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iStoleYurVamps
iStoleYurVamps
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Posted: Wed Nov 04, 2015 7:30 am
Killing wasn't in truth, something he took a great joy or pride in. It was an unfortunate evil in war, and often those that he found were ignorant of just who they challenged until it was too late. Ignorance and arrogance. The pitfalls of youth, of forced that followed orders without question or fed a string of lies so far they had lost their way from reality.
His hand was stained a dark brown, flaked of blood flicking off here and there and the previously pristine dark grey of the fabric that were his gloves, and the once scarred tan flesh of skin held the dark stain of old blood. The body he'd left covered in a discrete location where it would be found. It would look like they died in the cold from exposure at first. Only if they looked more would they notice the wound in the side.
Yet the blood clung to his hands, even an hour later. It smelled of copper still, and he'd remained powered, still watching for more agents, waiting for the body to be found so he could move on. Once he heard the sirens he'd go. Sirens or officers nearby come to steal a corpse for who knew what. He's seen enough of their abominations not to truth them with their own dead.
Yet he knew the reason why they took them. Yet another unfortunate evil in war, only that was their perspective. As he sat, waiting on the water tower, he felt the flicker of another order and simply waited. If they came they came, if not, he'd let them be.
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Posted: Wed Nov 04, 2015 8:01 am
On a working night, heading to or from her bench at North End Park, Hvergelmir did not usually chase down auras. She preferred to keep her distance and let others keep theirs, not to muddy up her work with the possible well-meaning interference of friends. On other nights, though, while she was patrolling for youma, she liked to make new connections. Expanding her list of contacts was always valuable -- they were sources of information, of aid, of power. They were potential friends and hopeful allies. Meeting new people was, in short, good. Except, this time, when she followed the glow of the eternal senshi radiating from this area, she didn't find a new ally or friend. She found a partly concealed dead body. Hvergelmir recoiled away from it instantly, putting a horrified hand to her mouth. She spun around, her eyes scanning the area for the eternal signature she still knew to be there somewhere, and demanded aloud, "What is this?" A trap of some kind? Why would anyone else stay, hovering over a corpse?
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iStoleYurVamps
iStoleYurVamps
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Posted: Wed Nov 04, 2015 8:33 am
Oh boy. Castor hadn't expected the person to find the body but, they did. A powered eyes tended to bee a bit more keen than civilians in just what to look for, so Castor shouldn't have been too surprised. What was a surprise was it being the woman who had as far as he knew, ire for him and his thoughts and stance. But, so did half of order. "A dead body if it wasn't obvious. Or, alternatively, a body watched until it was found and authorities contacted, I've seen enough corpses turned youma to know that they are not the most kind to their fallen comrades." He walked over and very calmly, recovered the corpse, making sure the death would was still hidden. "Defilement of corpses isn't something I particularly endorse. Though, I'm guessing you would doubt that?" She had seen him at his grand return. "But I digress. If we talk, lets take it else where. Being too close they'll pin it one us." Even if it had been technically him.
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Posted: Wed Nov 04, 2015 1:24 pm
Castor. Hvergelmir's expression turned immediately sour. Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world. God. I want nothing to do with you and your mad agenda.She pulled her cloak close around herself. The night suddenly seemed very chilly -- and she wasn't so used to dead bodies that this one didn't make her queasy. "Defilement of corpses did seem to be your modus operandi the last time I checked," she accused coolly. "But perhaps this is a new development." Hvergelmir looked around, wondering where the other brother was. The more stable-seeming one. Was Castor out here alone because he was off some kind of leash? Should she be worried? Maybe it would be best to keep an eye on him, if that was the case. She'd seen him lose track of reality at least once before. "Walk with me a while, prince of hail," she assented. "I've got time to spare. Tell me about the person you killed."
