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 Posted: Thu Nov 05, 2015 1:13 pm
 [Content warning for mentions (sometimes in detail) of abuse, dissociation, and depression.]
[Solo PRP that takes place after the events of the META - but before Halloween >___>]
The events of the Grimm revival and the Nixie arrival had taken their toll on Neptune’s ability to cope. Despite having a nice talk with Melisara afterward, he still felt stretched thin – too overwhelmed to handle anything else. Had he overstepped? What if he’d made things worse? Were they going to decide to take all of the Grimm away? (But what of the disabled ones?) Oh the questions wouldn’t stop, they poured over his mind like the relentless waves of the sea – growing and fading in intensity but never quite granting relief.
And just when he thought he had enough energy to associate with the world – the soft clink of metal against metal, or the pounding footsteps of someone running – the memories would swallow him back up again. Where was he? The room was dark – he could hear shouting… Were they angry or sad? He couldn’t tell- maybe it was happy? Occasionally reality leaked through but only in brief, confusing periods.
And then it would end. He would find himself buried into a corner of the room, or under the bed, hiding from some invisible aggressor. It was too much and he couldn’t handle it anymore. Oh what he would give to have it all erased- to forget entirely the screaming voices and shattering glass, to not know that metal on metal sounded like as mother was being taken away.
After these episodes he would crawl into bed and bury himself in the softness of blankets and pillows, remind himself that this was a different place. No harsh words or hard hands were coming. No want for food or water would haunt him – this place was safe… But he still couldn’t bring himself to leave. The others had no idea, but he couldn’t bring himself to ask them to be quiet. It wouldn’t be fair. But the sounds they were making were just so overwhelming.
It had been a week like this, he’d barely eaten despite the caretakers bringing him food. He hadn’t attended any classes, or even looked at his homework. It was time to bring in outside help.
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Posted: Thu Nov 05, 2015 1:16 pm
It seemed like every child that had an interaction with the “newcomers” needed to visit his office. The amount of consoling he’d done over the last week was far more than he’d done over the few months he’d been at the Academy, which was very concerning to say the least. Kirket was not sure how he felt about this whole ordeal- but he did know he had serious objections about ever letting those adults directly involved near the students at this Academy again. The damage done here was great – and potentially lasting for some of the students.
The one he hadn’t seen yet was among his top concerns. Neptune, a shy Grimm boy he’d been counseling for about a month. He hadn’t been at the Academy for very long, and he’d only just recently convinced him that the barbaric behavior he’d experienced at “home” was not normal. Was that work undone? He wasn’t sure – Neptune hadn’t come in for his visit. So, since it was a free day that he had no appointments on, he decided to drop in himself.
He knocked on the door, and waited for a few moments. When no answer came, he frowned and decided to double check the schedule he’d been given… No, Neptune was free at this hour and, knowing him, likely wouldn’t be outside. He replaced the folder he’d been looking in back into his bag, and then gently turned the knob. Unlocked… Not wanting to intrude too much, he pushed the door open, just enough to peer inside. ”Neptune? It’s me, Kirket? I’ve just come to check in on you…” He paused, ears perking to the sound of someone moving. Getting out of bed, maybe?
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Posted: Thu Nov 05, 2015 1:24 pm
'Be a good boy and be quiet, Neptune....'
He rubbed at his eyes, and then his ears, desperately trying to rid his head of that voice. She always said that... Always tried to cover it up by saying he was a "good boy" if he didn't tell-- but she was wrong, wasn't she? Kirket had said so... He felt another episode creeping up, already the room was starting to change - where did the lights go?
And then a knocking that sounded too close to be fake - to real to be in the dream... What was it?
'Neptune? It's me, Kirket?'
He forced himself to sit upright, struggling to focus on reality long enough to hear the hybrid finish his sentence... Was he coming in? Oh, he hoped not... Kirket had seen him in an episode before but he didn't want to be this far gone while someone else was in the room- he couldn't bear it... and yet he found himself getting out of the bed to meet him.
'Be a good boy...'
He wobbled to the entrance of his room - this one had been set up with the intention of giving its inhabitant some privacy from visitors when they came in - and then leaned against the doorway. "H--hello..." He could hear himself speak, but it didn't really feel like it was him doing the speaking. Just as he could see himself looking at Kirket, but didn't really feel like it was him that was doing the seeing. "Ca--...can I h-help you...?"
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Posted: Sat Nov 14, 2015 12:03 am
Oh dear...
He really was in bad shape. Immediately he felt rather terrible about not having the time to come check on him sooner- he clearly could have used it. Why hadn't his caretaker said anything...? He'd have to have a word with them after this. The poor child looked half dead, all disheveled and barely present. Had he even been eating right? He looked smaller compared to the last time he'd seen him. He tried not to frown, though, it might worry him...
"Good morning Neptune, I was just coming to check in." He offered the boy a reassuring smile, and closed the door behind him calmly. "You weren't able to come to our weekly meeting, is everything okay?" He knew that it wasn't, it was obvious just from looking at him. Clearly the events from the Nixie arrival had caused him some severe distress - he just wasn't sure how much distress. Neptune was easily triggered- his abuse hadn't ended that long ago and so the wounds were still very, very fresh... though, time didn't always help with some triggers, Kirket knew that very, very well.
"Do you mind if we sit and talk here for a little while?"
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Posted: Sat Nov 14, 2015 12:21 am
Checking in... He wasn't sure he had the ability to do this at the moment. He was just so tired... The nightmares had kept him up all night, he'd barely gotten any sleep. Still, he wasn't about to turn Kirket away- he liked the hybrid and he was a safe person to talk to... He nodded slowly, swaying in place for a few moments as his mind threatened to disconnect from his body again... Was he really standing here? Or was that just someone who looked like him? He found himself carefully pinching one arm with a claw to bring himself back in-- there... Much better, he could see Kirket more clearly now.
