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 Posted: Tue Oct 13, 2015 5:08 pm
She didn't want to do this, Oh god, she didn't want to do this. It had been hard enough keeping it together in front of Bix, and the archer hadn't had the intimate ties to Taym, or each other, like they had. Which was why Pey was standing on America's porch, arms filled with journals, notebooks, and a box filled with trinkets and other personal possessions. I can't do this. She'd thought it countless times on the walk over here, in the hours leading up to it. It wasn't that she didn't want to (Although in truth, who did?), it was just that she wasn't sure if she were capable of it. < You can do this.> The demon's voice was soothing, but even that had it's limits. Nothing was truly comforting. Nothing was going to make any part of this alright. Licking dry lips nervously, Peyton knocked on the door with the toe of her boot.
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Posted: Wed Oct 14, 2015 2:59 pm
The woman that opened the door was beautiful in a natural way that meant hours had been spent carefully making herself up. From the folds of her skirt to artfully tousled curls, America did not appear to be any sort of emotional mess. She didn't smile at Peyton or reach out for comfort, but her voice, at least, held some warmth as she invited the girl in and then turned back into the house. As they walked to the kitchen, Peyton passed boxes here and there, in the process of being neatly packed. The tea was already steeping. "You can set all of that on the counter," America gestured dismissively, uninterested in what the other had brought.
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Posted: Thu Oct 15, 2015 9:25 am
In contrast, it was rather clear that Pwyton had been crying. That she hadn't really bothered to look in the mirror much that morning, and only luck and versatile wardrobe had kept her from looking like a complete wreck. Her eyes were red and puffy, small face devoid of make up, and it wouldn't take much more than a glance to know she hadn't slept that night. So when America opened the door looking so put together, it was startling. Has pale eyes widening in a way that was almost accusatory before that warm smile softened strained features. Different people cooped in different ways. As directed, she set the box and books on the counter, taking a moment to glance around a little awkwardly before looking back at America helplessly. She really didn't know how to do this. It had been so much easier when she'd been younger, when she had Astrid to care far. Now she felt lost.
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Posted: Sun Oct 25, 2015 8:45 am
Pouring them both a cup, America sat down at the sunny little table. After a pause did began, voice careful, "He always tried to be real...together, for you. Be cooler than he was." He tried for everyone, but most especially Peyton. Shot in the shoulder with a broken arm, even then he'd tried to look so strong and in control the moment Pey had stepped in the room.
"I'll tell you whatever you wanna know, it's up to you now."
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Posted: Sun Oct 25, 2015 2:53 pm
There was a moment of hesitation before Peyton sat down across from America, gaze resting fully on the other girl as she spook, brows furrowing at what she had to say. "What do you mean?" Had it been an act? A mask he'd pulled on for her benefit, or his own? Both?
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Posted: Sun Oct 25, 2015 3:16 pm
America just gazed at Peyton for a long stretch then sipped her tea. " Do you have any questions? Sometimes folks do. Do you want his stories? Sometimes folks want the stories. Good, bad, or both. There's those that don't want to know any more than they already do and that's find as well, Pey." She turns the mug one way, then the other. "There's some pictures too, if you want any copies. Did he leave you the cats? He said he would last year." Another sip, "Probably the closest he's ever come to long term planning."
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Posted: Sun Oct 25, 2015 4:30 pm
"No, that's not..." Peyton frowned, small fingers sliding around the mug set before her. The question about the cats earned a nod. "Yeah, Bix brought them when he came to show me the will." A small pause. "I might want some pictures." She'd have to see them first, to know if she'd want them. "What do you mean he tried to act together for me?"
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Posted: Sun Oct 25, 2015 5:00 pm
"Exactly what I said, Pey. I don't know how well he did with that, how much of a surprise this has been for you. But he did try where he could for as long as he could."
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Posted: Wed Oct 28, 2015 9:30 am
If it was meant to make her feel better, it didn't. The idea that Taym pretended around her, good intentions or otherwise, just managed to make her feel worst. As if she hadn't really known him. "I knew he struggled sometimes, we'd talked a couple of times, but..." Nothing that would have lead her to believe he'd do anything like this. She sighed, looking away and out a window as she ran her thumb over the edge of her mug. "I don't know how to feel," she admitted after a long pause. "Or even how to process this. You'd think I'd have some idea, since my mom...but I never really..." processed that, either. She'd never gotten the chance.
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Posted: Sun Nov 01, 2015 9:23 am
That was, perhaps, the crux of things. It wasn't meant to make Peyton feel better, simply to try and begin to explain. A task that already felt impossible and how could America even try to explain the whole if it? The path that began with her own interference in Taym's already precarious life that led, very directly, to his death in the little square house. As Peyton began to talk of feelings and not being able to really process, America sighed into her drink and decided a poorly attempted explanation wasn't important here. "It's not as if it'll ever be the same, one person to the next, Pey."
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Posted: Mon Nov 02, 2015 2:08 pm
"I know." And she did, probably better than most. She knew the sort of hole a death could leave in a person's life. "I just..." There weren't any words, and instead the girl just sighed, sinking down to lay her cheek against the counter. Everything just felt so overwhelming, like there was a massive weight threatening to crush her, and even breathing felt like a challenge. "At the life labs, when the floor caved in and I fell into the basement. I found one of the clones there." She hadn't told anyone else, only Taym. "I killed it. He said he...he felt it, when it died."
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Posted: Thu Nov 05, 2015 12:24 pm
"He must've been glad you did, one less worry," America commented into her cup, eyes shutting briefly at the reminder of the clones. "I don't think it's the same though, as really dying. We die a lot, in those..." she makes an odd, fluttering gesture, "...situations." She took a slow, careful sip and went on, "I'm sorry you have that as a memory."
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Posted: Thu Nov 05, 2015 1:53 pm
She doesn't say anything for a long moment after that, but sips her tea and keeps her head down. When she does speak, finally looking up again, the are tears in her eyes, and a waver to her voice. "Are you still leaving?"
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Posted: Thu Nov 05, 2015 2:21 pm
"Yeah," America closes her eyes again as she nods, expression crumpling for just the briefest moment at the tone in Peyton's voice. "I keep...Pey, I tried real hard, to be the best me I could. And to keep seeing this place in it's best light, and it's brightest potential. And I can't now. It was never going to work out here and the harder I pushed, the worse everything got around me." She gives herself a moment to swallow back the rest, the apologies and guilty confessions. More evenly, she continues, "I'm going to lead up the Svetloyar base, they're still assessing me to make sure I'm capable but I'll get it. I can't do any worse there than I already have."
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Posted: Thu Nov 05, 2015 2:35 pm
I'm losing them both. Tear filled eyes dropped at that one word answer, looking down at the table as she withdraws her hands from the mug. Withdraws into herself. Shutting down, closing off. A palm scrubs at one cheek, wiping away the tears that hard started to fall there. < It's not your fault...> Everybody left. One way or another. She didn't know what to say, didn't want to congratulate the other girl on her promotion. Didn't want to admit how she felt; lost, half betrayed, petty, selfish. She wanted to sink into the floor.
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