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iStoleYurVamps
iStoleYurVamps
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Posted: Fri Nov 06, 2015 11:03 pm
He resisted the urge to roll his eyes at her undisguised distaste for him. Still he gave once more a look over the body and feeling that it was fine, he nodded, allowing her to lead them away. The further from view, the better. "Do you ever consider the art of war Hvergelmir?" He knew her name, if only from notoriety, much like most knew he was simply Castor when he arrived to places royal. "You ought to consider it." Still he followed her lead, and figured there was little wrong in talking to pass the time. That and, two powereds from order would be easier keeping any offers seeking the body to corrupt at bay. "As for the person they were a captain of, unfortunately, little consequence. Once I permanently removed their youma from existence, I used a shard of ice from my attack to stab them in their side. I missed-" he sighed, visibly displeased with the fact, "-their artery, and had to finish it by knocking them out. They bled to death not far off, and I moved the body so It would be found." Castor showed them his hands, blood still lingering. "If it comforts you, they were not aware when they passed." He didn't even know the captain's name.
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Posted: Sun Nov 08, 2015 2:39 pm
Hvergelmir felt herself inwardly bristling, the longer Castor spoke. From the patronizing suggestion that she would be served by considering the art of war to his snidely explained designation that he had killed a captain of 'unfortunately little consequence,' it was hard for Hvergelmir to envision a way in which Castor could offer her more offense in as few words as he had. "I ought to consider the art of war," she echoed, staring at the senshi of hail with evident disbelief. " I ought to consider the art of war?" She was forced to wonder, if Castor knew her name and her purpose, what exactly he thought she did with her time. Twiddle her thumbs? Sit down for tea and crumpets? Exchange casserole recipes? And even if she did all those things and nothing else, did he assume she did them with no motive whatsoever? " 'If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.' I asked you to tell me about the person you killed, not how you killed them. Do you believe you already know your enemy well enough to win every battle? To determine whether our army's position is advantaged relative to theirs?" She grimaced. "Sun Tzu is not a long read. You may not take what I do seriously, but I assure you I do." Her arms folded across her chest, posture drawn and uneasy. Conflict -- confrontation -- was neither pleasant nor easy. She was not on familiar ground here, and wanted to be gone from it as quickly as possible. She wanted to run away. The old Laney would've run away, found some excuse to put off an encounter like this. She forced herself to dig her heels in and stay. "Sun Tzu suggested the outcome of any campaign could be predicted based on five factors affecting each army. The moral law that unifies the army, the prevailing current conditions, the constants of environment, the qualities of the army's commander, and the method and discipline of the army. He suggested that an army should only engage the enemy when it will improve their advantage based on these five factors. Of those five factors -- moral law, heaven, earth, command, and structure -- tell me where you think our side can claim the strongest advantage right now."
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iStoleYurVamps
iStoleYurVamps
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Posted: Tue Nov 10, 2015 3:36 am
Had Castor knew her mind he would have answered that he expected she coddled the knights and pandered to flawed ideals and risked too much with no hope of gain. That and not tea but more coffee and croissants. "If I had known their name, you think I would not care to recall it?" He asked her, tone all but bland and the taste of annoyance on his tongue. "They were an officer who offered me no words other than a declaration that they would 'hang my head upon the crystal throne'. As to know my enemy? Yes. I know them because I have seen them at their worst and greatest. I have seen their strongest at their weakest, and their weakest become their kings. I have taken their Ascended General to my world as a guest, and seen the promises in her skin and eyes of our fate should we fall." He tilted his head, clearly wanting to get something from their conversation. Curiosity mixed with trepidation. Castor wanted to know more than he lead on. "And you shouldn't claim we have an army. We have nothing as far as a unified front. Yet still? Lacking an army? Lacking any sort of leadership than the name of a dead princess who we will never see in our entire lives? Without any true unified morality or basic dignity and respect for the enemy, much less each other? Order the largest, most apparent advantage in years and we're too busy playing moral compass to even act on it and frankly, it's infuriating." He walked towards her. "Does the phrase, to fool my enemy I must first fool my allies strike any chord with you by chance?" He was close, still the expression of curiosity remained.