"O-oh... I'm... I'm okay." He nodded- the lie was just so natural to him he didn't even really think about it even after it was said. "I just... haven't felt like leaving..." Which wasn't entirely a lie, but not the whole truth. He did want to go out- maybe even talk to some of the others who had shared the experience- but he was too frightened to leave the safety of his dorm. Some days, even the safety of his bed.
"I'm sorry I missed... I though uh.. my c-caretaker would let you know..." He sighed softly, ears drooping. He had assumed that would happen at least. Hopefully Kirket wasn't mad at him... The second question was the one he'd dreaded-- talking took so much energy. Still, he nodded, and then turned to wobble back to his bed. "I'm.. still kind of tired... I'm sorry." He crawled onto it, but at least remained sitting, legs crossed, and waited for Kirket to make himself at home in the computer chair at the desk across from his bed.
"W-..what do you want to um... t-talk about...?"
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Posted: Sun Feb 07, 2016 9:21 pm
Kirket watched him - examining just how bad off he was... Was he eating properly? He seemed... thinner. No, he probably wasn't eating very well - or if he was, he likely wasn't retaining it for long. He managed to keep the frown of concern off his face, and followed Neptune into his room, taking a seat on the free chair across from his bed. "I'm sorry Neptune, they really should have said something. I'll definitely check in with them and see what happened." He nodded, agreeing that someone should have contacted him at least. Especially if he was this bad off... Perhaps they'd just had an off day or something, but this... was just not acceptable.
"It's alright if you're tired, I expect that whole... event was quite draining." He offered up a comforting smile and nodded a little as he spoke. He knew it was more than that, but it was still too early to poke at the topic in great detail. "Well, I wanted to see how you were doing? Perhaps see what you've been up to?" He tilted his head a little as he spoke. Normally he would beat around the bush - coax Neptune into talking about other things first... but he'd grown accustomed to that tactic and had lately preferred just getting straight to the point.
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Posted: Sun Feb 07, 2016 9:32 pm
Thankfully he hadn't brought up the pinching... or had he noticed at all? Neptune didn't exactly want to ask - they'd touched on his dissociation before and it was not a pleasant topic. He really couldn't handle anymore unpleasantness... Couldn't he just be happy again? They'd told him he'd be happier here... He rubbed at an eye, yawning a little bit as he listened to what Kirket wanted.
Of course... he wanted to talk about what he'd been doing this whole time. Nothing, that was what. Nothing but struggling to sleep and to stay here. But he didn't really want to talk about that... Could he say that? Could he tell Kirket that he didn't want to talk about something in particular, or did Kirket have some sort of right as a therapist to force a topic? He chewed at his lip, considering his response for a moment...
"I don't..." He started, then fell silent for a bit... "I don't w--want to... talk about it... please." His voice wavered, slowly growing smaller as he spoke. "I... I just want to focus on nice things... please...? It's just... It's so hard... to keep thinking about it... all that st---stuff that happened... You...you said that um... I might be able to be h--happy here... So... Can I pl-please start doing th-that?" He wrung his hands, hoping Kirket wouldn't be mad at him for being so bold. In his heart he knew he wouldn't, Kirket was a kind person, a gentle person... But the fear still crept up on him.
'How dare you speak to me like that!?'
He winced slightly at the memory - the last time he'd spoken "out of turn" at home...
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Posted: Sun Feb 07, 2016 9:39 pm
He blinked, actually a little surprised that Neptune had it in him to ask for what he wanted directly. Perhaps this event had changed him - put him in a terrible place, yes, but changed him for the better. Just weeks before he'd barely been able to ask for a cup of water, let alone specify what kind of things he wanted to talk about. Kirket's expression melted into one of warm encouragement as he nodded in response. "Of course, Neptune. We don't have to talk about things you're not ready to discuss." He laced his fingers together, tail curling around his legs.
"I heard that you have some new friends?" He tilted his head, "Ava mentioned that you were with some other kids. How is that going? I'm glad you're starting to make connections. I know it can be difficult to reach out to others sometimes." There - a good topic change, hopefully. Friends were a positive subject to most people, after all.
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Posted: Sun Feb 07, 2016 9:43 pm
Relief washed over him as Kirket agreed to back down from the topic. His whole body felt as if a weight had been lifted off of him. He knew he'd need to talk about it eventually... but for now? For now it was okay to just be. The mention of friends caused his ears to twitch a little - were they friends? He thought back on those moments - holding hands with Tobias... Leaving the art room with Melisara.. Yes, they were friends. At least, he hoped that they were.
"Y-yeah..." He finally responded, the faintest hint of a smile coming to his face. "I d--did... A b-boy named Tobias... He's a g--grimm too... a-and Melisara... She's a ba--baphomet." He nodded a little. "M--Melisara is very um... She says what she thinks... I think... um... But she's nice... She-- she noticed my eye and... offered to stay where I could see her." He pointed to his blue eye, the one he'd lost virtually all vision in.
"A-and Tobias... he's scared too... But he was trying really ha--hard, so I wanted to, too... Y-you know, they said... they said they didn't know wh--what would happen with disabled grimm..." He frowned - apparently he was going to bring this up. It had been eating at him from the moment it left that boy's mouth. "...I'm... I'm a bad grimm... I guess..." He looked down at his lap, feeling the tears well up in his eyes. There came that weight again, crushing, suffocating - threatening to stop his heart.
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