make himself comfortable. Glancing at the television, he flashed a quick smile—he obviously approved of her choice—and then his attention was back on her.

"…It'll be here in half an hour, they said. So I hope that's not too long. We can turn on the movie, if you’re ready--or,” he faltered and then shrugged and then blurted, “Is this a serious talk? Should I be worried?”

KD had everything pretty much set.

She was trying to play it cool, if only not to worry him because he had a tendency to do that. It was super easy to get comfortable in his house and before long he was back out in the living room and she smiled, offering him a cup of cider. The movie was on pause waiting for both of them to be ready. Everything was right on schedule. A little pizza, singing silly songs, apple cider...

Then he had to rush things.

Oh crap!

“Oh! Uh…”

How did she answer? It was kind of serious. Not serious as in she hated him or that she didn’t want him for a brother or a partner anymore but more serious than, say, asking him to help her with a batch of cupcakes for the school bake sale. Crap! Crap! Abort! Abort!

“Um...Arias, I kind of think you’re gay.”

Smooth...real freakin smooth, KD. She sighed and dropped her head, looking at the floor.

“This isn’t how I was planning and I don’t care if you are. I mean, you’re still my brother and I love you. But the way you looked at Westley when you met him. And I haven’t heard about you with other girls and it’s just never seemed like you’ve been interested and, well, are you?”

She looked up and tried to smile among the train wreck that was her little speech. So much for taking notes and mental practice.

“Gay, I mean.”

For a long moment, Arias just stared at her. There were subtle changes in his demeanor; his breathing had hitched and though the lighting may have been a bit deceiving, he looked a little paler. He didn't move for a time, and when he did it was only to cross one arm over his chest and cup the elbow of his other as he raised a hand to his chin.

Two fingers rested under his chin and his index and forefinger over his lips—and then he looked away and shrugged.

His words sounded strained and too soft, and he managed only to reply a very hesitant, "Probably."

And then, almost frantically, he added, "Well, I suppose I'd better be, because I accidentally asked someone out the other day and he. Well. I mean, it was after the whole Westly thing—and I am sorry about that, I don't know what came over me. I didn't mean to, I don't usually—" Now, he was turning red and seemed desperate to insist he wasn't thinking anything awful about her love interest. "—I was going to tell you, honest, it's just—It's just that I've never…said it. I didn't want it to be real, I just."

And then, deflated, again. "I didn't want to let anyone down. I don't…know that the people in my life would understand, and I—I just thought if I met the right girl…"

…Except his eyes never landed on a girl.

It never occurred to KD to think differently of him no matter the answer he gave. He had spoken once of the pressure his parents put on him for grandchildren and she could not understand how bizarre and bad that might feel considering, well, there wasn’t going to be the right girl for him and, by extension, probably not any biological children of his own. She didn’t think there was anything wrong with who he was, but maybe his parents wouldn’t agree.

She giggled, half out of nervousness, and felt awful for asking and making it a big deal when he wasn’t comfortable with it.

“Well, I mean, you never fell for me so…”

It was an awful joke, but she just had to cut the tension however she could.

“It doesn’t change anything for me, Arias.”

She still knew who he was, that he was in her corner, and that she loved him. She knew he wasn’t going to try and take her boyfriend away and what happened, hell, she didn’t even think he noticed. Westley had only wanted to make a good impression on him the same as she hoped he wanted to make on him as well. She didn’t feel different now that the word was spoken aloud.

She got up and hugged him tight, smelling cupcakes on his clothes and closing her eyes. She stayed that way for a long time, reassuring him and herself. When she pulled away she gave him her customary grin.

“So, you have a date?”

Arias might have been the sort who would rather laugh at his own mistakes or hastily brush something off, or just frantically worry—but when it was serious, there was a different side of him. This wasn't life threatening, it wasn't evil, but it was serious, in its own way.

A smile, gentle and tired, formed on his face at her joke. He didn’t laugh, but it meant enough to him to pull him away from silence. He had moved again and was wringing his hands together before him slowly before she hugged him. He didn't return the hug, if only because his position was a little awkward and he didn't want her to think he was pushing her away.

"I think," he finally replied. "I mean, yes. Technically. I'm not exactly sure what to do with dating. It's all new to me, and I couldn't bring myself to be so pathetic as to Google what you're supposed to do if entertaining a," he faltered, "Well. A romantic guest. I don't know. It happened very fast, you know—I meant only to ask him a question about his Wonder, but one thing lead to another and he thought I was asking him out and…I didn't…reject the idea. It was very forward. Honestly, I'd really just planned to live the rest of my life single and alone, so I'm still sort of coming to terms with all of it."