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Posted: Thu Nov 12, 2015 1:51 pm
Castor's approach put Hvergelmir in mind, uncomfortably, of early meetings with Bischofite. He'd stood over her chair, leaning into her personal space, waxing idly about all the terrible things he'd done and how naive she was to even be standing there. He'd meant to scare her -- and he had -- and she'd had to sit there all the same, pretending not to be made uncomfortable. It reminded her of Amphitrite, too, so very recently -- prowling in her anger like a tiger, circling threateningly like a hawk. He was dangerous. Mentally unstable. He'd shown that much at the warehouse -- and she doubted he'd bothered to seek out psychiatric intervention since then. She felt distinctly unsafe, the closer he stepped. Hvergelmir wanted to back away -- to reestablish her own safe territory and gain some distance -- and had to fight, once again, to keep still. Not to be intimidated into alteration. The oath. The composure. The posturing. It was all the same, all part of the same scheme -- to prove her conviction in the face of any opposition. It didn't matter if it was true. What mattered was that she demonstrated it at all times: I am unshakeable. I cannot be driven from my course by anything. I am that confident in my path. Have you ever felt that confident in yours? No one in the Negaverse was ever going to believe in what she was doing unless she believed in what she was doing. That meant she had to believe in it at all times, without flinching or equivocation. Even in the face of what she suspected was an overpowered madman. She slipped into the most composed mindset she could find -- picturing Castor not as himself, not standing over a pile of mutilated bodies in a warehouse -- but as Amphitrite had just been. Hvergelmir could be a bulwark in the face of a storm here, too -- if she tried. Probably. "Sun Tzu," she said with careful calm, "asks that we do more than respect our enemies, if we mean to defeat them. If you mean to tell me that you don't underestimate the Negaverse, I believe you. But I can't see how you intend to understand their army well enough to predict or guide their movements, if you don't even understand ours. "We are an army, whether you acknowledge it or not. We aren't just people in large numbers. And you couldn't build a winning strategy on it if we were." Hvergelmir watched Castor watching her, trying to read the expression in his eyes. He was searching for something -- his question was very pointed -- but it was hard to imagine where his trail might lead. "Yes," she answered slowly. "I understand the phrase. Why?"
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iStoleYurVamps
iStoleYurVamps
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Posted: Thu Nov 12, 2015 11:35 pm
"Respect is not a right given to those who have nothing to respect. Respect and decency are not interchangeable, as many of order somehow thinks they are." He thought back to how some would treat their enemies, the utter contempt of basic concepts of battle and war- and just what was indeed, reprehensible and deplorable and what was otherwise unjust- a concept he often found himself at odd with. This was going to be a long conversation and for a moment he looked to the knight. She would never change her position. She was stubborn and likely, headstrong. She cared too much, too passionately. She was too much himself in that sense. She was too much in his eyes a reflection of himself, of what he could have been once upon a time before he'd become jaded. Before he'd felt and seen his past and future shadows return to haunt his mind and memories. "Certain times our situations call us to sacrifice certain moralities to make tactical advances. Every action bears consequence. Just why I refuse to coddle those who seek to purify. Why I would 'torment' Teide of Cosmos before she knew herself as Teide." Castor was fighting for an even tone, yet his mild aggravation and exasperation were leaking through, becoming open as he used air quotes to the word torment. "You move, act and speak in a manner that show more than I think you gasp- You move like you lead. With the thought of our people before your own motives. I am trying hard, very, very hard I might add to express my admiration on that, even if I don't agree with your stance." He sighed, leaning his body on a leg while the other scratched at his calf. Fingers picked absentmindedly at the caked dry blood in his gloves. "If you think we are a proper army you are mistaken. I am not going to pretend on something as definitive as a unified, cohesive force that answers to it's leaders and that we have soldiers who are equipped to take up arms, defend and fight at a moment's notice. A force that can react in an instant to an attack. None of them are trained to act as one. Those that are act in small easily disposed of unit. In a true fight against the face of the might of Chaos, if we were to face tomorrow, a full scale invasion, what do you think the result would be? How fast before we would see ourselves making any sort of retaliation?" He let her dwell on it. He would let her think and come with her defenses. "We have no defenses. We have no chain of command. Everyone answers to no one. Those who answer to others do so out of courtesy and respect. Two traits that while good, and not the complete formula for a unified force. We stand no chance against the tide of darkness if we remain as we are. That is just why we have the upper hand for the first time in years. Because for the first time in years, we are seeing weakness in the ranks of the negaverse. We are seeing systematically their efforts becoming less overt, less public. They are moving, but the have moved from their hunts of us to something else. Their gaze is not what it once was." Once more he looked at her pointedly. "Have you not wondered something basic then- why would I pointedly expose myself and my weaker sibling in a manner to highlight a weakness in our ranks? Why sow dissent against myself and ignore all sense of self preservation and risk allies new and old after a three year absence? Why would a royal, a being who poses perhaps the greatest threat to chaos in terms of power and potential, let his brother claim to be his keeper and let it be known they have a weakness of such depths?" He'd spell it out if he had to. "You move and speak like a leader, you act to protect order and save those who have potential. Yet you blind yourself to our faults, and that is a risk I want to understand. If you accept that you have chosen this path, or if you truly think we are as without flaw as you say and do." "We cannot save everyone. That is the nature of war. That is a point I want to understand from your gaze. A brash, crude and often arrogant prince I might be, but I am not ready to gamble lives in this war. I will not see us fall, and that means I must understand those who oppose my views. Who would lead without knowing they do." Shazari I am all wordy af this is my fate and my own hell
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Posted: Tue Nov 17, 2015 12:36 pm
He was hard-hearted and cold, Castor was. He was the oncoming winter, the days shrinking down to darkness. He fancied himself a grizzled veteran. Look at me, his posture seemed to say. Look at my stupid white hair. That means I've seen some s**t.He'd probably been through a lot. They all had. Hyperborea was fourteen, she'd barely been a knight for any amount of time, and her parents had still been killed. Every person on their side had earned the right to be there in one way or another. "Just because you can find a justification for an action," she said, "doesn't mean it's a wise one. You want to try and convince every person you convert to take up arms the way you'd have them do? I think your methods could use some work, but I won't stop you. But every person -- every person has the right to be free, to be the master of their own will. How dare you tell anyone they have to buy themselves back from you. That our side would withhold their freedom, and ransom it back to them only so long as you profit from it. That wasn't tough love -- that was disgusting." Hvergelmir was feeling -- remarkably -- exasperated. She drew a hand up her forehead to rake through her hair, long bangs on one side trailing through her fingers. "These people have Chaos eating away at them every day. They only trust me in the first place because I let them put their knives to my throat. Do you have any idea how hard any of them have to work just to get themselves that far? Do you know how long it takes to convince them that they're worth something? These people need support -- not for you to make them bend to your will. Don't you tell me that giving someone their freedom is coddling them. It's theirs -- to do with whatever they want. No riders. No codicils. No strings attached. I don't know what makes you think otherwise." She slid a hand up her arm, rubbing anxiously at the seal there. "All it takes to make an army is a cause that people will rise up together for. That's Sun Tzu's moral law -- the thing that gives people the belief that they're doing the right thing. But to make an army successful, you need command and structure: an army that understands and shares a method of acting, that has consistent discipline -- and those things are established when you have a good commander. That commander needs to understand their battleground and its advantages, as well as the current state of the world and