Thought KD had been wonderful and reassuring, there was still a nervousness that came from whatever perceived stigma he had about sexual orientation. It might have simply been residual from denying it for so long, or some anticipation that he was going to do something wrong and spoil everything—lose all his friends, disappoint his family. He didn't know, and he didn't want to find out. Hiding from the truth—denying it—seemed so much easier.

…Until KD showed up and somehow made it seem all right.

“He’s a knight, too?”

Her eyes sparkled a little bit, happy he found someone on their side of the fence. She wasn’t going to mention Westley, knowing he was a senshi and thinking that was his secret to reveal. She had always pictured him with a certain type, rather than a certain sex, and she hoped this boy, whoever he was, would treat him well and help him open up to the exciting pleasures of life.

Though maybe not as zealously as she did.

She had to ask, because the thought of it was making her stomach do little backflips and a horrible nagging feeling kept grating at her.

“Are you mad at me?”

Her large green eyes looked up to him, pleading with him not to be upset with her.

Arias blinked and then shook his head. He wore a very tired smile; the conversation itself wasn't difficult, but the topic had drained him in a way he hadn't anticipated. "I'm not mad, no. Why would I be mad at you? If anything…" He sighed and leaned against the wall, brushing a few strands of hair from his face. "I was worried you'd be mad at me. I'm…sorry."

He was quiet for a second, and then continued, chancing a glance back up at her. "I don't like secrets. But I guess I'm just sort of a hypocrite. It's exhausting, you know. Trying to keep everything in check. Trying to be someone else. Trying to be…the person you want to be. I guess…it feels nice to…" He shrugged once more. "I don't know. It's strange. I don't know what to say."

“How about ‘KD you are the awesomest person ever?’“

She gave him a small grin, relieved beyond all reason that he wasn’t mad at her. She didn’t really understand his dilemma as, by and large, she was usually only ever herself. She didn’t really try to project what people wanted to see more than she tried to fashion her life around what she wanted to see. She spent time with people that made her happy and meshed with the perspective.

“So...how about a double date? As long as you don’t oggle my boyfriend.”

She stuck her tongue out at him playfully, knowing he would not purposefully be so crude. And, honestly, she wanted to meet this person that caught his eye and see if he was good enough to be with her brother. It was her duty, after all, as his sister and partner. He passed the White Moon test, what about the others?

Oh, yeah, and Westley had been upgraded from a boy she was seeing to boyfriend. She hadn’t had a chance to tell him that yet.

The smile that had been forming on Arias' face quickly disappeared with her oggling comment and he let out a weak groan and covered his face with one hand. It worked to cover the red flushing his cheeks, but did little to hide his burning ears.

"KD, please," he said, sounding exasperated. "I didn't mean to, and I certainly don't want it to happen again. Don't—don't tell him I did that," he said, dropping his hand. He seemed more flustered than before. "—Keep that between us, just you and me. If you wind up serious with this guy, I don't want to wind up banned from you because he thinks I'm some creep! Honestly, I'll keep my eyes to myself, thank you very much."

He faltered and then added, "But, you know, I really don't know if my…friend would keep to that. He's very…"

…How would he even describe him?

"…Flirtatious?"

“Arias…”

He should seriously know her better than that. She wasn’t going to tell anyone; it wasn’t anyone’s business. What happened between them stayed between them and there wasn’t a force on Earth that would keep them apart. If Westley didn’t like it she guessed he wasn’t the guy for her. She wouldn’t like it, but family came first in her life and he was her family, whether he liked it or not.

“I can prepare him. I mean, I just thought with your first date and all you might want someone there…”

She didn’t want to have to have him ask for back up, trying to save his pride and help him along as always. It was her job and she took it very seriously.

“Anyway, you’re not a creep.”

He never had been as long as she knew him which was a pretty long time by now. She certainly hoped that whoever he was dating could appreciate how wonderful he was or there would be hell to pay. She’d make sure of it.

Arias was quiet for a moment and then just smiled. "You're a good person, KD. In case I don't tell you that enough. Thanks for looking after me." He said it—and he meant it. Arias was used to looking after himself, and his little sister, and anyone else who needed it.

But he didn't like to ask for help, even if all of this was strange and new. But she was taking it like a champ, and the knot of pent up stress and worry writhing in his stomach felt like it had finally come undone. It felt like he could breathe again, even if just for now.

He owed it to her.

"…Maybe we've had enough serious stuff for tonight, though. I feel better after that and don't want to jinx it. Oh! We should probably get started on that movie before it gets too late!"