how it helps or hinders them. And they need to understand what compels their foe to march, what disciplines their ranks, who guides their forces, and what advantages their foe can call upon from the world and their battleground." Hvergelmir reached up to pluck an orange leaf off of a tree, turning it over in her hands just to give herself something to do that wasn't so guarded-looking. "We have no structure and no command. Their ability to teleport and to have a shared base of operations gives them the advantage over the land -- and the prevailing anti-sailor-senshi sentiment in the news means we don't have the advantage of the current state of the world. Our moral law isn't just our army's strongest advantage over the Negaverse -- it's our only advantage. They have us outclassed in every other respect. You're telling me that the principled beliefs which motivate our army -- the righteousness of our cause -- is the thing that's hobbling us from winning the war, that if we could just do away with that, we'd pull together and win. I'm telling you that the righteousness of our cause is the only thing we have left. I'm telling you so that -- because you asked -- you can understand why it is I do what I do. What it is I'm trying to accomplish. "Whatever it is you see in me, you're mistaken. I'm not capable of being a leader. I've sworn off my power to defend the innocent. I've sworn off my power to cross swords with the unrighteous. The oath I swore forbids it. Any army that marches under my banner can never take the field. I will never command any army . . . and if you're telling me that your strategy depends on convincing your enemies and your allies that you're a crazed, unpredictable wild card, as vicious as you are insensible, then neither will you." Hvergelmir raised a clear-eyed gaze to Castor this time. If he wasn't crazy -- if this was all just some fool's gambit on his part after all, tragically ill-advised -- maybe he could be made to understand, after all. "Tell me -- if you had to save ten civilians or one sailor soldier, who would you save?"
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iStoleYurVamps
iStoleYurVamps
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Posted: Wed Nov 18, 2015 12:29 am
"And so one life is worth a thousand innocents who have no place in our war?" His tone had become harsh and judgemental. "You say things as if purification is simple and that it's effects are not so far reaching. You want to know the fallout my ascension, the purification of the one I love cost, ultimately?" His arms had folded as he looked down upon her, pointed and blatant. "I was the shift in the balance that helped create created Tanzanite. I was the one who's involvement with her and my encounter with Beryl that cost her her arm and had them graft a youma into her flesh without her consent, how they forced her to live and would not even grant her the peace of death. Later, when I took from them the woman who was later my wife, when I became a royal, what do you think the balance did? That it simply accepted a loss? That a sudden rush of powerful energy flowing into order that the cosmos would not seek to right itself?" He took a deep breath, the memories sad and bitter. The wound scabbed yet never healed. "She was connected to us, and it was her that was chosen to fill the void very likely for such a reason. She lost all of her humanity, the woman who might have once been human was gone, replaced by a monster so grotesque that I am ashamed to know I was the one who helped set her upon that path. And yet she was never fully consumed until the very end, she was doomed to die no matter her fate. She filled the void Linarite left, and became a general queen to match my rise. She did not just kill a few, she killed hundreds, very likely thousands Hvergelmir. With the power of her queen, with the power of Metallca, with the power of Chaos, she alone was responsible for countless deaths, and each one of them utterly innocent in our war. She was the answer to balance, and it cost innocent people their lives. People who had nothing to do with us. How many agents of Chaos have taken innocent lives acting on behalf of chaos? Unknowingly, filling a role in the balance?" He was angry. Angry because it was not a truth he liked to relive, to admit. "I have to test each one, I have to tell them the truth of exactly what purification means, what it can mean. Just because it is right, does not mean it is inherently good. Freedom is not coddling, freedom is a sacrifice, made in blood of innocents and the suffering of another who will take their place. Coddling, is not telling them such truth, not telling them that if they take such a path, that they will suffer, that some likely will die for that choice, and no matter what, someone must fill the void they leave behind. I risk everything, not just my own life, but the lives of untold numbers of innocents each time I purify someone. Nothing is without a price. Not even freedom, not even the choice. Knowledge is the price they must pay. Understanding is a price they must pay. Purification is a choice, but is not one that can be made ignorantly. If I make a single mistake, if I misjudge someone's intent, their remorse, their want, their fear, I can and will die. Except my death will leave no void, there would be none to replace me, and none to stem the insurgence of chaos and the deaths of innocent lives." He was angry, and the old would had split open, raw and gaping and fresh as if it was new. "I regret that night I became a royal, that Linarite became Lina. Because had I known what it would cost, I would have done a great many things differently. I would have perhaps, even chosen a different fate, even if it would have cost me a part of my soul to do it. Ultimately, Tanzanite acted as she was created to do, but my hand in her creation cannot be ignored. The lives she took rest not only on her hands but mine as well. I was ignorant of the price of balance, and it was only later that I realized the depth of what I had set in motion that night. 'Purification will always be the right thing, will always be the correct course of action'." He was quoting and he felt older than he was, felt himself regret deeper than he should have. "That is a truth, but it is one that must be tempered with understanding of all the consequences. All the possible outcomes. They do not buy themselves back for me or from me. They buy themselves back from chaos, and must pay for it in their own lives if not with the lives of others. It is a burden they must carry and know, unless they wish to truly be free of chaos and it's grip upon their hearts. If I do not do this for them-" He shook his head. "If we do not give them this truth, that knowledge, it is a doubt. It is one they will discover all too late, and it opens them back to the lure of chaos. What you do is right, but if we omit truths, we risk hurting them more than we can heal them. We risk losing them and if we did?" He'd not see another fall as he had. He'd not let his mistake be repeated, let such sufferings occur when they could be stopped. "My role is to protect and serve. But it is also to maintain what balance we might have. Mitigating the loss of life. It is not just for civilians, senshi or knights alone that I might do this- I must too, do this for the universe itself. We fight a war and like any war I cannot simply act ignorant. Our moralities cannot focus on us, on being better. Righteousness is not always the way of Order. It is a single strand of a much larger tapestry if you want a visual. You are not wrong, but each time we meet, I feel you ignore the depths of what ideals you promote. It will not matter if you wish to lead or not, only that people look to you to lead and guide them. To lead an army you don't need to send them to war, to fight. You can simply exist, and they will fight for you. How many fight for a princess that is dead, who's ideals they will never know the depths of, and who will never have the chance to lead them? Who they look to for answers is just as much a leader as any other. That is an advantage of Order. The advantage of choice and knowledge." In the distance he sirens of police and an ambulance drew near. The body had been found and reported. "I do not want to lead them. But I know some might want or see me in a place to do so. It is better I remain as I am, because we need chaos to underestimate us. We need them to discount the threat we pose. I can only advise us, give us a sliver of an advantage for the most dire of fates if things should begin to fail. You ask who I would save." They were not the same, but he'd begun to gasp her sights and goals. She was noble in her pursuits, idealistic in her hopes for them all. "There is not a correct choice in whose life is more worth saving than another. There never will be. My choice would be to save both, and carry the consequences of my decision. If I made the wrong choice, if it ended in death and suffering?" He looked towards where they had left the body. "That will be upon my hands, just as all my decisions are." Shazari All aboard the castor self righteous dicktrain of martyrdom
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Posted: Thu Nov 19, 2015 10:54 am
Hvergelmir stared at Castor for a very, very long time. Whatever she'd been expecting from him -- whatever she'd imagined he might say -- it was not this. She looked at him, for the first time, with true pity. I never took you for a religious person, Castor. But maybe I should've.
You've taken something very large on faith, and it's broken you."I don't know who told you that was how the universe worked," Hvergelmir began, her tone having fallen abruptly away from anger and into sorrow. "But that's not how the Code explained it to us. There are . . . how do I explain this." She took a moment for herself, balling up her fist and putting the side of it against her mouth. Contemplating. " 'Law' is kind of a funny term. We use it in a way that tends to muddy up concepts. When we talk about the laws of physics, laws are rules that describe the way things are and the way they function, whether we like it or not. Newton's Law of Universal Gravitation, for example -- gravity exists. You can't break gravity. When we talk about the laws of governments, on the other hand, we're talking about rules that describe the way someone thinks things should be. Perjury is against the law. The law says you shouldn't lie under oath. But you definitely can." She lowered her hand again, fiddling with the chain on her dress: a nervous habit. "The problem with what you're saying is that laws about how the universe works and laws about how it should work don't coexist. Newton's law says that two objects attract each other with a force based on their masses and distance from each other. It doesn't say that two objects should attract each other with a force based on their masses and distance from each other -- because a law can't be both a rule and a state. What you're describing is contradictory: sometimes, in your perception of events, the balance is a state the universe can be in, and we have to try and preserve it because it's the preferable state. But sometimes, the balance you're describing is an incontrovertible fact of the universe, something that exists and is constantly true: the universe is always in balance; it exists this way beyond human alteration. "There are two possibilities to what you're saying. One possibility is that the universe is always in balance: the universe is full of X amount of Order energy and Y amount of Chaos energy, and X equals Y, and X always equals Y regardless of where that energy might be. There's no changing X and there's no changing Y. If that's the case, then the balance already existed, and the power you called upon to become a Prince, or to convert Linarite didn't add or subtract anything -- it just moved the Order energy that already existed from one place to another. X didn't change, so there was nothing to be 'fixed' because it's still equal to Y. "But that's not what the Code told us. What we were told was that balance was one state the universe could be in, and that it was preferable to a lack of balance in either direction. We were told that the universe wasn't just out of balance, but had been out of balance for over a thousand years -- that the whole of this galaxy has been overrun by Chaos monsters, and Earth has fallen to Chaos, all except our last holdout here in Destiny City. We were told that the universe wasn't in balance -- and that converting people back to Order was one of the ways to help correct it." "Either way," she said, "I don't think fate is a concept that's productive to human life. I choose to believe I have free will, and that that free will is real -- that no 'balance' can step in and rearrange my mind or my heart to suit its will. I believe the changes we see in this war are the result of the intention and consquence of the things we do. "There's nothing abstract about the fact that when an officer converts, another one might be corrupted to take their place -- or about the fact that when an officer dies, another one might be corrupted to take their place, too. That's not a cosmic balance -- that's aggressive recruiting in the face of thinning numbers. But that balance is maintained or not maintained because of our own behavior -- it's not a cosmic destiny. Your princedom didn't universally fate someone like Tanzanite to become a new General-Queen -- it just made it a logical course of action that the Negaverse might look for one. Please stop blaming yourself." The wind was cold around her ankles. Hvergelmir summoned her stardust cloak to hand and wrapped it around herself like a shawl. "The consequences of leaving an organization, an army, aren't beyond human understanding -- you weren't ignorant of them. If I quit my job, the company I work for will hire or promote someone to replace me. No one who leaves the Negaverse thinks otherwise -- and neither did you, when you converted Linarite away from their control. You know there would be some kind of backlash. You want to believe there was some mystical, unknown element to that that was beyond your understanding because you regret what happened, and maybe it makes you feel more in control to imagine that you understand that missing piece now and nothing will go badly again. This belief -- that you made a foolish mistake and now you can atone for it by working that much harder to ensure it never happens again -- it'll hold you in the place you are forever unless you learn to let it go. You're trying so desperately to atone for something, that you'll never make peace with what happened because you're too afraid to let yourself believe that there's nothing to forgive." You're at risk, she wanted to say. You hate yourself so much. I'm worried for you."What you did was never a sin, Castor," she said gently. "Please stop doing penance for it."
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iStoleYurVamps
iStoleYurVamps
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Posted: Wed Dec 02, 2015 9:13 pm
He shook. It was not the shaking of anger, but the shaking that came with deep breaths, suppressing feelings and emotions. The breath that came from swallowing down things that one wanted buried. "No." The tone was definitive. "That's the problem. One of our problems. They exist at the same time. Subjective and absolute. You cannot simply say something that just is, you can only hope to give it a quantification." He motioned towards the area where they sirens were wailing, a white noise to him now, yet a reminder of what had brought them there. "How do you have the law of gravity, yet there is a way to counteract it? A way that is subject to nothing more than spoken words and a means that was latent in a body that is molecularity no more different than you or I? You code is not incorrect. The universe has been out of balance for a long time. A thousand years of senshi and knight dormancy has left chaos and it's forces run unchecked. Yet you just spoke a truth that is over looked." He wasn't wrong. He refused to be wrong. Not just because he wanted to be right- But because if he was wrong, he had failed in a way that there would be no recovery from. He'd saved someone, and then failed to keep them safe. "Purification is one way to correct it. Unlike chaos, forcibly purifying is a dead man's task, and holds little gains. Purification is a course that is limited, and perilous. The White Moon senshi have lost their queen and her would be consort. Her revival will not come for a thousand years if we are lucky, but yet senshi and knights hold onto her like children clinging to the skirts of a mother. Had she survived, her crystal quite possibly would have greatly allowed us the opportunity to gain traction in recovering our losses Yet she is dead and she is not going to come back. She will not return to lead them. Her crystal and it's powers are for all purposes, lost to us." "I used to think that she might help me, that when she reached out to me, that she might come back, that it was her way of trying to guide from beyond the grave." He gave a barking bitter laughter. "It was that kind of fool's thinking that let me believe that good will triumph over evil. That we, that order was good. Then I grew older. I grew wise. I saw the costs and price that a fool's dreams could be. I saw my dream die the instant the flowers I had brought from earth to Castor for my beloved died over night. Dream and hopes are for fools who do not know the harsh realities and sacrifices they must make to keep them alive." He looked at her, a hollow stare of a man who had broken and shattered a part of his soul yet still fought to march on wards to a battle. "You said it yourself. 'Earth has fallen to Chaos, all except our last holdout in Destiny City.'" He left his power wrap around him, the hum of cold and sound of ice crackling as he changed. "It is not a matter of if I purify. It is never a matter of how. It's is only a matter of time. How long until we have the chance to retreat? To strike? How long before we must take the final stand?" He let his words drop lower, an admission. "How long before purification is no longer an option, and our only recourse must become wholesale slaughter if we are to merely survive?" It was a bleak future they had seen. It was a fear- and a possible reality. "I cannot forgive myself for my mistake. My pride. You are not the first to tell me that, you won't be the last. There is no one left alive who can forgive what I have done to them. I want to believe that maybe we might win, that maybe, we are wrong, that this is not the last place that might host our starseeds, that humans are not the last viable race. If your code is right, if we are the last?" He didn't like it. He didn't want to admit that he felt his failings were going to send them further down the path of the end. " I am Prince Castor, senshi of hail, and through me, justice shall rain down from the heavens. I am the fury of ice and force, I nature's devotion to whim, I am the bond of a few to become the power of many. I am a royal who's power is in destruction. Hail was never gentle. I was never gentle." "I will kill them Hvergelmir. I will kill every single last one of the agents of chaos until we are safe again. I will kill them so they will fear me and hunt me. I will kill them as quickly as I find them to thin their ranks, to fight an ever growing tide. Until we have retaken what was been stolen from us. Those that will take the risks of death, that will face their once allies are few and far between. You are a road that leads to a paradise. A woman who believes in peace and that order is good." "You will be the beacon of hope for many, and the day you fall I will mourn you as I mourn each life I must take in this war for a lost cause. I will mourn because you give them what I cannot. You have faith and believe we are good at our core." The cold came closer to his skin, the water in his eyes making the dark blue shine in their hollow gaze. "My problem was I was never good to start with." With that Castor turned his back to her and left earth, the only sign he'd been there a small patch of frost where he'd been standing moments prior. Shazari sobs I felt it was a good cut off b/c castor is the most stubborn self righteous a** and hver is the sad and so many feelings bless u
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